V \ \ \_ \,'.`-. |\ `. `. ( \ `. `-. _,.-:\ \ \ `. `-._ __..--' ,-';/ \ `. `-. `-..___..---' _.--' ,'/ `. `. `-._ __..--' ,' / `. `-_ ``--..'' _.-' ,' `-_ `-.___ __,--' ,' `-.__ `----""" __.-' `--..____..--' Banana Juice Fanzine Issue # 1 October, 2002 http://www.shoecandy.com/~bananajuice/ (c) 2002 ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ------------------------------------------------------------------- Index / Issue # 2 / October 2002 ------------------------------------------------------------------ 1.) Introduction 2.) We Need Help 3.) When I Die... -- A look at the ideal death, and ways to use a dead corpse as a prank. (by CaseyB) 4.) Children Behave (that's what they say when we're together) -- At heart warming column on growing up. (by Kid Ikarrus) 5.) The Den of Creativity... -- Why can't Casey have a room all to his own? (by CaseyB) 6.) Fairies -- Read this eerie story of a girl, an evil farry, and murder! (by B.G.Sims) 7.) the Kinky Horror Film Re-make -- We re-did the names of our favorite horror films to make--The Kinky Horror Film Re-make! (by CaseyB) 8.) Rock On Ninjas! -- Why do Ninjas have to be so cool? (by Jacki V) 9.) Real Ghosts -- True stories from the Chicago-land area. (by CaseyB) 10.) Attack of the Zombie Moms -- The First installment of 'Attack of the Zombie Moms!' (by CaseyB) 11.) Local Bands -- Band Links from around the Illinois Region! ------------------------------------------------------------------- 1.) Introduction by CaseyB ------------------------------------------------------------------ Greetings freaks and ghouls to the second issue of the Banana Juice Fanzine. A special Halloween special for all you freakers out there, but we did seem to fit in a heart warming column by my good friend Kid Ikarrus. To all those who knew, I'm sorry, but yeah... this is coming a day late. Missed it by one god damn day... Okay!! We have more articles by Kid Ikarrus, JackiV, and myself. Also, a rather freaky story by B.G. Sims. In making this issue, I wanted to keep a Halloween theme. I think you will be rather surprised. So, lay back, kick off, and I guess..... BEWARE!!!!!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------- 2.) We Need Help!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------ Banana Juice needs your help! We have a severe lack of funding (being a teenager, and the most worthy thing I own is a bin of pornos), we need your help to keep this thing going. Banana Juice would like to start a cd reviews section for all the underground local music (Chicago area) that we can get. This cause a problem with purchasing the cds--We can not afford them! So, I have come up with two solutions-- 1.) If you see me anywhere, you can hand me the album that you would like to be reviewed. I am at a lot of shoes in the chicago area, so I have included some pictures (here, and here). I will also try to wear a self made banana juice patch somewhere on my apparel, so you can recognize me that way. 2.) If I have put a pay pal sign somewhere on this site, idea number two is already in effect. The idea is that if you like this site, and want to see it grow, you donate money to us. The first thing I would buy is a P.O. box so you could send your stuff to us. Plus, the money will also fund for us to go to shows, equipment, etc. So, in other words, please help us! We are desperate! ------------------------------------------------------------------- 3.) When I die... by CaseyB ------------------------------------------------------------------ When I die..... Lately I've been infatuated with the idea of death, in a completely non suicidal way. It must be the Halloween spirit catching up with me. This recent infatuation has left me thinking of what the ideal death is for myself. To me, only pussys want to die of old age--I want mine to be interesting. It is my hope to make my death the most remembered and/or dramatic that it ruins the mental state of some innocent by-stander. If I can achieve such feats, I believe that my soul will be eternally at rest. If not--where the fuck is the fun in dying? While pondering over the topic of the ideal death, the first thing that came to mind for myself was decapitation. Did you know that the human body can survive without the head for up to four minutes? During French Revolutionary times, after a victim was executed by the guillotine, the heads were placed and taken away in baskets. This was not some sick 'Hannibal Lecture' picnic, this was done to be more humane. The french discovered, by looking into the pupils of the victims, that sometimes, after the head was removed, an image of their body was left in their pupils. This meant that after death, a persons head was still functional, and in fact, could see that their body was disconnected from themselves. I find this to be a great thing. Personally, if I was dying from some chronic disease, I'd ask to be decapitated. Then, I would like someone to throw my head from the roof of a really tall building so I could know what it was like to fall off something. Or, they could put my head in a big bowl of soup. How cool would that be to scare someone with your decapitated, fully functional head in their soup? After thinking up this totally awesome way of dying, I thought to myself--what if I die without knowing it? This could ruin the entire death experience for myself. And, in fact, this could waste a perfectly useful corpse. If indeed this does happen, I have found it necessary to add some demands in my will for when I die. I don't want my body going to waste, I want to put it to good use! I want to pull off some final pranks after I die! The easiest prank, and I believe I have mentioned this before, is to hang the corpse in a Kindergarten room's closet. Then, when those poor kids innocently go to hang their cute little coats up, they will quickly be sent to their local therapists. Another way to have my dead corpse used would be on a local bus or train ride. When a passenger goes to ask a question, or a train conductor asks for tickets, the body will simply fall to the ground, startling all passengers on the transportation vehicle. I may even make the local news with this one! Other options of mine are to throw the body out of a moving vehicle on a busy street, shoving it into a recycle bin on garbage day, sending it down the river during the opening of a new dam, being thrown out of a window during a political protest, halfway buried in an elementary school park, and even thrown in the middle of a mainstream parade. The truth is, I could go on for days trying to think of what to do with my corpse after I die, and what the ideal death would be. But, just a hint to all of my friends reading this--If I die, try to make my death well remembered. I don't want to be remembered as what I eat..... Pussy! (I Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------- 4.) Children Behave (thats what they say when we're together) by Kid Ikarrus (etrican4@yahoo.com) ------------------------------------------------------------------ The human thought process has always boggled my mind. Attention spans, emotions, just anything psychological fascinates me. I'm never going to peruse this interest, because I have a feeling the closer I get to understanding, the less foreign and fascinating everything is. I wish I was still a kid. I started thinking about it the other day when I