|||||||| ||||||| ||||||| || || |||||||| || || || | || || || | ||| ||| || || || || || || || || | | || || || || || || || |||| || | || || ||||| || || || ||| || || || || || || | || || | || || || || || || |||||||| ||||||| |||||| || || |||||||| || || |||||||| |||||||| ||||||| |||||| |||||||| ||||||| || || || || || || || || || | || || || || || || || || || || || |||||| ||| || |||||| || |||| || || || || || || || || ||| || || || || || || || || | || |||||||| |||||||| ||||||| || || |||||||| |||||| I S S U E # 8: J A N U A R Y 1 9 9 6 ============================================================================= DJ Johnson.................Editor (On Valium) Louise Johnson.............Assistant Editor Keeper Of The Debris Jim Andrews................Web Site Editor Brainstormin' Buddy coLeSLaw...................Artist/Mad Scientist - The Cosmik Writers - Jim Andrews..................Urbania (On Vacation) coLeSLAw.....................Record Reviews Drew Feinberg................Drew's Views (On Vacation Too) David Fenigsohn..............Music & Film Steven Leith.................Political & Between Zero & One Steve Marshall...............Music & Record Reviews The Platterpuss..............Record Reviews ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- T A B L E O F C O N T E N T S EDITOR'S NOTES - Welcoming a new writer MATCHBOOK SHANNON: Cuddle-Punk From The Heartland. The Omaha band discusses their unique brand of pop-punk, the delicate balance of school and music and...what the hell "cuddle-punk" is! MAN OR ASTRO-MAN'S TOUR DIARY (pt2) - Let that crazed alien drummer, Birdstuff, take you along for the ride as the band heads west with a new spaceman in tow. MOBILE FIDELITY SOUND LABS: An Audiophile's Dream (pt2) - Steve Marshall takes a look at another batch of releases from the label that makes audiophiles drool. RECORD REVIEWS - Music of all kinds, including a trio of tech CD's, mainstream releases, punk, surf and the new release by this months interviewed band Matchbook Shannon. MOVIE REVIEW - "Leaving Las Vegas" may just take a few statues home this year. David Fenigsohn gives you an overview of a difficult yet excellent film. BOOK REVIEW - "The Riverman." Inside the mind of Ted Bundy as he attempted to help police apprehend The Green River Killer. BETWEEN ZERO AND ONE: The Karma Meter Is Running Out. Steven Leith on the use of military force to prevent genocide. DJ RANTS! - Tying Tongues & Zipping Lips On The Hill. They're at it again in Washington DC...trying to dictate morality and stuff a sock in the Internet's electronic mouth. THE DEBRIS FIELD - Another random scattering of poems, quotes, and basically anything that doesn't fit elsewhere. HOW TO CONTACT US WITHOUT ACTUALLY HAVING TO TOUCH US - Our e-mail addresses. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- EDITOR'S NOTES Happy new year! Welcome to what has been the most difficult issue to "put to bed" yet. I write these notes at 10:30pm on January 5th. 89 minutes before my self-imposed deadline! A deadline I've managed to psych myself into seeing as the most important thing in the entire known universe. Will I make it? Will this issue be cut and pasted together in time to hit the subscription distro-list before the clock strikes 12? And most important...what will happen if it isn't? Nothing, but people with my personality type (obsessive-repulsive) are driven to this kind of behavior. We keep kicking no matter what is thrown in the path, though, and that's probably good. This month, for instance, we have had so much thrown in the path that it became difficult to see anything remotely RESEMBLING a path. I'd tell you what those thrown items were, but I'm trying to keep the ascii version under a meg. The bottom line is...I think it'll make it. Juuuuust under the wire. From now on, though, I've got a new attitude. Cosmik Debris will come out on the 5th of each month...or thereabouts. Okay, what else... We have a new writer to welcome. David Fenigsohn checks in this month with an outstanding review of the film "Leaving Las Vegas." Check it out! I've been wanting movie reviews for a long time, but the last new film I saw was "The Love Bug," so you know I'm not the one to write 'em. David also writes music reviews and features. Look for more from him soon. One last thing to mention... Jim Andrews, our HTML guy (and writer and brainstorming buddy), took a month off from the HTML duties to design a few dozen pages for other folks. He made wonderful templates for me to use so I could do the HTML myself for a month. Despite the templates, I'm damned near worn out from that job, and I have a brand new appreciation for what he does. Thanks, Jimbo. Are ya back yet??? Well, that's about it. Hope you enjoy the first issue of 1996. - Deej ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- MATCHBOOK SHANNON: CUDDLE-PUNK FROM THE HEARTLAND Interview by DJ Johnson Omaha, Nebraska. Not exactly LA or The Big Apple, as a music mecca. But there are some interesting doings there. Records by several Omaha bands are starting to be heard elsewhere in the world. Possibly the most interesting of those bands is Matchbook Shannon, three guys who describe their music as "cuddle-punk." In reality, their music covers a range too broad to label. Sometimes pop, sometimes punk, sometimes psychedelic, but always creative and emotional. As this is being written, many college radio stations are beginning to play their music. Currently living in Iowa City where two of them attend the University of Iowa, Jon Hansen (guitar), Corey Beckman (bass) and Doug Kabourek (drums) took an hour out of their busy schedules to talk about their Landphil Records CD debut, "Sob Stories." * * * * * CD: What's the music scene like in Omaha? Doug: It's getting pretty big, I think. Jon: Yeah, there's some other really cool bands from there. It's really the Lincoln-Omaha scene, because they're only an hour apart. Have you heard Mercy Rule? CD: Oh yeah. Jon: They're from Lincoln. Of course, Matthew Sweet's from Lincoln. And then there's a bunch of cool...more underground bands, like Frontier Trust. They're a very cool band to look for. They just put out a new CD and record. And then Mousetrap's another one from Omaha that could be going places. Doug: There's two other bands that just got signed to other labels...one of them's called Commander Venus and the other ones called Cursive. CD: Would you consider any of these bands your contemporaries, as far as style goes? Doug: I don't know. I think we take parts of a lot of them, like Mousetrap. But I don't know if we're close to...well they're all a lot more punk than we are. Well, Commander's pretty poppy... Jon: I would say if there's anyone we've really drawn from, it would be Mousetrap, because we've known them for a really long time, and they're an influential band around the area. CD: How long have you been playing together? Jon: How long have we been playing together, Corey? Corey: About 5 or 6 years. Jon: Even before that. Probably about 8 or 9 years. And then Doug...we started playing with Doug...coming up on 2 years? Doug: Summer of '94, I guess. CD: A couple of you are in school now [U of Iowa], is that right? Jon: Yeah, Corey and I both are. CD: How hard is it to balance school and the band? Doug: It sucks, man, I'll tell you! All I do is work at Best Western, and I have all this free time and no one else, especially Jon, can ever do anything to practice. It's tough. We could practice about 2 days a week last semester. CD: Do you end up doing your practicing live in front of an audience? Doug: Yeah, a lot of the time. Jon: Sometimes it seems like that, yeah. It's mostly hard with touring. We've managed to get an album out while we're both in school, but it's hard to tour on breaks, because you can't really play college towns because everyone's on break, and that seems like that's kind of where our market is right now, so we can only do 4 day weekend tours and stuff. CD: How much school do you have left? Jon: I'm going to be a senior this year. Corey: Yeah, I'm going to be a junior. CD: This is a really strong album. What happens if it does real well and you have to choose between school and touring? Where are the priorities set? Corey: I'd like to be able to balance the two. I know a lot of bands that are bigger than us do. Like Mercy Rule. They all work 4 days a week and tour on weekends. Doug: I think you guys are pretty much putting school first until you graduate, isn't that kinda what you were thinking, Jon? Jon: Yeah. Like the guys in Frontier Trust, that's what they're doing. Doug: Yeah, and Man Or Astro-Man? Aren't they all in school? Jon: Oh yeah. The first time I saw them play, I talked to them, and that was actually kind of inspiring, because that was when we were just starting to get together, and they're doing these national tours and they're in school. And they worked it out, you know, and I thought, well, we can make this work until we're out of school. Corey: If we could tour and make enough money to support ourselves doing that, I'd take a year off and finish later, but I don't think that we could really do that right now. Jon: Yeah, if Madonna called us and said "let's go on a national tour," I think I'd just take a year off. (laughs) When that happens, we'll worry about it. CD: I think there may be a trend now toward more meaningful songs...Stories in songs as opposed to the more hormonal stuff. Do you think the public is getting bored with the "getting drunk and getting laid" genre? Jon: I'd like to think so. Doug: I hope so. Jon: I always think that people kind of like made this split between the visceral and the intellectual, like you can't be smart and party. I don't think those two have to be seperated, necessarily. It seems to me rock and roll has always picked up on the sex and the drinking. Rock and roll can be about intelligence, too. CD: You describe your music as "Cuddle-Punk." How do you define that? Doug: I saw an article on a band called Crayon, and they called them in this article "Cuddle-Pop," and they were all dressed in bear suits, and I had just written this song "Kare Bear." I go "Well, that's like a cuddle-pop song, you know?" But we're not that poppy on stage...we're a little more punk. But the songs are cuddly, some of them. Some of MINE are. ALL mine are, you know, cuz I did "Not The Same" and "Kare Bear" and...uh..what other song did I write? "Sob Story?" So they're all kinda cuddly...though that one's kinda mean... Jon: Well, they're ALL kinda mean... Doug: But they SOUND cuddly. Jon came up with the Punk part, so it's cuddle-punk. CD: Do you consider some of your music EMO? Like "Rebekah Song." I swear, that song rips me to pieces. And also "Sob Story..." Doug: "Kare Bear" is very emotional for me, and I know "Rebekah" is real emotional for Jon. Jon: Our first album was really emotional, too, I'd say. That label "EMO," I've heard it applied to a very few bands. Doug: I thought he said CHEMO!! (laughs) Jon: Well Doug had that prostate problem a while ago. (laughs) But I've heard that label applied to only a certain number of bands, and it also seems to entail a kind of sound as well as lyrics and the way it's been applied. No one's ever applied it to us...I've never thought to use it, but maybe, I guess, it would work. It does fit, I guess. CD: Are most of your songs written about real life experiences? Doug: All mine are from real life experiences. Corey: Yeah, I guess so... Jon: That, and stuff that I read, I think, is my other influence. CD: Well, with that in mind, I'm curious about a few songs. "Deep End," for example. Who wrote that one? Jon: Well, Corey wrote all that music, and I came up with the lyrics for it, cuz sometimes it'll be like somebody will write something and be stumped on lyrics so somebody else will contribute that, you know. I guess when I write lyrics, a lot of times it'll start with a personal experience -- like that started about this one person I know in Omaha, but by the end of the song I'm thinking kind of more generally. When I sing that song now, I think of it as being kind of a song for scenesters the world over. In Omaha, in the old market, which is like the downtown area, there's this certain Godfather's where everyone goes and sits on the steps, and I go by there and some of the people I used to hang out with when I was 13 still sit there, and I just think "Man, do something with your life!" And I guess I think of the people in front of Godfathers when I sing that...(laughs) Doug: (laughing) That's good, Jon. CD: This one's dedicated to the people sitting in front of Godfathers... Jon: Didn't we say that one time at The Cog? Doug: You had that whole idea for the video...driving down the street by Godfathers. CD: I'm curious about "Lifebeater," too. That's a great lyric... "I could be your personal savior - I could be your personal curse - I could be your daily devotion - Yeah, I'm sure that you could do much worse." Who is that about? Jon: Well, that's actually about...hmm...it's kind of inspired by, um... Doug: (whispering) ...gotta be careful, now... Jon: I know! (laughs) It's a song that..we don't want it to make enemies, but it was kind of inspired by the lead singer of Mousetrap... Doug: ...who is also a big influence on us. Jon: Yeah, and that's kind of like...that song is like a "I'm drawn to you and kind of disgusted by you at the same time" kind of idea. And he's a friend of mine, and he's been an influence on us...and he's also kind of misogynistic and kind of violent. So it's about disagreeing with parts of somebody and being influenced by other parts of him. Pat Buchanan is his name, as a matter of fact...kind of ironic. (laughs) CD: One of the things that's really different about your music is the use of sounds...unusual sounds...chaotic sounds. Like "Sex Wax" is just loaded with them. And the string section behind "Rebekah Song" really cements the song in your memory. How did your practice of doing that develop? Doug: Tell 'im what the "Sex Wax" organ part was SUPPOSED to be like! Corey: How did we come up with that? I don't remember... Jon: Remember? We wanted to get that...Corey wrote "Sex Wax," and we wanted to get that Dr. Dre like analog organ sound, you know? (laughs from all) We couldn't quite get that analog organ sound, so we settle for the Deep Purple organ at the last minute. I don't know, I think a lot of those things come from...we've got a 4-track and we do a lot of tape experimentation. We like to turn things backwards and stuff. Like that string section [Rebekah Song] is actually a sample that's been turned backwards. And actually the whole sound of "Sex Wax" also came from when we did it on the 4-track, we screamed so loud that we completely blew out the 4-track. It was just fuzz on the choruses, and then we got in the studio and we just tried to duplicate that as much as we could. So a lot of that comes from tape experimentation. CD: Did you pretty much have everything done on 4-track and then just go in the studio and use that as a guide? Corey: Yeah, most of it. Jon: Some of the really complicated ones, we couldn't, just because there were so many things going on in the song. Corey: Like "Different." Jon: Yeah, like "Different.." We had no idea how it was going to sound. I had all these ideas in my head, but didn't really know how it was going to work out. And we had a version of "I (Tonic)," but it didn't have all of the samples and the choir in it. Doug: Yeah, actually, the "Tonic" version was just you doing it yourself, playing drums and everything. We never actually did it as a band. Jon: But MOST of them we all worked out on 4-track as much as we could, but usually our harmony parts are complex enough that we can't do it all on 4-track. CD: But by the time you get to the studio, you probably have a pretty good idea of what you want to do. You probably save a lot of money in studio time that way, right? Jon: Yeah, and we needed to because we maximize studio time experimenting, too, like trying to get these things to go backwards. (laughs) Trying to make up these sounds, so we wanted to use as much time as we could for stuff like that, so we definitely wanted to get the songs built before we went in. CD: Sometimes your vocals are off-kilter, sometimes it's an instrument... something always seems to be askew...which brings us back to the sounds again. That seems to be your trademark. Has it always been that way, even on your first album? Doug: Not nearly as much, I would say. Jon: The first album was all 4-track, so we didn't have as much stuff to practice. Doug: I don't think we tried to experiment nearly as much... Corey: Yeah, our first album was pretty straight forward and...kind of twangy, little more mellow. Doug: I wouldn't say we did any of that trademark weirdness. I can't think of a song that had anything like that in it. CD: You mentioned to me before that you don't have a sampler. How does the live show differ from the record because of that. Jon: Well, we've been thinking of having more tape-loops that Doug could operate... Doug: I know I could do that one in "Rebekah," because I don't play it. Jon: As far as string sections and samples go, they usually just get dropped live and we try to make up for it with energy. I think the