╞*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*╞ * __ __ * + _____ ____ ____ ______/ |_____ ____ ___ ______/ |___________ + * \__ \/ \ / __ \/ ___\ __\ \ _ \/ \/ ___\ __/__ \_ __ \ * + / __ \_ | \ /_/ >\__ \| | Y Y \<_> ) | \__ \| |\ ___/| | \/ + * (____ /_| /___ /____ >|__|__|_| /___/__| /___ >|__| \__ \|__| * + \/ \/____/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ + * 05.19.03 angstmonster issue 27 * ╞*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*╞ бedited (poorly) by girб I seriously don't understand that how between gir and I, I'm somehow the creepy disturbing one з+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++бcontentsб++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++з + + + Brief words from gir + + Fear and a Life Lived By It jynx + + A Metaphor oregano + + Fiction is the philosophy of the new age vorstyles + + Cats st0vbold + + i traded my humanity for pumpkin pie tex + + е WINS! gir + + Ch33z-1t's Will + + Earthbound Ghost zhixel + + Rattled off the Tip oregano + + Fair Nazi Policy vorstyles + + This is your Armageddon people and you are willingly embracing it jynx + + Together, gir and estell write well! + + + з+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++бcontentsб++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++з omg hitler just brainwashed a guy!@#@! using his PROPGANDA POWERS SerChiller: argh first contact with some chick on friendster SerChiller: and she's fucking 15 why are we teaching liberalism and conservatism in schools THE WORLD IS NOT BLACK AND WHITE YOU STUPID FUCKS you can't lie to us because we already decided the truth and it's beyond your power zhixel: gay people are the best people zhixel: on earth i am not gir: what about gay people who live other places in the universe zhixel: they all suck kelly ousborne called bob dole a twat in that respect i really believe that it takes one to know one kelly osborne is the penultimate twat if anyone deserves rape it's her NO ONE DESERVES RAPE YOU INSENSITIVE JERK zhixel does Gir just messaged me privately to inform me he is not black --------------- : Brief Words : : from gir : --------------- Today, I have a song for you. The rain brings pain, brings pain, brings pain It makes me not want to sing, sing, sing! THIS DAY LACKS THE BLING, LACKS THE BLING! Actually, my bling, it was stolen by a troll who hides under the tree in the front yard. What he wants with my shiny bling bling, I will never know because ever time I try and talk to him he scurries away behind the big tree in the front yard. Any attempts to follow him fail, because he uses the latest in old tree technology to mask the entrance to his home. So I've decided that in order to get my bling bling back I will have to set a trap. Of course I'm not sure what kind of trap will work against a troll. Before this crafty little guy, I'd never seen a troll before. THEY DIDN'T EXIST TO ME! That's the funny thing about mythical creatures. Until one steals your bling, you don't think twice about them. Then again, if I deny the existence of this troll maybe my bling will return to me since it can not sustain a proper bling bling life in the hands of a creature that doesn't really exist. Once I prove this concept in front of a live audience, I know that I will be able to move on to bigger and better things but until then, I'm just the editor of an ezine. This time around though, said ezine would like to dedicate itself to one very special writer of ours who happens to share a birthday with issue number 27, good ol giraffe herder estell! Come the time you are reading this, estell will be reaching into the big 2 0! All sorts of responsibility will gather around her and the herd of giraffes attempting to weaken their belief that the wobbly horns are for fighting. The "responsible" people among us would have you believe otherwise, but don't be fooled! Giraffes in large numbers can be especially strong and destroy with great wobbly fighting force any sort of evil of the most responsible nature that gets in there way. What I'm trying to say is... / / / / / | (___ ___ ___ ___ (___ ___ (___ (___ ___| ___ | )| )| )| )\ ) | )| | )| | )| )| )\ ) | / |__/||__/ |__/ \_/ |__/ | | |__ | / |__/ |__/| \_/ | | / / / / / ___ ___ (___ ___ ( ( |___)|___ | |___)| | |__ __/ |__ |__ | | - - - If you are anyone you may know is a fan of angstmonster, then take it upon yourself to message estell (tynbyrdblue on aol) and wish her a happy birthday because that would be a very nice thing of you to do for someone who uses all of their power of giraffe herding to keep responsibility evils in check and making the streets of cyberspace safer for us irresponsible kids to play on! ------------------- : Fear and a Life : : Lived By It : : by jynx : ------------------- Contrary to common belief