was baby-sitting. It kind of upset me, because I almost felt like my childhood truly was a waste. I spent a great deal of my time at home, in my room, playing video games. Even as a child I was against t.v, so I spent all my time ironically in front of it playing video games. At first it made me mad, thinking that I had no real memories of my own to cherish of my childhood. But of course, I do, I am human after all. The memories I do have in fact, I cherish more simply because there are so very few real memories. I always smile back at the days when nothing really mattered. Days where over 56 hours, enough time for school, homework, video games, friends, and various other activities. Renting movies and games was like a holiday each time. My parents would always tease me about renting a game, because they wouldn't see me until it was due to be returned. Which was entirely true. Although the ideals of being adult, the more responsibility, more freedom, more of a lot of things are great, it truly will never compete with the purely liberal free caring outlook on life during childhood. I entertained myself for days with toys and action figures. I can only wish life was easy. It takes a lot more to entertain me now-a-days. I have a hard time watching a whole movie now, and movies are my life. I haven't sat down at a video game with the intent to beat it in ages, and practically every game I rent don't get more than an hour of my time. When things are free, I don't feel like I should get my money's worth out of it. I can't just play basketball by myself, I can't just sit on the swings and think about my life. I barely fit on the swings. I miss the thrill of "Ultimate Ping Pong". I miss the feeling I used to get when I sharpened a pencil to that almost impossible point of perfection. I miss the feeling I got when I had that perfect pencil pressed against a snow white blank paper. That first spot, stretched into a letter, into a word, into a story. That first spot stretched into a line into a curve into a picture. All these feelings are lost to me now. My stories always end unfinished and too highly criticized. My pictures never work the way I intend them and so my drawing abilities have suffered because of this preconceived notion. The days in which sledding used to be the highlight of the week are gone to me. The hills, now are so small, the thrill so lacking. I don't ever just play in the snow, play in the park, play in the sandbox, the house fort, the basement. Life's small pleasures have changed. Sinking every finger into a giant ball of play dough is replaced with a feeling of mutual affection for the other gender. Money, lies, deceit, greed alcohol, coffee, drugs, sex, violence: candy, movies, board games, spaghetti o's, sledding, noncompetitive checkers, pajama day, stuffed animals, Gi Joe. Just look at where its all gone, look where all the future children are to go. "If you're not a liberal at 20, you have no heart. If you're not a conservative at 50, you have no brain." I think growing old truly is the greatest of all evils. At a young age, all you care about are those people, those things, those emotions that make you feel so loved, so wonderful. You'd give any sum of money to keep those things, to keep your rights and others from being taken. When you're young money doesn't matter, what matters matters. If that makes any sense. When you start growing older, everything begins to focus on what society has taught you to focus on: you possessions, your money. Life changes from that secure little "playground love" environment to that lover of the mad mad mad mad mad mad mad dog-eat-dog world we know of. Every man for himself, good luck getting anywhere without stepping on someone else. Lord of the Flies pretty much demonstrates my theory. A bunch of kids are trapped out on an island. Their initial intent is good, but disagreements occur, so the kids split up, and one group slowly becomes savages. Are children initially good? Are we all born with a good heart? Is it the long long time of exposure to our long corrupt society, our long darkened heart of a planet, that truly scars the children, making them bitter old adults? Or is it simply events throughout ones life, very stressful events that force one into being evil and careless? Are people even meant to be good at all? Or are we all eventually to evolve into the evil old person? But what ever happened to the days when all you wanted was that big lollipop, but you couldn't get it? You'd spoil your dinner. You grew out of it. Those lollipops gross you out, because your drool ends up all over your hands. That never mattered before, all that mattered was that sucker. I never got that big sucker, and right now I'm coping with the disturbing fact that has finally hit me. I've come to the painful realization that I'll never get that sucker, there truly is no turning back. I'm never going to be a kid again, no matter how much I act it. All you can really do in life is hold on to this crazy roller coaster of change and flow with it, because nothings ever going to be the same. Tomorrow unfortunately is definitely not going to be like today, sorry! I think its hard for us to realize that in our society today, everything is so fast paced one day you're crawling the next day you're going to work. It eventually gets to the point where your adult life has clicked into place (and become so incredibly boring) so much that you just forgot what childhood was truly like. So what better way to refresh those incredible feelings, that wonderful sense of freedom, that feeling of being introduced to an alien world that makes no logical sense at all. That feeling of constant discovery, enthusiasm to learn, to accomplish, to love and be loved. What better way to re experience those feelings than to raise some yourself? After all, there's no way you can lose! Lots of sex, getting a child, who you get to see grow up and do (hopefully) everything you failed to do in your life. The sense of pride of a parent is always a great deal stronger than the sense of accomplishment of the child. I didn't care at all about graduating from grade school or (God help me) getting confirmed. But my parents made a big deal out of them, just because they were proud of me. So truly growing up is one of those paradoxes in life you just can't explain. The true question I want to leave you with: If you had the choice would you never grow up? "Watch how you play!" ------------------------------------------------------------------- 5.) The Den of Creativity... by CaseyB (bananamanc@yahoo.com) ------------------------------------------------------------------ For days I've been clearing out my basement to make it a den of my creativity. A place where I can easily outlet myself to the world. My place of serenity and freedom. In order for my basement to achieve such feats, I had to personalize it towards my style and personal demeanor. I loaded my basement with Cheese Nips, put a small tv down there, brought my porno collection (and some Kleenex), hung some greenery (no, not weed!), and brought my computer down there. It looked perfect, and I was quite impressed with myself (and my slightly feminine design skills). It was my own little Utopia, a place that would now on be referred to as 'Casey Land'. It was great! Though, to all good things there must be an end. While I was admiring