majority of the music does rest in what we sing and what we play, so a lot of... like "Lifebeater" has that sound because it's in two different keys at once...the guitar solo and the vocals are in two different keys, and we can still do that live. CD: How much overdubbing do you do? Jon: Really very little. I mean, as far as guitar goes, in the studio we doubled guitars just to make it sound fat, but I mean just for the sound quality. Doug: Yeah, the only song we really overdubbed a lot was "Different," at the end, I think. Jon: Yeah, "Different" is like 16 guitars, but generally, like solos and stuff, I just generally don't overdub, because we want to be able to do stuff live. We made some harmonies bigger in the studio, but generally we try to do harmonies that Corey and I can do live. CD: So the three of you basically produced the album yourselves... Jon: Yeah, we were pretty active, I think, in the mixing and everything. CD: The credit on the CD sleeve is to Matt Griffith, but he told me that you did the producing and were just nice enough to list him there. Jon: Well, he gave us all the money, so... Doug: ...gave us the money. He made it happen, in a very real way. Jon: We're very appreciative of Matt. Doug: I think it was mostly AJ (Mogis) in the studio. He was just great. CD: New bands tend to over-produce, I'm sure you're aware of that... Doug: Oh yeah. CD: ...What's great about your CD is it's so sparse. You knew when to lay off and when not to, and then again, "Different" has SLEIGH bells at the end. Were you conciously trying not to over-produce? Doug: I think we were like terrified of reverb, actually. There's this production company in Omaha called Eclipse that seems to put reverb on everything, and as far as I'm concerned, I was just terrified of putting too much reverb on everything. Jon: And Corey and I had had some...like, our other studio experiences were pretty bad. We cut some pretty over-produced records, I think. They were kind of under-over-produced. Those recordings, I think, we almost want to bury. (laughs) CD: I'm curious about "Double Joe," a Simon Joyner tune. I gather from the liner notes that you're all rather fond of him. Jon: Oh, God, yeah! I think he's, like, necessary! He's a fantastic songwriter. Anything by him is fantastic. He's been a big influence on us, I think, lyrically. Within a day, we could probably work up a cover album of him, I imagine. We just know all of his songs. CD: I'd personally say your interpretation of Double Joe is more powerful than the original...just the open looseness of it. Has he heard that? Jon: Yeah, he likes it! He made a comment about how that's almost how he envisioned it, which is what I hear with Simon Joyner. He's a real folk-punk writer. CD: Are you interested in doing some other covers in the future? Jon: Well, we like doing covers...not that we'd wanna be a cover band. We like doing like one cover a show and that's the limit. I think the first cover we worked out was a Go-Go's cover - Our Lips Are Sealed loud as hell...Madonna...and Prince...Cindy Lauper...We pull out really poppy covers because they sound really punk when we do them. If we did punk covers, it wouldn't be as much of a change. CD: You guys seem to have a knack for the two and a half...three minute pop song, while keeping it punky. Corey: Yeah, that's how we like it. I mean, I don't care for really long songs. A lot of the Omaha bands do really short songs. Like Frontier Trust, all their songs are a minute and a half per ditty. Every set they play is usually about a half hour long. Jon: Yeah, you can do it really high energy when you come off that way. What I find, in general, when you write something...the best way to make it better is to trim off the excess rather than pile on more stuff you don't need. CD: You're probably sick to death of this question...but what's the story behind the name Matchbook Shannon? Jon: You wanna go for it, one of you guys? Corey: Go ahead, Doug. Doug: Me? Okay...Well...we were all sitting in a Perkins a couple summers ago when we first formed. We were looking for a name and we couldn't come up with anything good, and... Jon: We were talking about it at the time, too... Doug: Yeah, and the waitress comes over and she hands us a matchbook that she said this girl that was on the phone, she had seen Jon when she came in...she asked the waitress to deliver this matchbook, and it had her name in it. Her name was Shannon, and I guess she wanted Jon to call her. We tried to call her the next day, and stuff, and we kept trying to call her but we could never get ahold of her. And we were just like "Let's call our band Matchbook Shannon, I guess." Because we were looking for a name right then, and we just thought it sounded cool. CD: Did you ever find her? Doug: No, we haven't ever found her. That's why she's so mysterious. Jon: She's actually on the guest list of any show. Doug: I think Corey actually coined that name. CD: Is this album out on Vinyl, or do you have any singles? Jon: No. Corey and I were just talking about that the other day. If we could find someone to put up some vinyl for us, we'd like to have some vinyl pressing out there. CD: Is Landphil not set up for that? Jon: Right now, no. Right now, he's basically poured money into the CD because in a lot of ways, in todays market place, that is the most accessible to the most people. Vinyl is still, you know, the music afficionados. Right now, we have no vinyl. CD: If you were going to put out a single, which songs would you pick? Jon: Actually, we were going to do a 12 song album and then put out "Lifebeater" and "Double Joe." Doug: I guess it was Mike, though...Mike Mogis, AJ's brother, just talked us into it. (laughs) Jon: (laughing) Yeah! The producers just liked "Lifebeater" so much they were like "No, you just gotta put this on the album." CD: Jon, when I talked to you the other day, you mentioned Gertrude Stein, who is an author I know nothing about. You mentioned that she influenced "I (Tonic)." What's the connection? Jon: She was a writer in Paris around 1913, and she was one of those writers who was ahead of her time, and people still don't understand her, kind of like James Joyce, and she's just one of my favorite writers. I think a lot of the things that I read and a lot of literary ideas go into lyric and songwriting ideas, actually. For most people who would pick it up, it just looks almost like gibberish, cuz she wanted to destroy plot. She wanted to destroy subject. And those are kind of the ideas that are going through that song and that also influenced me to try to have it not settle into a single key. The whole idea of questioning the scientific approach to things...that there can be one answer to anything, that maybe everything is really a complex issue of several possible answers. In a sense, that guitar solo kind of sounds like gibberish when you listen to it. If you listen to it, you can hear what's going on. There are two different ideas that are going on, and each one of them makes sense alone. You put them together and it just doesn't. And to me, when I listen to that, that's what I like is that I listen to it and I'm confused. I like finding musical ideas that I don't understand right away. I guess that's what I like about the literature, too. I read it and I think "What was this person possibly thinking?" And then you got to try to figure that out. CD: Well, here comes your standard cliche end-of-the-interview question: What can we expect next from Matchbook Shannon? Corey: Expect us to come play in your town. Jon: We're comin' to your town...We're gonna party ya down...we're an American band. Corey: That's your cliche answer. (laughs) But we just want to tour and support this album the best we can. Doug: I don't think the next thing is gonna be MTV, I can guarantee that. Jon: It's progressing, and it's progressing well. The reviews we've been getting are great, and we've been getting airplay and everything. And we're kind of glad that it's progressing consistantly and relatively slowly. We'd be kind of nervous if we were some big smash hit right away, because those tend to disappear real quick, too. So we're looking to continue to build momentum slowly. Like a rolling stone gathers momentum. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- MAN OR ASTRO-MAN? - USA TOUR DIARY By Birdstuff Last month our readers were treated to a diary of Man Or Astro-Man's European tour, written by the that crazy alien percussion whiz we call Birdstuff. This month, we have one again clocked him over the head and stolen another diary, this one detailing their western USA tour, which was immediately after the European tour. So head to the lobby, pick up you 3-D specs and enjoy another great read. (DJ) * * * * Head West Young Extraterrestrial. With only a few days for our fake human exteriors to recover from the European Tour, we decided to pan for that proverbial tour-collected gold at some 20 venues. Equipped with a new roadie construct, the Branock Device and the new Astro-Utility Outfielder, Dexter X, we were on our way through the space-time continuum once again. The following is a reaccountment of the chords we played and the reasons why we chose them. Tuesday, July 25 Venue: Butchertown Pub City: Louisville, KY The excellent bonus of transferring Main Brain Cell Center Activity to Atlanta is a prevention of the acute "Oh shit, we're going to be yet another hour late because of the time change into the Eastern Time Zone" syndrome. Every show at the beginning of a US tour is an inevitable study in tardiness. We missed our in-store at Ear X-tacy (great place to have one, too!). Late, cramped and with redefined tour positions, we were set to spew the Rocket Sauce. Dexter X really came through like a tried and tested X-Wing Fighter would. Could this be the Space Garnishing that'll send us over the edge? Wednesday, July 26 Venue: Second Story City: Bloomington, IN We arrived early for a "live transmissions on college radio" thing. It was a good broadcasting performance except for CoCo's "I'm not really prepared to speak, so subconsciously my southern accent really cuts through" downer. I actually accused him of being on tour with the Oakridge Boys instead of being that of the Astro-Clan. Fun show, great crowd, and Dex X rocks again. What more could you want? J. Cougar MCamp showing up on his home turf? Well, it was okay; our feelings weren't hurt. What's he done that's been worth dick since the first side of "American Fool" anyway? (I didn't just write that...) Thursday, July 27 Venue: Shank Hall City: Milwaukee, WI We showed up mega-spectacular early at Bill from Rush-Moore Record's house (aptly described as a Taco Bell covered in vines). We slept all day in traditional CoCo "wake me up before the year 2000" zombie mode. Bill was the man: Mexican food, a well-promoted in-store, and Laundry. Those 3 components make for a touring band's own little slice of heaven. Star Crunch bought matching chrome telecaster bodies earlier in the day so the future may hold a rather reflective guitar attack. The show itself was not a very professional procedure, but it was wild. Dexter was rightfully served a crow-eating dosage about his never breaking strings. I still can't believe he plays naked under his space suit. Friday, July 28 Venue: Lounge Ax City: Chicago, IL Chicago is kind of our home away from home planet. Our booking agency, The Billions Corporation, is there and we have tons of earthlings who have been brainwashed into being nice to us centered there. Our friend Scott Williams, who does all our drum head and banner artwork, set up an in-store at Wreckless Records for us. It was more fun than lickin' the old 9-volt. Mr. Dexter X kept getting shocked because his amp wasn't grounded; he's going to have to get used to our extreme voltage intake. The show itself was packed to the hilt with earth types making for a Top Ten heat indexer for us Astro-Hoppers. The show ended with 2 guitars and no bass because of CoCo's mind and string numbing attack! Watch out Jon Spencer! Saturday, July 29 Venue: Club DeWash City: Madison, WI Geezer, this joint was a weird one. It was a hotel, restaurant, bar, gay dance club, live music club, and generally goofy place. After the show I found out that Hot Rod's, the gay club downstairs, was a Jeffery Dahmer hot spot; supposedly the guy we stayed with was friends with the guy who escaped from Dahmer and led to his arrest. Scary stuff - guess there's more than just having the government experimenting on your alien anatomy to worry about. This was an action-packed show, but I'm tired of the 21 and over bull chips. Four kids drove 8 hours to see us play, which is sick enough, but even darker and more sadistic is the fact that we couldn't get them in. How about a 21 and UNDER sometime? Sunday, July 30 Venue: 7th Street Entry City: Minneapolis, MN In Hamburg, Germany we took on Soul Asylum, but tonight we dared an even greater adversary, Van Halen. They were playing across the street from us at the Civic Center, and I'm sure Eddie was fearing the day his path was to inevitably cross that of Star Crunch's, just as the criss-cross lines stretch their way over the body of that fabled Kramer. Dexter's former booking agency is from Minneapolis, so he was forced to hold constant, informal Supernova press conferences. During the show, CoCo pulled some rather convincing Prince imitations. By the way, no Mellencamp in Indiana, and no Artist Formally Known as Prince in Minneapolis. Are we not gauche or what? Anyway, we better have an earth-collapsing show in Moorehead, because as our current motto states: "It's all downhill after Bozeman." Monday, July 31 Venue: The Coffee Club City: Moorehead, MN Our ever-reliable tour compadres, The Galaxy Trio, had a brief attack of the tour itinerary dysfunction so they thought they weren't playing. This, however, did not coincide with the fliers or the knowledge of the club. Their replacement was a film on electrical safety that the Lounge Lizard rigged through the P.A. All the kids actually sat and watched attentively. See the benefit of playing all ages shows? The club was packed again, and CoCo had a fine audience-pleasing performance. He even grabbed a 12-year-old kid and carried him around in "King Kong" fashion. I didn't steal this drum stand I wanted for the new electronic drum pads that I got in Minneapolis. Good Karma should be waiting, otherwise I wish I had that damn stand! Tuesday, August 1 Venue: Filling Station City: Bozeman, MT The twelve hour drive was like being baked inside a nuclear reactor. I can deal with the length of time and the cramped space, but the lack of a shower is unbearable. I felt like a facelift would have yeilded a Domino's pizza. Pee bottles were at maximum capacity by the time we arrived. Both our radio interview and our in-store fell through. After arriving on campus (where we had gone to track down said botched radio interview), Star Crunch and CoCo found the building where the guy who wrote "Zen and the Art of Motorcyle Maintenance" taught English. With the realization that today was a logistical nightmare that made the Chicago postal system seem organized, we headed for the club. The Filling Station was nuts, or rather it really wasn't. It was totally imaginable...It was just the fact that it wasn't something I had ever WANTED to imagine that led me to astonishment. Ever see Patrick Swayze's movie "Roadhouse"? You know the movie where the bartender says to a girl he's fucking in the storage room, "That's right baby, you're goin' to be my regular Saturday night thang."