[[[[[[[[ [[[[[[[ [[[[[[[ [[ [[ [[[[[[[[ [[ [[ [[ [ [[ [[ [[ [ [[[ [[[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [ [ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[[[ [[ [ [[ [[ [[[[[ [[ [[ [[ [[[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [ [[ [[ [ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[[[[[[[ [[[[[[[ [[[[[[ [[ [[ [[[[[[[[ [[ [[ [[[[[[[[ [[[[[[[[ [[[[[[[ [[[[[[ [[[[[[[[ [[[[[[[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[[[[[ [[[ [[ [[[[[[ [[ [[[[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [[ [ [[ [[[[[[[[ [[[[[[[[ [[[[[[[ [[ [[ [[[[[[[[ [[[[[[ I S S U E # 9: F E B R U A R Y 1 9 9 6 ============================================================================= DJ Johnson.................Enitor. EDnitor..EDITOR! DAMN! Louise Johnson.............Assistant Editor Keeper Of The Debris Jim Andrews................Web Site Editor Brainstormin' Buddy coLeSLaw...................Artist/Trippin' Dude - The Cosmik Writers - Jim Andrews..................Urbania (On Vacation) coLeSLAw.....................Record Reviews Drew Feinberg................Drew's Views (On Vacation Too) David Fenigsohn..............Music & Film Steven Leith.................Political & Between Zero & One Steve Marshall...............Music & Record Reviews The Platterpuss..............Record Reviews And special guest writer Joseph M. Knapp, who wrote the Bob Dole piece. Thanks, Joe! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- T A B L E O F C O N T E N T S EDITOR'S NOTES: Details of a project that might just be of interest to anyone who is a total fanatic about music (like the editor!) GARAGE SHOCKER: The annual Garage Shock event is one happening that won't be happening this year. Read the details. LABELLED - DIONYSUS/HELL YEAH!: We interview Lee Joseph, the main dude at these great labels. UP FROM THE UNDERGROUND: David Fenigsohn takes a look at the history of The Velvet Underground and their recent box set as well. SCARY BOB'S BIG DAY: Joseph M. Knapp's frightening vision of what an inagural address by Bob "Senator Gridlock" Dole might be like. Let us hope it never comes to this! BOOK REVIEW: Guitar buffs will want to check out this one--Stellas And Stratocasters, by Willie Moseley. RECORD REVIEWS: Another big ol' vat of juicy pop, punk and surf, plus something you never thought you'd see here...A pair of country reviews! No no no, put down the damned gun! 'Tain't no Garth Brooks garbagio! I'm talkin' the legit stuff! BETWEEN ZERO AND ONE: Steven Leith extends his finger toward the wonderful public servants who want to scrap cyberspace. DJ RANTS: This month, he's going on about...baseball? THE DEBRIS FIELD: A random scattering of stuff, items & things! HOW TO CONTACT US: And where to find free clinics to help you after you do. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- EDITOR'S NOTES By DJ Johnson Do you remember the last time you discovered a new musical love? If you're anything like me, it's almost like starting a romantic relationship. The initial discovery, the feeling of craving more and more contact, the pepper spray, the restraining order... Or maybe you're less obsessive than I am and you just go out and buy a few CDs. That's fine, too, I guess. It's just a matter of personal style. Right now, thanks to a set of CDs I received for review, I'm falling in love with bluegrass music. Sounds great in shuffle mode with The Brood, Man Or Astro-Man and Spinal Tap, too. I don't know much about this type of music, though, and I want to fix that as quickly as possible. So where do I go? Wouldn't it be great if there was a homepage out there on the World Wide Web that contained a table of contents listing every genre from Acid Jazz to Zydeco? Where you could find sub listings under each that would link you to other homepages that either educated you about that music's history or offered you audio samples, and then gave you several pages of links to more specific pages dedicated to various bands. Sounds good to me. Well, it's going to happen. Plans are under way. Several people are currently brainstorming and creating the outline of what we hope will become a playground for the true music fanatic. The desire is that it will be an ever-growing jumping off point where you can easily learn all about any genre of music on a whim. Say you're a garage fan, and you've heard of Mod music but you don't have a clue as to what it really is. You click on MOD, and you get a menu that offers links to sites that define the genre or teach the history, sites owned by clothing boutiques that sell Mod gear, motor scooter companies, and homepages for bands like The Small Faces and The Who. You could lose yourself for hours surfing and learning. Imagine you've just heard your first Bob Marley record and you want to know more about Reggae. Jump to Reggae, click on "Educational Sites" and go learn about the history, the Rastafarian religion and even find dictionaries that define the many words used in Reggae that you never heard before. Now you begin to see the value of a site like this. And the best part is that the main site is simply a collection of links. What makes it all work is the cooperation of the Net community. During this initial phase, we're researching WWW sites so we can link to them properly. There will eventually be more categories than even we can imagine at the moment, but here are a few of the things we're sure we'll need. WE NEED TO FIND... * Sites that educate about a genre. (Articles, glossaries, FAQ's, etc.) * Universities' sites where people can get formal educations online * Artist Homepages. (Yes, this will be a huge list) * Sites that are dedicated to music of any genre in specific geographical regions (Could be anything from the steel drum bands of Jamaica to the punk bands of Norway) * Sites that sell music of specific genres * Sites that sell non-musical supplies that are part of the lifestyle surrounding a genre (such as the motor scooter shops for mod fans) * Online zines that relate to music, including ascii-only e-mail zines, for which we will provide mailto buttons so people can subscribe. * Recording studio sites * Music publishing sites * Any sites having anything to do with the business end of music * Lyric archives * Midi archives * Sites for musical instrument manufacturing companies * Sites where you can learn how to play instruments or learn songs on the instruments you already know how to play (such as sites that have guitar and bass tab) * And finally, addresses of e-mail lists that might not be on the Big List Of Music E-Mail Lists. We'd appreciate your help with this project. Send us the URL's (WWW addresses) you know of that you think fit our needs via email to moonbaby@serv.net. We think this is something most of you will love messin' around with, because we know WE will. Please send us e-mail if you have some ideas to share, as well. That's about it. Enjoy the issue! DJ Johnson Editor ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- GARAGE SHOCKER! - 1996 GARAGE SHOCK CANCELLED Dave Crider, owner of Estrus Records and singer/guitarist of The Mono Men, will announce in the next Sir Estrus Quarterly news letter that there will be no Garage Shock '96. The yearly event is considered one of the most important festivals by fans of garage and surf music. Many would say it is THE most important. People come from all over America and even beyond, flocking to Bellingham, Washington, to attend the nightly shows, hang out in the ticket lines and more importantly at the motels and hotels surrounding the 3B tavern. Bands like Man Or Astro-Man, Impala, Dead Moon, Southern Culture On The Skids, Supersnazz and The Makers play to packed houses at the 3B and then hang out with the throng at the motels after the show. It's a scene. This year, your travel plans will have to be cancelled. "I felt like I'd earned a year off," says Crider. "I'm going to the Indy 500." When asked if the Mono Men's touring schedule had anything to do with the decision, Crider replied "No, but I'll admit that it will make getting the Nomads/Mono Men tour together for this summer less stressful." When was the decision made? "About two weeks ago, but I'd been considering this for some time." Is this the end of an era? Not according to Crider, who says that it's simply a year off and that you can make your travel plans for '97. "Garage Shock '97 will happen, and as it's the label's 10 year mark, I plan on havin' one hell of a blowout." What does he plan to do instead of Garage Shock this year? "More heats of the Estrus Invitationals are planned, but nothing firm yet." So there you have it. Cancel the airline tickets and the hotel reservations for '96, but start planning for the big party in '97. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- LABELLED: DIONYSUS/HELL YEAH RECORDS Lee Joseph interviewed by DJ Johnson * * * * Garage music is forever being called "a dying form." Funny thing is it never really seems to die. It's changed from time to time, but the chief elements have remained. When Lee Joseph released the first record on his Dionysus label, a 1983 single by Yard Trauma, a tradition of outstanding garage, surf and punk was born. Dionysus and its younger sibling, Hell Yeah!, continue to provide homes for great bands like The Brood, The Bomboras and The Boss Martians, each of which have elements of the new while preserving the best of the old sound. We decided to seek out the man who brought all these acts together. Lee took a break from his busy schedule this week and gave us this interview. * * * * Cosmik: What kind of music were you into when you were a kid? LJ: I had a lot of records as a kid. One of my brothers was a DJ in the late 50s, he took home a box of records, all kinds of stuff, rock 'n roll, r&b, et cetera. This, and of course, the obligatory children's records like Disneyland stuff, were amongst my first records. My brother liked pop-crap and...I did too for a few moments, Bobby Rydall, Paul Anka. My dad brought home another box of singles when I was in 3rd grade. Benny Goodman Eps, weird easy listening stuff. I loved Herb Alpert and The Tijuana Brass. The radio was a big influence. I grew up on AM radio, vividly remember all the great one hit garage-punk tunes. And the British groups; The Animals, Herman's Hermits, The Rolling Stones, The Who, and of course the American groups, The Monkees, The Standells, and by the time I was in 6th grade, Jimi Hendrix, Blue Cheer. AM radio was great. Where else could you hear Blue Cheer's "Summertime Blues" then Paul Mariot's Orchestra doing "Love Is Blue" in the same half hour? It's that kind of warped upbringing that makes me able to play a Martin Denny album right after hearing The Dwarves "Blood, Guts & Pussy". Cosmik: And now AM is this wasteland... Have you found any old-school AM stations out there that'll enthusiastically play a new garage record? LJ: No but I enjoy talk radio quite a bit, especially Tom Leykis! Cosmik: Was this what you always wanted to do, or did it evolve from something else? LJ: "This" meaning the record label, or this interview? Seriously, I never planned my life, I used to just live for the moment! Cosmik: Yeah, but come on, it couldn't have been like "Nothin' on TV today. Think I'll start a label." LJ: Really, it just happened! No planning, no decisions, I quite literally just walked into it! Cosmik: When was Dionysus born? LJ: The Greek God? Oh...the RECORD LABEL! Essentially, in a Humanities class, in my mind! "Dionysus...what a great name for a record label." Little did I know that no one could pronounce it, let alone know what the hell it means. Anyway, the first time the name was used was on the first Yard Trauma single, "Some People", released in November of 1983 or so. The label was a logical extension of a cassette only label I ran in Tucson during '81-'83. Some strange and diverse sounds came out on the tape label, about 20 titles. Now, I don't even have half of 'em for myself! Cosmik: What about the other half? Is this something we might be hearing on a comp release someday? LJ: No, the stuff is way dated, way local, I don't really care to dredge that stuff up. I haven't even spoken to most of the people on those recordings