fear itself, as an entity, is not some hideous snarling beast or sum wicked monster lurking in the shadows. It is in fact a charming seductress of unparalleled beauty of which no woman is equal to. It is a known fact that people are more inclined to embrace their fears than confront them head on. Fear is a cushion, a blanket; it keeps you safe and warm. As result fear is like a drug and is hard to release and soon people live their lives for fear and because of fear, fearing things they cannot control and fearing being in control. Fear is a prison, the exit is plain as day right in front of your face and its sunny outside but you were born in this prison and it is all you have ever known, would you walk out the door? Anything restrictive like laws, rules, regulations and policies can all, in one way or another, be retraced to fear. Society has become so dependent on fear that there is a diagnosed condition that is attributed to a fear of fear. How can you possibly be afraid of being afraid, would that mean you would have to do extreme acts to not be afraid or be totally secluded away from anything dangerous? But if your afraid of being afraid your still afraid, aren't you? Totally mind boggling. In saying this I cannot say that I am sum fearless being (even zombies are scared of stuff). I mean look at wombats, their the scariest living things ever. A little ball of muscle that can run fast and has big claws and sharp teeth. (Seriously did you know that if you put your head in their burrow they'll think its collapsing and push up so hard with their ass that your face will be crushed along with your skull. Death by ass not pretty.) Well this is the ramble of a deranged zombified youth and his 3rd person view of your interesting but unusually stupid world. I'm going back underground call me when you've got the courage. MUAHAHAHAhHAHAHAHAHAHHA! *cough cough ahahahahahahhahah *cough awww. -------------- : A Metaphor : : by oregano : -------------- Be sure to tell them that the alligator always eating the spider is better than both: having the alligator and the spider and and having an alligator that has eaten the spider I am obsessed with this thing on the cash register in my local indie music store, it used to be a plastic alligator and it had a giant black spider in its mouth and now the spider is gone and the sales guy said the alligator ate the spider In a way that is like what life is... it is neat to have the spider always in the act of being eaten If I had just a spider side by side with an alligator that is nothing special and an alligator after it ate the spider is just an alligator but an alligator forever in the act of eating a giant spider: that is a metaphor ------------------ : Fiction is : : the philosophy : : of the new age : : by vorstyles : ------------------ There are no bad stories, just bad readers, poor story tellers, and inartistic writers. In this world, we have lost sight of gods, not one, but many... they used to guide, and point the way to enlightenment. Life is a war, not with the ill-famed 'man' or with society, but with ones self. Doubt being a disease, loss of hope being ones downfall... a step back towards childhood. We have turned life into a struggle to survive, breathe, last through time, but at a cost of life. When we realize once again, that life is to be lived, and not stored in jars, then we will attain the lost tradition of happiness. I have found low, and i have been pushed down every time i rose up in this new world mindset, but it isn't bad karma, or a punishment... it is a warning, a sign of a mis-direction. It is time to live, it is time to cast off the ideas of this world, and rediscover those of a past. Thoughts pass through time, unharmed, unscathed, but sometimes forgotten. It is time to find them again. Learn to read... not letters, not words, but thoughts, ideas, old philosophies in a new age, will lead us all to a new one. Many times in history, revolution, reconstruction, rebirth has happened. Society gets to a lull, and starts to kill itself, with disease and famine... now we have reached one again. But we must push through, rise up, cast off this age, and reach for the new plateau. After every storm, is a sun, that seems brighter than before. Bask in it, but don't dawdle, it is time to learn. Thought and reason are our only tools. The artists shall be the survivors this time. They seem lazy dreamers, but they see something that is coming. Smile, and embrace the day. Drain it for all its worth. In that, you shall live forever each passing day. I embrace this new time coming, and i await... nay, i will help create a bright new day. Hoping you all will be there to share in the light. --------------- : Cats : : by st0vbold : --------------- Ahh.. the summer is finally here. For