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                                 `. \ ~-.      .
                                   `.; / ~.    :
                                  .'  ;-- `. .'
                                 ,' ; ~~--'~
                                ;  ;
                               ;   ;
                               `~-~'

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                           BAH - Issue #008
    ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
    ³ Title: "warez kid syndrome"           Author: Stone, Tori Amos    ³
    ³ Date: 06-04-95                                                    ³
    ³                             *BAH*                                 ³
    ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ

  All text included in BAH issues is for educational purposes only. In no
  way do we at BAH endorse whatever actions described in our text files. If
  you can't get access on your local warez boards because of this file,
  don't come crying to us.
                                                [BAH]


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Everyone has seen a warez kid, if they've been modeming for at least a
month. They're everywhere. Their favorite hangouts are warez boards, ansi
boards, and anything with a new user password, which pisses off quite a few
good private NUP board sysops, who find out that once a warez kid get the
NUP to their board, it's posted on every warez board in the area. They have
handles like "Killer Instinct" and "Neurotic Fire". Some of the handles,
however, are normal, so don't judge people like that.

Warez kids hang out in #ansi, #warez1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9, and #sex.
(Note: There *are* some cool people who hang out on these channels as well,
for pure amusement, so don't judge people like that either.)

Warez kids join warez groups. Warez groups never made any sense to either
of us.

But, we're not here to talk about just warez kids. We're talking about the
warez kid syndrome, which can occur in anyone, using a modem or not.

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Signs of Warez Kid Syndrome:

 * draws a LOT of ansi's, like 2 or 3 a day
 * belongs to every warez board in the area
 * posts messages very little
 * when actually posting a message, signs it with his/her handle, followed
 with multiple ansi/warez groups after it
 * calls majorbbs systems
 * likes few people outside their specific ansi/warez groups
 * writes sentences like "dont talk to me aboutt my FUCKING grammer so FUCK
 off". (classic symptom)
 * is hyper a lot (not a very reliable symptom, since many people are
 hyper. but, there's a certain type of agressive hyperness visible in warez
 kid syndrome)
 * calls bbs systems loaded down with ansi
 * calls obv/2 boards (this was added out of pure fact. many obv/2 boards
 are warez/ansi, but many are not as well. no offense intended towards
 obv/2.)
 * follows strange rules when capitalizing, overcapitalizes. examples:
 iNTERnET, InterNet, NewsGroups, TelNet, UNiX, FiLES
 * isn't much fun to talk to (again, not a very reliable symptom)
 * is between the ages of 11-14 (this is very strange, because both of us
 fall in that age group. we're not warez kids. really.)
 * when chatting, always starts arguments when arguments are not needed
 (i.e. believes few people)

Well, you see a warez kid. Great. Now, what to do?

Fun with warez kids:

 * call 1-800-338-PIR8 to report them or their elite warez boards.
 * prank them, saying you're the SPA (you'd be surprised how much
 information you'll get as well)
 * pretend you're the leader of the warez or ansi group the warez kid is
 in (this only works with large groups, not local ones)
 * if you get his info (phone number, address) post it to alt.sex or
 alt.2600
 * give out his phone number on IRC, and if he has a BBS, get the NUP and
 post that as well (pisses them off greatly)
 * call his mother and tell him that you're the SPA, and tell her that he's
 been pirating software

Ways to annoy warez kids:

 * start a big argument on how warez or ansi sucks, and listen to them give
 "good" reasons for pirating games ("It's FREE!")
 * tell them that their ansis suck (this is worse than the previous one)
 * yell at them because of their grammar
 * just start making fun of them
 * call their elite boards and upload the Zork Series, and all of the
 classic Infocom text adventures (very fun, watching the sysop yell at you)


Well, explore warez kid syndrome, and let us know what you find.

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cstone@free.org is the BAH email address. One is expected to start just for
BAH itself. An FTP site is in the works, as well as several distro sites.
We still need writers, so email us an article and get it published in a
BAH!

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