the beauty of my accomplishments, my mom came down to see what I was up to. For those of you who don't know my mom, she is the modern day 'Jekyll and Hyde'. Her split personality ranges from the most caring person you will ever meet, to her child hood days as the evil sister from the Black Seed. I nearly fainted when I heard her Tales from the Crypt voice scream at me, "What do you think your doing?!?" I jumped up, looked at her, and started stuttering more than a teenager trying to kick crack. Now, as I am typing this, I am supposed to be cleaning up my 'mess' in the basement. All I wanted was a place where I could write in peace! Sometimes it is hard to feel freedom in such an oppressing world. Or, maybe I am just being the baby that I am! ------------------------------------------------------------------- 6.) Fairies by B.G. Sims (divineblood@hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------ Luisa sat down on the muddy ground. She took out a cigarette from her black leather handbag, lit it and let the nicotine flow through her. Its 3 am, the creatures of the night are wide awake by now. The woods she is in are deserted, as expected, which is perfect for her visitors. Luisa's skinny figure casts a small shadow, as the lantern behind her is nearly out. She put out her cigarette, now she is ready for the summoning of her guests. She stood up and slid off her tight black jeans, pulling down her underwear with them. She undid the buttons on her shirt, revealing her breasts, and she laid down on the floor, legs apart, letting nature embrace her naked soul. The time is right, the conditions have been met.. nows the time... "Angels fly and demons fight, let the dark fairies into my life, and feed on my eternal light". Her body rushed with lust, a pure orgasmic feeling had overwhelmed her, making her rythe and scream at the top of her voice. The feeling subsided, and she was left smiling, gazing at the pure black night sky. "Grendal.." she said, rather out of breath, "are you here?". She sat up a bit, and felt a warm hand on her arm. "Of course Im here my princess" said the man holding her arm. He pulled her up onto her feet, and all of a sudden, she was dressed in a long, gothic black dress. Grendal is about 6 feet in height, his long black hair waving around in the cool breeze. His eyes are a pure black.. like an abyss of misery, sadness and pain. Grendal moved closer to her, "And for what pleasures have I been summoned for on this merciful night my dear?" . Still smiling, Luisa kissed him, then saying "i have a job for you..." she hesitated, not sure if its a good idea to tell him... "Paul Laurence, the teacher at my school, well.." tears began to fall down her face, "he raped me, abused me, and.. and... i need him to die". Grendal embraced Luisa, "I'll give him what he deserves don't you cry over it". Luisa's alarm went off at 7. Too early in her opinion, but school is at 8:45. She walked sleepily into her kitchen, and saw a surprised look on her mothers face. "Im glad your awake honey... i just read in the paper..." her mother took a deep breath, still hardly being able to come to terms with whats happened... "Mr. Laurence has been murdered" . Luisa sat there with a look of amazement on her face, although inside, all she felt is happiness, that he got what was coming to him. But happiness has its price after all. The school is still open, although there will be a memorial service in the school hall to remember him. Him... Mr. Laurence. Luisa closed her eyes and began to recall the events. End of school, the bell rang and the kids were dismissed. Mr. Laurence had names on the board of who had to stay behind. Luisa was one of the three names. She was officially in detention. A normal occurrence for her, as she was loud mouthed and not interested in her exams at all. Mr. Laurence handed out the detention assignments and waiting for 30 minutes while the 3 students completed them. Of course, Luisa was not even prepared to do this, and she sat chewing bubble gum while the other kids worked. 30 minutes was up. "Ok, your dismissed. Luisa, stay for a moment". The kids left, and Luisa, still chewing the bubble gum, looked at Mr. Laurence with cold eyes. She hated him. He was always talking down her, always calling her a pathetic cow and he even humiliated her in front of the whole class when he got the chance too. He slowly walked up to her, and she just stared at him, knowing he was going to say his usual speech about discipline and rules. But this time, he was different. "Luisa... you wont do the mock exams at the rate your going. No exams and no future. You will die without a real way to live your life". She spat out her gum, onto his shirt. He peeled it off and stuck it firmly onto her desk. "What are you going to do... sir?". He smiled, with a grin she had seen before. It was twisted, with hints of a sadistic nature that she had witnessed before. But then, he turned to her, and moved in close to her face. "I can help you, Luisa. But you have to help me. Do you want a life? A future? A's in your exams perhaps?" he said then moving to the side of her head, and whispering in her ear, "I can make that all happen, if you just...". He stopped and moved away from her. He was licking his lips, and the same grin was still smacked across his face. Luisa stood up, and walked over to him. "What the fuck do you want you creep?". Mr. Laurence's expression changed and his face went rigid with anger. he grasped her by both shoulders and shook her, saying while he did it "Give me what I want Luisa!! I'll give you A's on everything" . His left hand began to slip down her arm, onto her hips, and then moved across to the middle of her skirt. "I'll give you what you want" said Luisa with a smile, and she kicked him in the groin, and tried to escape from his grasp. he was strong, and pulled her back from his chest was against he back. He walked over to the doors, still holding onto her, and turning the key in the lock. She looked round and noticed the windows were smoked, so no-one could see out... or into the classroom. He placed one arm tightly around her his fingers slipped down the front of her skirt and into her underwear. He moaned and he felt the flesh inside. She struggled but he only held tighter, and he pushed her onto a desk and pulled down her underwear. A dreadful feeling shot through her, as he violated her essential being. And the rest is history. He's dead, Luisa thought to herself as she walked through the hallway of the school. She went into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. How glad she felt, that Grendal had answered to her wishes as he had before. He wiped away her suffering and fear of people. He turned darkness into light, and filled her with a pure sense of happiness. She must see him again. Hug him and let his strong arms caress her being. She washed her hands and left. She paced quickly down the hallway and past the class she was supposed to be in. After a few minutes of walking, she got to the back exit of the school, and walked out. She climbed through the whole in the wire surrounding the school and she ran as fast as she could, towards the woods. As she got there, she noticed there were far less people than she expected. Not that it mattered, as where she is going, is a place that no-one has ever found before. They call the woods the "Forest