now, that is. And that's why I have decided to take my laptop outside, so I can sit here in a sunny spot in the garden and write this file. Or whatever it's going to end up as. I have no idea whatsoever about what I'm going to write about. The weather? The nature? The mosquito that just bit me? Oh, now I know! I just saw one of my cats sit be the fish pond cleaning its fur, and that's what this file is going to be about. The wonderful life of a cat. Just don't expect it to be very deep or have some kind of point. We all know that cats are great and individual animals, and that's the reason why I never bring my cats inside the house. I want them to stay outside and go about their usual business. Well, that and the fact that they shit all over the place. In the last couple of hours I have just been sitting here watching them do absolutely nothing, which is great. Cats are slackers by nature. They don't have an agenda, a deadline or anything. They just walk around meowing and occasionally just letting their bodies slam to the ground and sleep for a couple of minutes, before they start walking around meowing again. Oh, I wish I were a cat. Not that my current life differs much from that of a cat. I don't really do anything but sleep and eat. It was great for a while but then things started to get boring. No changes. Just sleeping.. If I were a cat it would be excellent, because that really IS their goal in life. To do as little as possible. What's happening right now wouldn't bother me, if I were a cat. But I'm not, so I'm going to move a bit to get away from the ants that just appeared out of nowhere and started crawling up my legs. I just stuck a piece of duct tape on the cats tail. Now a little info. I actually have 4 or 5 cats but that changes along with the weather and the number of stray cats running around here. Right now there are three cats just lying in the grass enjoying the sun and the smell of a fresh mowed lawn. I love living in the countryside. But then again, I don't. There are no people my age around. No shops or anything besides a bakery. BUT! I there are like 20 steps to the nearest forest, and then another 20 steps to the next one. And the sea is only a couple of hundred steps away, so I consider this my private paradise. With cats! Cats make the world go around, as I see it. Who else should eat the mice? The leftovers? The grass? Not me. And cats seem to like licking their own asses. Wouldn't it be great, if we could do the same? I mean, just licking our asses, if we felt like it in the middle of the street. But alas, it's unfortunately impossible, becuse we have our ribs the way we have :( If I someday should have some of my ribs removed, I would be the first person to just lick my ass in public. Just to get other people's reaction. Would people actually mind? If I did it here, they would, but if I did it in Japan, they would probably offer me a role in a million dollar porno flick, which would be sweet. Making money licking my own ass. Could it be any easier? You wouldn't need any kind of education at all. You could just start out licking ass and making big bucks the minute you are able to control your body, which we are at what? 2-3 months? This would totally destroy the image of teen idols. How about 2 month old babies licking ass? How is THAT for a role model? Ass licking babies doesn't really have anything to do with cats, do they? I don't really care, because it seems that now I've written a file. Whoowhoo! ------------------------ : i traded my humanity : : for a pumpkin pie : : by tex : ------------------------ I would like to relate to you the story of my stroke. It was the night of my 63rd birthday. My wife Salsarita had been stewing apples all day for the children and was bone tired from the workout. She waddled into the kitchen, covered with flour and with her hair mussed all about her face, and intoned quietly, "Quisiera un resto pequeёo, por favor." I smiled, completely ignorant of the Spanish language after all these years, and simply gestured back towards the kitchen. She returned the way she had come with a defeated sigh. I sipped on my iced tea and quietly reflected on the years just past. So many heartaches and troubles... and yet, so many victories. Watching my children graduate from college. Seeing my first grandson born. Having a chance to finally retire after all the years of hard work. Indeed, as the sun streamed through the window, casting a fiery glow over the fields of wheat outside in the warm Connecticut afternoon, it sank into me why these were called the golden years. Here before me lay all the rest of my life to achieve the internal peace I had sought so long... it was truly as the denouement of an epic. This was Ulysses, home at last, with time to spend tending to his grape orchards