............................................................................ ......::::..|...###.....###...###...###.....#######.....###......;;;;....... .....::::..-*-...###.....###..%##....###.....##..%##.....###....;;;;;;...... ....::::....|...##.##....#####%##...##.##....##...%##...##.##..;;;;;;;;..... .....::::......#######...##.#####..#######...##...%##..#######..;;;;;;...... ......::::....###...###..##...###.###...###..##..%##..###...###..;;####..... .............###.....######...%#####.....###############.....###..###.##.... *****###****###***********************************************###**#**##**** ## ## ### I S S U E # 0 8 0 0 6 - 1 6 - 0 0 ### #### ### # ### ####### #### ### "PH" ### ####### by Effy #### Author's note: Hey people! Here is the tablature to the ORIGINAL PH SONG. That's right. It's the uncut, uncensored, demoralized version of this legendary ballad. A sure hit as a campfire tune, and a perpetual riot at any rock concert. Enjoy. (you will need three people to sing the lyrics) (use plastic popcorn container as a drum) Boom boom boom boom duhhhhhhhhh.... (tune guitar down 1/2 step!) I AM PH WOMAN!!! (E) We went my house one phine autumn day blasPHemy! (Am) with a ph! and another ph! (E) We went to dubuque to the mall to the phood court (Am) WIT A PH!!! (E) we sat down and first we got some shakes they were phun shakes (Am) WIT A PH!!! (E) We were watching phat dancers (Am) wit a ph!!! (E) IT REALLY PHUCKEN SUCKED (Am) wit a PH!!! anyway... (E) we smoked a couple cigarettes we burnt your nose hairs that really hurt I used a straw too (randomly rake pick across strings) Boy did you EVER your MOM do it AGAIN eh eh eh arrrarr!!! (E) It was lots of phun (Am) WIT A PH!!! (E) and very phly (Am) wit a PH!!! (E) anyway, we cruised the mall (cha cha chaaa) (Am) wit no ph!!! (E) we went to moondog it really sucked (wit a ph) they said you had to be 21 to go to the concert we were MAD I felt like a phool (Am) WIT A PH!!! because of them fags (that had a ph too, ya know... yeah, well...) (randomly spasmastic raping of the strings) Boy did it ever!!!@# your MOM!!! do it again!!! eh ehe earrrraer!!! (E) Then we got cappuccino at take phive video (or whatever that place is.) it had LOTS OF PHOAM!!!! (Am) wit a PH!!!!!!!!!!!!! (phoam wit a ph!) (stick the guitar neck up your friend's ass and make him/her strum with his/her intestine) MY MOM HAS A PHD IN PHOAM!!! WIT A PH!!! boy does she ever. your mom??? do it again! ehehe arrra ra;r je!@!#! (E) Then...we went out to the party in Burton it really phucken sucked (am) WIT A PH!!! (E) we saw jesse buttcheese he was drunk off his arse he was reeeeally phucked up (Am) WIT A PH!!! (E) they were all phools it wasn't too phat it wasn't much phun (Am) witout a PH! (E) Head got us vodka cuz he's old enuph he's really phrooty (Am) wit a ph!!! (knock your friend's front teeth out and use them for the desired picking effect) boy is he ever! your mom?...no, head! do it again!!! ehehehea arrrrrgh a l;sdjkfl;askj!#@$%!^%@%@%#@!! (E) We went back to niki's aleda drank some vodka and watched Pink PHloyd (Am) WIT A PH! (E) she got really sick and puked all over the phumes were phreak nasty (Am) WIT A PH!! (lubricate the strings with the blood of your friend's gums and play any sort of sliding power chord transition) boy was it ever DON'T do it again! your mom?! she would be mad! (E) Now it is the end now it's time to go deez eez da phinish phoo. (doot doot doot ggooot) (Am) WIT A PH!@$#@!$$@!!! (go out to the road and dismember a raccoon with your guitar, it's a piece of shit anyway) boy is it EVER. your mom? do it again. (doot doot doot DOOT) Uh...hope you liked our song...hope it wasn't too disappointing...we will see you on tour....*growl* uhhh...take it easy!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!! *PH*PH* *PH*PH* *PH*PH* *PH*PH* *PH*PH* *PH*PH* *PH*PH* *PH*PH* **************************************************************************** # (c)2000 aNAda e'zine aNAda080 .*. by Effy # ............................................................................