on the cliff". The cliff's edge was high, yet had tree's roots hanging out off the edge, as if the tree itself would fall and crash to the rocks below. Luisa walked along the cliff edge, looking out for the small hole in the ground, that marked where she needed to go. She found it, and began to climb down the edge of the cliff. But this, this was no ordinary cliff. On one side, there is sea and sharp rocks below. On the other... there is a safer way down, that leads to cave at the bottom. Luisa had been here many times before. No-one knew of it, as they all considered it was too dangerous to attempt to climb down. Luisa only discovered it one day when she was walking her dog, and slipped off the edge and scrambled down. On that particular side, the cliff is not as steep and sharp as it seems. Luisa reached the bottom and ran through the cave. She ran as fast as she could, following previous markings she had made, as to where she needed to go. As she reached the end, there was a light. She stepped outside of the cave, and she was now in a place no-body had visited ever before. The grass grew wild and the tree's were long dead, but the plant life was beautiful, and the view of a river in the distance was stunning. Louisa did as she had done before. The naturalistic fairy summoning ritual she had once read in a thick black book in the library. After saying the chant and going deep into a state of wonder and calm, Grendal appeared. She got up off the ground, hugged and kissed him as she had done any times before, and then she thanked him. "My princess" he said with a soft, sweet voice "I would do anything to stay by your side. The goodness in your heart gleams like a candle in the dark. Philip Laurence is gone now, I promise you. No-one will ever harm you again" . Luisa smiled and said in a saucy manner "Now... is there anything I can do for you?". She licked her lips, and a sparkle in her eyes made Grendal smile. "Luisa... come with me, into my world. We could stay with each other, without risk of anybody finding us here together". Luisa embraced him and said "No-body knows about this place". "But they will Luisa, in time. Once one person discovers something, its only a matter of time. They're looking for you, Luisa. Your school, they are questioning pupils already". Grendal smiled and continued to hold her in his arms. Luisa sighed, and said "Then let us be together without them" . Nightfall came, and as instructed by Grendal, she returned, in her best clothes and underwear. She brought a bag with her, full of her things, to take with her. In the bag, was make-up, a few spare clothes and the book that first brought them together. As per usual, she did the ritual, and summoned Grendal. He had a gleam in his eyes as she had never seen before. They embraced and he said softly "Your life will change from now on... you are mine now, for all eternity". Luisa smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "Let us begin, said Grendal in a louder voice. He stepped back from her and lifted up his arms, making strange movements, as if to form symbols in the air. He began to say a chant... something she had read in the book before. It was not documented as to what it did, but Luisa didn't care as she just stared in amazement at Grendals good looks and swift movements. A white sphere of light began to form in front of him. It grew bigger, until it was big enough to overwhelm them both. Grendal held out his arm to Luisa, and he pulled her close to him, as they walked straight into it. She felt a wonderful bliss of emotions as they traveled through, into his world. Within a second they were on the other side, and in a huge white room, with a swimming pool, filled with people chatting happily to each other. Grendal lead Luisa into another room. It was small, was a bed and some chairs, and a note left on the pillow. "I have to go for a few minutes" said Grendal, "You stay here, and I will be back to claim my love to you, sweet princess". He left the room, and closed the door. Luisa lay down on the bed, and removed the note from its envelope, and began to read. 'Luisa, you are here with me to stay for all eternity. Enjoy it while it lasts'. As she read this, the room began to change. The gleaming white walls began to melt, and a dark color, nearly black began to show from under them. She anxiously looked round the whole room, and as she did so it shrank. Closing in on her and eating up everything in its path. She closed her eyes and opened them again, trying to believe it was her imagination. But all of a sudden, the room got even darker, and there was no light at all. She could feel the walls closing in on her, caging her like a helpless animal. She reached out with her arm and hit a wall. It had stopped moving, but she trapped in the box that she used to believe was beautiful, but not fallen from grace into darkness. The ceiling was only one inch above her head, and she didn't even have room to stand up, only sit up with her knee's close to her face. She began to cry, and scream out for Grendal, but no-body came. She closed her eyes again, wishing, hoping and preying for it to all end, and to go back to the beauty it was. She unleashed a scream of absolute terror, than seemed to be flattened by the walls of the box. She franticly banged against the walls, hyperventilating, trying to conserve what little air she had left in the box. After 10 minutes of screams and anger, there was silence. A silence that no man could ever describe, that no human could ever withstand. Luisa could not breathe any longer, and she gasped for air several times. Her eyelids grew heavy, and she knew death was waiting for her. She decided to welcome it with open arms.. anything to release herself from this prison of walls and darkness. Her eyes closed. "10 green bottled sitting on the wall... if I push them, they will fall... If i miss them, mine they be, its my time now, just you... and me". Luisa awoke from her deathlike sleep. What was previously the box, was now a room once more. The black walls stained with grime and blood. A single window let a tainted stream of light into the room, but only illuminating the things in its path. The rest of the room remained dark and disturbing. "The black birds that got baked into the pie" said the voice she woke up too, "they committed themselves to the agony of being eaten alive. The cancer that flowed through them, gave them the desire to kill, but the pie, gave them what they always wanted... death". Luisa recognized the voice, but could not place who's it was. She strained her eyes to try and see where she was. She was laying down, on what looked and felt like a bed. It was moist and grungey, much like the walls of the room. She tried to get up, but couldn't. Her back ached and when she attempted to push her self up with her hands, she found herself to be tied up. Legs tied to what looked like bedposts, and arms tied above her head. Beyond the stream of light, she could make out a figure. Tall, but sluggish. Moving back and forth, but never entering the light. She tried to scream, but as if by a mere thought, her mouth was gagged. She struggled, trying to free herself, but there was no hope at all. The figure moved about more, talking to himself as if there were many people in the room with them. He slowly moved forward and into the light. Luisa tried to scream with