and and nurturing Penelope. So enmeshed was I in personal musings that I scarcely heard the doorbell ring. Richard Jr., his wife Helena, and my grandson Tyler burst into the foyer like a kind of human carnival. Helena's warm ebullience never failed to light up a room. As I took the squirming Tyler into my arms, I called Salsarita out into the foyer to meet them. She smiled to see them looking so healthy and hugged both of the kids. We all chuckled wistfully as Tyler grabbed at a stray wisp of hair dangling past her face. I walked into the kitchen with the toddler and sat him down in his high chair. When I turned to grab a bowl of peaches from the counter, a sensation like God's breath surged through my skull. I stumbled backwards clumsily. This was the oddest thing I'd ever known. Soon both Salsarita and the children had heard my choked gurgling and rushed into the kitchen to help. Apparently, a blood vessel in my brain had burst, flooding my skull with all of the vitality this fluttering heart could force past my neck. Them's the breaks. The End ---------- : е WINS : : by gir : ---------- ее ее As predicted by such great sci-fi classics as Blade е е е е Runner and The Fifth Element, in the future, the е ее е American economy will be run by the Japanese. Like ееее their ancestors the ninja and the samurai, this ееееее attack will be swift and result in many casualties. ееееееее By the time this even takes place, the Japanese ееееееееее will have created advanced ninja robots who will ееееееееееее do their bidding for them. To reinforce their ееееееееееееее success, the Japanese equipped these robots with ееееее ее ееееее various propaganda spreading hats that bear the ееееее WINS ееееее phrase "е WINS!" While none of the Japanese ееееееееееееееееееее business men will comment on plans to market ееееееееееееееееееееее the hat to the public, we think that the ееееееееееееееееееееее symbols stand to show the dominance of the small ееееееееееееееееееееее penises ones over our children's children. How е е || е е did we obtain this information? We traveled into ееееееееееееееееееееее the future hoping to buy the entire collection of ееееееееееееееееееееее South Park on DVD. One can imagine how upset we ееееееееееееееееееееее were when we got to the future and nobody knew what еееее||||||||||еееее a DVD was! Our attempts to find records of DVDS ееееееееееееееееее were unsuccessful as well. In fact, of all the ееееееееееееееее things we did in the future, the only thing worth ееееееее mentioning was how we decided to destroy the ееееееее robotic Japanese army! By we, I mean me. No one ееееееееееееееееееееее else among the angstmonster crowd decided they ееееееееееееееееееееееее would travel back in time with me. Before he ееееееееееееееееееееееееее disappeared forever, ch33z-1t told everyone that I did a really bad job in high school physics and that in order to build a time machine, I should know my physics. However, I commissioned a friend from the future to build this time machine for me and in doing so, had nothing to ____________ worry about. I even helped him gather the parts / \ from remote locations throughout the world. When / \ the machine was finally done, I didn't have much / \ time to act. The Japanese Robot Army knew that I / /\ \ was in the future and they thought I was sent to / / \ / destroy them! / \ \__/ / е WINS! \ "I don't know what you are talking about! I ____/________________\____ came here to get a DVD that's all!" ееееееееееееееееее ееееееееееееееееееее "FOOL! You can not trick us with these made up ееееееееееееееееееееее words! OUR INTELLIGENCE IS BEYOND YOUR ееееееееееееееееееееее COMPREHENSION!" ееееееееееееееееееееее е е || е е "If you are so smart, why do you wear such a silly ееееееееееееееееееееее hat?" ееееееееееееееееееееее ееееееееееееееееееееее "HOW DARE YOU! TO CALL OUR PROPAGANDA HATS SILLY еееее||||||||||еееее IS TO INSULT EVERYTHING WE AS A GREAT EMPIRED HAVE ееееееееееееееееее PROVIDED YOUR PUNY CIVILIZATION WITH!" ееееееееееееееее ееееееее "BUT DOES YOUR HAT TRAVEL THROUGH TIME?! ееееееее ееееееееееееееееееееее The robot paused for a moment before he ееееееееееееееееееееееее answered. ееееееееееееееееееееееееее "No. No it doesn't." "That's what I thought! Your destruction will be by my hands!" At that, I destroyed an entire race of Japanese Samurai Robot Ninjas. As a trophy, I stole one of the е WINS PROPAGANDA HATS and can now be seen in the present time wearing it wherever I go. It's a reminder that no matter how much we want it to be so, the future will not have DVDS... ------------------- : Ch33z-1t's Will : ------------------- The difference between you and me is that you don't have some psycho always down your throat when you don't release a file. Text files shouldn't be aboot pressure, they