for over a decade! Cosmik: How long did it take to build your reputation? I know it's an ongoing thing, but when would you say people started to really know the name Dionysus? LJ: The fans...early on. '85 or so. It's funny, the name is just now starting to get recognition. The rest of the world? Who knows? Cosmik: What were some of your early releases? LJ: Yard Trauma, Thee Fourgiven, The Cynics, The Untold Fables, The Beguiled, The Marshmallow Overcoat... Cosmik: What were you going for? Did you have a philosophy for the label? LJ: When I started doing records, I was fed up with contemporary music. Goth...ugh, metal...ugh...hardcore...got burned on it. I was listening to old stuff...50s, 60s...and put out bands that were INSPIRED by 60s garage mania with a punk kinda edge. Cosmik: So here it is ten or fifteen years later...Are you still excited by garage now that it's your business? LJ: Yeah, if the music makes me feel good or rotten or makes me wanna drive fast or get drunk or stomp or fuck! Cosmik: What bands do you have currently? LJ: The Bomboras, The Boss Martians, Hot Damn, Thorazine, and some more.... Cosmik: Is there a particular band that you think epitomises the Dionysus sound? LJ: Nope! Cosmik: Well then let me rephrase it... Is there a band or bands from the 60s that were a big influence on you that you would say gave you a sound to shoot for with your label, or was the sound another unplanned thing? LJ: Definitely an unplanned thing. I love like the old Goldstar sound, the Kaiser Aluminium Dome sound on all the old Arthur Lyman records, the sound of the old Capitol studio as captured on everything from Gene Vincent to Yma Sumac and Baxter records, or the sound of the old Liberty records, with the reel-to-reel tape echo from hell. It would be near impossible to capture any of this on my records so I just go with what we get! Currently we are using an old plate reverb, an old Op-Amp board, an early 70s 16 track and a late 60s eight track machine. I master my vinyl at a place that has an old Scully lathe that was at Capitol in the 50s. We cut with old Westrec heads. And then sometimes, the bands just give us the tapes they recorded! Cosmik: Describe the overall scene at Dionysus. Who all is involved and what do they do? LJ: Aime Elkins,my beautiful best friend and future wife, "runs" the label. She does publicity, press promotion and a bit of marketing. Zebra does mail-order, some marieting and radio promotion. I take care of production on a very part time basis as I am the buyer and vice-president of anti-inc.! I was doing the checkbook and bills, but Aime just took that over a few weeks ago (thank you!) Cosmik: "Zebra" as in the leader of Hot Damn? I ask as if there are ten people named Zebra in my neighbourhood alone... LJ: Yes, of course! Cosmik: Did she already have the band happening when she started working for you, or was it the other way around? LJ: We've known each other for about 11 years. We were married at one time. Cosmik: How do bands usually wind up on the label? Do you do your own scouting? LJ: The occasional demo catches our attention. Sometimes I'll see a group that knocks me out. Friends bands that I like. Cosmik: Do you get involved with your bands' tours, like going out on the road, making arrangements, stuff like that? LJ: For our "signed" bands, we do publicity and make sure that the press and stores on the tour route know the band is coming and have their releases, et cetera. We don't handle any of the touring arrangements as that is up to the band and their booking agent... Cosmik: Is there a particular aspect of the business you get into more than others? LJ: Coordinating the art, overseeing the production, recording, mastering. Making sure that the test pressings and CDR's sound great! Cosmik: When you say "overseeing..." do you mean from an administrative capacity, or do you ever sit down at the recording console and get into all of the tweaking and fader riding and technical nuts and bolts of the operation? LJ: Somewhere in between the administrative, the aesthetic and the technical! Cosmik: How 'bout this...is there any necessary aspect that you really hate? LJ: Nothing except when there is miscommunication between...ourselves and others. It doesn't happen very often but when it does...it sucks! Cosmik: You mean like bands thinking they're being screwed or distributors thinking you're not keeping your word? That seems to be unavoidable in this business... LJ: No, just little problems, I can't even think of an example to give you off the top of my head. Cosmik: Who is out there now that you'd like to work with? LJ: I'm working with them! Cosmik: Why did you start Hell Yeah Records? LJ: When the "garage" bands dried up and there was a lot of cool non-60s music happening in the 80s, we released some records that...fans of Dionysus didn't dig. At the same time, I'm sure that a lot of others would have liked the records but..they couldn't get past the name Dionysus cause they expected a 60s sound. Stuff like Kings Of Oblivion, Trash Can School, Dana Lynn, Lance Kaufman, Axel Grinders, later Yard Trauma... So, we decided to get a new identity for the release of these kinds of records. Cosmik: Hot Damn is an unusual band, to say the least... Is it a challenge to promote a band that plays, I don't know, porn-punk? LJ: Aime has no real problems promoting the group. To say the least, they rock like crazy! They get either great or totally shitty reviews. The people who pan 'em just don't get it...The band LOVES the bad reviews though! Cosmik: Do you have any other bands that play similar stuff? LJ: Before they went off to a major label, Butt Trumpet. Fearless Leader were pretty nasty. We did singles with Woodpussy and Honk If Yer Horny. Hell Yeah has it's porn-punk moments! Cosmik: Any upcoming projects you can talk about yet? LJ: Thorazine from Philly, the reissue of "Voodoo," a brilliant "exotica" album from '59, second albums from The Bomboras, Hot Damn, The Boss Martians. A compilation of East LA stuff from the 60s, real early (1975) Dead Boys tracks..... Cosmik: With all the great stuff you've put out over the years, your vaults must be stuffed. Any chance we might see a Dionysus anthology CD or maybe even box set soon? LJ: We are seriously thinking about putting together a comp of our fave tracks from the last couple of years, more as a promotional tool than an anthology! I'm not interested in digging into my own archives as we are thinking ahead at this point in time! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- UP FROM THE UNDERGROUND the Velvet Underground - "Peel Slowly and See" Reviewed by David Fenigsohn For most, the Velvet Underground remain a mystery. In five years in the late sixties a band cut four records, which hardly anyone heard at the time and few have heard since. Concerts were erratic and poorly attended. Musicianship was often spotty, harmonies were off key, rhythms erratic, and lyrics nonsensical. And somehow this band is widely credited with changing the face of rock and roll forever. "Peel Slowly and See", a comprehensive five disc box set of the Velvet Underground's complete studio work, as well as dozens of live and previously unreleased tracks, does little to clear up the mystery of VU's significance or appeal. What it does do is provide fans and the uninitiated alike an exhaustive amount of fascinating material, a glimpse of their creative process, and a history and context for their groundbreaking work. Through an eighty five page book, a wealth of old and new material, and beautiful packaging, "Peel Slowly and See" is a definitive history of a seminal band whose influences still are felt in nearly every aspect of today's "alternative rock." The Velvet Underground, named after a long forgotten sado-masochism book, formed in 1965. Lou Reed, then just out of college and working in a song factory cranking out disposable doo-wop singles, met John Cale. Cale, already deeply entrenched in experimental music, was a in the process of revolutionizing a decidedly un-rock and roll instrument-- the viola. Reed exposed Cale to his other writing, including soon to be Velvet classics such as "Heroin", and the two decided to form a band. A friend of Reed's, guitarist Sterling Morrison, was invited to join as well, and the Velvets were born. The box set picks up not long after that. The first disc is previously unavailable demos of the three collaborating in Cale's apartment. The sound quality is poor, and the tapes very repetitive, but the songs already display Reed's dark genius. "Venus in Furs," a ode to the dark side of sexuality, is an embryo--a gentle folk-song basis of what would a short time later be reworked as one of the Velvet's most powerful works. The box set provides several versions of these songs with only slight differences in tempo. While three or four consecutive versions of the same song is clearly overkill for all but the most devoted fan, it is hard to fault the box set for it's thoroughness. The fist disc also provides similar treatment for VU staples "Waiting For My Man" and "All Tomorrow's Parties", multiple versions simultaneously serving as overkill and a fascinating look at the evolution of classic tracks. "Heroin" is already complete, and short of the poor sound quality, could be substituted for the album version. The real gem here is "Prominent Man", a snarling Dylan rip-off that somehow got dropped from the band's catalog never to re-emerge. In 1965, prior to recording their first album, the VU parted ways with original drummer Angus MacLise (who joins Pete Best in the category of poor career moves) and invited a friend of Morrison's, Maureen Tucker, to serve as drummer. Tucker provided a ground for the band's already electric but meandering sounds of discord. Now able to play live, the band took up residency at the appropriately named Caf E9 Bizarre. Soon after they were fired for playing songs such as "Black Angels' Death Song", but not before they impressed pop artist Andy Warhol. Warhol, already on the way to becoming a legend himself, would be a key figure in the Velvet's future. Warhol invited the Velvets to be the house band at his traveling freak show titled "Exploding Plastic Inevitable" where they met the weirdest New York in the late sixties had to offer, and blended in seamlessly. Warhol introduced the Velvets to a beautiful Hungarian actress/singer named Nico, whose angelic voice provided a startling contrast to Cale's violent viola bursts and Reed's lyrics of perversion and drug abuse. Though at first the band resisted the idea, Warhol managed to combine his favorite talent and installed Nico as a lead singer, if not full band member. Warhol designed a peelable banana for an album cover, and soon after he took the helm as producer of the Velvet's now historical debut, The Velvet Underground and Nico. Disc two opens with their first official release, the single "All Tomorrow's Parties", which finds Nico at her cold but seductive best. The disc also includes their entire debut album. Nearly thirty years later, "The Velvet Underground And Nico" remains a powerful reworking of sound which challenged the norms of conventional rock music. The album's best songs-- "I'll Be Your Mirror" and "Femme Fatale" revel in the contrasts between beauty and horror, tearing apart gentle melodies with bursts of tuneless discord. Reed's static vocals stand in sharp contrast to Nico's smooth delivery, but both singers are perfectly suited for the haunting material. While countless bands claim the Velvets as influences, none have captured the mystery and contrast of this debut. The booklet reveals part of the sound is due to bizarre tunings the band was experimenting with, as the Velvets were abandoning the traditional limitations of their respective instruments. The second disc continues with a live version of the unreleased "Melody Laughter" in which the band experiment with improv for unique if not successful results. The final track "Chelsea Girls" is from Nico's solo work and, though penned by Reed, provides a view of Nico's more traditional sensibilities outside of the VU. Verve Records, who had signed the VU primarily due to their connections with Warhol, was