horror, when she saw the heavily burned face, the ravaged shirt stained with blood, and the hands that once held her down against her will. "Remember me?", said Mr. Laurence's disfigured body. "You know... you never did do that homework assignment I gave you". Now extremely frightened and manic, she twisted and turned her body, trying desperately to free herself from the bonds that held her in place. Mr. Laurence walked over to her, running his hand from her ankles and up into her skirt. The brutal feeling of violation spread over her once more, and she had tears in her eyes. She could not even see him, just feel his vile hand abuse her body like it were a doll. The bed bowed and creaked and he climbed upon her, penetrating her, destroying her being. He undid the gag around her mouth, listening to her scream in emotional agony, and cry helpless tears of fear and utter loathing. "Grendal!!" she screamed, but Mr. Laurence did not seem the least bit disturbed. "YOU PROMISED ME THINGS WOULD CHANGE GRENDAL!! YOU PROMISED ME!!!". And as her last bit of breath was wasted, the room shifted again, going back to the white abyss it was. Grendal stood, smiling, in the corner of the room. "But it did change" he muttered, "I never said you would like it. I just said you will be mine forever... which you WILL BE!!". Luisa, now on the floor, clutching at the cuts on her wrists, caused by the bonds, pulled herself up. She ran over the door, and pulled it with all the strength she could muster. It was shut firmly. "No way in, no way out, my princess". "I am not your princess!!! I never was your princess!!!" she cried. Grendal, still smiling, walked towards her and patted her on the head, as if to mock her suffering. He laughed out loud and the sound echoed and twisted round the room as it shifted back into its dark and gloomy state. Luisa noticed her bag next to her, and she grabbed it and held it close to her, like a security blanket a small child has. "Remember being 6 years old Luisa?". She hesitated, and then nodded. "Remember your daddy's birthday?". The word daddy shot through her like a drill into her spine. "You evil ba-", Grendal cut her short by saying "Evil? me... never... I was always on your side. When the children at school made fun of you, I pushed them out of the second floor window, when your boyfriend cheated on you, I gave him AIDs". He stopped, then, making his voice lower, he said "When your daddy played with your body I was the one, who murdered him". Luisa began to cry and scream as loud as she could. The twisted emotions inside her were contorting her face and making her whole body spasm in hatred. She curled up into a ball on the floor and wept. Each tear a remembrance of her father, her early childhood, her life. Grendal again patted her on the head, but this time she lashed out at him, clawing at his chest and eyes like a wild animal. He grabbed her by the neck and slapped her hard across the face, with the back of his hand, and let her drop to the cold hard floor. "Mr. Laurence is dead because of you, your father is dead, because of you, and your in this world, to repay your debt to existence!!!", then Grendal calmed down a bit, and helped her onto her feet. She walked away from him, calling him a liar under her breath. She picked her bag up off the floor, and the book fell out of it. "What's that?" Grendal said anxiously. He went to grab it, but Luisa clawed at his face. She quickly grabbed the book, and opened it. She went back to the page with the chant Grendal said to summon his world. She read it out loud and Grendal screamed in rage, running towards her, as the sphere of light spread around her. "When the dark fairies want a fight, you must always bid them goodnight". She slammed the book closed, and in an instant, she was flung onto the floor of the forest. Naked and scratched, she lay there, just taking in the fresh air and the feeling of freedom she longed for back in his world. Her bag was with her, by her side. It was torn and stained with the same grime as the evil box she was in. She rummaged through it and took out her lighter. Se held up the book to its flame, and watched as it burned. Black smoke filled the surrounding area... and Luisa knew that the false hero was gone forever. End. ------------------------------------------------------------------- 7.) The Kinky Horror Film Re-make by CaseyB ------------------------------------------------------------------ Today I came across the horror film 'Vampyros Lesbos' by Jesus Franco. To be honest, I was disappointed, but the movie did deliver a good amount of juggers and cleavage. Although, I did expect a little more(if you know what I mean). Even though this movie wasn't everything I expected, I must commend the director on the title. I mean, what better way to stimulate male hormones than with the word 'lesbos' in the movie title. I guess Hollywood does this for so many other horror movies too. Take for instance movies like 'Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers' and 'Idle Hands'. It just makes for good advertisement: Catchy words for horny eyes. So, with this in mind, I have created a list of film names to stimulate the mind, and create new enthusiasm into purchasing already made horror films. I guess I will call this list-- The Kinky Horror Films Re-make 1.) 'Astro Dykes' This is very self explanatory. What is better than a couple of Space Dykes getting it on? (Changed From Astro Zombies) 2.) 'Jason XXX: Vertical Smiles'. I guess if it was an asian flick we could also call it horizontal smiles. (Changed From Jason X) 3.) 'Ginger Snatch'. Who wouldn't want to buy a film named that? (Changed From Ginger Snap) 4.) 'I Watched What You Did Last Night'. Freaky yet stimulating... (Changed from I Know What You Did Last Summer) 5.) 'The Slightly Invisible Man'. For all you horny chicks out there. (Changed From the Invisible Man) 6.) 'It! The Terror From Beyond The Dressing Room'. Mmmm..... Naked Zombie chicks. They might be slightly decayed, but I'm still horney. (Changed From 'It! The Terror From Beyond') 7.) 'Jack the Rapper'. Oh no!! It's Jack the Rapper! (Changed From 'Jack the Ripper') 8.) 'Kiss me, Screw Me, Kill Me'. Just some added incentive. (Changed From 'Kiss Me, Kill Me') 9.) 'What Lies Beneath: The Bedroom Version'. For everyone that likes to have the top during intercourse. (changed from 'What Lies Beneath') 10.) 