............................................................................ ......::::..|...###.....###...###...###.....#######.....###......;;;;....... .....::::..-*-...###.....###..%##....###.....##..%##.....###....;;;;;;...... ....::::....|...##.##....#####%##...##.##....##...%##...##.##..;;;;;;;;..... .....::::......#######...##.#####..#######...##...%##..#######..;;;;;;...... ......::::....###...###..##...###.###...###..##..%##..###...###..;;####..... .............###.....######...%#####.....###############.....###..###.##.... *****###****###***********************************************###**#**##**** ## ## ### I S S U E # 0 9 8 0 7 - 1 5 - 0 0 ### #### ### # ### ####### #### ### "I, Ione" ### ####### by Ione #### "I, Ione leave... Thank God!" There it sat in the middle of "I leave my pom-poms to Christie and my locker to Jane!" No one really noticed, but then again no one really noticed me, or so I thought. I walked off the football field in 1995 cap and gown in tote and never looked back. 12 years of torture finally behind me. Everyone else stood around in his or her little group hugging and crying. Talking of trips to the beach, one last summer and being friends forever. As they all drove off to project graduation honking their horns. I walked home, and never looked back. My graduation party consisted of 3 friends from out of town, my parents and a few relatives. It was just fantastic. On June 22 each year I'd take a moment and think, I wonder what happened to those 300 people who lived a life with me for 12 years. Immediately I'd stop myself, because after all, no one thought about me. Until April 2000, I received a Green, White and Gold envelope bearing the infamous Tiger seal with the message "Where are you now? The class of 1995 cordially invites you to your 5 year high school reunion!" A biography form was included and a post it note from our class president stuck on top. Jeanette (the president) and I fell next to each other in alphabetical order for 7 years. I had 3 classes with her a year, our lockers were next to each other, and we were assigned seats next to each other more times than I can count. We spoke once because she was crying, and not just like a little teenaged angst cry. She was out right sobbing in the middle of math. Anyway, I said are you ok? She replied yes, so I handed her some tissues and that was the end of our profound conversation. Five years later she wrote on her little purple post it, "I know you wont come, but just tell me where are you? PS Thanks for the tissues." Well of course I couldn't ignore this brilliant outreach from the homecoming queen, I mean this is the thing sitcoms and Molly Ringwald movies are made of! I figured I would fill out my biography, and throw in a picture and not go. Unfortunately there were no outwardly ridiculous questions that I could come up with sarcastic answers for. I cruised www.fatchicksinpartyhats.com for the perfect photo to include. I was nearing the end of the questionnaire when I began to rethink my approach. Graduation Name: Ione Kezia Bailey Current Name: Ione Love Hewitt Age: Age is an Illusion Marital Status: Polygamous Clubs/Activities: The Breakfast Club, Cheerleader 1,2,3,4 Occupation: Phone Psychic Hobbies: Grave robbing, torture, voodoo Most memorable Senior Will Quote: Senior will quote... Well honestly I had what I felt was the most memorable senior will, even though no one noticed it. I decided, maybe for once it wouldn't completely suck to show everyone who I really am. So, I wrote. Graduation Name: Ione Kezia Bailey Current Name: same City, State: New York, NY Age: 23 Marital Status: Single Clubs/Activities: Art Club Occupation: Mural Painter (I paint murals in hotels/houses I work with various interior designers.) Hobbies: yoga, and running Most memorable Senior Will Quote: I, Ione leave, Thank God! There it was the real me for all to see. I included a completely fabulous picture of me and some dear friends at a recent gallery show and off into the mail the information went. Two weeks later I received my invitation. My high school gym, in the great Garden State drinking Coors Light with all the other Springsteen heads. Oh I couldn't wait, hanging out with all my old friends thinking about all the great times we had. Laughing at old jokes and singing old songs. Wait no; piss on that. What was I getting myself into? The day came, I put on a dress I've had for a few years, combed my hair and struck out over the bridge. I briefly stopped at my parent's house to pet the dog. Then it was time. I walked up to that building a good hour after the time suggested on the invitation. Everything was same, the gum on the walls and the peeling green paint on the lockers. In front of the gym there was a check-in table. Behind it sat a very pregnant Jeanette. I handed her my invitation and she looked shocked. "Oh, you showed," she said and then continued, "We had this bet, if you would respond or show, and about what you're doing, I knew the tissues thing would get your attention." I tried to be a good sport, "So, who won?" "I did sort of, I won't part of it, because I said you would respond. Kim won the other part because you'd have a job, I really thought you would be homeless," she stated with a totally straight face. "I don't know who Kim is," I replied as I put my shawl back on and headed towards the door. At first I was furious. A nasty remark from a girl I have never done anything to. Completely unwarranted. Suddenly I was 14 with my straight hair and my Doc Martens in a world of Bon Jovi and Cavariccis. Then I realized when all is said and done, I'm way cooler than all of them and they just can't deal with it. I have a cool job, I live in the city, and my social life is like something they only watch on HBO. I guess my mom was right all those years. They're just jealous. 5 years from now when I start to wonder what happened to all those sweet people, I'll bag the reunion and spend the $4 on the yearbook. **************************************************************************** # (c)2000 aNAda e'zine aNAda098 .*. by Ione # ............................................................................