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 .   .   .   .  .   .  .   .  .   .           "It's Creeping Me Out"
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  . . .  .   .   . . .  . . .  . . .              by Phairgirl


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        Is it a crime to have hair on your knuckles, or is it just one of
 those things that is simply looked upon as being some sort of beauty faux
 pas... I've never asked, but then again, I've never looked to see if the
 beautiful people have hairy knuckles.  As a matter of fact, now that I think
 about it, I don't think I actually care.  And, as I think about it even
 more, why am I writing about it?  Why did this thought enter my mind?  Is
 there nothing in life beyond hairy knuckles that so fill my brain to the
 point of forcing the horrifically stupid idea on others?

        Not to say that I have hairy knuckles, but what if I do?  I mean,
 would this hinder the affections of others?  Would I need to hide my
 knuckles in shame for all of eternity, hoping that nobody sees them and that
 life can carry on as if nothing had ever been wrong?  Or shall I be forced
 to out myself and wear a scarlet hair on my forehead, forever marked as one
 who carries the flawed genes of the hairy knuckle?  Will this, my friend,
 seal my fate?

        Is there some land, some distant island in the middle of the ocean
 near absolutely nothing and unlike absolutely everything, where hair on
 one's knuckles is looked upon as a high ranking of social status?  Is there
 some place where the more hairs sprouting from one's own finger joints
 actually garners them higher financial and spiritual standing?  Are they
 looked upon as gods?  Do others avert their eyes in the glory of those who
 are the hairy knuckled?  Can they grasp the sheer power of what all this
 means?

        Is shaving the hair on one's knuckles something that a normal person
 would do, or do they generally leave it alone?  I ask this because shaving
 would tend to leave it prickly.  Do they wax or pluck?  Do they use a
 dipilatory?  Are there ancient Chinese secret home remedies for such an
 affliction?  So many options, which to do?

        I cannot help but think that one couldn't be bothered by the
 appearance of knuckle hair, or that it would just slip by like such other
 ordinary hair like arm or ass hair.  However, on the knuckles, such a
 prominent and visible place, leads to the speculation that it may not at all
 be desirable.  And what about those with hair on their SECOND finger joints?
 It's bad enough to have hair on the first half of your finger, but almost
 all the way up to the tip?  Can we allow these freaks of nature to mingle
 with our unsuspecting finger-hair-less children?  What will become of our
 society?  It's sheer madness, balancing delicately on the fringes of chaos.

        I am tired now just thinking about the dangers of knuckle hair and
 what it may pose to our society and others.  Perhaps knuckle-haired people
 should be shipped to faraway and strange lands where hair itself is truly
 appreciated, like France.  Or maybe there's nothing wrong with them, and I'm
 just letting it get to me after not getting nearly enough sleep.

        Goddamn it, knuckle hair just creeps me out.

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  .           anada 117                  by Phairgirl  (c)2000 anada e'zine .
      
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