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre 4: Leatherface - the Fetish'. It's one of those crazy leather fetishes!!! Alright!!! (Changed From 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre 4: Leatherface') Well, that is my list for new and improved names to make horror films seem more interesting. Hopefully Hollywood will catch on and use some of these for the remastered editions of the films. I'm sure they will boost sales! ------------------------------------------------------------------- 8.) Rock On Ninjas! by JackiV ------------------------------------------------------------------ 2002-09-24 - 10:04 p.m. Sorry I haven't written in a while. I've been too busy thinking about NINJAS! NINJAS ROXOR! Let me explain why ninja's roxor: Ninjas are just like regular people but then again, they are totally different from you and me. They get to wear a halloween costume all year round! Some people may mistake them for arabian people but they can chop their heads off if they do. They fight all the time. They chop people's heads off at the drop of a spoon or the open of a window. They totally flip out on everyone and everything. They have babes hanging all over them. They wail on their guitars when they are bored... and DAMN! can they wail! Dude, they even kick their own MOMS in the face! That's how bad ass they are! If anyone has REAL ULTIMATE POWER.... it's a ninja! Ninja's are so brave. They sometimes commit seppuko... in ninja language it means there is nothing to kill so they kill themselves. That has to have a lota guts... to actually kill yourself! Now if you still don't think Ninjas rock then you must have something wrong in the head. You should go commmit seppuko because you are so stupid or a ninja should chop off your head or totally flip outon you or something. It is THAT bad! I LOVE NINJAS AND YOU SHOULD TOO! ROBERT HAMBERGER ROX! ------------------------------------------------------------------- 9.) Real Ghosts by CaseyB (bananamanc@yahoo.com) ------------------------------------------------------------------ The Chicago-land area has a long American history--even the city itself had burned down at one time. The area around Chicago is a long lasting one, dating back to the days of French exploration, and even Native American history. Much of the area has been left unbothered, creating a feeling of a virgin land, most of which might never be developed on (due to the wonderful people that have made most of this area the largest forest preserve in the world, and have maintained it to this day). Yet, with history comes lore, and of course, ghost lore... Many claim that Chicago and its area is one of the most haunted places in the world. With claims to fame of having the most haunted cemeteries in the world (Bachelors Grove Cemetery), and one of the most haunted streets (Archer Avenue), Chicago and it's area has held a much renowned history in the fields of paranormal and ghost lore. ------------------------------------ Bachelors Grove Cemetery ------------------------------------ One of the most haunted sites in the world, and one of Chicago-land's claim to fame, is the legendary Bachelors Grove Cemetery. Located down a mile long dirt road, just off of the Midlothian Turnpike, is a place where many people say that you can spot an apparatus on every visit. The cemetery is surrounded by the Rubio Woods forest preserve. The cemetery was established in 1864. In the past, Bachelors Grove was a lovely site. Families would go to the cemetery and spend days at it's lake and have picnics. The cemetery was then abandoned in 1965, although a handful of burials were performed in the '80s. Bachelors Grove was claimed to be a mobster dumping ground (into the query lake nearby), and later on in it's existence, a satanic worshipping ground. Since then, there have been over 100 reported ghost sitings at the Cemetery. One famous story from the cemetery is about a white house in the distance. Many have seen a white house in the distance. It is a very distinct, gothic looking house, with a fence and playground out front. People who have seen it have walked up to it, as it has gotten smaller and disappeared. Other people have claimed to have come right up to it and have it disappear before their eyes. Though, according to Suburban folklore, anyone who enters the house is never seen again. --------------------- the Candy Man --------------------- We've all seen (or at least most of us), the cinematic masterpiece 'Candy Man' in all of it's horrific glory. But, how many of you knew that it is true ghost lore from the Chicago-land area? Candyman lived on the area that is now the Cabrini Green complex in Chicago. The son of a slave in the 1890s, Candyman was gifted with artistic talent. A prominent townsman recognized his talents and hired him to make a painting of his daughter. Well, shit happened, the two got it on, and Candyman ended up getting her pregnant. This enraged the father, who had Candyman's hand cut off, and his body smeared with honey until he was stung to death. Somehow he lived in a world between life and death, where he appears as a tall, cloaked stalker with a bloody hook. If you say his name (candyman), in a mirror, he will come for you. Or if you don't fear him, he will kill. I don't plan on messing with either (frankly, the story scares the shit out of me). ------------------------------------------- Mary Worh (a.k.a. Bloody Mary) ------------------------------------------- Bet you didn't know that this one started in the Chicago-land area! And, yes, another story that freaks the living shit out of me. As many know, the story of Bloody Mary goes: If you say her name in a mirror three times, she will appear and scratch your face. But, recently, this story has been traced down to Lake Michigan, an area that stretching northward out of Chicago, next to lake Michigan. It was learned from a 90 year old lady, in 1960, who had watched Mary burn on the stake when she was younger. According to tradition back then, the bodies after executed would be buried in nearby St. Patrick's cemetery, which today is the most vandalized cemetery in Lake County. Still, this is denounced, for many believe that in that day and age, a witch would not be buried in a christian ritual. But, a more believed theory is that the Worth house was bought by some Farmers years later. The farmer knew of the history (and of a girl who had committed suicide in there), and yet was not bewildered by the events. As he cleared the front lawn of his new home, there stood a square shaped boulder. The farmer moved it, and used it as a stair by his front door--The rest is history. When this happened, the house took off on it's own. The wife would find herself locked in the barn, plates would crash to the floor, and the farmer had to ask himself the question: Did I accidentally move the actual marker of Mary Worth's grave? Later, the house burned down in 1986, supposedly of arson. Another contractor tried to build a house, but the deal went bankrupt, and what was build burnt down. Later on, another contractor succeeded in building a cluster of homes, but the one closest to the site of Mary Worth burnt down twice. -------------------------- Resurrection Mary -------------------------- Possibly one of the most famous of Chicago-land ghost lore is that of Resurrection Mary. As the story goes: A young man was driving down Archer Avenue when he came across a young woman hitch hiking near Resurrection Cemetery. The man picked up the woman, and they quickly get to talking. Both decided to go dancing at the nearby Willowbrook Ballroom, and had a wonderful night. The man drives the woman home, and leaves her, but quickly realizes that she forgot her sweater in his car. The man returns to the house, to find out from the mother that the girl has been dead for over twenty years. Though, this story is probably not true, certain things are. Resurrection Mary really does exist, and died in a car crash coming home from the Willowbrook Ballroom on Halloween. On Halloween night, Resurrection Mary lures on single men, asking them for rides, having them drop her off at the cemetery, the disappearing as she reaches the entrance. Though, she has not been spotted since the 1980s. * As you can see, the Chicago-land are has many interesting ghost lore, and stories. If you are a Chicagoan, beware--If