unsure what to do with the volatile, inaccessible final product. They sat on the record for nearly a year before finally releasing it in 1967 with little-to-no support. It promptly disappeared, to the surprise of no one. By this time the VU were at work on their follow-up "White Light/White Heat", which makes up the body of the third disc of the set. Warhol's circus like atmosphere came to a close, as did his association with the band. At the same time, the departure of Nico liberated the band from any commercial possibilities they might have had. The disc opens with a five song demo recorded in between the band's two albums, and clearly finds them at a transitional point. Only one of the songs from the demos, "Here She Comes Now," would later make it on to the follow-up album, and then only after a dramatic reworking. Three of the songs, "There Is No Reason," "It's All Right" and "I'm Not Sorry" are surprisingly folky in nature, without the tearing chords of the work that was to follow immediately after. Two live tracks, "Guess I'm Falling In Love" and "Brooker T," previously available on bootlegs, prove the VU could impersonate a normal band if they wanted to. While acts such as Sonic Youth have adjusted the nineties ear to jarring, clashing sounds of experimental music, the VU defined the genre with "White Light/White Heat". If "The Velvet Underground and Nico" confused listeners, "White Light/White Heat" sounds as if it was designed to agitate and disturb the audience. The essence of the album is "Sister Ray", a feedback laden distorted sonic assault via guitar from Reed, and rhythmless sneak attacks on "I Heard Her Call My Name". The lyrics match the tone of the album, with vague descriptions of taboo surgical procedures and tragic but farcical love songs. Verve released the record in good faith to typically abysmal sales. While the album was a perfect summation of its era, it was certainly not a message people were willing to hear until much, much later. The second studio album represents a close to one half of the Velvets' history. Their future work would have a much different tone--though not nearly as ground breaking as the first segment of their career, it is infinitely more listenable, and demonstrates a dramatic leap in songwriting. Their previous work had defied the rules of songwriting, while future work would aim not to destroy but to subvert and expand upon rock music. It is unclear whether the departure of John Cale in 1968 caused or was a result of this shift in VU's music. Cale was Reed's creative equal, and his voice may have an even greater influence on what the Velvets were for the first few years. The two leaders' strong personalities and eccentricities gave birth to dramatic ground breaking material, but their partnership was unable to sustain the frustrations of the band's obscurity and the power of each other's musical visions. The third disc shifts after "White Light/White Heat". The disc's final three songs, with Cale, are experiments as the band searches for a sound, playing around with Motown on "Temptation Inside Your Heart," and trying a lonesome ballad, "Stephanie Says", both of which would later show up on a 1985 collection of outtakes titled "VU." Following Cale's departure, the Velvets were joined by Doug Yule on bass, a competent musician but one who would not challenge Reed's now dominant role. They entered the studio in 1968, having incorporated Yule into the mix and, amazingly enough, developed a tiny but devoted following through the occasional tour and the openness of FM radio at the time. The resulting album, their self titled third release, is the exact opposite of "White Light/White Heat", as the band revels in gentle acoustic guitars and intimate, subtle arrangements. The forth disc sets the tone with a live version of "What Goes On", which would change only slightly from it's studio version. "The Velvet Underground" begins with "Candy Says". Reed's lyrics about a despondent transvestite echo a familiar theme for the band, but the arrangement, with Yule's undistinguished lead vocals and Morrison's remarkably restrained guitar work, show the change in their approach. "The Velvet Underground" also marked the vocal debut of Tucker, who competently works her way through "After Hours." But the album clearly belongs to Reed--his beautiful ballad "Pale Blue Eye" shows a depth and maturity never before seen in the band's work, and the song is still an emotional powder keg. "Beginning to See the Light" has an optimism that would have been unthinkable in the band's work just a year earlier. And the whole album emphasizes lyrics and song structure with strumming 12-string guitars highlighting Reed's new found pride in the craft of songwriting. Not that the band had given up experimenting-- the album ends with a dreadful, nine minute spoken work track, "Murder Mystery". The track consists of two opposing, unintelligible poems, and is one of the band's few complete musical failures. Disc four continues with five more tracks recorded from the various quick trips to the studio following the completion of "The Velvet Underground", all of which surfaced on "VU". Consistent with the band's between-album material, they experiment with various sounds--they try a country feel to "One of these Days" and straight ahead rock and roll on "Foggy Notion." These tracks lack the focus that Reed would bring to what would turn out to be their swan song, "Loaded.". Two never before available tracks, "It's Just Too Much" and "Countless From Hong Kong," complete the disc. Ironically, The Velvet Underground's most successful and arguably best album came as they were falling apart. Disc five begins with "Loaded", the Velvet's most complicated album. "Loaded" gave the world the two tracks for which The Velvet Underground are primarily remembered-- "Sweet Jane" and "Rock and Roll". Drummer Tucker left due to a pregnancy and was replaced by the rather generic Billy Yule, brother of Doug. The Velvet's pioneering was a thing of the past, but Reed's songwriting had never been better. Track after track are dramatic musical progressions from the tension of "New Age" to the excitement of "Head Held High". And after all those years, Reed finally wrote some singles. "Rock and Roll" is an infectious, hummable single that was ready for radio. After years of singing about the dark underbelly of the urban nightmare, Reeds' strongest vocals are on a simple song about the redemptive powers of good old rock and roll music. It's as if when the rest of the world left behind the positive feelings of the late sixties, Reed discovered them and incorporated them into his music. Disc five concludes "Peel Slowly and See" with a slew of late studio outtakes, most notably "Satellite of Love", long known as one of Reed's finest solo works but never before heard as a Velvet Underground song. Other standouts include "Ride Into the Sun", also a solo Reed favorite, along with "Ocean" (featuring the brief return of Cale) and "I Love You". All of these tracks continue in Reed's new vein of mature, more familiar song writing that is inconsistent with the spirit of the Velvet Underground. Given the sound of these outtakes, it is not surprising the band dissolved, as Reed was no longer of the spirit he once was. While his solo work is no less respectable or impressive, it is of a different nature and a different time than what he created with the Velvet Underground. The Velvet Underground will never sell as many records as the Beatles or the Stones, Led Zepplin, or the Who. They are destined to remain a cult favorite, the passion of a select few. Part of this was by design--it was never their intent to reach the mainstream, rather to expand the border of the fringe. Over time, their influence has filtered down, often through others who were enchanted with what they heard and went on to form band's that received much wider audiences, such as REM and Nirvana. "Peel Slowly and See" will not serve to expand the band's legacy. While the outtakes and unreleased material are riveting, they confirm rather than establish the band's genius. Instead, this box set does a masterful job of encapsulating and explaining the band, providing a context for their work. Sales of the set are reported to be better than expected--whether from die hard fans or a new generation of followers remains to be seen. The Velvet Underground are far too significant a band to fade away. "Peel Slowly and See" ensures their legacy will be available and presented in it's best form, which is a noble achievement in and of itself. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- The OH DEAR GOD, PLEASE DON'T LET IT BE SO!!! Dept. Reluctantly Presents... SCARY BOB'S BIG DAY! The Inaugural Address we pray need never be given. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- President Robert Dole, Inaugural Address, January 20, 1997 We observe today not a celebration of freedom but a victory of party-- symbolizing an end as well as a means--signifying an historic realignment as well as the Democratic Party's worst nightmare. For I have sworn before you and Almighty God the same Contract On America that Newt prescribed nearly two years and three quarters ago. The world is very different now. For the freshmen congressman holds in his mortal hands the power to abolish all remnants of the New Deal, New Frontier and Great Society and all forms of corporate taxation. And yet, the same reactionary beliefs for which the 104th Congress fought are still held up in conference committees today--the belief that the entitlements of the needy come not from the generosity of the state but from the hand of your local church, synagogue or civic association. We dare not forget today that we are the heirs of that first revolution. Let the word go forth from this time and place, to friend and foe alike, that the torch has been passed back to the old generation of Americans--born near the turn of the century, tempered by FDR, disciplined by a hard and bitter half-century of Democrat hegemony, proud of our ancient inheritances--and unwilling to witness or permit the slow undoing of those capital gains to which this party has always been committed, and to which we are committed today at home and around the world. Let every pointy-headed pundit know, whether he wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any lobbyist, support any well-known Australian media mogul, oppose any ill-conceived ethics rules, to counter the survival and the success of liberalism. This much we pledge--and more. To those old Democratic boll weevils in the South whose cultural and spiritual origins we lately share, we pledge the loyalty of friends of convenience. United, there is little we cannot do to end affirmative action as we know it. Divided, there is little we can do--for we dare not meet a powerful constituency at odds and split asunder. To those new states whom we welcome to the ranks of the GOP, we pledge our word that one form of party machinery shall not have passed away merely to be replaced by a far more iron tyranny. We shall not always expect to find them supporting our view. But we shall always hope to find them strongly supporting their own freedom--and to remember that in the past, those who foolishly sought power by riding the coattails of Democrats ended up being grilled by Alphonse D'Amato. To those peoples in the huts and villages of half the globe struggling to break the bonds of mass misery, we pledge our best efforts to help their leaders arm themselves, for whatever period is required, as long as it is for a time certain with a clear exit strategy--not because we will get the business, not because we seek votes, but because it is the right thing to do. If a free society cannot exploit the many who are poor, it cannot support the few who are rich. All this will not be finished in the first one hundred days. Nor will it be finished in the first one thousand days, nor in the life of this administration, nor even perhaps in our lifetime on this planet. But remember the miracle of compound interest and let us begin. In your hands, my fellow citizens, more than mine, will rest the final success or failure of our course. Since this