? You know with Jeff Healy playing behind a caged stage. Um...the map says "You are here!" Why did only truck drivers fight in Vietnam? During soundcheck this guy came up to CoCo and said "Look, you're really annoying the fuck out of the patrons. And if you piss off the patrons, then you got a big problem in a bad way." No need for a barroom brawl scene yet, so I called off soundcheck (the P.A. sucked anyway). The clientele for the show completely changed though. A strange mix of mountain-climbing machos and local alternative freaks. The show was wild. Too much so. Girls and guys alike were being beat around like that head-bopping game you find at the mall arcade. You could smell the testosterone in the high altitude air. It was stupid. Dexter ragged on the crowd for its mental affiliation with professional wrestling. We only played 12 songs. Afterwards, everyone (slammers included) said they loved the show. Fuck this scene. I blame Alice in Chains for all this. Honorable mention: John the promoter is a great guy and made us excellent vegetarian tortillas (the only remaining positive feature of this night). Wednesday, August 2 Day Off On the road to Seattle Nyquil helps you get your zeeze, or whatever the jingle is. I slept like a dead, dirty baby. I got to (do you like that optimistic phrasing?) drive through a good portion of Montana. It was simply breath-taking (luckily we had our emergency respirator units available whenever needed). It looked exactly like those Disney "Wilderness Family" movies that I loved as a kid. Well, just seeing the scenery was probably better than growing up in a log cabin faced with a hopelessly uncalled for sequel. Later in the day, we drove through the town where "Twin Peaks" and "Northern Exposure" were filmed. We arrived in Grunge City, U.S.A. (actually I think Seattle is a great place) to shower up at the house of the Lounge Lizard's Kinko's compadre Rosemary. I separated myself from the group so proper space was allowed for everyone to deal with me. I got a really cool book on the band Kraftwerk, and I got a shirt that has the Roger Moore and Chick iron-on but says "Star Fucker" instead of "Moonraker". I love seeing movies by myself...it makes me feel like such a fucking loser. Tonight's pick was "The Net." I thought it was okay - a good story but presented in a mega-boring fashion. Also all I have to say is "To all you internet geeks - get outside and expose yourself to harmful UV radiation dorkoid!" Thursday, August 3 Venue: Crocodile Cafe City: Seattle, WA Our first show here nearly 2 years ago was one of the worst Electronic Catastrophes this side of a transcontinental brown-out. Nothing, absolutely nothing, worked. I punched our rental van and left a dent the size of a grapefruit in the hood. We redeemed ourselves earlier this May with a charged up Pre-Garage Shock show. This was set up for the breaking of our 50/50 chances of success. We arrived and immediately I was sentenced to Drum Hell. My tom heads were completely dead, my snare sounded like a hollow bag of piss, and my drum sticks were more chewed than the edge of a 4th grader's homework looseleaf. Temporarily fixed, by some borrowed goods from the fab men of the Galaxy Trio, I settled for mediocrity. On this tour, most people at the clubs thought my "space dork" kit was electronic anyway. After dinner, CoCo took us to the Mr. Mad Scientists' (Dale Travist) laboratory for a look at the 8 foot Tesla Coil. As always, it was amazing. One million volts, jagged flashes of sharp, purple light, and a sound straight out of the Death Star destruction scene of "Star Wars." This is the most intense the life of a space rocker gets. The show was a great package, The Galaxy Trio put on yet another fine display of great instrumental rock, and the Smugglers were fantastic. The Smugglers have to be one of the funnest live bands inside any space-time continuum! Our show went well; Dexter X was in fine, fine fashion. Then the 10 hours to Portland lay ahead like a distant star system, light years away. The only problem was that our intergalactic vessel was a '82 Chevy Ten van. Friday, August 4 Venue: Satyricon City: Portland, OR We drove straight to Portland after the Seattle show in order to get set into a more organized Astro-Mind Set. Chaos was now set into place almost like CoCo's leaning tower of electronics. We arrived in Portland around 7 a.m. to stay with one of Dexter's friends, Amy. Crash-landing took on a new meaning as the four of us transferred our active roles as aliens into that of zombies. Upon my return to consciousness, I prepared (stretching all necessary bio-servo mechs) to enter town. I had a great indian style buffet lunch while listening to the ramblings of two guys who were talking about running over squirrels in the street. Two fine shops get the Highest Astro-Approval: Poker Face, a retro clothes, skatewear, vespa scooter, hispster paraphenalia store (O.K., maybe I'm biased cause they actually stocked Man or Astro-Man? T's); and Dr. Tongue's 3-D House of Collectible Toys, thanks to whom I became the proud owner of a Quisp Key Chain and a bendable Mr. Peanut figure. Also, Ozone Records, where we did an in-store, was an excellent store with a myriad of 7"'s and fanzines. This pre-show was immensely fun. I was just getting over a cold and I had snot flying everywhere - apologies to anyone looking at the R-Z's in the Used CD rack. The show later that night at the Satyricon was also a thrill-soaked blast of wanton teenage excitement. This girl pulled CoCo out in the audience and literally beat the shit out of him - I'm talking serious bloody nose. It was an absolute riot. After the show, the same girl asked the injured Monkey Wizard if he wanted to have sex. To top it all off, one hit super-legend Tommy Tutone was out checking the sounds from Astro. Saturday, August 5 Venue: Bimbo's 365 Club City: San Francisco, CA This was supposed to be the climax of this tour. Bimbo's was a completely amazing place. Swank reaches a new level with this kind of joint. In the '60s Esquivel was contracted to play here. We got to check out his contract: $5,307 a week, 3 shows a day, 6 muscians, 3 female vocalists, and the slickest sounds this side of the rings of Saturn. We all felt out of place and out-classed, after all we're just 3 whacked space teens who crashed in the great state of Alabama...oh, yeah, I almost forgot about our California via Cynot 3 drifter, Dexter X. The planets must have been in perfect alignment because everything that happened the entire day was not in sync with the normal Man or Astro-Man? logistics (i.e. everything actually went flawlessly). Well, except for CoCo leaving every single sample disk in Portland. We bought all our own CDs at Tower, resampled the intros and prayed that Fed. Ex. would bring us a more permanent cure when we arrived in L.A. Both the in-store and the show went in sync with our world-conquering motives. 1,200+ people ended up coming, and there was a line a block long of people who could not enter the entertainment envelope. I actually felt rather absurd. The whole Man or Astro-Man? project suddenly seemed like a miniscule joke that had infested upon itself and gotten way out of hand. Still, it was great to see Ken Sanderson, Alabama's only true punk rocker; Estrus Head Man Dave Crider; Art Chantry, our main graphic artist, and even Jello Biafra who was still bitching about not being on the guest list. Geeze, shell out some of that "Bedtime for Democracy" royalty cash! Sunday, August 6 Venue: F/X City: San Jose, CA If Man or Astro-Man? was a children's television program this episode would be titled "CoCo's Big Day!" Sonic, a skateboard company in San Jose, were going to have the Man or Astro-Man? decks ready to fly. After hearing 2 1/2 months of monkey-speak, we were finally going to see what CoCo had set into motion. They looked astro-amazing! The Tom Bagely artwork was superb. The club had even made full color posters of the same artwork for the show. The pages of Thrasher were only a few shreds of grip tape away. This was a really great line up. The Hi-Five's, The Mr. T Experience, and of course the Eight-Legged Dork Machine incarnate. The Hi-Five/Mr. T experience was a guaranteed good time in the space suit pocket. Our show was a weird one in any terran terms; the gravity problem was definitely self-evident. On the second to last song, "Nitrous Burnout," my kit completely fell to a wicked death. I finished the last verse with only a hi-hat and a snare. It might not have been a successful audition for the Violent Femmes or Doo Rag, but I think I did as admiral a job as a space private like myself was capable of. We did our "The Who from Outer Space" maneuvers and the stage ended up looking like destroyed clumps of civilization that remain at the end of Missile Command. I guess this was fun, at least the earth patrons of San Jose said it was, but then again, who can trust an earthman? Monday, August 7 Day Off in L.A. Okay, by this time you are probably well aware that the term "Night Drive" is more than just the Atari game where you get to use the paddles. On our way to stay on the beach with Dexter X's friend Steve Waggoner, we had a rather bizarre set of circumstances befall us. A guy in a car with a beagle pulled up and asked, "What are you guys doing?" Dexter X replied, "I don't know. Who are you?" "I'm the police!" The light changes to green and we rocket on our way in bemusement. The next thing we know, two cop cars are pulling us over. We all have to put our hands out the window, and they call Dexter out. Apparently, some one had called in that our Astro-trailer was a trailer that had been stolen. Unfortunately for us, it also looked strange to the fuzzies that our plates were from Alabama, but our driver was from Costa Mesa, where the other trailer had been stolen. I couldn't believe that someone could actually say that we hadn't acquired the Jupiter II on our own hard work. Why, I still remember the day CoCo put the "Repairing Your TV with Savage Teenage Lust" vinyl lettering on her backside. Everything eventually got cleared up and the rest of the day went as smooth as a Californian Protein Drink. Well, Dex did break his toe because of incompetent boogie-boarding. We got to stop by everyone's favorite store (or it would be if you didn't have to give them your phone number and address every fucking time you go) - Radio Shack. Later, we ordered pizza and watched William Peter Blatty's "The 9th Configuration," an amazing film that is now a must-see on the Astro-Tour Film Viewer. Tuesday, August 8 Venue: Jabberjaw City: LA, CA Last year the Man or Astro-Unit?, complete with the Dr. Deleto circuit, played one of our hottest shows ever at Jabberjaw. The club is in a horrible part of town, the ventilation is nil, and the P.A. is fading into nonexistance. So, why is this place so great? The humans that oversee this spot are some of the finest in the known cosmos! Ah, you humans still overcome the lameness of your species if only on a few occasions. With these kinds of shows, I just forget about the quality of sound and what little bit of professionalism I might have. The main objective is to mustard[sic] enough psychotic energy to burn people's hair off their heads. This show was no exception, and it was a complete thrill to make CoCo mad enough to kick over my hi-hat stand after I spit in his face. Supposedly Drew Barrymore came out. If I had known this, I would have surely burned the hair off her head with my heat vision. Wednesday, August 9 Venue: Spaceland City: LA, CA They say that there are so many cellular phone transmissions in the Hollywood area that they travel through people's brains to get to their destinations. This makes about as much sense as anything because LA is the only place weirder than space. Southern Californian traffic makes an asteroid belt look calm and refreshing. Our in-store at Rhino maintained an OK energy status, but was rushed and thus fairly mediocre. The Spaceland Club itself turned out to be somewhat of a disappointment; what we thought was going to look like the Death Star metamorphasized into a rather large LA hipster club/Captain D's. This show was a mess. The P.A. blew and the crowd was completely insane. Star Crunch tight-roped the stage bannister, and the drums got kicked over at least five times. It was either amazing or complete shit. I really wasn't sure. I had a completely solid readout of ambiguity on this one. Mark Mothersbaugh from Devo was out as well as the Cramps. Two of my all time favorite bands, but I was lacking the space balls (not to be confused with the Mel Brooks flick) to meet them. It's hard to face idols whom you've read countless numbers of zine interviews about. This was our most violent night of the tour. It even had closure. Dexter got knocked out by one of CoCo's Astrophonic Speaker Horns before the show, and after it was all over I got pissed at the Lounge Lizard and kicked a TV off a speaker. Birdstuff is the King of Embarrassment once again. Thursday, August 10 Venue: The Casbah City: San Diego, CA No Clash jokes please! The Casbah was a cool little club with lots of notoriety. It was right across from the airport, and it looked like in-coming planes were going to crash into the surrounding buildings. The Hi-Fives were great as always, but Deadbolt, who are on Cargo, were really hilarious. I never was very fond of their records, but the live show was as entertaining as an Alabama Offroad Mud Derby, which, I might add, is one of the world's finest sport spectacles. I thought our show was intense. We finally played Supernova's "Calling Hong Kong" so Dexter could display his goods, and the crowd completely lost logical brian patterns causing Dexter to get a tooth knocked out by a flying mic stand. Okay, maybe I shouldn't have ever made fun of Epitaph for giving their bands a health plan. Major surgery is looking like it's going to be a common experience for extended Astro-Tours. Friday, August 11 Venue: Double Down City: Las Vegas, NV Vegas is the wackiest, tackiest city on this planet. We arrived at 9 in the morning. Louis the Letch, our casino connection and one of the slickest gentlemen on Planet Vegas set us up with rooms at La Concha next to the spot where the Untamed Youth recorded their live album, the El Morocco. Here's the break: CoCo and Dexter ended up out $100 a piece, and Star Crunch up $120. The actual show was completely fucked. There's no way for bands to really play in Vegas so people do indie shows at different venues. The Double Down is definitely a bar and not a club. People were out for blood. Drunk, mad and out of their heads. This was a wild fucking crowd. I mean we could barely play. CoCo was getting leveled like a Jr. High School Offensive Tackle going up against the entire Pittsburg Stealers defensive line. Additionally, the place's wiring was fucked. Star Crunch got such a jolt that he blacked out and fell on a TV. We had to quit after 10 songs because someone was literally going to get killed. After the show the testosterone continued to flow like Niagra. "Let's prove our stupidity through violence" reigned as a guy popped another guy in the face with a glass bottle. The guy was screaming and bleeding like shit all over the asphalt. His face was going to be scarred for life. Flashing ambulance lights replaced the accustomed stage lights as everyone headed back to the casinos. Was this primitive ritual really fun? I'm into punk energy, but these Thundar and his Barbarians show goers will be annihilated when our invasion is completed. Saturday, August 12 Live Radio Broadcast Day in Tucson, AZ We escaped Vegas and Area 51, but our live Radio Broadcast in Tucson turned out to be a phoned-in sentence five miles outside of the Hoover Dam area. Our Earth Ground Transport Vehicle faltered, but with fate on our side we soon got back in sync, if only in a mechanical sense. The Hoover Dam was completely phenomenal in itself. The guide book said that with all the concrete used to build it you could make a passageway 5 feet across all the way from the North Pole to the South Pole. By coincidence, we met up with tour mates The Hi-Fives at the dam. Crossing the Mojave and surrounding desert plains, we headed for Phoenix, Arizona and the home of Eastside Records and Entertainment King, Ben Wood. Ben has an amazing Tiki Room and an equally great collection of Robert Williams, Coop, etc. artwork. Finally, we headed off to our robot dream states with our alien bellies full compliments of an earth cheese pizza. Sunday, August 13 Venue: Boston's City: Phoenix, AZ Ben Wood is probably the nicest gent that we have had the pleasure of examining. No alien abduction here; Ben will be one of the few that we spare at the cosmic time of inevitable annihilation. Ben runs Eastside Records in Phoenix which is a complete archetype of what an independent record store should be. Super recently Eastside has also started putting out vinyl. Man or Astro-Man?'s "Needles in the Cosmic Haystack" 7" being the impetus of their new endeavor. The in-store at Eastside was jam-packed with terrans ready to be blasted with that Astrophonic sound. This was really excellent: Star Crunch amazed onlookers by doing the noise section of "Nitrous..." by sliding used CDs up and down the fret board. After the in-store we got to see the Neil Young film "Human Highway" starring Devo. Fairly novel stuff, but can you say "1982"? Boston's, the chosen area for tonight's Astro-Incursion, was a weird place with a stage that was half indoors and half outdoors. The audience could stand on either side. With my well-known affinity for all that is backwards, I had to find a solution for the rearview on-lookers. Tonight the other three Astro-Men did it "for the kids up front," while I pleased the alternate universe crowd with my drum mechanizations. I actually had the bigger audience. The show went well. It was another riot ensuing crowd. One guy jumped on stage, unplugged Star Crunch's amp and bit my cymbal. I never thought the taste of brass was very palatable, but hey, I'm from space. Monday, August 14 Venue: Golden West City: Alburquerque, NM We had a strange drive on the way to Albuquerque. On the scary side of things, the van stalled right after one of those "Federal Prison Institution/Do not pick up hitchhikers" signs. Luckily, we re-ignited the retros before any thumbs became visible. However, on a more desirable circuit, we were able to check out the meteor site just outside Flagstaff, AZ. It was downright awe-inspiring . To think of something that size with that velocity striking the earth from space is just completely astounding. The crater is so large that 20 football games could be played simultaneously within its rim. In Albuquerque, our in-store at Dropout Records was completed to our working formula's satisfaction. Brief X energetic = happy crowd + happy Astro-Men. We couldn't