not, have a nice night's nap! To Be Continued in Issue # 3...... ------------------------------------------------------------------- 10.) Attack of the Zombie Moms (intro and part 1) by CaseyB (bananamanc@yahoo.com) ------------------------------------------------------------------ *********** *********** ***INTRO*** *********** *********** The name is Wes Corpse, and at one point in my life I was just another ordinary seventeen year old teenager, an only child, living in the wonderful city of Bigtown. I had a normal job at the Shop n' Save, a beautiful girlfriend, and my very own car. I had my collection of comic books, a grand selection of punk rock classics, a room to call my own, and had little to complain about. Then, one day, everything changed. I had noticed that my parents were acting quite funny. Both of them would move in unison and speak in a bizarre monotone form of speech. Even more frightening was their seemingly 'stoned' gaze. Every day at midnight, both of my parents would claim to be going to Taco Bell for dinner. Now, if you've ever been to a Taco Bell, and eaten any of their cockroach infested delicacies, you would know something was up. So, I stooped down to the lowest level of my life--That of a stalker. The next day, when my parents were going on their annual Taco Bell munchies run (or so I thought), I quickly got in my beautiful 1980 Ford, and followed them to where they were going. In the beginning, they seemed to live up to everything they had said. We were quickly approaching the local Taco Bell, and I was already starting to dial-up our local substance abuse counselor. Then, I made the big mistake of deciding to go for some Rat Feces Nachos at Taco Bell. I drove up to the drive thru, and waited for the drive thru attendant to take my order. I waited, I waited, and I waited some more. I even got out of the car, kicked the speakers, and tried mooning the camera next to the menu--Still no response! Something was wrong--and If I was smart, I would have realized that the store was closed. But, that was not the case, and I drove up to the empty drive thru window. I knocked on the glass, but no response. I then proceeded to open the drive thru window, and peer in. Still, there was no sign of anyone in the vicinity of the store. So, I jumped in through the window, with the thought of "Free Nachos" on my mind. There is when I saw the disturbing... There stood my parents with the most loathed person imaginable--Mrs. Finkertinkle. Mrs. Finkertinkle is one of those scary fuck christian fanatics that you don't want to mess with. The kind of people that shot Abraham Lincoln's assassinator John Booth--The calvary man who heard a call from god to shoot Mr. Booth, who was also a man who had castrated himself in the name of god. Yes, Mrs. Finkertinkle was a dumb fuck like that. As I stared at the scene in terrified awe (fearing my recently destroyed social status in society), something very surprising happened. Mrs. Finkertinkle took out a large jar of what seemed to be some sort of slug or extremely large worms. There she spoke: "Yes, Mr. and Mrs. Corpse... you have done my bidding well. You have successfully diseased the city's water supply with my potion to put those punk rock diseased kids back where they belong. Yes, once all the parents drink from the water--They will be under my control! Then those damn punk rockers will have to obey their parents. Obey or die!" What the fuck! This had to have been the funniest thing I had ever heard. What was wrong with this crazy fuck? But, once again, I was shocked by her actions. There, Mrs. Finkertinkle opened up the glass jar of her mystery bugs, and held one in her hands. "Yes, my beautiful pets ," she said. " They provide me with much joy. Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Corpse, but your services are no longer needed." She placed the bugs on my parents, and to my horror they started to eat through their skin. Yet, throughout the seemingly painful and torturing event, my parents did not move a muscle. They just stood there, oblivious, as the fiendish bugs chewed threw their skin. I stood there, holding my tears in, as my former parents were consumed to little more than a few piles of flesh on the floor. Why did this have to happen? How insane was this christian, antichrist, fuck? All of a sudden, in my disgust, I accidentally kicked over a mop. It must have startled Mrs. Finkertinkle, because she jumped and looked at me with a sudden sadistic gaze. There I did what any other soul in my position would do.... Run!!!!!!!!!! ********************* ********************* **the Dish Disaster** ********************* ********************* As I arrived at my house, quite distraught, I came across a shadowy figure crouching in the light of the nearby street post. I was very tense about seeing who it was (cautious for it not to be a monster), but was quite happy to realize that it was my good friend Sarah Wanker. I always thought that Sarah was a beautiful girl. In fact, and not to sound egotistical, we looked very much alike, and often were confused as siblings. Both of us were the only children in our family, had bright green eyes, a faint complexion, rigid nose, dark brown hair, dressed in Black jeans, a blue jean jacket with patches of our favorite bands, and brown, worn down combat boots. I think the only noticeable difference is that she wore here hair in a mow hawk while mine was often done in a dead lock. Other than that, it was honestly hard to tell us apart. I instructed Sarah to get into the car, drove off (for I didn't want to go home to an empty house), then proceeded to ask her what was wrong. There she told me the story of her parents going crazy and acting very strange (much in the same fashion as mine had). "All I did was say that I was not going to do the dishes," claimed Sarah in tears. "After that, my dad picked up a butcher knife and threw it towards me, missing my head by mere inches. My mom then went to retrieve the shotgun and started unloading barrels at me. I just ran for my life!" I quickly turned the car and raced towards my house. "What's wrong with them!" screamed Sarah. I told her the story of how my parents were turned to zombies to do the evil bidding of the diabolical Mrs. Finkertinkle, and then how they were reduced to ground beef before my eyes. "Your parents are already dead," I explained to her. "Now we must put their bodies to rest." We arrived at my house, and I led poor Sarah to our shed in back. Here we opened it, and took out the necessary tools to get the job done: An ax, chain saw, shotgun, and a box of shells. "No!!" cried Sarah, "You can't do this!.... they're.... my parents!!." "They're no longer your parents, their minds are gone.... this is the only way," I reassured her. "If there was another route, we'd take it. But, there is none! They must be killed for the safety of everyone." Sarah stared down at her shoes, dreading the idea that I was right. But, what else could be done? I felt awful, but we had to, we had to remove the disease... the disease that Mrs. Finkertinkle had put before us. Me and Sarah proceeded to walk to my car, and load it with our new cargo. We both got in slowly, and set off to do what we both knew needed to be done. The ride was an eerie one at that. A tunnel of trees loomed over the road that led to Sarah's house and the air smelled