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 .   .   .   .  .   .  .   .  .   .             "A Look At Life..."
 .   .   .   .  .   .  .   .  .   .
  . . .  .   .   . . .  . . .  . . .              by AphexTwin23


  . . w w w . a n a d a . n e t . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

        Wouldn't it be nice if for one day I could just be me with no one
 caring?  Wouldn't it be great to just sit down with someone and tell them
 what you feel and think without being looked down on in a bad manner?  I'd
 like to find that one person who cares, loves, understands, and respects me.
 Where are you?  Why aren't you here with me right now?

        Sometimes... just every once in a while, a thought in the back of my
 head says... why can't you just be like everyone else, be what is considered
 normal.  But then I think, no, I like being me.  Although it is more
 difficult when there are so many people who disagree with me... I enjoy it.
 I like being an individual.  I like showing who I really am and not hiding
 behind a mask all the time.  I've come to an understanding with myself
 finally, almost.  I am beginning to respect myself for who I am.  I'm
 beginning to change.  To change into something more colorful.  I am starting
 to come out of the darkness and say, hey, this is me.

        But still few listen.  Few care.  Few understand.  I feel like my
 whole life I've been waiting for one person.  And they have yet to make an
 appearance into my life.  I think I've found the person and then they turn
 out to be disgusting monsters who I want nothing to do with.  All of my
 life.

        I've been in hiding.  Wishing someone would find me.  Maybe he or she
 will come along and save me soon.  Save me from reality.  Maybe he or she
 will tell me who I am.  Tell me that everything is going to be alright and
 nothing will hurt me again.  Wouldn't that be nice?  I keep wondering why
 no one helps.  Why no one seems to care.  Why no one will tell me what is
 good about me without begging them to.

        And so I step outside of my body and look at the mess lying there on
 the floor.  And I think to myself.  This is you, you are supposed to be this
 way, you created you so deal with it.  And then I smile and think again...
 hey, you're not that bad.  Because at least you care.

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  .           anada 107                by AphexTwin23  (c)2000 anada e'zine .
      
  . . w w w . a n a d a . n e t . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .