# anada "Deer In # 238 Headlights" +### +### +#### +### # # # # # # # # # # by # # # ## # # # # # # 16 SlainElf # .# ## # # .# # .# # .# dec *### * # * *### * *### * *### * 2000 .+#################################################################.net and after getting caught, look away quickly. obviously. look busy or stay silent and still. awkwardness passes eventually. try not to look back too soon though. will reset awarity. and hopefully the subject of girls or lack thereof or maybe should say relationships to be more general for those who want to relate or something will cease sooner or later. probably not though. and not just relationships, relating to people in general. so hard sometimes. just relating to friends even. never seems to happen the way i think it should. so eventually, find someone. and why anyway? all taught. not as strong as some philosophers who somehow reached that level or repressed. can wish though. less sadness than madness. keep mind from wandering to that avenue somehow. books? no hope; seeps in through characters or understanding. video games? not a chance; reminder that most (oops there goes that able to relate subject again. sorry) don't partake and even though i don't feel the same about her, laura croft everywhere. guitar? nope; not good enough to be in a band to be noticed, definitely not looking enough to sing. sports? haha. so what then? no vices to distract. So infatuate. all about infatuation. two to three current right now. none of them will ever know though. what good or harm would that cause anyway? don't think could give up as infatuations if tried. even if decision came and boldness. boldness never. end of the world maybe. and if it worked, would be saddened by the loss of the other two. actually all three. one that worked not supposed to be an infatuation anymore. love, whatever that means takes over. causes too much... to much something. so hold on to the infatuations for a ridiculous amount of time. fortunate to actually be longing. .+########################################################################## anada238 by SlainElf (c) 2000 ###################################################################anada.net