see the National Atomic Museum because we did not have our insurance papers for the van, thus, we were unable to be a registered vehicle on the military base in which the museum is located. Space Poop! The club was located on Historic Route 66, and because of the installation of a new P.A. system we got a chance to walk around. What's this? Taco Bell closed at 7 p.m.? No running to the border was possible here. It was CoCo's earth birthday, so the Hi-Fives hit him with a birthday tune during their set while us Astro-Men handled cake duties. Our actual performance was rather tame. Possibly fortunately for us, we played in the dark. The sound guy never turned the lights on, so if you didn't have a pair of infrared goggles on, all you had was the dim light of the film projector to see four dorky Astro-figures by. Tuesday, August 15 Venue: Mercury Cafe City: Denver, CO This day was crammed into the waste module with all kinds of space gobble so try to hang on tightly. We landed in Colorado Springs at about 10 a.m. to complete CoCo's Tesla pilgrimage. The "Tesla Museum" was in absolute disarray. Half of the displays weren't completely up and the main show room resembled the interior of a shop class more than it did a museum. It is in honorable defense that the place is voluntarily run and the staff on hand were beyond informative and nice. The "tour" wasn't until 2 p.m., so we scoured the town for nifty thrift stores. Dexter snagged a farfisa compact organ for an even 100 smackers, and Star Crunch got a cheesy guitar/drum sample pedal that made some truly bizarre noises like all the freaked moog hits found on the Devo Hardcore stuff. The Tesla Tour was fascinating. We were shown an instructive video and then a guide did various experiments with a Jacob's Ladder and numerous Tesla coils. It's really amazing the technology that the world was provided with through the genius of Tesla: neon, x-rays, radio, alternating current, lasers, remote controls, robotics, radar - the 20th century would still be hanging on the apron strings of the industrial revolution if not for Nikola Tesla. Also, it is downright terrifying the simplistic technology that the government keeps from us for corporate profit or other devious gains. At the Mercury Cafe, we had dinner and somehow got entangled in the theory of "ebbing originality and creativity due to the emperical finite possibilities of current modern instrument line up and sound capability." Basically, everyone disagreed completely. The audience was hooked to the core on that all-ages energy tip. It was reanimating to my robot soul. Kids going wild without beating each other's cranium in or acting like they're in a Stone Temple Pilots video. The show was a stimulatingly good time. I got to climb in the rafters during the set, went back into a storage attic, and came back with a full-size moose head. After the inevitable destaging, we hung out with Brian from Weezer, who had played a show in town earlier. He was a super friendly guy and we almost stayed in Weezer's hotel rooms because they were leaving at 1 a.m. for Phoenix, but we met a fine gentleman also named Brian who let us crash at his place. Hotels are generally lame for a small touring band. You dish out $50 of your hard, space-sweated moula to have some insane maid wake-up ceremony at 10 in the morning. Fuck that earthly concept. I'd much rather stay with a cordial earth inhabitant. You get turned on to new bands, comics, movies, certifiably deranged local characters, and all kinds of new general philosophies. The final score of the night was the "Almighty Robotic Horn Blowing Gutiar Unit" that Dexter X scored from the rafters. Someone had attached two bicycle horns together, added about a dozen loopy knobs, and pulled out the wired interior of this old guitar to make the aforementioned device. Hey, but here's the strangest kick in the proverbial space booty - it actually worked! Astro-Luck on foreign worlds...nothing like it in the cosmos. Wednesday, August 16 Beautiful Day Off in Denver, CO Rest and relaxation on planet Earth. Today's occurrences were happily uneventful. Our host, Brian, was going way beyond the "mi casa, su casa" customs. We went to the "Breakfast King" to do an interview during which CoCo ecstatically declared it "The Quest for the Ultimate Pancake Sandwich." Unable to find an ultra-sonic dirt blaster we once again washed laundry in typical earth coin-op fashion. After a cleaning of the space suits, supplies were retrieved from Star Crunch's favorite outlet: Wal-Mart. We decided to make the cinematic death wish of seeing "Waterworld" come true. What's worse is that everyone got the student discount of $3.75 except for me, Mr. Forget to Ask for the Discount So Get Popped for $5.75 for One of the Worst Movies of Any Dimension. I really tried hard to appreciate this film, but it just bit like a giant celluloid stink patty. It touched on some decent, heady environmental issues, but then had these boring 15 minute "Road Warrior" on Jet Skiis rip-off action scenes. Back at Brian's we went through the normal Astro-departure procedure, 94-CX-2, including the idiot check. When we got on the road around midnight to head for Lawrence, KS everyone was honking their horns at us. The question of whether or not anyone remembered to shut and lock the trailer door was posed. Indeed it was as wide open as an Astro-patron's mouth right before chomping down on a Little Debbie. Fortunately, we packed that sucker so tight that nothing fell out. Why do an idiot check when the band is completely full of them? Thursday, August 17 Venue: Bottleneck's City: Lawrence, KS Okay, okay our D.I.Y. mode finally broke! 10:00 a.m. in Lawrence, KS - no way we were going to spend all day in a parking lot: Ramada Inn here we come! Pool side in top style, Astro-Luxury is as high society as can be imagined. Last year at the same space occupation unit, we had a great show while on our tour with Southern Culture on the Skids. For some inexplicable reason we had an enormous payload of interviews. We even did an interview for a Spanish magazine. Let me relay to you that my two years of Spanish that I had learned in a primitive Earth Education Institution served me nothing more than a plateful of humiliation. The show sold out and proved to be one of the most affable that we had all tour. For the Astro-Hardware Instrument Systems this was an extremely taxing night. Dexter smashed 1 1/2 guitars, Star Crunch kicked in a TV screen, and I personally tested the aerodynamic properties of my interstellar drum module. Also, we annihilated the back lighting and ceiling tile above the stage. So maybe we get docked for our juvenile space treachery, it was fun. My personal highlight was seeing Star Crunch scrap with a crowd member for one of my drumsticks. They were rolling all over the stage in the attempt to possess that prized Birdstuff souvenir. Small, yet cunning and adaptable, Star Crunch soon won out over his large, but technically undermatched earth adversary. At the end of the night the guys from Better Than Ezra came up to us. They were playing the next night in Lawrence, but had flown in early just to see the show. Actually, they used to open for us in Atlanta. Alas, those seemed to be the days of old as Dexter asked, "Hey, aren't you guys rock stars?" After the show at the hotel our key wouldn't work and there was "mystery hair," a cockroach, and a cricket in the bathroom. What was I blabbing about Astro-Luxury earlier? Friday, August 18 Venue: Cicero's City: St. Louis, MO Update: The "Almighty Robotic Horn Blowing Guitar Unit" has recently been bungeed and chain locked to the front of the van as a hood ornament. Dexter has refused to ever play it because of the myriad of bug intestines now enmassed on its surface. We did a rather enjoyable phone interveiw with a magazine in Orlando, FL. We have switched labels from the Estrus satellite to the Touch and Go Planet. When asked why we didn't consider any major labels, I relayed that we already made our own nuclear weapons, tested on animals (including humans), and harmed the environment in ways that earth scientists would never be able to calculate, so what could a major label possibly be able to offer us that we don't already possess, control or plan to conquer? Needless to say, we decided to continue to do E.P.s with Estrus but simply felt that Touch and Go was a solid, beneficial, honest place to coincide with our new "Tour Till You Drop" schedule. Tonight's show at Cicero's was with hometown mutant friends, The Quadrajets, which of course features the unbridled guitar debauchery of former Astro-Man, Captain Zeno. They're great guys in a great band (strange duality for these days, eh?) and they use more oil in their hair than that spilled by the Exxon-Valdez. A certain respect factor is thusly due. All said, we made the moronic decision of going to see They Might Be Giants at another venue instead of hanging around to see the 'Jets. They Might Be Giants are nothing but a completely dulled, blase parody of their prior, amazing selves. What ever happened to two nerdy, New England guys running around with a marching bass drum, an accordion, guitar and drum machine? The backing band had that uninterested, coked-out, glazed, "male porno star" look about them. It just completely sucked. I threw my gum at the bass player. In the immortal words of CoCo, "This is worse than "Waterworld"!" Back at Cicero's, the show was hotter than a Martian s'mores cookout and the show was a lot of fun. I'm being Captain Obvious. Isn't that every show? We left right afterwards for Nashville to stay with Star Crunch's cloned older sibling entity. On the way, this guy studied our trailer briefly then walked to his van and pulled out a CD. He then asked CoCo, "Is this you guys?" Well, well, what's that? "Destroy All Astro-Men!"? Our disease has seeped into mini-vans! Now that's an accomplishment! He asked if we would sign the CD for him. "Only if you sign something of ours first!" Saturday, August 19 Venue: The Mercury Theatre City: Knoxville, TN Back in the Southland! It made me feel that good ole space alien inbred vibe that I had been missin' on that durn new agey West Coast. The Branock Device and I spent the day coming up with new and twisted drum configurations. We were completely destroying the stale thinking that provides normal drum didones with standardized kit set ups. Nanotechnology is the new emphasis. Only Earthmen with micro-penises need a big drum set to equalize their egos. Come on, Carmen Appice, Jr., do you really need 7 crash cymbols? I'm going to blow that sucker away with the Astro-Shrinking Ray! One possibility was using a trigger that is secured to the stage itself as the kickdrum. The bass pedal would actually travel all the way to the floor hitting the unseen trigger. The illusion of a drum set, set up with a completely invisible, or more accurately, nonexistent bass drum. Silly? Maybe, but our advanced minds must keep themselves entertained. This led to discussions into new live shows. We collectively came up with the "Maximum Efficiency, Video Buddy System, Live Musical Experimentation" tour. Basically, each member would tour by himself with the other 3 members being represented by a "video-generated stand-in." This would allow us to still have a live element to the show, but at the same time allow us to play in four cities at one time. The ultimate in Low Budget Mass Media Marketing! Who needs Kraftwerk's expensive servo mechanisms, and hired computer automators when somebody's folks own a video camera? Hey wait, wasn't there something about a show played in Knoxville, TN in here? Okay, enough of our inane Astro-Futures. At the Mercury Theatre we were as tight as the artificial straps we secure our earth experimentees with. The crowd was an aggressive Little Debbie-throwing bunch. It's always great sitting behind my drum fortification and getting to watch CoCo being brutally pelted with Nutty Buddy's. Apologies went out from me to Dexter for biting his butt unit, but he should have never gotten it that close to my synthetic chomper by standing on my drum monitor. A lesson learned by all. Dexter won't get that close to me ever again, and I realize that Dexter X's butt tastes like a combo platter of fetid tofu and sweaty toe jam. Sunday, August 20 Venue: Local 506 - SLEAZEFEST City: Chapel Hill, NC The Last Great Show of yet another tour of Planet Earth. Sleazefest was a great 3 day smorgasbord of highly charged bands like the immortal Woggles, the Hate Bombs, Southern Culture on the Skids, the Flat Duo Jets, Sons of Hercules, Hillbilly Frankenstein and a slew of more phenomenal bands than most clubs have in an entire year. Astro-Friends had circled the globe and converged on the Local 506. It was practically like a "This Is Your Life" episode in which four lonely space dorks get entirely too nostalgic. Anyway, it was a perfect ending to our "Tour to End All Known Practical Science" because sometimes every Astro-Man longs for human companionship. The show was a macromolecule short of being one of the most enjoyable of the tour. Our main video historian, Craig Zeerfoss at No Place Like Home Productions was documenting the New Dexter Era Astro-Show. As soon as the Tour Probe returns to Alpha H.Q. we will be editing 7 shows that Craig has captured to contrive a Live Video Collage of some of the wildest and weirdest Astro-Performances. Our Sleazefest Show proved to be a valuable resource for wild and weird itself. First off, the Lounge Lizard fell on his ass bringing the likes of half our stage set up with him. A Human Avalanche of Mass Media, a sight beyond bounds. Secondly, I forgot to remind my center of brain cell activity that I can barely chew Earth bubble gum and walk, much less chew and play drums. Needless to relay, my nutrional chomping units punctured my fat smoocher. Being the clever space freak that I am, I quickly turned a punctured lip wound into a Gene Simmons blood spitting side show. Oh yes, the geniusness of stupidity comes to play once again for Mr. B.Stuff. Finally, some big chick and a burned out earth man got on stage for our second to last song. They were dancing right in front of the rhythmic sound device that I call home. It was really starting to piss me off. I said, "Get the fuck out of my way. No one can see me play." Drummers never get their fair shake to begin with. "Fucking move! Do you think I'm making my face contort like this for excercise?" They were oblivious. At the end of "Principles Unknown," our last song, I decided that they would look much snazzier if they wore my drum set as hats. They actually looked surprised. I continued the overly macho, Jesus Lizard-style antic all the way to the goal line, but the audience forced me back on stage with space dork kit in hand. Sorry guys for being a turd, but I like to be seen. Birdstuff is once again the provider of goose eggs. On that note, it all ended. The Astro-Van turned into a pumpkin. Branock and the Lounge Lizard were their original, mousey selves and CoCo, S.Crunch, and Mr. X looked just lovely as my wart-covered, wicked step sisters. We will meet again I'm sure as the Fairy Godmother will surely make us search for our own glass slipper up the East Coast in the oncoming month of October. See you then fellow dorkoids. - Birdstuff ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- MOBILE FIDELITY SOUND LABS -- An Audiophile's Dream (Part Two) by Steve Marshall In the last article, I wrote about several of the CDs and albums recently released by Mobile Fidelity (MFSL). This time, I'll go over more of the titles that MFSL has released and a couple of the accessories they have for your stereo and your music collection. We'll begin with the second release by John Mayall, "Blues Breakers (With Eric Clapton)". MFSL gave this classic album the 24 karat gold treatment, and it couldn't be more deserving. The Ultradisc II CD has excellent depth and separation, especially on the sparse guitar/piano arrangement of "Ramblin' on My Mind" (which also features the first recorded vocals by Clapton). The clarity throughout the 1966 recording is astounding. It's amazing to hear what the 21-year-old guitarist was capable of at such an early age. To date, John Mayall's "Blues Breakers" remains one of the best blues albums ever recorded. Keeping things in a blues vein, the crown jewel of MFSL's catalog has got to be the acoustic Muddy Waters album, "Folk Singer". It won the prestigious Golden Note Award for Best Reissue Recording in 1995 from The Academy for the Advancement of High End Audio. After hearing the Anadisq 200 version of the album, I didn't think it could possibly sound any better - but it does (albeit only marginally). The Ultradisc II CD includes two bonus tracks recorded in April 1964 -- "You Can't Lose What You Ain't Never Had", and the Willie Dixon tune, "The Same Thing". The dynamic range of the recording is breathtaking. You'll swear you're in the middle of the recording studio when you listen to this CD. The rest of the titles mentioned here are Anadisq 200 vinyl releases, all pressed on 200 grams of pure virgin vinyl. Starting things off will be the second and third studio albums by classic rock legends Emerson, Lake & Palmer. MFSL has released two ELP titles so far, "Tarkus" and "Trilogy". The dynamic range on "Tarkus" was excellent. Comparing the MFSL version to the CD in the 1993 "Return of the Manticore" boxed set, the Anadisq 200 sounded more natural. Bass response was better, although the high end seemed a bit muted on MFSL's version, especially on "Bitches Crystal" and "A Time and a Place". The album that really shines for Mobile Fidelity, though, is "Trilogy". There was no surface noise whatsoever. All of the instruments and voices were clear and distinct, much more open than on the boxed set. Bass response was deep and resonant, never boomy. Carl Palmer's drums at the beginning of "The Sheriff" sound great, extremely tight and clear. Keith Emerson's piano on the title track sounds warm and natural. Another of the album's many shining moments is on the Greg Lake track, "From the Beginning", with its acoustic introduction. Lake's vocals and guitar are particularly clear on the Anadisq 200 version. This is one of MFSL's best releases. Moving forward a few years to 1976, we come to Jean Michel Jarre's "Oxygene" album. As one of the founders of electronic music, Jarre has served as an inspiration to the many others in this musical genre (e.g. Isao Tomita, Kitaro, some of Brian Eno's material, etc.). At times, parts of the album (especially Part Two) are reminiscent of Pete Bardens' "Seen One Earth" album. With the technology and equipment available to today's musicians, the material on "Oxygene" sounds a bit dated at times. However, the pressing was virtually noise-free, and the sound quality on the album is outstanding. Shifting gears into reggae mode, we come to the classic album from Bob Marley and the Wailers, "Exodus". Overall, I was not very impressed with the sound on this album. The performance speaks for itself, but the sound is surprisingly "lo-fi" for an MFSL release. Not necessarily bad, but not up to Mobile Fidelity's usual high standards. "Exodus" includes several of Marley's most popular songs, such as "Waiting in Vain", "Jamming", "One World/People Get Ready", and of course, the title track. The last album to be reviewed here is the collaboration between blues guitarists Albert Collins, Robert Cray and Johnny Copeland - "Showdown!". Originally released in 1985, "Showdown!" contains choice cover tunes, as well as a few songs each guitarist had been performing live for some time. With such great tracks as Collins' "The Moon is Full" and the obscure "Black Cat Bone" (originally done by lap steel guitar master, Hop Wilson), this is one album not to be missed. The sound quality on "Showdown" is excellent, as is the performance. Again, the pressing was free of any surface noise, and the channel separation is superb throughout. Blues fans should take notice of this one, it's nothing short of spectacular. Moving on to the next portion of this article, Mobile Fidelity offers accessories for your stereo & your vinyl collection. One of the most important things a turntable owner can do to insure optimum sound and minimize record wear is to make sure your cartridge is properly aligned. Using the Geo-Disc alignment tool from MFSL, precision cartridge alignment is a snap. It allows you to easily set your cartridge's three most critical adjustments - offset, tracking angle, and overhang - to within .003" in minutes. The Geo-Disc effectively reduces the possibility of groove damage and distortion in both tracking and phasing, as well as minimizing any sibilance and tracing error. Mobile Fidelity also offers the protective inner sleeves used for the Anadisq 200 series separately. The rice-paper sleeves are excellent for protecting your prized vinyl collection. They eliminate the common problems associated with most poly-lined & paper sleeves, like scratching, static buildup, and stabilizer drift. They're excellent for storing laserdiscs as well. Mobile Fidelity has been providing the audiophile community with high quality products since their inception in 1977. Using the original master tapes for all their releases, they continue to produce the most natural & realistic sounding recordings currently available in any format. There have been several technological breakthroughs in the recording industry over the years, and MFSL has come up with some of their own, such as the proprietary GAIN mastering system. Audiophile companies have come and gone over the years, but Mobile Fidelity Sound Labs has proven time and time again that they are indeed the audiophile's dream. ========================================================================== [[[[[[[[ [[[[[[ [[ [[ [[[[[ [[[[[[ [[ [[ [[[[[[ [[ [[ [ [[ [[ [ [ [[ [ [[ [[ [[[[[[[[ [[[[[[ [[ [[ [ [[[[[[ [[ [ [[ [[[[[ [[ [[ [ [[[ [ [ [[[ [[[ [[ [[ [[ [[[[[[ [ [[[[[ [[[[[[ [[ [[ [[[[[[ ========================================================================== THE AMERICAN RUSE - RETURN OF THE X (1+2/Barn Homes) If loud, fast and trashy 3-chord Rock & Roll is what gets ya goin', you're gonna dig the shit out of this little plastic thing. Think of everything you loved about bands like The Lazy Cowgirls, The Stones and The Heartbreakers and you'll get a pretty good idea of what these wildmen are all about. Of the 18 songs here (13 originals and a handful of cool covers by the likes of The Only Ones, J. Thunders etc.) there ain't a clunker in the bunch. This is pure, timeless, un-trendy Rock & Roll that will still sound great in 20 or even 50 years from now. And I bet that these guys kick some serious butt live too. (avail. thru Get Hip) - The Platterpuss THE BEATLES -- Anthology 1 (Capitol) One of the most eagerly awaited new releases in several months is the first in a series of three double-CDs from The Beatles, "Anthology 1". For the first time in 25 years, we have a "new" Beatles song -- the John Lennon-penned "Free as a Bird". Using an unfinished demo tape recorded by Lennon circa 1977 as the foundation, producer Jeff Lynne added instrumentation and vocal tracks by the three remaining Beatles to create the song. Unfortunately, the song doesn't live up to all the hype that was surrounding it. Is it interesting? Yes. Will you listen to it more than a few times? Probably not. The rest of the collection, however, is well worth the wait. The remaining tracks on "Anthology 1" are made up of rare, unreleased demos, outtakes, rehearsals & live performances -- commercially available for the first time. Some of the cuts that really stand out are a Paul McCartney/George Harrison song performed live by the Quarry Men in 1958, a newly discovered recording of "You Know What to Do" (the second song ever written by Harrison), five live songs from the failed Decca audition, two songs from the first audition for George Martin, and the rocking cover of Little Willie John's "Leave My Kitten Alone". The packaging for "Anthology 1" is first rate. It comes with a 48-page booklet and includes an introduction by the band's press officer, Derek Taylor. Extensive liner notes were written for each of the 60 tracks on the CDs by Mark Lewisohn. The cover art was designed by long time Beatles associate, Klaus Voormann (who also did the cover for "Revolver"). Some of the more entertaining tracks on the CD include five songs in excellent quality performed for Swedish radio in 1963, an unfinished version of "And I Love Her", and take two of "Can't Buy Me Love" with Paul messing up the lyrics. Other highlights on "Anthology 1" include takes two and three of "I'll Be Back" (which show how quickly the band could change direction in their songwriting), and the false starts on "Eight Days a Week" and "One After 909". If you like The Beatles, this is an essential addition to your CD collection. - (Steve Marshall) THE BOMBORAS - Savage Island (Dionysus) Pulp fictionites beware! If that's how you got interested in surf, and you still think that great Dick Dale tune is CALLED Pulp Fiction, go away and read a different review. This is very authentic surf, here. So authentic that it could easily pass for a 1962 recording. There's nothing particularly fancy here -- very few speed-picked lightning runs. Bomboras opt for melodic beauty in much the same way that their contemporaries, The Halibuts, do. (Although The Halibuts can speed pick with the best of them when they want to.) And like The 'buts, they even live in the authenticity-zone -- Los Angeles, California. Former members of The Finks, this band will make the traditionalists happy as hell, 'cept for the fact that they don't play Fender axes. Nobody's perfect, huh? The feel of this album is summed up nicely in the title, Savage Island. There's a definite tiki atmosphere in all that reverb. My only complaint is...25 MINUTES?!? I wanted it to keep on going. Thank God for the repeat button. - (DJ Johnson) DAVID BOWIE: Virgin Re-Releases Six CDs (Virgin) In late October, Virgin reissued six CDs from David Bowie's back catalog. Coinciding with his current tour with Nine Inch Nails, the reissues come at a time of renewed interest in Bowie's musical career. All were digitally remastered from (in most cases) the original analog master tapes. Five of the CDs now include bonus tracks. Originally released in 1983, the multi-platinum "Let's Dance" contains Bowie's biggest hits of the 80's -- the title track, "China Girl", "Modern Love", and his 1981 collaboration with Queen, "Under Pressure" (as a bonus track). Differences between the new version and EMI's original release were subtle. The reissue has color in the booklet, while the EMI version does not. The original CD has a more resonant low end, but the reissue has more punch to it. Bowie's follow-up album, "Tonight", didn't have quite the commercial success of "Let's Dance", but still reached platinum status. The album's first single, "Blue Jean", as well as "Neighborhood Threat" and "Loving the Alien" are all standout songs. Virgin's reissue contains three bonus tracks from various movie soundtracks. The booklet is the same as the EMI version. Sound quality on Virgin's CD is noticeably better than EMI's. Bowie's career started to wane with the release of his next album, "Never Let Me Down". Though it arguably contained some of his best performances, it was panned by critics. At Bowie's request, Virgin left off one of the original CD's better songs, "Too Dizzy". Apparently, he didn't feel the track fit in with the other songs on the album anymore. They added three bonus tracks to make up for it though. Virgin's remix of the 1987 album has a bit less bass than the original, but still sounds great. The booklets are identical between the two CDs. 1989 saw the debut release by Bowie's new band, Tin Machine. There are quite a few differences in the reissue of this one. The original EMI CD was a picture disc with the songs listed on it. Virgin's has the songs listed on a plain white label. The Virgin CD sounds tighter than the EMI, but EMI's is warmer. Virgin's CD also had a much higher output level than the original. Included as a bonus track on the reissue is a live country version of "Bus Stop". Virgin's reissue of Bowie's "Black Tie, White Noise" CD (originally released on the Savage label) is somewhat disappointing. There were no bonus tracks added, and the packaging was better on the original. Where the reissue has a blank white inlay card under the clear CD tray, the original had red lettering which lined up with the lettering on the CD. The sound on Virgin's CD is slightly better than the original. The last CD in the series is Bowie's soundtrack for the BBC television mini-series, "The Buddha of Suburbia" (available for the first time in the US). Bowie covers a wide range of musical styles on the CD, from the avant-garde jazz of "South Horizon" (featuring Mike Garson on piano), to the funky "Bleed Like a Craze, Dad". The CD also includes the original version of Bowie's latest single, "Strangers When We Meet". David Bowie has redefined the limits of rock music for over 25 years now. With the six new CDs, Virgin has documented an important period in Bowie's groundbreaking career. (Steve Marshall) THE BROOD - Hitsville (Dionysus) There's something very cool and primal about a good garage tune. It's not the MOST primal sound your speakers can kick out, but it's right in there. The Brood have been playing great garage music for something like a decade, and they keep getting better without ever abandoning the sound that made them cool in the first place. The music still sounds like it was recorded in a room flooded with psycho lights and sandlewood incense smoke. The Brood are four women from Portland, Maine, who choose obscure 60's tunes to cover and write originals that sound like they, too, might be obscure covers. Neat trick, doncha think? Not being an expert in the field of 60's garage (even though I'm a fan who's learning fast), I can't say who did these songs originally. I know The Damned did a great version of "Beat Girl," but if it was done before that, I confess my ignorance. So now that we've crashed through the song identification phase of this review, let's move on. Asch Gregory's Farfisa organ is the dominant sound, along with Chris Horne's streetwise vocals, which can be smooth as good scotch or mean as a cornered rattler. Horne's guitar paves the tracks with deep fuzz while Betsy Mitchell (bass) and Crystal Light (drums) keep things bouncing. Garage fans will need this album. It's essential to the collection. Mod fans will get into it as well. Just as you can hear the psycho lights, you can hear the boots and sunglasses. If you've never heard The Brood and you're looking for comparisons...write this down...Take 2 cups of Electric Prunes, 2 cups of ? and The Mysterians, sprinkle liberally with Standells, Lyres and Gravedigger V. Garnish with Count Five. Serve hot. (As IF you had a choice!) - DJ Johnson *** coLeSLAw's Technosection *** THREE FROM MINUS HABENS RECORDS "Electronic Industrial Weird" ...as self-described in the label information brochure, yet after my repeated listens to the three albums sent for review by Minus Habens, I believe they should edit that description to "electronic, industrial, weird, haunting, beautiful, thought evoking". These are among the finest albums of the genre that it has ever been my good fortune to hear. I: Klange - Green Mars Walking that fine line between techno and merely electronic-based music can be a hazardous road to travel, particularly if techno is not your goal. Regardless of what their goal is, Klange pulls it off brilliantly, never relying on those silly "tch-tch-tch-tch" drum beats which most people associate with electronic music. Rest assured, if yer butt's in the mood you can sure as hell dance to it, but the music itself is the key player here, not the need for a steady thumping 4/4 beat. If I could replicate half the textures which ooze their way through this hypnotic album, I would not be sitting here in my room in a stuffy basement writing reviews for people who can. Without wishing to show any favoritism, Green Mars was for me the most listenable of the three - which brings me to.... II: Body Frequencies (tattoo, piercing, scarification) - Various Artists It should forthwith be known that I did enjoy this album, and as well, I consider it the most unlistenable of the three. Relax, chum...an explanation will ensue. So I called it unlistenable, that doesn't mean I didn't like it. On the contrary, this is an album designed with the intent that it should be enjoyed under certain (and potentially painful) experiences. The tones are all darker, the sound more distorted; yet the mood, interestingly enough, seems more serene. It is a peacefully soothing album which just happens to be full of sounds that can grind away flesh. A firmly solid and well chosen group of songs which work together well on a compilation album, which I have found to be a rare occurrence indeed. III: Urbanitribu - Urbanitribu Featuring Mr. Massimiliano of Klange, this album has as much resemblance to "Green Mars" as a navy bean pie. This album stands firmly on its own, as well as off to the side a bit and under 13 feet of murky water. With the addition of bass, guitar, and some distorted vocals done more by the band and less by sampled works, this album blends the unexpectedness and experimentation of electronic music with the more recognizable forms of music known to the rest of the world. It is a bit poppier, a bit more upbeat, and unfortunately, the drum loops a bit more predictable. None of these should be taken as insults to the album, they merely are intended to describe that this is an album that you can dance to, without any of the tedious concern of wondering to yourself about whether or not you should be. - (coLeSLAw) GLADHANDS - From Here To Obscurity (Big Deal) Fans of bands like Teenage Fanclub and Velvet Crush, with their lush production and layers of guitars splayed out over catchy, hooky songs may find a lot to love here. Personally, while I find this to be very pleasant background music while I'm surfin' the net or writing letters, closer listening leaves me wanting a bit more. Somehow the songs seem to lack that special something to make them stand out. Not that they're bad, just ordinary. So, while I'll be interested to see where they can take it from here, and I think that they have