Date sent: Tue, 25 Mar 1997 22:16:36 -0500 To: (Recipient list suppressed) From: Colin Barrett Subject: Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine II.11 Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine Volume II, Issue 12, Year AD MCMXCVII Monday, March 25th, 1997 ------------------------------------------- In "The Hunchback of Notre Dame", after Frollo leaves Quasimodo telling him that he is too ugly to go to the festival, he goes outside from the Church's tower and starts singing. When the screen glances downward, you'll see people walking on the streets. Take a good look at the bottom right of the screen before the camera zooms in. See the girl walking while reading a book? That's Belle, from Beauty and the Beast. ------------------------------------------- The motto in Canada: "If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes." ------------------------------------------- 1. Readers' Letters 2. What happened to the ARPANET? 3. Deceive Me 4. Possible Microsoft Releases ------------------------------------------- 1. Readers' Letters A. I give up !!!! Microsoft all is forgiven Date sent: Mon, 17 Mar 1997 20:36:54 -0800 (PST) From: David Welton To: CoN Editorial Subject: Re: Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine II.11 >5. I give up !!!! Microsoft all is forgiven > >From: "Stephanie Foster" >Subject: I give up !!!! Microsoft all is forgiven >Date sent: Mon, 17 Mar 1997 23:11:47 GMT >To: unlisted-recipients:; (no To-header on input) > >Despite all the man pages and pppd chat and uncle tom cobley and >Despite everyone giving me script etc etc my >linux system staunchly refuses to talk to the internet No, it will talk to the internet just fine. You are just not able to configure it correctly. It seems you maybe don't understand how the various programs interact to connect you to the net. It's true that linux isn't for everyone - it requires lots of reading and thinking, and messing with. >say what you like about Microsoft but IT WORKS ! No, it *does not* work:-) In a year of linux use, I have *never* crashed it. Not once. This is how an operating system ought to work. A complete contrast to the all too frequent "blue screen of death" seen with windoze. Not to mention other brilliant M$ ideas like 'cooperative multitasking' (the idea that if everyone just writes perfect code, it will all work nicely together), as opposed to true multitasking in unix. How many hours of uptime have you ever had with windoze? There are plenty of examples of linux boxes with uptimes of 120+ days, and usually these were restarted to perform some upgrade. So, please don't confuse 'easy to use' (mac really has the advantage here though) with 'works'. >Linux just went in the bin !!!!!!!!!!!!! Your loss, although not in a monetary sense, as it is a completely free operating system. No loss to us linuxistas either, as we are by and large in it for the love of a good thing, rather than to get rich like BG and co. David Welton davidw@efn.org davidw@freenet.hut.fi http://www.efn.org/~davidw Se quest'email e` in Italiano, mi dispiace per gli errori:-) FORZA PANTANI! --Linuxista-- ------------------------------------------- 2. What happened to the ARPANET? A. The Year 2000: The End of Computing? A Brief description of the problem Programmers, over the last 30 years have been conserving space and processing time by ignoring the century in dates throughout our computer systems. Because the need was so far out in the future (ha!), they decided it was not worth the effort to change the existing systems to accommodate the problem. As a result, when new systems were developed and the year 2000 was getting closer, the problem seemed to get more dramatic, but not enough to take on the task of correcting it. Now the problem is not just dramatic, it is urgent. The problem, in data processing terms, is the following: 1. Dates are carried as 6 numeric characters ignoring the century. 2. Assumptions are made about the century concerning when to assume the century is the 19th or the 20th. 3. Just changing the size and adding the century will not fix the problem. 4. When dates are used for more than just storing and re-displaying, routines are in place which attempt to solve them. They must also be changed. B. Censorship As reported by USA Today Web Site (CUDigest) , the government of Vietnam has announced that all information coming into the country through the Internet will be censored (with Hanoi controlling who has online access). Vietnamese authorities also plan to limit the gates through which Internet servers in Vietnam are linked to the outside world, with all information entering and leaving the communist country through a government-filtered gateway. The report says Vietnam is looking for ways to allow Internet service, while restricting content. C. Gridlock Several US phone companies are on the verge of succumbing to gridlock. Brown outs and even major system crashes are expected which would leave business and consumers without telephone service. Internet traffic is growing at 10% each month, and the length of the call is crowding telco phone networks. Internet phone calls last an average of 20 minutes, unlike the usual 4 for a voice conversation. Some connections