country was founded, each generation of Americans has been summoned to protect the interests of multi-national corporations. The graves of young Americans who answered the call to service surround the globe. But it's best not to dwell on the negative. Now the trumpet summons us again--not as a call to bear arms, though arms we have--not as a call to battle, though embattled we are--but as a call to bear the burden of a long twilight struggle, year in year out, "rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation"--a struggle against the common enemies of man: welfare, income taxes, Democrats, and liberalism itself. Can we forge against these enemies a grand and global alliance, North and South, East and West, that can assure a more fruitful life for all investors? Will you join in that historic effort? And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you--try to squeeze it out of your state, county or local municipality. My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what America might do to you. Finally, whether you are citizens of the several and miscellaneous states of America or citizens of the world, ask of us here the same high standards of strength and sacrifice which we ask of you. With a good conscience our only sure deficit, with the nightly sound bite the final judge of our deeds, let us go forth to exploit the land we love, asking His blessing and His help, but knowing that here on earth God's work must truly be handled by the free market, if at all. (applause) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- BOOK REVIEW: "STELLAS AND STRATOCASTERS" By Willie G. Moseley From Vintage Guitar Books Review by DJ Johnson Willie G. Moseley is a writer for Vintage Guitar Magazine, and over the years he has done some outstanding columns, interviews and articles. "Stellas and Stratocasters" gathers many of the best into one great book. Like the other Vintage Guitar book I recently reviewed (Guitar Stories), it is very hard for a real guitar freak to put this down. Moseley writes about guitar from a number of angles. In one column he chronicles the detective work he did after finding a Harmony Stratotone in a pawn shop. The guitar had a lot of what seemed to be stock equipment that shouldn't have been on that model. In another article, Moseley lists the guitars and basses that the various bands were using at Woodstock. He doesn't buy into all the hype about Woodstock being the most important event of that generation, and he tells you so. In fact, he isn't shy about saying how he feels on any subject. My personal favorite remark is when he mentions "Joan 'Pinko' Baez." Other topics in this first section of the book include the maddening Hollywood practice of using non-musicians to portray musicians in film and the even more maddening practice of using 1978 guitars in scenes depicting concerts in 1955. That pisses me off, too. I keep waiting for the day some hairbrained director puts a Strat with Van Halen pin-stripes in the hands of someone playing Eddie Cochrane. Like me (and probably you), Moseley shakes his head at these dorks. There are also several articles about various guitar factories and custom shops, including Gibson, Fender and Rickenbacker's. When he takes you into the Rickenbacker Museum, it's drool-cup time. My only complaint here is that the photographs are black and white. I wish they had splurged just a bit. I suspect these photos are from the original columns, though, and I suppose you have to cut corners somewhere in a month to month situation. Still, I would love to see what that 1928 Frying Pan model looks like in full color. The second section contains 41 interviews with great players that also happen to collect guitars (or at least have a few choice vintage ones). Among the interviewees are Dick Dale, Rick Nielson, Tim Bogart, Scotty Anderson, Teisco Del Rey, Eric Johnson, Noel Redding and Randy Bachman. There are a lot of photographs in each section, but I think my favorites are the ones of peoples private collections. We impoverished guitarists always love to dream, and this is certainly the stuff dreams are made of. Show of hands, please...how many of you real players wouldn't kill for Rick Nielson's guitar collection? Oooone...two...okay, two. And two of those are liars. One of the revelations of the Nielson interview is the fact that he doesn't really have a guitar tech on the road with him who is paid to go looking for collectible guitars. So much for another of my long-held beliefs. The next section of "Stellas And Stratocasters" deals with the guitar business through columns about guitar shows and how to behave at them. Moseley believes in a certain code of conduct, and he doesn't mind telling you how to follow it. The final section is filled with miscellaneous columns that didn't fit elsewhere in the book, including two farewells: one to Semie Moseley (no relation), who died shortly after the author interviewed him, and one to Toy Caldwell of The Marshall Tucker Band. "Stellas And Stratocasters" is the ultimate bathroom book for the serious guitar nut. Oh, sorry...taboo subject, right? Well get over it. There is such thing as a great bathroom book, and this is one. Short articles filled with vast amounts of information. You might not agree with Moseley's opinions, and boy, he does spread 'em around. And you might not be impressed with everyone he chose to interview. (Some people might think Gary Richrath of REO Speedwagon was a bit of a stretch). But it's hard to put it down, and that's the real measure. ========================================================================== [[[[[[[[ [[[[[[ [[ [[ [[[[[ [[[[[[ [[ [[ [[[[[[ [[ [[ [ [[ [[ [ [ [[ [ [[ [[ [[[[[[[[ [[[[[[ [[ [[ [ [[[[[[ [[ [ [[ [[[[[ [[ [[ [ [[[ [ [ [[[ [[[ [[ [[ [[ [[[[[[ [ [[[[[ [[[[[[ [[ [[ [[[[[[ ========================================================================== Another big ol' helping of music reviews from Steve Marshall, David Fenigsohn, Platterpuss and DJ Johnson. * * * * * * * * BIG ASS TRUCK - self titled (Upstart) Are you one of those lucky people who love all kinds of music? This might just be your next big thing. Big Ass Truck is an astonishing band from Memphis that can NOT be tied down to a particular style. While some bands seem to be desperately searching for a genre, Big Ass Truck is having a blast paying short and enlightening visits to several of them. There's really only one other band that I know of who might be comparable, and that's Brazil 2001, a band you probably haven't heard yet (But you will. Write it down.) The band is made up of two guitars, bass, drums and keyboards, PLUS a DJ who throws record-scratches into genres where you don't normally hear them. On a few tracks, they do some great hip-hop, too. Not many bands can be equally convincing at blues, funk, hip-hop, fusion and hard rock. Because they can pull this off, the album is a total mind trip. After a whirlwind tour through all of those styles, you're sitting back saying "Whoa!" but it's not over yet. Not by a long shot. Do not turn off the CD player after the 11th track. Yeah, the "mystery track" has become a cliche, but Big Ass Truck takes it deep into the left field seats by making a 5+ minute track 12 that is totally silent, followed by 3 very psychedelic tunes totalling nearly 20 minutes! The first of these tracks may be the only song ever to feature a lead chicken. These songs are apparently not available on the vinyl version. Too bad, really. This is some very cool mind-trip music. Not to say that it's particularly challenging, from a performance standpoint. It's just stream-of-conciousness musical sound, but it sure puts you into a decent trance. These bonus tracks are nothing at all like the rest of the CD, but then no two of the first 11 songs are very much alike, either. This was Big Ass Truck's self-produced and released 1994 debut album. It was picked up and re-released by Upstart a few months ago. Now that they have a strong label behind them, it'll be interesting to see where they go next. Where ever that is, I hope they don't bed down with one style. Monogamy wouldn't suit them. - (DJ Johnson) TEISCO DEL REY - Music For Lovers (Upstart) Guitarists will recognize Teisco Del Rey as "The Cheese Wizard Of The Electric Guitar." Teisco wrote a great column for Guitar Player Magazine called "Off The Wall," in which he featured a different pawn shop mutant axe each month. I enjoyed reading his columns for years before I ever heard him play a note. His writing style is, like the title says, off the wall. His personality is...well, the man is so deep in left field that he's in the cheap seats! He's my new hero. So I wasn't surprised at all to find that his music matched his wit. Not an easy task when you play instrumental music! But he does it. I know it's only February, but "Music For Lovers" might just be the instro album of 1996. Working with a gang of incredible musicians (including members of Upstart label-mates Laika & The Cosmonauts), and utilizing several of his cheesy guitars, Teisco has presented an album for the ages. I can say with absolute confidence that I will still listen to this on a regular basis twenty years from now. It has so many sounds and styles to offer. The album begins with "Seville," a surfy track which starts with cascading guitar notes before the band kicks in. Leave it to Teisco to fall into the opening track like that. Track two is "El Sleazo Chorizo," a perfect marriage of reggae bass and surf guitar, and a song with a groove that's nearly impossible to forget. The gears are shifted without warning into a cover of "Madison Time" complete with a smooth talking dance instructor who goes his own way at the end, most likely causing the dancers to trip, go into vapor lock or implode. Teisco dedicates the song to Tracy Turnblad, the character Rikki Lake played in the classic film "Hairspray." See, I just knew Teisco would have liked that flick! There go the gears again! Who would have thought to cover a trad wedding song from Carelia? "Kyla Vuotti Uuta Kuuta" is one of the most beautiful songs you'll ever hear, and you'll be picking out all the instruments in the orchestra to impress your friends, and you'll be sooooo wrong. That's mostly Teisco playing a variety of unusual axes, including his famous Guitorgan and a Mando-Guitar. The only reason I am not telling you all about the mandolins and lutes and triangles is because I have liner notes! This is one of the few tracks with any serious overdubbing going on, but as Teisco says in his notes, he doesn't figure too many people will scream out "Play Kyla Vuotti Uuta Kuuta!!" at his shows. Track six is "Second Line Limbo," and this is where the guest musicians start to make their marks. Sonny Landreth's slide guitar solo could melt glaciers. The song is a loose psychedelic jam on a Bo Diddly beat that blends into something smoother than glass, especially when Landreth kicks in with that slide solo. David Lindley would buy this record for that solo alone! The best way to describe his tone is to say...think of Santo & Johnny's 50s classic "Sleepwalk." Track seven (Oh my God, I'm doing a track by track! Do you get the impression I like this one more than the average album??) is a calypso! "Hermanos Alou" is named after Matty, Jesus and Felipe Alou, three brothers who played baseball in the 50s through the 70s. Again, Teisco lets a guest musician take the spotlight. Mitch Watkins' acoustic guitar solo is magnifique! As Teisco says in the liner notes, "I don't know how Mitch played that guitar solo, because those notes aren't on ANY of my guitars!" Track eight, "Twango," is an original surf tune that should be an instant classic, with great reverb on Teisco's Fender Jazzmaster and a sax solo deluxe by John Mills. I'll speed this thing up now, because I know you've got to get to a record store before they close. "Steel Trap" is a Link Wray tune that is rarely covered, and after you hear this you'll be wondering why more bands haven't done it. "Casbah" is one of the most interesting tracks because there are three...count 'em...three drummers going ballistic and taking turns soloing. Whoa! The drums are the focus, so much so that you might miss the fact