the potential to make a really great record, this one ain't it and I can only recommend this to rabid fans of the above 2 bands who absolutely cannot get enough. - The Platterpuss THE GRABBERS - The Way I Am (Dr. Dream) Fans of that melodic-core sound as played by bands like Face To Face, Rhythm Collision, Pegboy and a whole host of others will surely dig these guys as well. While they might not add anything new to the formula, they play it as well as anyone, maybe even better than most, mixing in lots of post-adolescent alienation and adrenaline with just the right amount of melodic smarts and catchy hooks. Unlike a lot of albums in this style that have come out over the last year or so, this is one that I will still be spinning when melodic punk rock is, once again, no longer fashionable. (841 W. Collins, Orange CA 92667) - The Platterpuss THE HATE BOMBS - She's The Girl/Know About You (Speed-O-Meter) These guys play snotty, snarlin & stompin' 60's influenced garage band R & R, the kinda thing that I can never get enough of. Picture an even cruder version of the first Chesterfield Kings album and you're definitely on the right track. "...Girl" borrows a riff from Them's "I Can Only Give You Everything" and proceeds to turn it inside out just enough to make it their own while "Know About You" speeds things up a bit more and is pure primitive mayhem at its best. (1430 Lake Highland Dr., Orlando FL 32803) - The Platterpuss HEAD & THE HARES - Two Tymes/Lost (Stanton Park) This Italian quartet plays garagey psych/pop that sounds like they've put in a lot of time listening to bands like The Byrds, Love and The Rising Storm. Although I really dig both tracks, I think I'm especially partial to "Lost" as it's got a harder edge to it, not to mention some really nifty organ playing. (PO Box 58, Newtonville MA 02160) - The Platterpuss THE INHALANTS - Kill You/Automatic Pilot (Unclean) This Texas trio dishes out some of the rawest Punk Rock I've heard in a long long time. While I'm not usually a big fan of the 'muddier is better' school of production, somehow it all sounds perfectly right here. Not for the faint hearted by any means, but anyone else who digs bands like The Rip Offs and Teengenerate oughta really go for this big time. - The Platterpuss LAIKA AND THE COSMONAUTS - The Amazing Colossal Band (Upstart) After last year's incredible "Instruments Of Terror," Laika and the Cosmonauts come roaring back with an even better record. Mistaken for a surf band by many people, this quartet from Finland plays a mix of spy and psychotic carnival music. If you read interviews with instro musicians, surf and otherwise, you'll notice that this band is mentioned 90 percent of the time as favorites. There's a reason. They aren't predictable in the slightest. People who hate instro love this band. Hell, people who hate MUSIC love this band. The coolest track off the last album was a cover of the Mission Impossible theme, which is, let's face it, STILL killer spy music. On this album, it's a tossup between "The A-Treatment," with its penetrating and unusual guitar scale, and "The Man From H.U.A.C.," with a guitar part that's like "Shakin' All Over" on speed. Just to throw you off, they do have a cool little surf track called "O.C.C.C. (Oahu Community Correctional Center)." Did I mention these guys have a sense of humor? Instruments Of Terror was a hard act to follow, but they did it, and in a big way. If you seek instro music with an unusual spin on it, this is the holy grail. - (DJ Johnson) LOS STRAITJACKETS - Self titled (Upstart) It's getting harder and harder to spot a real traditional surf band. I very nearly tagged Los Straitjackets with that label, but something just didn't seem right about it. Sometimes they're not particularly surfy... just playing good ol' rock n roll instro music. And when they do play it wet, there's something hovering in the mix that you didn't hear on any Astronauts album. Mike Tyson said he fought with "bad intentions." I think that's what I'm hearing here. Just above the mix on these trad-sounding tracks you'll hear something cold and menacing. Kinkyinstro. It doesn't hurt that they wear ornate leather wrestling masks when they play, either. Don't bother making the obvious comparisons to other anonymous rockers like Kiss, either, because these guys play the shit out of their instruments. Besides, they're not all that anonymous. Danny Amis (guitar) used to kick it out with The Raybeats. Eddie Angel (guitar) came from Planet Rockers. Scott Esbeck (bass) played with Dig Mandrakes, and L.J. Lester (drums) banged it out with Webb Wilder. The surfy tunes are excellent. "Calhoun Surf" was a Raybeats song, so Amis probably didn't feel bad borrowing it for his new band. It's an outstanding piece of traditional writing with a great melody. The thing that really works best for this band, however, is the Spy sound. With "G-Man" and "Della Street," Los Straitjackets have given that genre two classic recordings. Then there are the straight ahead instros like "Caveman," which is my pick for guttiest/coolest/spookiest track on the album. Once again you hear what sounds like straight forward instro, but the lead guitar sighs and moans just above the mix in a very unsettling way. Kinky sex on dangerous drugs. I don't know what that means. I just tried to say what the music made me envision. I'll go get psychological help. You go get this record. - (DJ Johnson) MATCHBOOK SHANNON: Sob Story (Landphil) Usually, the only people we hear about that come from Omaha, Nebraska, are 300 pound offensive linemen. That may not be totally fair, but I'm having trouble thinking of any exceptions, except for one. Matchbook Shannon is a 3-piece band that makes a cool noise. Some of the songs are straight forward medium-fast Pixie-esque punk, and some are deeper and more introspective. When they rock, there is almost always something bizarre going on in the mix. Sometimes it's an out of tune background vocal. Sometimes it's the lead guitar that's not quite in tune. On one track, it's a dual guitar part that is the musical definition of chaos. On almost every track, there's SOMETHING that isn't quite right, and that's exactly what's so right about it. When some bands try that trick, it sounds like so much mush. When Matchbook Shannon does it, it only makes the song sound more unique and memorable. Jon Hansen's guitar never lays out cliches. Everything sounds raw and emotional. He's able to make his guitar sound completely heartbroken. There are two distinct vocal styles, both of which fit the material. I'm not sure who sings which tracks, since both Jon and bassist Corey Beckman are credited as vocalists. Both, along with drummer Doug Kabourek, are listed as writers of all tracks except "Double Joe," an excellent cover of a Simon Joyner tune. The track that rips me to shreds is "Rebekah Song," a sad little G-D-C-Em chord progression with a tragic lyric and a ghost-like string section playing some very weird stuff under the mix. Again, it's that discordant touch that helps cement the tune in your head. Other standout tracks include (but sure as hell aren't limited to) a cool instro tune called "Sex Wax," a great melodic punk song called "Collector" that would be a fantastic single, and "I (Tonic)," which is the one with the dual guitar part I mentioned before. The CD was produced by the band, along with engineers AJ and Mike Mogis of Whoop-Ass Studio in Lincoln, Nebraska. It's sparse where it should be ("Double Joe's" raw power, for instance) and lavish where it has to be (check out the wall of guitars and the sleigh bells on "Different"). Landphil Records has a WWW site at http://www.novia.net/landphil. You should check out the sample they have online there. - (DJ Johnson) NRA - Access Only (Bitzcore) These guys play a robust blend of hardcore and punk that I personally find quite intriguing to say the least. Of course, me being such a big melodic punk fan, I'm more partial to songs like "Abort Feelings", "Another Day At Work", "Nothing" and "Don't Know" all of which contain enough sing-alongable hooks to satisfy anyone. One thing that I like about these guys is that they're not afraid to slow down the tempo occasionally making songs like "American Girl" and "Windchill" even more effective for the contrast. If you're a fan of a lot of the Epitaph bands I think you'll really appreciate what these guys are doing. (2211 N. Elston Ave., Chicago IL 60614) The Platterpuss THE REVELERS - 91st Street Stomp (Inbred) If this album had come out 15 years ago, ut would be referred to, by power pop fans all over with the same reverence that's saved for records like the first Romanticsalbum or the first few Shoes LPs. To these ears it would seem that these guys got it all - clever yet heartfelt, hook- laden songs, melodic vocals with just the right anount of nasal and the musical chops to tie it all together very handily. Definitely a big winner. (PO Box 14157, Cleveland OH 44114) The Platterpuss THE SACRED HEARTS - Psyche Out EP (Twist) For the longest time these guys have, inexplicably to me, remained one of the world's best kept secrets, at least here in the States. Their blend of garage and power pop with some psych elememts thrown in has produced some of my favorite records of the 90's. This EP is only going to reaffirm that opinion as all 4 songs on here are absolute aces and more straight-ahead power pop than the record's title might indicate. Now that Twist Records has a US distributor (at least for mailorder) you can actually finally get your hands on some of the incredible records by these guys, The Mystreated and The Lust-O-Rama that I've been ranting and raving about for the last few years. (avail. thru Get Hip) - The Platterpuss THE SMITHEREENS -- Attack of the Smithereens (Capitol) The Smithereens have always been a band to release B-sides. Now for the first time, Capitol has released a collection of these rare cuts on "Attack of the Smithereens". The new CD contains rare demos, live performances, and cover songs recorded throughout their career. Some of the songs have been previously released, some are exclusive to this CD. Liner notes were written for the CD's 26 tracks by DiNKen (mostly Pat DiNizio, "with a little help from his friend Dennis"). The CD starts off with the 1945 Smith College Women's Choir singing "Here Come the Smithereens". This is just one of the many obscure tracks found on the new CD. Some of the rarer tracks include live versions of "Behind the Wall of Sleep" with Graham Parker (from MTV's Unplugged), Don't Be Cruel (as performed with the song's writer - Otis Blackwell), "Just a Little" (performed with The Beau Brummels), and "You Really Got Me" (performed with The Kinks). Fans can also hear demos of classic Smithereens tunes like "Blood and Roses" and "Yesterday Girl". Among the covers included are faithful renditions of the Iggy Pop/David Bowie collaboration, "Lust For Life", The Who's classic "The Seeker", Ringo Starr's "It Don't Come Easy", and The Beatles' "One After 909". In case that's not enough, the CD also includes a cover of the Frank & Nancy Sinatra standard, "Something Stupid", and a rollicking version of the holiday classic, "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer". This is one CD that's sure to be played a lot. Even if you're not a big Smithereens fan, there is enough good material here to keep you interested. Great CD. - (Steve Marshall) UNCLE JOE'S BIG OL' DRIVER - Chick Rock (Headhunter/Cargo) For some reason, possibly 'cause I think that "Chick Rock" is a dumb title, I wasn't expecting a whole lot from this, despite the fact that it was produced by master knob twiddler Kurt Bloch. OK, so I was wrong, maybe even very wrong. At their best these guys remind me of The Pontiac Brothers who in turn sounded like a mixture of The Stones and The Replacements. Their lead singer has a kind of Paul Westerberg, circa "Bastards Of Young", boozy catch in his voice while the songs are in more of a punky bar band Rock & Roll style. Of the 12 songs on here, at least half are total barn burners making this a more than worthwhile purchase. I bet these guys must bring the fuckin' house down live. (4901-906 Morena Blvd., San Diego CA 92117-3432) - The Platterpuss VARIOUS ARTISTS - Essential Sun Rockabillies, Vols 1 & 2 (Charly) There are two volumes to this series, so far, and I highly recommend both to anyone who loves this form of music. As you may know, Sun Records has a very important place in music history because it was the first label for such greats as Elvis Presley, Carl Perkins, Roy Orbison, Jerry Lee Lewis and Johnny Cash. Perkins, Orbison and Lewis are represented on these two discs, but the thing that makes these two CD's so great is the wealth of obscurities. To the casual listener, it's a virtual who in the hell is who of rockabilly, because they won't know the names of Onie Wheeler, Charlie Feathers, Macy Skipper, Narvel Felts or most of the others. There are twenty five songs on each CD, mostly by lesser known artists who really should have been heard. The liner notes are nothing short of fantastic. The story of each artist is told, band lineups are listed, and regrets are shared. Billy Lee Riley, (or just plain Bill Riley, depending on who you ask), who's classic "Red Hot" is included on Vol 1, was on the verge of major success when Sam Phillips, the owner of Sun, decided to put all his cash behind Jerry Lee Lewis just as "Red Hot" was starting to get air play. Phillips actually told radio stations to stop playing the song in favor of more air time for Lewis' "Great Balls Of Fire." Riley got rip roaring drunk and kicked the crap out of Sun Studios until Phillips showed up and placated him with more promises of stardom...which never came. This is a typical example of the inside info in the liner notes. The music covers the spectrum from country stomp to something just to the right of R&B. There are so many high points that it's hard to pick just a few, but I will say that Jack Earl's "Crawdad Hole" is a song that SOMEBODY had better cover someday. These CD's are filled with great rockers waiting to be covered. Meanwhile, let's all start a letter writing campaign to pressure Charly Records into a Volume 3. - (DJ Johnson) VARIOUS ARTISTS: Picklemania NYC (Riot/No Trousers) New York City always has a scene for every taste, and this is a good attempt at showing the indie scene in all its glory. Sea Monkeys start it off with a classic ass-kicking of "I Can See Clearly Now" and from there on in it's a mixed bag of punk styles from trad to near psychedelia. Some of the more interesting bands of the 90's appear here, including Iron Prostate, The Wives, Hot Corn Girls, Ff, Rats Of Unusual Size, Molotov Cocktail and the aforementioned Sea Monkeys. 