should be aboot fun and sex. If you can have fun and have sex, then you should write tfiles. This is my will that I give to the angstmonster readers. For my love: I will have my genitalia cut off of me and then stuffed, while erect, to give to you. I also leave you my heart, I want that kept in one of those little jars with windex in it to make it look spooky. For gir: I give you the power to not be such an asshole editor. I also grant you the power of the dumpster gods. I shall speak to them in heaven and have them lay many redback products in the dumpsters you seek. For oregano: I leave you to be the king of the world. You will also be given everything on your wish list which can be found at: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/registry/2WBVMNM73A4T7/ref=cm_aya_wl_wl/104-74 24049-4400741 Please people donate to the oregano foundation for better reading. For everyone else: I have truly enjoyed writing for you all. But the truth of the matter is, if I ever were to meet most of you, not including the ones listed here, I would probably hate you even more than I do now. So that is what I really think of you. Well now that this is over with I guess it is time to pull the trigger. Goodbye cruel world. ---------------------------- : Earthbound Ghost : : A story in many chapters : : by zhixel : ---------------------------- The day that writing died was the day that you could write a novel without ever picking up a pen or laying finger to a typewriter. #1 : NUMBERS ------ >> Martin laid down to bed that night, pulling the halo over his head, full of dreams eager to be released. Some of his dreams might even become best sellers as soon as they hit the net the next morning. He hadn't had a story sell well in six months and could use the credits. It didn't take talent to write a best selling story these days, just an idea or a dream. Computers handled all dirty details, like composition and spelling and prose. Minor nuances that modern creative man had since risen above. Nobody had actually sat down and written a book in at least fifty years. Reflecting on the possibility of his future success, he fell asleep and dreamt. It was the same dream as every night, until he woke up dreaming about numbers. Sweat clung to him like a translucent child to a mother's breast. Drenched to the bone, he forced himself up, abruptly smashing his head onto the halo enclosed above his head. His head was exploding with numbers. Ones and twos at first, but every number exponentially increasing and adding and multiplying. His brain flooded with googols as the waking world blacked out. #2 : PENCIL ------- >> The coffee shop was filled with the sounds of 1930s jazz and swing music. Duke Ellington and Benny Goodman's orchestra flooded the room as Martin staggered in. All the patrons sat silently at their tables, eyes hidden from the real world by reflective goggles, hungrily gathering up information. The latest stories, who's making waves, the global news. In this day and age, however, the idea of global was outdated. Everyone was plugged in, everything was local. You're only a node in a larger network that's called earth. Your home, and everyone lives in the same house. Out of the corner of his eye, Martin noticed something was out of place. There, in the corner, sat a young man. He seemed to be younger than Martin, and simply dressed. That wasn't the odd thing however. This man wasn't wearing any view goggles, and what's more, he was actually writing. Physically putting lead pencil to paper on a roughed up little notebook. Pencils were a hard thing to come by as nobody manufactured them anymore. These days the only place you could possibly find one is in an antiques & oddities store, and even those were worn down to a nub. Yet this scruffy young man was putting thought to paper with a long, marvelous piece of lead. Green and full of bite marks from chewing, but hardly worn down at all. The perfectly sharpened tip spastically jerked over the paper as he quickly scribbled on the pad. Martin realized he'd been staring at the man for at least fifteen seconds, enough to capture anyone's attention, if they'd been watching. Everyone was buried deep in their world of information, and the young man showed no signs of knowing he was being watched. Martin quickly made his way to an open booth, slipped on his goggles and went to work, projecting his thoughts to electronic words, writing down his experience this morning and the sight just a minute ago along with notes on turning it into a bona-fide best selling story. ----------------------- : Rattled off the Tip : : a poem : : by oregano : ----------------------- Falling down through bands of thunder Fifty thousand feet the updraft a ride against gravity but down, as natural tumble three days to reach the top