that there's an incredible surf tune happening in there somewhere at the same time. "Werewolf" is a cover of an old Frantics tune, and it's introduced by fellow Texan Herman The German. (The screaming woman in this song should have been credited!) "Lawrence Of Arabia" converts that film's theme song into great surf track. The final track is "Sealed With A Kiss," which is done fairly traditionally, with just a hint of cheese. Teisco is a character, and it comes through on almost all of these songs. He also has a knack for choosing his cronies, and that's one of the key elements of "Music For Lovers." Great performances from guests keep it from getting the slightest bit stale. One of the ingredients I haven't mentioned yet is the secondary percussion. Lisa Pankratz, Mike Buck, Janne Haavisto and Doyle Bramhall play drums at various times, but when they're not, they're doing some wonderful work with wood blocks, shakers, congas and whatever else they can find, and it makes a huge difference. (Listen, in particular, to the background percussion during the drum solos in "Casbah.") This is a rather long review simply because I can't shut up about this record! Maybe if I just stop typing... - (DJ Johnson) THE FALLOUTS - S/T (Super Electro) This is actually a CD reissue of The Fallouts' 1992 album which many consider to be their best ever and while I certainly love their singles and outtakes compilation on Estrus, I'm rather inclined to agree. For those of you who've never heard them before, think of the early-mid 60s R&B sounds of bands like The Stones or Pretty Things combined with the all-out aggression of late 70s punk bands like The Sex Pistols or early Clash. The combination worls beautifully and songs like "Never Be The Same", "What'd I Do Wrong", "Where Did You Go" and "One More Time" oughtta appeal to hard-core garage fanatics as well as punks. (PO Box 20401, Seattle WA 98102) - (The Platterpuss) THE FLAMIN' GROOVIES - California Born And Bred (Norton) The back cover promises "23 revved up teenage blasts from the vaults" and I'd be hard pressed to come up with a more apt description of the goings-ons contained on this shiny little biscuit. Basically, whatcha got here are outtakes from the "Teenage Head" sessions, a few accoustic demos for the "Flamingo" album, some rehearsal tapes and a handful of live tracks, all featuring the original Loney/Jordan lineup. At the time they were recorded, none of these tracks were intended for release and, while longtime Groovie fans will be very familiar with the original, more polished versions of classics like "Evil Hearted Ada", "Rockin Pneumonia And The Boogie Woogie Flu', "Comin' After Me", "Sweet Roll Me On Down" and "Headin' For The Texas Border", these rougher renditions provide a fascinating insight into one of the best Rock & Roll bands of all time. (Box 646, Cooper Station, NYC NY 10003) - (The Platterpuss) GOLDEN SMOG - down by the old mainstream (Rykodisc) Golden Smog would have a lot going for them even without a great album. All too many "Supergroups" are marketing ploys, record company creations that rack up huge sales of inferior work based on the past work of various band members. Golden Smog are the opposite--a group of friends cranking out cover songs in Minneapolis bars. And oh yeah, the friends have day jobs as band members of such acts as Soul Asylum, the Jayhawks and Wilco. When they finally got around to releasing an album of original material, they chose an indie label none of the band members are affiliated with. And finally, to ensure as low a profile as possible, their real names don't appear anywhere on the album. For the record Golden Smog are Gary Louris and Marc Perlman (The Jayhawks), Dan Murphy (Soul Asylum), Jeff Tweedy (Wilco), Kraig Johnson (Run Westy Run), and drummer Noah Levy. And their album "down by the old mainstream" is a loose, rollicking collection of country-rock gems. The skilled musicianship--well-timed Hammond organ fills, and a perfect blending of acoustic and electric guitars--comes as no surprise. The vocals are also familiar to fans, and evenly divided between members, each who brings a unique and expressive voice to the material. The pleasant surprise is in the well-crafted songwriting. This is not an album of B-side rejects from other bands, nor toss-offs written on the way to the studio. Each number is a melodic tune, full of catchy choruses, seamless bridges and poetic lyrics. Particularly impressive as a songwriter is Dan Murphy--in Soul Asylum he plays second fiddle, while in Golden Smog he displays a knack for memorable riffs. His melancholy "Ill Fated" is the album's strongest track, a textbook combination of the best elements of country and rock in one three minute jam session. Other strong contributions come from Tweedy, formerly of Uncle Tupelo, who has been a key part of great material from three different acts. His "Pecan Pie" is a clever and lighthearted ode to love and food, while he shows an equally effective but more serious side on "Walk Where He Walked." Golden Smog's sound, reminiscent of The Flying Burrito Brothers or the Byrds' best work, is very much in the roots rocks tradition, and they pay homage to their predecessors with a lively cover of the Faces' "Glad & Sorry." "down by the mainstream" is dedicated to the Highwaymen, an underappreciated collaboration between the godfathers of country, Waylon Jennings, Kris Kristofferson, Willie Nelson and Johnny Cash. With this album, Golden Smog have joined their ranks as one of the few all-star side projects whose album matches the work for which the band members are best known. - (David Fenigsohn) GREENHOUSE AC - Sweet Love Happy Life (Stupido Twins) Unlike a lot of my favorite bands on the Finnish music scene who draw their main inspiration from The Ramones and don't really take it all that much further, these guys have more of a metal influence while still maintaining enough of a melodic punk sound to keep me happy. They kinda remind me of a less Iggy-fied Jeff Dahl. Their latest 6-song CD EP might actually be their best yet as songs like "Crash Course", "Fell In Love, But", "Dagmar" and their cover of Eastern Dark's "Julie Is A Junkie" are all catchy as hell yet contain enough reckless energy to more than satisfy the headbanging set. (PO Box 301, 00121 Helsinki, FINLAND) - (The Platterpuss) HANNAH CRANNA - Better Lonely Days (Big Deal) While this is not what usually gets my musical rocks off, I still like listening to this collection of country-folk type pop that recalls those stoned out days of years ago listening to Poco and The Eagles. Most of the songs here have a pretty simple, easy-to-get-used-to melody, kinda sad lyrics and plaintive vocals. To be perfectly honest this is the kind of thing I listen to when I'm really depressed - usually over some unrequited love interest and luckily for me, I don't get in those moods often. They do get extra points for naming one of their more upbeat (relatively speaking) songs "Paul McCartney and Wings" and again for covering The Kinks' classic "Waterloo Sunset". You decide for yourself. - (The Platterpuss) HOT DAMN - in High Heels Slut (Hell Yeah!) Despite the inclination of some folks to dismiss them and file them under "things to be dealt with by congress," Hot Damn is a legit punk-n-roll band with power to burn. Fronted by Zebra (formerly of The Cramps) on vocals and bass and Kristina on rhythm guitar and fishnets, Hot Damn can rock your world and help you through puberty in the course of the same song. I suppose it's going to piss off the purists when I mention this, but these are two of the hottest women in rock. The songs are not coy little peek-a-boo sessions that hint at sex. They throb! "Gonna Whip it Out," for instance, doesn't mince words... "Yeah, I'm gonna suck you dry - I'm gonna tell you why - I'm gonna make it so ya wanna die. Yeah, I'm gonna take you down - and move it all around - I'm gonna do it to you on the ground. Yeah, I'm gonna piss you off and make you blow your top. I'm gonna make it so you wanna jack off." No lyric sheet was provided, so I was left to figure 'em out for myself. If these are NOT the lyrics, please don't spoil it for me, thank you. Other highlights include "Bitch With An Attitude," "My Panties Are Too Tight" and "Sex House." As you can see, they don't do flowery shit! Powerporn might just be the next big thing. And powerful it is! Kristina's guitar kicks out concrete fuzz while Allen Clark (lead guitar, formerly of Lazy Cowgirls) and Bob Lee (who still drums for Clawhammer) channel what must be the worst cases of blue balls on record into one of the most powerful sounds in punk. Zebra's voice can make you hyperventilate even if you don't look at the cover and see what she looks like. If you do decide to look at the cover, be prepared to towel off. Especially the back cover, which is a photo of what my overactive imagination would like to assume is a post-concert party between the band members. Or a table dance without a table. I don't know how many more Hot Damn albums I can take. Between this cover and the one on the new Trashwomen CD, I'm gonna need glasses soon. - (DJ Johnson) JON COUGAR CONCENTRATION CAMP - Self Titled (Second Guess Records) The CD debut of Jon Cougar Concentration Camp is pretty much what you would expect after hearing the single they put out earlier in the year-- fast and powerful with traces of snotty humor. The disc opens with a smoker called "No Way To Live," and I sure wish I could hear what he's singing. The lyrics aren't provided, and since I'm a lyric freak, I feel kind of rooked when I can't hear OR read them. I DID catch the part in "Half Assed Jedi" where he says that Luke Skywalker found out the princess was his sister and "lost a potential fuck." No BS with these guys. They cut right to the real meat of every issue, as you can see. C'mon, that's what you were thinking during "Return of The Jedi," too. In my opinion, the prime moment is their blistering cover of one of their namesake's biggest hits. John Cougar's "Hurts So Good" gets the black eye treatment in "Hertz...Sooo Good." Ain't it great when a poppy tune with a great hook is de-schmaltzed by angry punks? This is up there with Sea Monkey's "I Can See Clearly Now" for sheer nerve. J.C.C.C. isn't the first band to offer music as amphetamine, but they're certainly one of the most promising of the new crop. - (DJ Johnson) THE MAKERS - Self Titled (Estrus Records) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!! Jeez! Did anyone get the license number of that band? In just under half an hour they managed to upset my downstairs neighbors, scare my dog and break my glasses. And all this was done from inside the CD tray. This is pure electric current. No frills/deadly payload. "Little Piece Of The Action" blasts the door down and "Kind That Kills" strafes for survivors at the end. In between there are many moments of garage greatness. My pick for hottest of the hot is "I'm Not A Social Kind Of Guy," not because the riff is any better than the others, but because of that incredible stun-gun fuzz tone on the guitar! It's the perfect tone for a band with an attitude problem. (Check out the cover! For those of you reading the text version, let me explain that the cover is a very simple image...a Xerox of a hand with middle finger extended). An important thing to know about this album is that Tim Kerr (Lord High Fixers) produced. Production this sparse is an art, and Kerr's got the touch. Sparse...That's understating things a bit. It sounds like it was produced using only primitive stone tools and duct tape. Any other production technique would have squished the power out of it. As it is, this album is perfect in its imperfection. - (DJ Johnson) THE McCRACKENS - Life, Hey Mikey EP (Shredder) It seems like these guys release something new every time I turn around but if you're lookin' for some infectious punk rock with a sense of humor ala The Queers or Mr. T Exp, you'll wanna grab anything and everything you can by this fine Canadian combo. The title track is an ode to that kid in the commercial and it's the kind of record that you'll find yourself spinning over and over, it's that catchy. The 2 songs on the flip, which