last 6 hours or more. Many companies want to raise their rates in order to maintain and beef up their overloaded networks. Because of low internet costs, and the fact that "Free" long distance calls can be made over the Internet, Telco phone companies are thinking of changing their flat fee rate, to a pay-per-use system. Not only you'd have to pay for the Internet, but also for the time you are connected. Web pages would suddenly lose their popularity because of long loading times. If the Cable companies do take over the Internet, the pressure would be taken off phone companies. But at that point people would not have the need of a second line in their homes, which would mean Telco revenues would decline, and they will have to lobby for increase rates. D. Internet 2 The Internet is falling victim of it's own popularity. Once an obscure system, to which only a few had access (government & universities), now the Internet is at the reach of everyone. The whole thing is now getting bogged down on the weight of it's own success. Those who rely on the Internet for fast communication can no longer do so. Enter Internet 2, a superhigh bandwidth (155 megabits per second or some 10,000 faster then the 14.4 kilobits per second modem) which would allow the transmission of memory intensive multimedia applications, to service Universities and Companies that cannot afford the current instabilities of the net. Internet 2, or CAnet 2 will be available in the Canada and the US sometime this year. The original Internet will be taken over by the Telcos. No prices have been set for CAnet 2. ------------------------------------------- 3. Deceive Me by Valentino Assenza DECEIVE ME Fake thy smile for I see gloom Fake thy sound for I hear doom Fake thy recipe for death Fake thy taking of my breath Fake thy criminal attitude Fake thy radical interlude Fake thy pattern of awkward thought Fake thy story, there is no plot Fake thy grin toward human kind Fake thy chance that you may mind Fake thy place in social change Fake thy toll and rearrange Fake thy love toward myself, Fake thy colour inform thyself Fake thy palace of cursed fate Fake thy opening of thy gate Fake thy life, as it is not lived Fake thy charity, you have nothing to give Fake my conscience, I will believe Fake my dignity, I've been deceived, and so have you........... -- This poem is the property of Valentino Assenza, any attempts of plagerism, or theft are not reccomended. Failire to comply will result in serious injury. ------------------------------------------- 4. Possible Microsoft Releases Microsoft Hellblender: trapped on a different dimension, you find yourself fighting evil appliances, under the control of The Blender. The Blender has gained self awareness, and unless you can find a way to annihilate it, it will churn you to bits. The game requires a certain degree of strategy in avoiding the forks and knifes that fly in your general direction, and diplomacy in convincing your washing machine she is not going to be sold at a garage sale. One wrong move, and all the underwear taken hostage could shrink. Microsoft Quake: it would run on the same engine as Monster Truck Madness, however although you see all these amazing weapons, you can't pick'em up. Worse then that, you can't shoot. In deathmatch you can push people off bridges or against cactus, but for some odd reason they never die. There is a hidden soccer field. Microsoft Cab Simulator: "Where do you want to go today?" With the New York package ("where da fuck ya wanna go today?") with the Statue of Liberty and a perfect reproduction of Manhattan. The Paris add-on ("voules vous arrive` a jour di?") also includes a French-man playing the harmonica sitting beside you, cars parked all over unusual places, and traffic like you've never seen before as you try to squirm through streets made in the 17th century with a 1.1 liter. Models include a Peugeout 504, Citroen Deux Chaveaux and a Renault 4. Microsoft is pleased to announce the acquisition of England(tm), a leading country. England will bring many competitive advantages to Microsoft including the world's leading language, some prime real estate, and a strong military. Microsoft has announced plans to continue offering England's products in America and abroad, with some minor changes to the license terms. These changes include: 1. English(tm) will no longer be made available on a Public Domain basis. All users of English(tm) must register with Microsoft. A trial version of English(tm) will be made available with a limited vocabulary. 2. Crumpets will be promoted as a new industry standard for lunch. all Microsoft products will fully support Crumpets At Work (CAW). 3. Other changes will be announced in the near future. (http://www.microsnot.com) ------------------------------------------- In memory of Father Ross "Padre" Legere. Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine "media you can abuse" Published every monday (or Tuesday) Disclaimer: unintentionally offensive. Comments and Queries welcomed. http://www.capnasty.org Brought to you by C.C.C.P. (Collective Communist Computing Proletariat) Leandro Asnaghi-Nicastro Colin Barrett ZimID 708EC8D1 1994/09/14 EC B0 97 59 1D FE 7C 32 7E 04 2C 66 47 41 FB 7D