17 tracks without many throw-aways. Some of the noisier tracks, like "In The Middle," by Ultra Bride, push the punk envelope a bit into the psych realm. They make great sadistic aerobics music, too. As to whether this is a definitive document of the current New York scene...I would say no. It's too diverse to document in just 17 tracks. But then again, I doubt that Riot was shooting for a definitive document. Picklemania NYC sticks to a fairly narrow strip of the road, but it covers that strip nicely. The two extremes would probably be Ff's "Bottomless Pitt" on the straight punk end and The Splitters' "Strange" on the trippy end. If that's your bandwidth, this is your CD. - (DJ Johnson) VARIOUS ARTISTS: Punk Sucks (Liberation Records) A good solid compilation. Thirty melodic punk tunes with only a few clunkers. I'll list the tracks because the lineup speaks for itself. I'd like to go on record first by saying that my favorite track is Quincy Punk's "Cereal Killer." Always a sucker for a romantic lyric, I was immediately smitten with the intro. "Snap...crackle...pop...kill!" For those of you who haven't been lucky enough to hear this one, lemme just tell ya that his Rice Crispies do indeed talk, and they tell him to kill you. And he knows his cereal's never wrong. So many good tracks, though. As I said, they'll speak for themselves, so here ya go. PENNYWISE - "Showdown" NO USE FOR A NAME - "Soulmate" TEN FOOT POLE - "Racer X" SUBLIME - "All You Need" HOME GROWN - "Face In The Crowd" VOODOO GLOW SKULLS - "Descendent's Song" WHITE KAPS - "Germs" 88 FINGERS LOUIE - "Too Many" THE NEIGHBORS - "Sometimes" H.F.L. - "Old School Pride" EVERREADY - "I Hate You" BOLLWEEVILS - "New Dreams" UNWRITTEN LAW - "Crazy Poway Kids" GOOD RIDDANCE - "Mother Superior" BLINK - "M&M's" STRUNG OUT - "Support Your Troops" NAKED AGGRESSION - "Right Now" JUGHEADS REVENGE - "49 and 61" FUNERAL ORATION - "Damn You" OVERLAP - "Song #9" BOUNCING SOULS - "The Ballad Of Johnny X" BORIS THE SPRINKLER - "All My Time" GLUE GUN - "Skate The Haight" QUINCY PUNK - "Cereal Killer" FED UP! - "Can't Figure It" STRAIGHT FACED - "Omit" F.Y.P - "2000 A.D." FIGHTING CAUSE - "Bummers" SUPERNOVICE - "Out On The Grass" THE LIVING END - "Deadbeat" Quite a gathering, no? This is all fast and in your face, right where you need it to be when you're out of coffee. Or rocket fuel. - (DJ Johnson) VARIOUS ARTISTS -- Rattlesnake Guitar: The Music of Peter Green (Viceroy) 1995 was the year of the tribute CD. Some were great (like the Todd Rundgren tribute "Still There is More"), some not so great (the John Lennon tribute "Working Class Hero"). One of the best to come out last year was "Rattlesnake Guitar". Peter Green was the original guitarist in Fleetwood Mac. Long before they achieved their commercial success, they were a blues-based band. Green wrote several songs that became successful for other artists, such as Santana's signature version of "Black Magic Woman", Judas Priest's take on "The Green Manalishi", and "Oh Well" (covered by several different artists). The artists covering Green's songs are diverse. Guitarist Snowy White (who has toured with Pink Floyd) contributes an excellent rendition of "Looking For Somebody". The late Rory Gallagher (to whom the CD is dedicated) contributes two tracks - "Leaving Town Blues" and "Showiz Blues". Bassist extraordinaire Billy Sheehan turns in an amazing version of "Oh Well". In a departure from his days in Uriah Heep, Ken Hensley does an interesting acoustic version of "Hellbound on my Trail". Arthur Brown's menacing take on "The Green Manalishi" is done as only he can. Also featured on "Rattlesnake Guitar" are tracks performed by Ian Anderson (Jethro Tull), Dave Peverett & Rod Price (Foghat), Stu Hamm & Jonathan Mover (Joe Satriani), and many others. Don't overlook this CD - it's one of the best of 1995. - (Steve Marshall) VARIOUS ARTISTS - Shreds Vol. 2 (Shredder) Vol. 1 of this series was one of the best compilations of 1994 and Vol. 2 is definitely a more than worthy follow-up. Mel Shredder, the guy who put this all together, is a big fan of melodic punk rock and this is a collection of some of his favorite American indie singles from past year. Though everyone will have his or her own favorites, some of mine are Cub's poppy "Your Bed", the harder-edged punk of "Never Be Your Girl" by The Fondled, "9:15" by Beatnik Termites, "Indifferent" by Red Number Nine and "Pop Song" by The Phuzz. Coloring Book's "Time To Grow" is a softer, prettier ballad that stands up quite well on its own in addition to being a welcome change of pace. Other tracks by Atomic Boy, Wooly Mammoth, Loose Change and Mark Brodie & The Beaver Patrol are also saved from a much undeserved oblivious fate. All in all, if you're a fan of bands like Green Day or The Parasites, you won't go wrong here. (75 Plum Tree Lane #3, San Rafael CA 94901) - The Platterpuss VARIOUS ARTISTS - Sympophony #1 (Not Lame) This is actually a collection of 4 songs apiece by 5 different bands: Martin Luther Lennon, The Rockerfellers, Cherry Twister, The Finns and The Shambles. Of the batch I personally prefer Martin Luther Lennon whose uptempo tunes are just filled with catchy hooks and Beatlesque harnmonies making them all but irresistable. The only time they let me down was on the lone non-original, a super slowed-down, ballady take on Gen-X's "Dancing With Myself" which was actually kinda painful to play all the way through. A close runner up in the fave rave dept. was The Shambles who add a bit of bubblegum to their own perfect pop mix. Anyone who still plays their old Monkees albums is sure to love these guys. The other 3 bands were not bad by any means even if they did take a back seat to the top 2. Nonetheless, credit, thanks and support should be given to the folks at Not Lame for giving all 5 of these bands some well-deserved exsposure to a wider audience. - The Platterpuss THE WHO -- Who's Next (MCA) The Who's classic 1971 album, "Who's Next" was recently reissued - complete with seven bonus tracks from the infamous "Lifehouse" era. Three of these tracks came from discarded master tapes. Recovered from a dumpster outside the studio, the multi-track tapes eventually became the source for the now legendary bootleg, "From Lifehouse to Leeds". In May of 1995, Chris Charlesworth (executive producer of the Who reissues) comandeered the return of the tapes for use on the new CD. As for the album's original nine songs, what more can be said? The sound quality on the new CD is superb. When compared to the recently released 24K gold version, the reissue (generally) has better sound. The background vocals on "Behind Blue Eyes" are more distinct on the gold CD, and Pete Townshend's acoustic guitar is pushed forward in the mix on a few of the songs. Aside from that, pretty much everything else sounds better on the reissue. For collectors, the highlights on the new CD are the bonus tracks, new liner notes, & rare photos. Live versions of "Naked Eye" and "Water" were taken from the 1971 concert at London's Young Vic Theatre. Also included is an edited studio version of "Baby, Don't You Do It" (about three minutes shorter than originally recorded), and the slightly faster, original version of "Pure and Easy". Townshend and John Atkins (the editor of the Who fanzine "Generations") contribute new liner notes to the individual tracks, as well as essays detailing the creation of the "Lifehouse" project. Underneath the CD tray is a photo of Keith Moon (complete with leather corset and whip) from the photo shoot for the aborted original "Who's Next" cover. The only negative thing to be said about the new CD (and this really isn't bad) is the editing of the two live tracks from the Young Vic show. "Naked Eye" segued into "Bonie Maronie" when originally performed. "Water" was played earlier in the set. The good thing about the live tracks, though, is that they sound great. There have been rumors circulating of MCA releasing the entire Young Vic show. If there is any truth to the rumors, Who fans are in for a real treat. "Who's Next" is a required part of any Who fan's collection. Producer Jon Astley and engineer Andy Macpherson (who have worked together on the entire series of Who reissues) have taken an exceptional album and made it even better. - (Steve Marshall) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- FILM REVIEW: LEAVING LAS VEGAS By David Fenigsohn Hollywood loves feel-good alcoholism. Movies about drunks give filmmakers free reign to use a slew of manipulative devices- audiences can start by laughing at the hapless drunk, then be shocked or angered by the drunk's bad wicked ways, move on to feeling pity for the poor boozer who has ruined his life, and finally cheer his victory over adversity. Hollywood is equally enamored of prostitutes, who can get the audience off for the first hour of a movie, then stop their whoring once they find love and happiness in the arms of a wealthy john. Director Mike Figgis knows all about what Hollywood likes--he directed Richard Gere in the feel-good depression flick "Mr. Jones" as well as the slick police thriller "Internal Affairs." Which makes "Leaving Las Vegas" all the more a remarkable achievement. "Leaving Las Vegas" is a well-crafted, relentless assault on its audience. Scene after scene simultaneously builds the audience pathos for its tragic characters while forcing us to witness their inevitable self-destruction. Nicholas Cage plays Ben, a hopeless alcoholic who has failed in every aspect of his life in Los Angeles. Upon losing his job, he abandons any hope of survival in the sober world, and lights a funeral pyre for all of the relics of his past life before heading out to Las Vegas. He checks into a cheap motel which he stocks with gallons of booze, and sets out to "drink myself to death." Cruising the strip, he picks up Sera (Elisabeth Shue), a beautiful street whore. He brings her back to his home, The Whole Year Inn (which Ben reads as the "Hole You're In"). She attempts to go down on him, but he is in too fragile a condition even for that--they end up falling asleep in each others' arms. When not in the midst of a severe case of the shakes or a fit of vomiting, Ben displays a certain charm. He is gentle, generous and completely at ease with his slow, deliberate suicide. Sera, a victim of unspeakable abuse and a desperate loneliness, latches on to him, offering him her home, her body and, at times, glimpses of what lies beneath her scars. Ben, often so far gone he views Sera as an angel from heaven, is unable to reciprocate with anything but the chance to take care of him, which is all Sera needs. In his own tragic, self-absorbed way, he loves her, but makes it clear the one condition of their togetherness is that she never ask him to stop drinking. It is the ultimate dysfunctional love story, and the end is as devastating as it is predetermined. Every role Cage plays make a stronger case for him being the best actor of his generation. In a extraordinarily difficult role, Cage is both charming and repulsive. Part of what makes 'Leaving Las Vegas' so difficult to watch are Cage's comic scenes--his timing is flawless, his face expressive, and the script serves him well. It's hard not to laugh at Cage's drunken bumbling. But as he continues his descent into hell, each laugh at Cage's expense is coupled with guilt and remorse at finding humor in his form of suicide. Still, even with an Oscar-worthy performance, Cage is overshadowed by Shue. Perhaps because Cage has all ready built a reputation as one of today's best actors, it is easier to take his work for granted. Shue's previous movies have been a string of forgettable bit parts, flops, and teenage comedies. The depth and conviction she brings to her role comes as a surprise, and is an enormous credit to both her and Figgis. Her role is the inverse of Cage's--the persona her character has created shows nothing human other than the sum of her marketable body parts. When not for sale, she struggles to prop up Cage, or submits to repulsive indignities at the hands of her pimp. Shue's greatest strength as an actress is convincing the audience of the inevitability of her life, to the point where her most irrational, self-destructive decisions seem not only plausible, but a horrific fate somehow out of her hands. As a filmmaker, not only does Figgis draw the best out of his cast but out of his setting as well. The lights of Vegas are seen through a filter and a haze. Today, in reality, the city has been gentrified into a virtual Disneyland for all ages. But Figgis retains the city's sleaze and desperation. Vegas is typically portrayed as a city where people go with hopes dreams and desires, as irrational and seedy as they might be. Figgis instead presents Vegas as a place for those who have already lost any semblance of anything but revel in what they are. Figgis refuses to spare the audience in any way. Cage is shown losing control of his functions and facilities in graphic detail. The assault and rape of Shue are almost easier to view, since at least they are not completely self-inflicted. The camera will display the hallucinations of Cage's drunkenness only to jarringly return to the harsh light of an outside observer watching Cage passed out clutching a bottle, with Shue resigningly struggling to aid him. Devastating and painful, "Leaving Las Vegas" is a film that no one will enjoy, but one can not help but respect. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- David Fenigsohn is a Seattle based free-lance writer covering the arts for a number of publications, both electronic and traditional. He is currently at work on a collection of short stories. He can be reached at a-davfe@microsoft.com, and welcomes any comments, correspondence, solicitations or criticism. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- BOOK REVIEW: THE RIVERMAN - By Robert D. Keppel, Ph.D. with William J. Birnes (Pocket Books) Review by DJ Johnson It's a time honored practice within the publishing community to place a swastika somewhere on the cover of a book. There is a good reason for this -- it sells books. Research has shown that the presence of that nazi symbol of evil attracts readers. Are these readers evil? No, they're curious. Curious about evil and willing to shell out money to read about it. It's a time honored practice to release true crime books, as well. Murder stories sell because people want to look at things through the eyes of evil and try to understand it. Why do you think Helter Skelter continues to sell? These books sell as well as the books with swastikas. "The Riverman" is a book about two seriel killers: Ted Bundy and The Green River Killer. Bob Keppel was the chief investigator on both of those cases in Washington state. Years after Bundy's arrest and conviction, as he was awaiting execution in Florida's electric chair, Keppel received word that Bundy wanted to talk to him. Bundy thought he might avoid the chair if he could prove himself valuable as an investigator in the Green River case. His qualifications were obvious. He had stalked a specific type of female, disposed of them in specific types of "dumping grounds" and vanished into thin air without being detected. Keppel discussed the case with Bundy on several occasions, picking his brain and ultimately drawing pieces of confession from Bundy himself. Transcribed from the tape recordings of their discussions, Bundy's words leave one with a chill. He was a brutal killer, animalistic and cold, and he had no remorse. He was not an idiot, however. Bundy had a very intricate mind, and his analysis of the Green River Killer was often well thought out and revolutionary. Keppel's own disdain for Bundy was often mixed with something close to admiration, if only for his deductive abilities. Not all of that was IQ driven, however. Bundy was frequently speaking from experience, and that's the fact buried in the back of your mind that keeps things in perspective throughout this read. In the end, they didn't ever catch the Green River Killer. He vanished into history without a trace. Bundy kept his date with "old Sparky," but not before confessing to many of his murders. His descriptions of decapitation, dumping and necrophilia may be more than the casual true crime buff can handle, and for that reason "The Riverman" must be seen as something more than the usual crime fare. As a stark look inside the complex mind of a vicious predator, it is well worth the read. [Editor's Note: Vintage Guitar Books' "Stellas & Stratocasters," scheduled to be reviewed this issue, will be reviewed in the next issue instead.] ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- BETWEEN ZERO & ONE By Steven Leith THE KARMA METER IS RUNNING OUT It appears that the idea of using military force to attempt to avert genocide is not a very popular one. Apparently we are only to use our military might to make the world safe for oil profits or to obstruct nationalistic movements or to stop revolution or to shut up loud-mouth dictators (who know where the CIA's bodies are buried). Our two hundred year history is a parade of wars. Most of these wars have something in common; they were undertaken to support our National Interests. The debate about war has boiled down to one thing: "Is it in our National Interest to make war?" Funny thing about Nations. No one expects them to live by the same rules that the rest of us do. The citizens of a country are always exhorted to do the right thing. We learn in school, Church, Media and the Arts that we must embrace certain values because they are right. I doubt anyone thinks they build up Karma on the Karma Meter by doing what is in their best interest. Yet when it comes to a Nation the only thing we can think of to talk about when issues arise is whether it is in the National Interest to take an action. Open debate is confined, strangled, by the need to couch everything in terms of National Interest. Is it in the National Interest to allow Europeans to die by rape, torture and starvation? Some very vocal people seem to think so. Well, they don't say that. They say that it is not in our National Interest to get involved in a war where there is no oil, no U.S. Corporations and no Republican constituency. Yes, war is a very great evil. The only thing that can mitigate it, even a little, is to make war when it is the right thing to do. If we only make war for profit we reinforce a system that has come to dominate the social and political fabric of this Nation. Maybe if we put our troops in harm's way for the idea of peace, the concept of doing the right thing might spread across our Nation. Maybe the Newt Right will no longer be able to use National Interest as an excuse when they want to cut capital gains taxes, screw the states or feather the nests of their multinational corporate pals. Even if the idea of making a Nation do the right thing does not catch on, at least for this one moment in our long bloody history we will put some Karma back in the Meter. The last time I looked, that Meter was showing violation. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- TYING TONGUES AND ZIPPING LIPS ON THE HILL By DJ Johnson Happy new year, everyone. 