one to fall and fall and then forever add to that the fall -------------------- : Fair Nazi Policy : : by vorstyles : -------------------- So, At a typical ISP, five percent of the users use ninety percent of the resources. To me this is called... SATUATION Hughes Network, the company we've all been stealing DSS from for years, now offers High Speed Internet, with a catch. If you use this High Speed bandwidth, you will be punished. Currently they limit the average user to 168MB in a 4 hour period; roughly 120 kbps. If you hit this limit, you are dropped to less than 56 kbps for around eight to twelve hours. This is being "Fap'd" Sounds simple enough, right? Wrong! Technically you are earning your bandwidth back. It subtracts your throughput during the "Fap" from your allocated 56k equivalent, and calculates how long it would take you to replace in the mystical bandwidth bank the 168MB you borrowed. Soo, after downloading 168MB in 4 hours (ts easier than you'd think... i've hit over 90MB in an hour... soo an hour later... i doin the Fap), you might as well disconnect, cause at minimum its gonna take 6-8 hours, but if you're even viewing webpages at that time, or on irc (yea, you irc whores), you're only extending your punishment. Fair Access Policy? Who considers it fair? Not I. Perhaps Dave does. PS: yes... i know, you're wondering why i use that crap, well... i live in the Fizzucking b00nies. But still, Hughes should suck me off. -------------------------------------- : This is your Armageddon people : : and you are willingly embracing it : : by jynx : -------------------------------------- The ultimate question is of course why are we here what is the meaning of life? Well this is simple to the point of stupidity, we are here in hopes of furthering our species and our evolution by copulating and producing offspring, this is why good looking and rich people get the best women or men. It is shown repeatedly throughout nature that the strongest or most cunning male will always win the females attention and thus this is reflected in our own society. So rather than praising creativity and passion we treasure good looks and physical strength. That is why our civilization is slowly approaching its end. In this backward society brains rather than brawn should be treasured because in the end no amount of physical strength will save our dying society it will instead be the young intellectuals being ridiculed for being smart. The trouble with that is perhaps, because of their treatment, these intellectuals will not bail out mankind and instead will let it come to a painful end like some sick joke of outrageous proportions. It's all rather Darwinian. Now there is no doubt that this is bathed in opinionated bias dribble but deep within your digitized minds and electronic hearts you will realize that this rings true throughout every segment of your short lives. It is a shame that in your prime your are discouraged to achieve some sort of intellectual superiority and instead try to reclaim it when your past your prime. The human life is much like a match, a spark to begin with then brilliant and warm but slowly receding as time goes by and your metal fuel runs out. Human civilization may also be applied to this theory but the question is in what era did it reach its brightness, or has it yet? we can pray it hasn't. For if it has occurred then the possibility of homo-sapien graduating to homo-superior is slim, where it was once considered inevitable. It is sad to know that human beings are willingly contributing to their own demise. So I would like you to know that every healthy intellectual you leave behind for some meat headed muscle bound fool or ditzy busty airhead is another cup of dirt in the already muddy gene pool. Soon it will dry up all together. Is it possible to de-evolve? Perhaps we will one day return to the trees? In my opinion some people probably belong there. So here I am empty with nothing else to write. I contemplate on this and wonder perhaps I wouldn't be if my gene pool was populace with intellect rather than muscle and looks. I am not an anarchist, a go fearer, a cultist, communist, hippy, conformist or liberal I am simply a disgruntled member of a fading society. I like most of the world the way it is, why would I wish it to end? I am instead a realist who has seen the big picture. I write this in hope that the audience will take this to heart and perhaps consider aiming lower on the "popularity" scale and embrace a "nerd" rather than some prissy slut or ape like alpha male. Know that for every one you impregnate or do impregnate will just accelerate your own demise and darken the murky gene pool of man. Note: This was written in angst ( lol how fitting). My long term girlfriend left me for someone I consider lower on the