of early morning dew. We both shook compulsively, for fear of what we were to do, and for fear of our lives. We arrived at Sarah's house, close to 3 A.M. Sarah's front door was kicked out, and the windows were smashed. It looked like an abandoned warehouse, or the scene of a crime. I walked towards the back of my car and opened the trunk. I put a pouch on my back, placed the shot gun in it, put a box of shells in my pocket, and took the ax with my hand. I then removed the chain saw, and handed it to Sarah. "Use this if you are in trouble, I'll be back" "But.... I should go with you..." shrilled Sarah. "This is going to be dirty work, babe--I'll be back in a bit." There I walked, trying to show no sign of weakness as my knees felt like they were ready to collapse. I walked through the damaged door, ready to meet my fate. The room looked like the scene of a poorly done robbery. Papers were scattered, tables were tipped over, lamps were cracked, and it smelled of rotting flesh and dust. In front of me was a thrown open closet door. I slowly walked up to it, and looked in... nothing. All of a sudden, there was a hand on my back. I turned around to see a molding faced, groaning zombie drooling over me. "Hello Beautiful," I exclaimed as I pulled out the shotgun from my back, and sent the zombie flying backwards, half of it's head splattering on the walls nearby. There I grinned at my perfect shot, the zombies brains falling out of it's head. But, to my surprise, the zombie started to pick it's self up. There, it turned around, and spotted Sarah as it ran out after her. Sarah began to scream, as I unloaded my last shells after the zombie--all of them hitting, but none of them killing. I just stood there, fearing the worst-- Sarah Ripped the chain saw on. She swung at the zombie, sending it's head somewhere in the branches of a nearby tree. "How about next time you keep these son of a bitches in the house," sarah said, sounding absolutely thrilled. "I blew off the assholes head, and it still got away from me. What are you going to do?!" Sarah smirked at me, then I turned around and entered the shambled house once more. "One more, one more," I repeated to myself nervously. I turned the corner, pointed my newly loaded gun at the wall, and saw nothing. I kicked over some old newspapers, only to reveal rats--But what would I find under there any ways, a miniature zombie? I slowly walked up the nearby stair case, cautiously looking in every shadow. Every opening in the walls I turned towards, but saw nothing. I walked down the darkened hall nervously, finally coming to an opening in the ceiling where steps were already brought down. I slowly walked up the stairs, cautious of making any noise, for fear of startling any creature that might soon be in my presence. For the most part, the attic was pretty empty. If it were not for a few scattered boxes, the room would be nothing more than a few cobwebs, and a gothic looking window. It seemed as if there was nothing to be worried about, yet as I began to walk down the stairs, a drop of water fell upon my nose. I pointed the gun up as I looked, and was startled as a Zombie Mom jumped at me. The zombie slashed me with her nails, leaving a bloody wound on my face. "Sup, bitch?" I exclaimed, as I released a barrage of shells at the zombie, one connecting around her chin. This sent her stepping backwards, but not counting her out--For she was now flying through the air at me in full force. The zombie mom connected with a striking blow to my face. I responded with a knee to the stomach, as I brought forth my ax, grabbed her arm and cut it off. I quickly whipped my shotgun back up, sending a shell through her head, and making her fall to the floor. I laughed, but the laughs quickly turned to woes as the recently decapitated hand began to become animated and walk up to grasp onto my balls. I yelped in pain as the decapitated hand held on with a gripping force. I tried hitting it against the wall, then I tried humping at a door, banging the hand into the door. Nothing seemed to work! Alas, I picked up a metal ruler, and rubbed it against the hand, until it split open and let go. I quickly retrieved my shotgun (which I had dropped, along with the ax, during the entire fiasco), and blew the hand into pieces. Alas! All was well. No more zombie hand. And no more..... Wait! The zombie!! As this thought filled my mind, the zombie had already rapped it's hands around my neck, obviously trying to strangle me. I took the back of the shot gun, ramming it against the zombie's forehead. There, I kicked up the ax, caught it with one hand, and took off the zombies head in a finishing blow. I proceeded to take the ax and chop the zombie into a million pieces. I didn't want another incident with loose hands or something along those lines. I walked out of the house, and stood for a while in the door way. Sarah looked at me, with my now blood stained rags on, and began to sob. I walked up to her and held her in my arms. "They are gone, their really gone!" Sarah cried. "Yes, but my parents are dead too." "What shall we do now?" "I don't know, but I don't feel like staying her. Let's hit the road, babe." And that was it, we got into the car, and drove off. Drove off as no one else, other than Wes Corpse and Sarah Wanker. Riding with the first victory of the attack of the zombie moms behind us. TO BE CONTINUED.... ------------------------------------------------------------------- 11.) Local Bands (Illinois) ------------------------------------------------------------------ __________ Article 57: __________ * Pop Punk from Joilet! * http://www.article57.com http://www.mp3.com/article57 ______________ the Gunga Dins: ______________ * Hardcore Pop Punk out of Springfield * "Young, poppy, and honest" -- Maximum Rock'n Roll http://www.thegungadins.com http://artists.mp3s.com/artists/248/the_gunga_dins.html ____________ Last In Line: ____________ * Pop Punk From Midlothian * http://www.lastinline.local708.cc/ http://artists.mp3s.com/artists/380/last_in_line3.html ______________________________ Niagara Fell (Formerely the Toxic Crusaders): ______________________________ * Hardcore Punk From Geneva * http://www.niagarafell.com/ http://www.mp3.com/toxiccrusaders/ _______________________ the Replacement Complex: _______________________ * Music From Homer * http://www.trc-music.com/ ************************************************ ************************************************ ** More music in next issue. CD reviews too! ** ************************************************ ************************************************ ____________________________ Check out the Banana Juice website at: http://www.shoecandy.com/~bananajuice/ ---------------------------- Send any comments, suggestions, articles to: bananamanc@yahoo.com *keep in mind, all articles can be published unless said otherwise in e-mail* ---------------------------- Next Issue / September 2002 "Angry Youth, Unite!" ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ V \ \ \_ \,'.`-. |\ `. `. ( \ `. `-. _,.-:\ \ \ `. `-._ __..--' ,-';/ \ `. `-. `-..___..---' _.--' ,'/ `. `. `-._ __..--' ,' / `. `-_ ``--..'' _.-' ,' `-_ `-.___ __,--' ,' `-.__ `----""" __.-' `--..____..--' Banana Juice Fanzine Issue # 2 October, 2002 http://www.shoecandy.com/~bananajuice/ (c) 2002 ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________