includes a remake of Cheap Trick's "Surrender" are also way cool making this a more than worthwhile purchase. (75 Plum Tree Lane #3, San Rafael CA 94901) - (The Platterpuss) THE MERMEN: A Glorious Lethal Euphoria (Toadophile) Jim Thomas has emerged as one of the most important guitarists of the era, and if you need proof just buy this disc. Taking surf to extremes, Thomas creates some of the most mesmerizing instro music imaginable. Bassist Allen Whitman and drummer Martyn Jones seem to have reached the perfect conclusions about what Thomas is trying to do, and they provide a powerful foundation for his turbulent soundscapes. Their skills are a perfect fit. Their previous studio release, "Food For Other Fish," was quite a bit more delicate than this one. Thomas uses feedback to tear at the heart of even the slower melodic tunes on "Euphoria," and the effect is unnerving and soothing at the same time. Through the entire album, from fast and violent to slow and dreamlike, one element remains constant; the sound of the sea. It comes from the feedback as much as the reverb -- a white noise that conjures images of violent waves smashing into rugged cliffs. From the opening distorted cries of "A Drowning Man Knows His God" to the climax of "And The Flowers They'll Bloom" an hour and 10 minutes later, "Euphoria" is a tour de force that leaves you wrung out and satisfied. That's the end of the storm, but not the end of the album. The final track is the beautiful "Brahms 3rd Movement 3rd Symphony," in which Thomas cements his claim to the throne. Beautiful and dreamlike, it is the perfect finale for "A Glorious Lethal Euphoria." This is a cohesive work of art by three outstanding musicians. - (DJ Johnson) BOBBY PARKER -- Shine Me Up (Black Top) Guitarist Bobby Parker recently released a new album for Black Top Records entitled "Shine Me Up". For those of you who may not recognize Parker's name, Bobby Parker has been known for his guitar playing for years. He's performed with Bo Diddley, and was part of the legendary Apollo Theater's house band during the 1950's. Led Zeppelin introduced him to European audiences in the 1960's. John Lennon credited Parker with providing the basic riff for Day Tripper. "Shine Me Up" is a collection of guitar-based blues tracks. The only thing keeping this CD from greatness is the horn section. It's not very well recorded, and tends to distract from the music a bit. With a stripped down, more sparse sound, this could be a great CD. The songs have a good foundation. One of the better ones, "Somebody's Comin' in My Back Door" features some especially tasty guitar work. "Splib's Groove" is another standout cut. If you like horns with your blues, definitely check out "Shine Me Up". If not, it's still a good CD that deserves a listen. - (Steve Marshall) TOM PETTY AND THE HEARTBREAKERS -- Playback 1973-1993 (MCA) This past November, MCA released a new 6CD box set from Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers entitled "Playback". A veritable gold mine for Petty fans, "Playback" contains a whopping 92 tracks - 42 of them previously unreleased. The individual CDs (each with their own title) are packaged to look like mini-albums, complete with gatefold covers & protective inner sleeves. The CDs themselves look like reel-to-reel tapes. The first three CDs chronicle Petty's career from 1976 though 1993's "Greatest Hits" album. Disc one, "The Big Jangle", features material from the band's self-titled debut through 1981's "Hard Promises" album. With such songs as "Breakdown", "Refugee", "Here Comes My Girl" and "A Woman in Love", "The Big Jangle" contains just about every early Heartbreakers tune ever played on the radio. You can really hear The Byrds' influence in Petty's music on this CD. Disc two, "Spoiled & Mistreated", covers the years 1982 through 1987. Songs like "You Got Lucky" and "Don't Come Around Here No More" find the band treading on more experimental ground. The disc also includes Petty's cover of The Byrds' "So You Want to Be a Rock & Roll Star", and the poignant 38-second instrumental Mike Campbell tune, "Mike's Life/Mike's World". The third disc, "Good Booty" finds the band in it's most successful period, 1989 through 1993. Even though The Heartbreakers don't all appear on the tracks from Full Moon Fever (arguably his best album), the album is well represented on the box's third CD. "Good Booty" also includes "Mary Jane's Last Dance" and "Christmas All Over Again". The last three CDs in "Playback" are the real gems here though. All of the tracks on these discs are previously unreleased in the U.S. Disc four, "The Other Sides", consists of fifteen B-sides, including several cover songs. The live version of "Psychotic Reaction" features drummer Stan Lynch on vocals. Other songs covered on "The Other Sides" include Nick Lowe's "Crackin' Up", and a live version of the 1959 Eddie Cochran hit, "Somethin' Else". The box's last two discs, "Through the Cracks" and "Nobody's Children", are made up of various early performances, demos, outtakes, & alternate versions. One of the highlights on the fifth disc, "Through the Cracks" is the 1974 version of "Don't Do Me Like That" performed by Mudcrutch (Petty's pre-Heartbreakers band). "Through the Cracks" also features a demo of "Stop Draggin' My Heart Around" - without Stevie Nicks, and the box set's earliest track, "On the Street" (recorded in 1973 in keyboardist Benmont Tench's parents' living room). From the 1973 Mudcrutch track, "Up in Mississippi Tonight", to the two Elvis Presley covers (recorded during sessions for the 1993 "Greatest Hits" album), the sixth disc contains a wealth of unreleased material. Also included on this CD are Petty's original versions of "Got My Mind Made Up" (later recorded by Bob Dylan) and "Ways to be Wicked" (later recorded by Lone Justice). The booklet included with the box is very informative, and chock full of rare photos. The liner notes, written by Bill Flanagan, provide a comprehensive look at the band's history. There are also extensive notes taken from various interviews with the band for each track. "Playback" is an excellent testimonial to one of America's finest bands, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. - (Steve Marshall) THE PRETENDERS -- The Isle of View (Warner/Reprise Video) The Pretenders have decided to join the ranks of the "unplugged" group of performers with their new release. While some artists (such as Aerosmith, or Pearl Jam) take the acoustic format and turn it into something really interesting, most just end up heading down "the middle of the road" (to steal a phrase from a Pretenders tune). The latter is the case with "The Isle of View". For this tour, the band is backed up by The Duke Quartet on strings, and on this performance, Damon Albarn (keyboardist for Blur) makes an appearance as well. Some tracks, such as the beautiful "Hymn to Her", really benefit from the new arrangements. Others are clearly not as good as the originals. Tracks such as "Back on the Chain Gang", and especially "Kid", have been reduced to sleep inducing moments of MOR. While the laserdisc definitely has it's moments - such as the new versions of "Private Life", and "I Hurt You" (with an excellent solo from guitarist Adam Seymour), or the cover of Radiohead's "Creep" - most of the disc is nothing more than good background music. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but given the material the band has produced in the past, the new disc is a bit disappointing. Only on the recent single, "Night in My Veins" (one of the four bonus tracks available on the laserdisc), does the band ever come close to rocking out. Fans of adult contemporary radio will probably love this disc. However, long time Pretenders fans may be disappointed. - (Steve Marshall) LEE ROCKER & BIG BLUE - Atomic Boogie Hour (Black Top) In 1992, L.A. guitarist Mike Eldred sent a demo tape to ex-Stray Cat bassist, Lee Rocker. After hearing the tape, Rocker decided to do something he'd always wanted to do - start a new blues trio. Since they still needed a drummer, Eldred suggested another West Coast musician, Henree DeBaun (a.k.a. Hank Deluxe) to round out the band. The new band, Big Blue, made its debut on New Years Eve 1992. While on tour with Paul Rodgers in 1993, the band signed a deal with Black Top Records. Their first album, simply entitled Big Blue, was released shortly thereafter to critical praise. Two years later, Big Blue has released their second album, Atomic Boogie Hour. Named after an early 1950's radio program, Atomic Boogie Hour contains a mixture of blues-based tunes, along with a few rockabilly songs thrown in for good measure. Standout tracks on the CD include "6th Street Blues", "Can't Say No", "A Taste of You" and "When You're Not Here". Atomic Boogie Hour is a fine sophomore effort from a hot band with the playing ability to make things happen. This is a band to watch. - (Steve Marshall) SMUDGE - Hot Smoke And Sassafras (Shake) This Aussie trio plays an interesting brand of pop music that's kinda hard to describe except to say that the more I play this 8-song CD EP the more I like it. While at first their songs are not all that immediately catchy (with the possible excetion of the absolutely bubbly "It's Over") these songs definitely start to grow on you before too long. Most of them seem to be built around a 2 or 3 chord guitar riff that's played repeatedly with just a bit of distortion. At times they remind me of Madder Rose and at other times "Tim" era Replacements, especially in the vocals If you're looking for something a little bit different but with enough hooks to sink your teeth into, this is it. (598 Victoria, C.P. 36587, St-Lambert Que. J4P-3S8, CANADA) - (The Platterpuss) THE TRASHWOMEN - Spend The Night With The Trashwomen (Estrus) I guess I'm not giving away any secrets when I say that The Trashwomen are the definition of "surf-punk." This is the proof. It's their 1993 debut album available on CD for the first time. Three women who, as the liner notes tell us, grew up on the wrong side of the tracks and along the way figured out how to make instros sound snotty! The blood curdling screams in several of the tracks help get that across, like in "Daddy Love." They also let the screams fly on their vocal cover of Peter Gunn, which happens to be one of the best tracks. Elka Zolot plays some pretty authentic trad-surf guitar but keeps it edgy so it can compete with her even edgier vocal madness, and Tina "Boom Boom" Lucchesi (drums) and Danielle Pimm (bass) have just the right primitive styles to keep it all together. This is the second CD this month that has a cover picture that can lead to hairy palms and premature blindness. (The first was Hot Damn). The funny thing is that the notes on the back of the CD will make you think blindness has already set in. It's a photocopy from the back of the obviously much larger LP jacket, and the print is so small that all I know for sure is that there are four paragraphs. It's just really small print, that's all. Honest. I can see fine. - (DJ Johnson) THE VACANT LOT - Shake Well (Shake) This is the Lot's third album and fans of the super melodic sweet and pungent poppy punk of their first two will not be disappointed in the least as lead singer and songwriter Pete Ciccone has come up with 14 more hook-filled nuggets that will insinuate their way into your brain and have you singin' along before you even realize it. Although, as on their previous releases, there's nothing on here that I don't like a whole lot, some favorites, this time around, include "All The Same", "Jennifer Smiled", "Let It Go', "Please Please" and "Another Day" - any of which would make a perfect single. One other thing that I notice about this album is that Pete seems to be becoming more of a singer, putting more feeling into his vocals than before - always a good thing. If you're already familiar with this fine band I'm sure you need no further inducement from me to go out and get this but, if you've never heard these guys before but but are a fan of bands like All or Green Day, you'll want to check this out. (598 Victoria C.P. 36587, St. Lambert, Quebec, J4P 3S8, CANADA) - (The Platterpuss) VARIOUS