evolutionary chain because of his muscle and looks. Though I still believe my point is justified even though bias. MUAHAHA! Not that it matters for zombies are already dead and your failing society does not harm us. You again a have my third person perspective.. hopefully ill have another chance to give it to you. Ohh yeah I miss ch33z-it's writing! ------------------ : Together, : : gir and estell : : write well : ------------------ Did you know, ladies and gentlemen, that mips in addition to loving their mops, love to eat paper? Paper you say? I think that is completely false. I heard they only ate moths, and even then only on Sunday afternoon. Moths are considered one of the really special meals the mips have. When they aren't mopping, they are hunting moths for these feasts. But in the event that there are no moths to be found, a steady diet of paper will sustain even the hungriest mip! Oh for shame. Did you not know that any animal that eats paper is cursed to anorexia in the next life? I think we should deny the mips their mops for 5 years until they learn the consequences of such ghastly measures The mips belief structure is one where there is no next life, there is only this life. In this life you make the best of what your mop brings you and enjoy ever delicious moth that you might. That is truly unfortunate for the mips then. Because not believing in the next life doesn't stop it from coming. Maybe we should provide the mips extra mops and an alternate to paper in the event that the moths should disappear. As long as we have lights, moths will never dissapear. It's not like people are making too many moth balls Well then I suppose the mips are safe and we don't need to do anythin. But i think that people would like to know more about the mips, that is if we have anything more to say. Well did you know that the mip is a direct cousin of the gip that lives just south of Peru? I seem to remember reading something about that but I've never been south of Peru, so I wouldn't know Gips are friends with the northern llamas which are considered gods. Did you know that llamas are considered gods in Peru? No because in addition to have never been south of Peru, I've never been IN Peru! Well friend you're missing out. Have YOU been to Peru? Er.....yes.....twice on tour TOUR!?! Yes on tour. What tour? My being in Peru is of no importance. YES IT IS! YOU NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT THIS!! Ok fine! I was in Iron Maiden and we went on tour in Peru. That's all, nothing big to tell. I met a llama. It thought it was a god because all the Peruvians worshiped it. It had a big ego though so i wasn't too fond of it. That''s all there is to it. Yeah... big ego... I'm sure you liked THAT! Blink! ццццццццццццццццццц ц ╞fterthought(s) ц цццццццццццццццццaц Angstmonster fights the good fight, we soar to new heights, fuck yeah we always do it right until the last second, no one's ever hesitant before their favorite text editor telling the whole world that it's ok to be a little something out of the ordinary. So what if we ain't packing the heat and our bling got stolen by a tree troll? We still now how to roll into a spot and make things "hot" with a cool crisp touch of sarcastic wit and a smooth layer of fresh bullshit, we're always down for turning frowns into sounds of howling laughter. the end. As the 27th issue of angstmonster comes to a close, remember that in three issues, the greatest angstmonster ever will be released... That's right, HAMSTERS AND LASERS ARE COMING! HOW CAN YOUR PREPARE? WRITE SOMETHING FOR ANGSTMONSTER ABOUT ONE OR THE OTHER (OR BOTH) AND SEE HOW IT GOES! _____ / |\ |\ /\ |\ | \ | | |/ |/ < > |/ | * / |_| | | \/ |\ | * FRIENDS: http://www.bubblemonkey.org/cheesencrackers/ !CHEESENCRACKERS! http://www.neo-comintern.com *THE NEO-COMINTERN* http://www.textscene.com CURRENT TEXTFILE SCENE OTHER THINGS WE DO: http://www.angstmonster.org/txt/turd THE UNDEAD RISE, DAMMIT! http://www.angstmonster.org/txt/il +iMPULSE LAMEALITY+ ?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐?┐? What you have just read was a step into the unknown spontaneous and poorly edited thoughts for sharing collectively known as "Angstmonster." All thoughts on the matter can be sent to or you can just visit the site http://www.angstmonster.org and see what you think. Submissions of all sorts are welcome! Everything from prose and poetry to rants and opinions, creative text art, recipes for yummy food, reviews of stuff, etc. Thanks and enjoy your day... copy-spwep 2003 issue 27 angstmonster.org 05.19.03 Feel free to redistribute this document, although no fee can be charged and the content must not be altered or modified in any way. Unauthorized use of any part of this document is prohibited. All rights reserved. (and stuff)