HACKING A URINE ANALYSIS TEST
by Amerikan Junkie
033

   (_)_)=====D~~~~  HACKING A URINE ANALYSIS TEST


  So your on probation, and you didnt have the will power, now
your about to get anally raped by your PO cause in 2 days you
got a UA. What do you do? 
  Chances are if you do happen to be in this situation, you
probably know how to get out of it. But in case there are
those people who were never completly clued in, I will
describe a few ways you can get rid of those toxins.

1. TOXINS

  So you know that the toxins that are left behind are what is
going to get you busted. Toxins hide in a few different parts
of the body:
             a) Blood Stream
             b) Kidneys
             c) Liver
             d) Fatty Tissues
             e) Hair Folicles


2. HOW LONG AGAIN?

  Now, Toxins are usually out of your blood stream in 24-48 Hours. 
They generally disperse from the Kidneys in 48-64 hours. Toxins leave
the liver in a couple of weeks. They stay in the fatty tissues sometimes
for up to a month; and toxins are traceable in hair folicles for up to
5 years!

[NOTE: You probably wont have to worry about a hair folicle test, 
       because they do not want to know your drug history. And they
       cant tell WHEN you did them from a folicle test. They can
       only tell which ones you did.]

3. HOW DO I GET THIS SHIT OUT?

  There are numerous ways to make your urine clean, or even mask
it for a few hours, and make it "seem clean". If you go buy some
"Zygote", or "Terminator GOLD 60", they all contain one thing
in common.....CREATIN (cree-uh-tin). Yea, the weight gain, muscle
building bullshit. Creatin gets in your fatty tissue, and does some
wild shit, and masks the toxins for a few hours, holding them in the
fat, instead of releasing them.
  Now, it is theoretically possible to drink a few creatin drinks 
before having to go administor the test, piss a few times before you
leave, and you should be good to go for 3 hours or so.

 If you dont want to take your chances on that then you can do several
things:

     a) Water. Drink SHITLOADS of it. Try and force the toxins out of
        your system. About 1 gallon every 6 hours for 4 days should
        be sufficient. Ive had a friend drink 4 gallons about a hour
        before he went, and passed.

     b) CERTO! This powerful cleaning supplement can be found in your
        local grocery store in the cleaning section. Mix this powder
        shit in some water, and drink. TASTES NASTY. GARUNTEED TO WORK.
        (also known as shure-a-gel)

     c) PERSCRIPTIONS! Goto the doctor and complain of major kidney
        pains. Tell him you think you got a kidney infection. Ask 
        him for a thing called "DIA-RETICS". They clean you out in
        about a week, and turn your piss *BRIGHT* orange.

     d) DONT USE YOUR PISS, use someone elses. Thats right! Get
        someone who you know FOR SURE that does not do any drugs,
        and get him to piss in a cup. Get a visine bottle, and
        empty the contents. Fill the visine bottle with clean
        urine, close and TAPE it around the inside of your leg
        close to your groin about 2 hours before having to go
        take the test. This is done because the urine has to
        your body tempature. Thats right! They check the 
        tempature of the urine. So make sure you do that.
        And the bottle makes lots of high pitched noises when
        you are emptying the specimen into the container. So
        try and keep it down.


 
That is all....


#EOF