ARTISTS - Back From The Grave Vol. 8 (Crypt) To 60s garage music fans, the release of another Back From The Grave compilation is always cause for celebration. It's been around 5 years since Vol. 7 but now that it's finally here, the wait was very well worth it. This 2-LP set features 36 mind-blowin' tracks that are all so f***in' incredible that I just don't know where to start. I've been listening to this almost non-stop since I got it and there's not one track on here that's not top notch. If you're a fan of wild vintage garage sounds or many of the newer garage bands on labels like Estrus, Norton, Screaming Apple and Get Hip, you absolutely, without a doubt NEED this. - (The Platterpuss) VARIOUS ARTISTS - Cattle Call: Early Cowboy Music and It's Roots (Rounder) When people talk about country music, what do they usually mean? Depends on who's doing the talking, I suppose, but the vast majority will be talking about the stuff that is pumping out of at least five channels on your radio dial right this minute. My personal opinion is that most of that stuff is crap. Sue me. On the other hand, there is some great country music to be heard. Bluegrass, folk and original cowboy music can all be considered country. Rounder Records has been a library of great music for twenty five years, documenting some of the most important music in those genres and a few others. (They have also preserved some of the best blues ever recorded.) "Cattle Call" is a collection of historic recordings of very important cowboy songs by, among others, Tex Owens, Patsy Montana, Powder River Jack & Kitty Lee, Tex Ritter (yes, John's dad) and The Sons Of The Pioneers, who were the kings of cowboy harmony. (Roy Rogers was a member of that particular group, using his real name, Leonard Slye!) This is more than just country yodeling. This is authentic ranch music, much of it recorded by people who walked the walk every day. The 14-song CD covers a broad time span, from Carl T. Sprague's 1925 recording of "When The Work's All Done This Fall" to Trio Los Panchos' 1960 classic "La Cucaracha/La Adelita." One of the coolest things about a good cowboy song is that it usually tells a whole story. Some are just about the daily life and hardships of a cowboy, some are about starcrossed lovers. One, "Tying A Knot In The Devil's Tail," by Powder River Jack & Kitty Lee, is about two cowboys getting shit-faced and meeting the devil on the trail. The devil has come for their souls, but the boys have other ideas. They rope and hogtie the devil and then tie knots in his tail and leave him on the trail for others to see and laugh at. Good story. This CD is filled with good stories. The best news is that this is just the first in a four CD series that covers everything from the earliest era of cowboy music to the 1960s, a time when Disney helped make the form very popular again. If you like your music to be authentic, and you think Travis Tritt is full of corporate hot air, this might be a good pickup for your collection. Diversify, fer cryin' out loud! - (DJ Johnson) VARIOUS ARTISTS -- Saturday Morning Cartoons' Greatest Hits (MCA) As a kid, Saturday mornings were always the best. You didn't have to go to school, but you'd always get up early so you could watch cartoons. Now, MCA has released a "best of" collection of those great cartoon theme songs - performed by some of today's hottest "alternative" artists. Not content to just release 30-second snippets of the songs as you remember them, producer Ralph Sall had the difficult job of expanding the tunes into full-fledged songs for the CD. Sall (who has produced artists ranging from Jane's Addiction to the Eagles' tribute CD, "Common Thread") also personally matched each of the themes with their respective performers. Sall gathered 22 of today's hottest alternative artists to perform on the 19 tracks on the CD. Liz Phair teams up with Material Issue on a great version of "The Tra La La Song". Juliana Hatfield and Tanya Donnelly contribute their version of "Josie and the Pussycats". The Ramones take on the theme from "Spider-Man" (newly recorded for this CD). One of the best song/artist pairings is Frente's take on "Open Up Your Heart and Let the Sun Shine In". You'll swear you're listening to Pebbles & Bamm-Bamm all over again. These are just a few of the classic cartoon theme songs featured on Saturday Morning Cartoons' Greatest Hits. If you're one of the millions that grew up watching these shows, don't miss this great CD. - (Steve Marshall) CLAYTON WATSON & HIS SILHOUETTES - Vol. 2 EP (Hillsdale) Whatcha got here are 4 slabs of journeyman Rock & Roll, recorded in 1959 but unreleased until now, the kind of thing that lots of bands were crankin' out in countless dance halls and sock hops all across the country. While none of these tracks may be particularly innovative or original, they nevertheless beautifully capture that carefree, let's-have-fun attitude that's so sorely missing in much of today's music. If you dig bands like The Neanderthals, The Trashwomen or The A-Bones, you're sure to go for this. (PO Box 641592, San Francisco CA 94164) - (The Platterpuss) NEIL YOUNG -- Old Ways (Mobile Fidelity) When audiophile label Mobile Fidelity Sound Labs releases something on vinyl and/or CD, it's generally one of the artist's better (or at least more well known) titles. Instead of releasing one of Neil Young's more popular albums, like "Harvest", "After the Gold Rush", or "Freedom", they decided to release his country album from 1985, "Old Ways". Long out of print on vinyl, and previously only available in the US as an import CD, MFSL's Anadisq 200 version of "Old Ways" sounds great. "Old Ways" starts off with a cover (a rare occasion in itself for Young) of the 60's pop classic, "The Wayward Wind". The orchestration on the track is lush and warm. "Get Back to the Country" (one of five songs with Waylon Jennings guesting on vocals) is one of the most cheerful songs Neil has written. You can almost hear him grinning as he's singing this one. The piano on "Once an Angel" sounds clear and natural. Sonically, one of the highlights on the album is the closing track on side one, "Misfits". Featuring the same string section used on "The Wayward Wind", the dynamic range on "Misfits" is superb. The upright bass is deep and resonant, never muddy at all. The percussion instruments used on the track are all clear and distinct. One of the most touching songs on the album is "My Boy", dedicated to Young's first son, Zeke. Neil played the song on banjo on his 1983 acoustic tour, prior to the album's release. The album's version features a full band arrangement. MFSL's packaging on the Anadisq 200 version of "Old Ways" is top-notch. The sheer mass of the album & cover is impressive in itself. Pressed on 200 grams of virgin vinyl, "Old Ways" sounds and looks great. It may not be "After the Goldrush", but Mobile Fidelity did a fine job on this one. If they decide to release other titles from Young's vast catalog, fans are going to be in for a real treat. - (Steve Marshall) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- B E T W E E N Z E R O & O N E DAMNED ASSHOLE POLITICIANS STRIKE AGAIN (Indecent Headline) By Steven Leith The market abounds in products to screen adult information. The cyberporn scare of the summer has been shown to be just media hype. Public opposition to the draconian attempts to stifle cyberspace far outweigh the hand wringing pleas that government control the evil Net. All this and yet the movement to shove electronic decency laws down our throats continues. Given all this I must conclude that there is an agenda that goes beyond the stated aims of protecting our morals. Before you can appreciate the forces at work in the decency provisions of the Telecommunications Reform Bill you must look to history. The printing press was not universally accepted by the kings, queens and popes of Europe. Communication, whether speech or press, must be controlled by the state for the simple reason that opinion matters, even in dictatorships. The few can not long enslave the many without consent. What we call the Western Democracies have a long history of controlling the press, burning books and scattering crowds that were peaceably assembled. Communication is a danger to any government, especially one that (in theory) governs only at the consent of the governed. The press in this country has fought many battles to remain free from government control, but now the Corporate Press has more or less become part of the State. The battles between the governing elite and the press have receded into history. There really is little danger now that the Corporate Press will frame political debate in terms unacceptable to the government. Enter Cyberspace. The possibility that communication can occur without the filter of acceptably framed debate has a chilling effect on politicians. Cyberspace offers a soap box for radical ideas and questions. Calls for action can mobilize millions. This is scary stuff. Politicians are still reeling from the advent of the Fax machine. Now they must confront a technology that is very destabilizing to the State. Unrestrained communication in an individual to individual format eliminates the ability to filter truth through the prism of politics. If it is hard to manufacture consent, it may be impossible to govern. Things were going pretty good as far as the World's governments were concerned. Mass communications had seemed to grow, while in fact all the world's media was owned by less than 100 companies. Then pow, all bets were off. Politicians are not stupid. But even if they were as dumb as they pretend, they would know enough to defend themselves and the institutions that nourish them. The most disturbing thing to the political elite is that those using the Internet and online services are also an elite. Netizens are the very people who must agree to be governed. If their communications can not be manipulated by slick publications and T.V. sound bites, where will the money and votes come from? Politics is magic. Not that it is mysterious, rather it is sleight of hand. You are always directed to look at something while the real trick is being done out of sight. That is what the electronic decency provisions are about. The provisions are a successful attempt to frame the debate around the issue of protecting children. In that way we only hash and rehash whether the Net is a danger to children instead of asking the real question. "Should communication be free in a free society?" Read the First Amendment and ask yourself does it merely protect the technology of the printing press or the idea of free communication. Amendment I Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances. The House and Senate have already decided that it is not in their best interest to extend the definition of press and speech into cyberspace. Very little that can be said or done will change their headlong rush to remove free speech protections for electronic communications. It is not in the State's interest to hand citizens the tools needed to limit governmental power. When the Telecom Bill becomes law the right of electronic free speech and free press will be lost because politicians will have designated Cyberspace communication as neither speech nor press. Their real victory is an Orwellian reversal of common sense. Black is White. Ignorance is knowledge. An E-zine is not the press. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- WHY I COULDN'T KICK THE HABIT By DJ Johnson - Attention haters of sports! You may hate this column even more. - Baseball is as baseball does. Gumpified truth that cannot be denied. In a world where the average over-the-hill designated hitter makes approximately forty times the annual salary of the average school teacher, our brains begin to hurt. How the hell can we justify something like that? Does the DH offer anything of importance to the growth of my children? Nope. Nada. But then again, my kids' teachers couldn't do jack shit with a Randy Johnson slider, either. Hold on a second...mmmmm...there it is...that first juicy rationalization of the day. But pace yourselves, please. We're talking baseball here, so the rationalizations have only just begun. The strike just about killed my love of the game, and that's no easy trick, because baseball has always been a religion with me. Since the first time I saw Pete Rose spike a helpless second basemen guilty only of trying to turn a double play, baseball has been my one true sport of choice. Yeah, I watched football, and I threw a few March Madness parties, but I was THINKING of baseball. Until the strike. Then I forced myself to watch English soccer...for about five minutes. I tried getting into motocross. Desperate, I turned to Sumo Wrestling. Not personally...I mean with the remote control. There's a simple honesty to Sumo Wrestling. There aren't any fake managers screaming into microphones, no unruly fans throwing bike chains or betting on which bad actor is scripted to win, and no pre-season holdouts! That's a biggy. Sumo Wrestlers are damned happy to be doing what they are doing because, let's face it, it's not like they can quit and get jobs as jockeys. There is honor in Sumo. There is no honor in baseball. As the strike dragged on, I became angrier. I was mad at the players for acting like they were slaves when they made more in 6 months than I've made in my entire life. I was mad at the owners...well...for a zillion good reasons, not the least of which was the fact that they staged a revolution, ousted the commisioner and then made one of their OWN the acting commish, guaranteeing a lack of good faith in the negotiating process. These people behaved so badly it's a wonder they aren't all presidential candidates. So why did I develop amnesia soon after the strike ended? Why did I scream and yell for my home team (The Mariners! Eat yer hearts out, Yankee fans!) when I had been grumbling some unintelligble tripe about how we fans should strike just a few weeks previously? And why didn't I catch myself in the act and just turn off the TV? Well...because the unthinkable happened. My Mariners became winners. DAMN them! It's NOT my fault! We've never had a winning baseball team in Seattle, and I just couldn't miss out on that. And that 82 win 80 loss season doesn't count. I mean WINNING team. The folks in Seattle became foaming-at-the-mouth M's fans. One of my closest friends, a woman who used to laugh at me for so much as caring about baseball, called me up at the end of game 5 of the Yankee series (eat your HEARTS out, Yankee fans!!) screaming "GOD, that was a great game!!" Of course, she immediately mispronounced "Tino," "Buhner" and even "Griffey," but I forgive the little wagon-jumper. Hell, everyone was getting in on it. It couldn't last, of course. Our incredible season came to a halt as the Cleveland Indians' fresher arms out-pitched our guys, who had been through hell in the previous two weeks. Still, the scene inside the Kingdome lasted for hours, the fans refusing to leave until the boys came out for a curtain call. We didn't mind at all that they had lost. What a high this city was on. We were worshipping at the altar. That couldn't last, either. The M's front office has spent this preseason totally dismantling the greatest team we've ever had. Gone are 7 of the 25 players, including Tino Martinez (traded to the Yankees...Cry your EYES out, M's fans!), traded away for a really bad pitcher and an untested 3rd baseman. Gone are Bill Risley and Jeff Nelson, possibly the two best setup pitchers in the AL. Gone is Mike Blowers, which means the team saves not only his salary but the extra cost of cleaning up the puddles of tobacco juice around 3rd base. What do we get in return for all this? Hint: It is available plain or WITH lubricant. One other thing to note -- not one of these moves was made or even hinted at until after the city of Seattle made arrangements to build a brand new ballpark for the Mariners. The ownership had behaved like extortionists. They had gotten their way through threats of moving the team to sunny Tampa, Florida. Are we surprised here in the great Northwest? Nooooo. There hasn't been a potential superstar yet that the M's office couldn't give away and get zippity squat for. Will this be the final straw for me? Noooooo. Baseball was once my religion. Now it's pretty much been reduced to a dysfunctional relationship I can't seem to get out of. ============================================================================ - % @ ]]]]]]]]]] . " ~ + . ]]] ]] ]] ]]]] , ^ . ]]] ]]]]] ]] < ]]] ]] ]] ]]]] & # ]]] ]] ]] ]] ! ^ | . """ "" "" """" ]]]]] ]]]] ]]]] ]]]]] ]]]]]] ]]]] - \ ~ ]] ]] ]] ] ] ]] ] ]] ] ` ? $ ]] ] ]]]] ]]]] ]] ]] ]] ]]] ~ ` ]] ]] ]] ] ] ]] ]] ]] ] l """"" """" """"" "" "" """" `"" ]]]]] ]]]]]] ]]]] ]] ]]]]] @ : ]] ]] ]] ]] ]] ]] / + ]]]] ]] ]]]] ]] ]] ] | ]] ]] ]] ]] ]] ]] ! : "" """" """" """"" """"" + . Random stuff for your entertainment. Happy scrolling! the code of behavior --------------------- the trees and bushes steal sun and shadow from one another and step on your toes trip you trip you till you fall into the narrow patch of the meadow of slumber ... you HEAR the sheets attached to branches and shoots by clothes-pins the sheets of music ... silence wakes you up the guys under the tree clean instruments alright, you clap - H.California 1991-05-05 everest@netcom.com (Wlodzimierz Holsztynski) "The one thing sure about politics is that what goes up comes down and what goes down often comes up." - Richard M. Nixon Being a women is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men. - Joesph Conrad THE SAINT Lord, what I have done is little-compared to the sins of the world. I did not kill: I chose blindness. Paralyzed, Embarrassed, I did not aid the aged woman when she fell. Instead I stood, in the tower, a righteous sentry watching a rape below city lamps. He freed her to go to you... Don't make me take the road to hell (these clean hands held the beads a thousand times). I was so benevolent to all people, my saviour: I never did criticize, hurt or offend. A model of correctness, I remained silent. I would prepare myself to receive you in your holy home- every sunday, second pew on my knees before you then. Invocations talked me through the days pleading to Cajetan and now to Michael, your servants, as I am - was - in a life devoted. A powerful spirituality, all I acquired from my parents. My children served the altar as I made my offerings to church, charity, and bum. I shared that in honour of you. Yes, I was always true to you. My morality balanced on faith; my doubts only made me stronger. Now I wait at your gates, looking back on my life- in your impartial light god, though I occasionally strolled in those darker woods, I went it straight. I have walked the road to hell (there were so many important things to do). Ignatius, guard me now from what I have done but let it all be mine for I am not yet finished - Sarah K Jordan sarahj@trib.com "A drug is neither moral nor immoral-it's a chemical compound. The compound itself is not a menace to society until a human being treats it as if consumption bestowed a temporary license to act like an asshole. - Frank Zappa When you're told not to put raisins up your nose, it's hard to think about anything else. - Cynthia Copeland Lionel The Lycanthrope (or The Trials and Tribulations of the Modern Day Werewolf) Lionel was a werewolf So when the moon was bright He would go up to the rooftop And howl into the night He would chase the local residents You should have seen them scream and run But he would not have hurt them Lionel was vegan He would prowl along the streets at night Followed by his pack Two pooodles, one chihuahua, and a dachshund known as Jack He would roam about the neighbourhood Desperate for a pee (When you're an inner city lupine It's hard to find a tree) He passed the church where he was banned Not because he was bad or rotten But because when the vicar came to tea He had tried to sniff his bottom One dawn the police picked Lionel up Wearing not a stitch It didn't help when Lionel said He'd been hunting down a bitch The policemen took young Lionel home They found his house without much stress For on a chain around Lionel's neck Hung a disk with his address "We have to tell your mum", a policeman said In a voice so dark and final As the car pulled up by a garden gate With a sign - "Beware of Lionel" When Lionel's mother opened the door She knew why the police were there "Go into the living room, Lionel, And don't sit on the chair!" "This can't go on", the policeman said "He's frightened half the town If you can't teach him to behave He'll have to be put down" Ma wondered how to help her son But she soon solved the puzzle Lionel still prowls the streets at night But now he wears a muzzle - Tim Patterson tim@viper.LPL.Arizona.Edu "A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject." - Sir Winston Churchill "Churchill is the very type of a corrupt journalist. There is not a worse prostitute in politics. He himself has written that it's unimaginable what can be done in war with the help of lies. He's an utterly amoral repulsive creature. I'm convinced that he has his place of refuge ready beyond the Atlantic. He obviously won't seek sanctuary in Canada. In Canada he'd be beaten up. He'll go to his friends the Yankees. As soon as this damnable winter is over, we'll remedy all that." - Adolf Hitler "If Hitler invaded hell I would make at least a favourable reference to the devil in the House of Commons. - Sir Winston Churchill Freedom Free is the sun to be turning among red gold and yellow 'round the burning black head cold of time. Stringtied the fingers of thought feel past faces pass beyond the reach of their grip and climb, we've gone fading, out into the dark of the aftershade unaware of everything that moves and grows up against the dullness of the entropy of mass. Free the horses of life on the planes of an empty world, but locked in within a fence of barbed wire, only pride remains to take them up against their maker. But we will break them till they expire of pride stronger than their urge to live apeaced or lose the freedom of their death in giving up their fire souls before their breaker. Free the prince of mind to bear his own weight pulling at the hairs, of the lord almighty, 'cause he shapes only with a mud-stained touch and sticks the words upon our covers slyly built creatures we can tell not why they move as we can hardly move each other, though sometimes we can freely love this much. 'To know and love one other human being is the root of all wisdom', is the all too humanitarian side of 'Evelyn Waugh', or perhaps he meant himself, the old schizo. He nevertheless left open the much more important question of what grows from that root. - Corto pike@luna.nl "What is objectionable, what is dangerous, about extremists is not that they are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say about their cause, but what they say about their opponents." - Robert Kennedy "Do we really want to know HOW Michael Jackson makes his music? NO. We want to understand why he needs the bones of the Elephant Man-and, until he tells us, it doesn't make too much difference whether or not he really is 'bad.'" - Frank Zappa --------------------------------------------------------------------------- E-MAIL ADDRESSES FOR CONTACTING COSMIK DEBRIS' WRITERS DJ Johnson (Editor)......moonbaby@serv.net Cai Campbell.............vex@serv.net James Andrews............jimndrws@serv.net Louise Johnson...........aquaria@serv.net coLeSLAw.................coleslaw@greatgig.com Scott Wedel..............syzygy@cyberspace.com Andrew Ian Feinberg......afeinber@panix.com Steven Leith.............leith@serv.net Steve Marshall...........MHND71F@prodigy.com David Fenigsohn..........a-davef@microsoft.com The Platterpuss..........Plattrpuss@aol.com DEBRIS FIELD POETS - "The Code Of Behavior," by H. California......everest@netcom.com "The Saint," by Sarah K. Jordan...............sarahj@trib.com "Lionel The Lycanthrope," by Tim Patterson....tim@viper.LPL.Arizona.Edu "Freedom," by Corto...........................pike@luna.nl Cosmik Debris' WWW site..http://www.greatgig.com/cosmikdebris Subscription requests....moonbaby@serv.net Cai Campbell's BBS (Great Gig In The Sky)..206-935-8486 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------