1995 wasn't so bad, when you really think about it. One of the most significant events of the year was the sinking of the Communications Decency Act. The government tried to take control of the Internet, and in doing so tried to kill it. Didn't work. They backed off, and we all took a collective deep breath and relaxed. Oops. We should have kept filling those sand bags and digging those fox holes. They're back. Them. The US Gov. They'll never change, will they? There seems to be something about political power that makes people want to force their morals on the masses. The problem here is in the definitions. What is moral to you may be devil's food to me, so it's not a good idea for me to define morality for the masses. Got it? Yeah, well...I'm sure you get it, but there are apparently not many in DC that get it. These are the absolute worst people for the job of morality cops. How many times have we seen the sex scandals spring up around the senators or congressmen who have yelled the loudest about morality? Do we want someone telling us what is and what isn't dirty while they themselves are probably frequent visitors of alt.sex.pageboys.poke.poke.poke? Will we trust them? Here's a hint: Bob Packwood voted in favor of the CDA last year. Bob Packwood! The real issue is simply that these people fear the Internet. It's a wide open form of communication that they haven't been able to regulate to death yet. They are constantly being verbally pummelled in news groups, e-mail lists and electronic publications. Worst of all, real information can be passed from citizen to citizen. The last thing most politicians want is an informed voting public. Let's face it, most of these schmoes would be out on their ears if the Internet community ever mobilized against them. And here's the funny part -- they know that, yet they're bringing it on themselves with these actions. You know those astonishing statistics on the growth of the online population? Scary numbers, especially if you're in danger of pissing them all off at once, but nobody ever accused the average politician of possessing common sense. So here we are in 1996, an election year that promises to be one of the most important ever. Will the GOP win the White House, and if so, will Canada offer the rest of us asylum? Will the Christian Coalition gain more power and HELP these politicians dictate morality? Will it be mandatory to say grace before every meal or sex act? Or will you do something about all this bullshit while we can still SAY bullshit without going to prison for two years and paying a 100,000 dollar fine? How about that. A hundred grand for saying "bullshit." Two years in the slammer. Of course, we don't know where the lines will be drawn, so it's possible you could do time for saying "hell." Or "muffin." or "impeach." And once this door has been opened, the flood gates will follow. Music, art, television -- all have been attacked unsuccessfully in the past, but it'll be open season if this isn't squashed by the Supreme Court. We have already been informed that President Clinton isn't apt to veto it. Great. What must our friends in other countries think of all this? Isn't the net a world with no borders, after all? How will these new US laws be enforced in the multi-national cyberworld? How can we keep them from even trying? GLAD ya asked! Yes, there are plenty of things you can do. First of all, get the facts. There are several places where you can learn about this. This column is too short to list all the details of the current bill, so I suggest you try all the links listed below and just look around. Be detectives. The content on these sites can change from day to day, so keep going back. Arm yourself with knowledge. Then bombard your congressional and senatorial reps with e-mail, voice mail and mail mail. TELL them that you're getting tired of this. Most importantly, take notes. See who fights for you and who fights against you. Then use those notes to make wise choices in the next few elections. If they can't behave, kick 'em out. We have the numbers to do that. To paraphrase Admiral Yamamoto, they have awakened a sleeping giant. And I, for one, ain't goin' back to sleep. [Editor's Note: The following is the HTML code used in this column in the WWW version of Cosmik Debris. It contains the URL's of important WWW sites that have information about this issue. Please cut & paste this into your own bookmarks and go educate yourselves on this important subject. It's vital.]

FOLLOW THESE LINKS TO FREEDOM


============================================================================ - % @ ]]]]]]]]]] . " ~ + . ]]] ]] ]] ]]]] , ^ . ]]] ]]]]] ]] < ]]] ]] ]] ]]]] & # ]]] ]] ]] ]] ! ^ | . """ "" "" """" ]]]]] ]]]] ]]]] ]]]]] ]]]]]] ]]]] - \ ~ ]] ]] ]] ] ] ]] ] ]] ] ` ? $ ]] ] ]]]] ]]]] ]] ]] ]] ]]] ~ ` ]] ]] ]] ] ] ]] ]] ]] ] l """"" """" """"" "" "" """" `"" ]]]]] ]]]]]] ]]]] ]] ]]]]] @ : ]] ]] ]] ]] ]] ]] / + ]]]] ]] ]]]] ]] ]] ] | ]] ]] ]] ]] ]] ]] ! : "" """" """" """"" """"" + . Random stuff for your entertainment. Happy scrolling! International Hypocrisy Day --------------------------- Millions of people do not read or write. Hundreds of isolated programs spout great words about helping people learn. Millions of people do not read or write. Corporations pump out propaganda about how much wonderful work they are doing. Millions of people do not read or write. Literacy professionals pursue their lifelong careers Millions of people do not read or write. Governments speak of their initiatives. Millions of people do not read or write. Universities and colleges study adult literacy and write hundreds of papers and studies. Millions of people do not read or write. Fuck all the experts. Millions of people do not read or write. Power to the people who cannot read and write. Millions of people do not read or write. Remove yourself from the path of power if you do not represent the Millions of people do not read or write. -Bob Allisat Are you that doggone god that's been feeding us boneless cod for so long? Well so long, sucker, 'cause I'm that dog that bites once I spot those weak egg whites of your eyes. xPIKEx Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. -- Groucho Marx the land's end -- golden dead meadows of marin & sonoma ------------------------------------------------------- so. karen is driving. when did i agree to die? well you should have been there! the tarmac turns tighter than a lonesome russian bearhugs. did you know the russians built a fort here? it says so: russian fort -- fort ross. 90 seconds as the missile flies from market/castro crossing. the intersection. just a surgical vaporflash from the lemmongrass on van ness. at 5.75 a gourmet dish -- world's best thai food -- we think you definitely should. drivin' drivin' drivin'. gazin' gazin' at a silver haze. ocean crashing. my those rocks are steep. that there surf so far awaaaay. foamin' foamin' foamin'. curious point about the local flora. it's gone gone gone. cows and sheep have done the deed. who gave those hooved fuckers permission to eat up the land. now california is said to be parching with a golden dry-sprinklered sheen. to see what it used to be like, look to the west west west. across the water. across the ocean bay into the national seashore. thick 'n' green and studded with trees. noticably redolent with the absence. of cows. of sheep of. private. property. no tresspassing. you turkey. so. california was raped by a gold rush. then farmed into a golden drought. now we see its golden overgraze. golden golden dancing bears. must have done that. golden benz another sign of overgrazing -- slicks the city. the city of stunning lookers. stunning views. we walk the golden gate for hours. in wind and wuthering. in red in golden lights in dusk in night. to and fro marin. all around us twinkle/darken the city the alcatraz the bay. california uber alles. say it ain't so jello. say it ain't so. bad jello. no donut. -Marek Lugowski I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. -- Steven Wright I Shot a Moose Once (a monologue by Woody Allen) ------------------------------------------------ Here's a story you're not going to believe. I shot a moose once. I was hunting in upstate New York and I shot a moose. And I strap him onto the fender of my car, and I'm driving home along the West Side Highway. But what I didn't realize was that the bullet did not penetrate the moose. It just creased his scalp, knocking him unconscious. And I'm driving through the Holland tunnel and the moose woke up. So I'm driving with a live moose on my fender and the moose is signaling for a turn. And there's a law in New York State against driving with a conscious moose on your fender, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. And I'm very panicky. And then it hits me -- some friends of mine are having a costume party. I'll go. I'll take the moose. I'll ditch him at the party. It wouldn't be my responsibility. So I drive up to the party and I knock on the door. The moose is next to me. My host comes to the door. I say, "Hello, you know the Solomons." We enter. The moose mingles. Did very well. Scored. Some guy was trying to sell him insurance for an hour and a half. Twelve o'clock comes, they give out prizes for the best costume of the night. First prize goes to the Berkowitzes, a married couple dressed as a moose. The moose comes in second. The moose is furious! He and the Berkowitzes lock antlers in the living room. They knock each other unconcious. Now, I figure, here's my chance. I grab the moose, strap him on my fender, and shoot back to the woods. But I've got the Berkowitzes. So I'm driving along with two Jewish people on my fender. And there's a law in New York State, Tuesday, Thursday and especially Saturday... The following morning, the Berkowitzes wake up in the woods in a moose suit. Mr. Berkowitz is shot, stuffed and mounted at the New York Athletic Club. And the joke is on them, because it's restricted. Anything Except Love -------------------- Struggle to gather together a few stripped down monosyllables into the meaningless strings of colourless expressions as the tokens of freedom where there is precious little. Winston Smith still sits there in a cafe at the end of fiction, drinking his gin ration properly, still wondering how many fingers, and playing unemotional chess with the minds of passing women. I could write words to the masses, words that would say I love her, and that has to be what passes as my communicative freedom, those words she never hears become fucking grafitti on walls. My freedom of association allows me to be going places, among public mickey mouse clubs where everyone is a shallow put-on, of the same mousekateer ears, join-in the put-down of donald duck. I have lost my mousekateer ears, or I have the wrong ears on - again, red instead of black - I hear badly, today all the mousekateers whisper that I do not look as I should, implying I joined the other side. So very presumptuous of me to imagine we could meet, before every star has fallen down from the skies above, into freedom from heaven and hell so we can all be nearly human again. If it is not the angelic dupes then for sure the aetheric devils that will never give us peace, as I keep recanting everything I ever believed in, except Sartre, saying that hell is other people. They pour the bright red paint into the mixing bowl of my skull then turn on the psychic blender laugh machine until it is a red puree of something to smear onto flags for future Mayday parades. The word "love" is scrawled in huge golden alphabets on the nose-cones of missiles, each defending another slogan from someone's ideologies, though death is always only death. When we become only a dead myth that I then say I wove from nothing, the droning that constantly saturates the ruined remains of a creative mind, then that really might be progress if I still remember how to say that. If she could fall into my arms I know I could again be really happy, I refuse to recant my eyes looking everywhere they allow me to look, to find I cannot find her in a story, and I cannot find her in myself. I have been told a million times, in a thousand different ways, in the space of a million minutes, that she will never invite me, that she does not know I exist, and to choose anything except love. -Bob Ezergailis Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened. -- Winston Churchill (1874-1965) A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs. "Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it." "You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but I'll take the rat." The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him. By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars. Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts to run full tilt. No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously, now not just thousands but millions, so that by the time he comes rushing up to the water's edge a trail of rats twelve city blocks long is behind him. Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a light post, grasping it with one arm while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay with the other, as far as he can heave it. Pulling his legs up and clinging to the light post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown. Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop. "Ah, so you've come back for the rest of the story," says the owner. "No," says the tourist, "I was wondering if you have a bronze Republican." Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock. Emptiness in a Short White Dress -------------------------------- can you call that a dress when it should be called a skirt but how can it be called a skirt when skirts are longer and how long can you stare into the mirror admiring a reflection that is only a reflection of complete emptiness and how can you believe what you want to believe knowing very well the world knows the truth your life is not a page from a glamour magazine nor a clip from a movie it is not a verse from a song or a page from a book it is the same as hers his and mine so look beyond the mirror with eyes that aren't dreaming and see what is real and passing you by -Stephen Lasher There are two major products to come out of Berekley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. -Stephen Lasher Soul Shadow ----------- "Swift Eagle" he is summoned onstage by his brother the crowd is hushed, expectant there is no breeze to stir the feathers strapped to his arms strapped to his back bright colours muted by the roar of the sun feathers passed down by ancestors from ancestors to ancestors ancient feathers of his totem now protected by interlopers' law Swift Eagle stands proud tall and straight an arrow aimed at the heart of the sun poised waiting ready to fly his father's fingers weathered and wise teach the taut skin of the drum know the rhythm know the heartbeat know the earthbeat his father's voice rises and falls an undulating chant cooling the arid air singing up a draft, a breeze, a wind the crowd is still, silent, fading, gone he has sung them out of being Swift Eagle spreads his arms... ...i spread my wings and soar upon the song my brother Sun casts my shadow far below i see it swoop over the dry plains i see it soar over the mountain peaks i see it glide over the cool waters i lift my head i cry my exultation i cry my freedom my wings gather the wind and lift me higher Mother Earth smiles below as i pierce the blue skies the rhythm of life beats within my head within my heart within my soul i fly i am free i am eagle i am Swift Eagle.... ... the song has finished the echoes of the drum's voice are absorbed by the rock walls the crowd are reality again Swift Eagle stands with his arms by his side and lets the waves of appreciation break upon his proud humbleness on the ground behind him the sun of his ancestors casts a shadow of his soul an eagle spreads its wings and soars -Tim Patterson "Professor Goddard does not know the relation between action and reaction and the need to have something better than a vacuum against which to react. He seems to lack the basic knowledge ladled out daily in high schools." -- 1921 New York Times editorial about Robert Goddard's revolutionary rocket work. A Ram Amongst the Briers ------------------------ The diesel drones, an airplane roars, Those cicadas saw me with wings' screams And the bleating gulls encircle. Sleepy-time for a drugged Lord Nodding, ears a-buzz, in heat's humid Comforter of the August afternoon. From out this distant sky a bird Warbles unseen, from the far east or west, Noting its presence to none of its own. Some incongruence of lush and worn, Some quiet craziness askew in unstraight lines, Some stench, some floridity, freshly spoiled. Quite quickly, there's a stillness, A rest, of silent counting, That cushions the two cacophonies - Plunge of life and death's eternity, The hills, ravines, smoothed to flat Monotony. Once remembered Sweet, sour pain - truest, fullest identity. ------- In memory of Christopher Meyer, abducted and killed August 7, 1995 near Kankakee, Illinois; dead at the age of ten years of multiple stab wounds. The suspect arrested, Timothy Buss, age 27, was recently released from a prison term for the killing of 5 year old Tara Sue Huffman, fourteen years earlier. Title from story of Abraham and Isaac:"a ram amongst the briers" was given to die instead of the child. See http://homepage.interaccess.com/~alemaj/rambrier.htm A list of links to Child Abuse, Missing Children, and Child Rights sites. *All rights to all of these pieces are solely retained by the author. Please see our contacts page for information on how to contact them. 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