::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::Mar/99
::: The Discordant Opposition Journal ::: Issue 3 - File 7 :::
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

 :the principals of discordia:
  cronus

  Discordianism is the religion of the 90s and the anti-religion
of the 21st century. As Pope Icky once said; 

   Is it a religion for the 90s? A joke for the religious? Or just
   a lot of fun? Who knows, who cares, why bother? Here's a phone 
   card, call someone who gives a shit. 

  Discordianism offers you the ability to lead a morally and also
ethically correct live without the downsides. When thinking of what
Discordia might offer you, first think of what it doesn't offer you.
It doesn't offer Eternal Damnation! Also not in it is Guilt! Or 
Death! Okay, maybe you WILL die, but your memory will live on in your 
Wholly Writings, which can only be inspired by Eris! Eris, who 
inspired the Principia Discordia, the Bible, the Koran, the Talmud, 
and the Tasteless Jokes series! 
  Eris was the greek goddess of Chaos. Daughter of Zeus and sister of
Nyx the goddess of Night. All Discordian ethos and powers are derived
from Eris, the goddess of Chaos.
  Discordians can envision the Law of Fives in all aspects of life and
death. The Law of Fives states simply that: All things happen in Fives,
or are divisible by or are multiples of Five, or are somehow directly 
or indirectly appropriate to 5. 
      The Law of Fives has been shown never to be wrong. In the ERISian
Archives, an old memo from Omar to Mal-2 says; "I find the Law of Fives 
to be more and more manifest the harder I look." Also since 2+3=5 the 
number 23 is seen to be the most discordant number and recognised as
such.
   Discordianism is based on the Prinicipia. The Principia Discordia is 
the soda fountain from which the ERISian Movement flows like Pure 
Coca-Cola Syrup, bringing unto mankind the giggling, unblinking, caffeine
and sugar mania that is Discordianism. It was written by Malaclypse the 
Younger and Lord Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst. Both respecable leaders of 
Discordanism.
  Discordians are split in the Wholly 5 Orders. The seeds of the ORDERS 
OF DISCORDIA were planted by Greyface into his early disciples. The Orders 
are composed of persons who are all in positions of authority, security 
and control. Some do not know that they belong to Orders of Discordia. But 
we know;
      1. The Military Order of THE KNIGHTS OF THE FIVE SIDED TEMPLE. This 
is for all the soldiers and bureaucrats of the world. 
      2. The Political Order of THE PARTY FOR WAR ON EVIL. This is reserved 
for lawmakers, censors, and like ilk. 
      3. The Academic Order of THE HEMLOCK FELLOWSHIP. They commonly inhabit 
schools and universities, and dominate many of them. 
      4. The Social Order of THE CITIZENS COMMITTEE FOR CONCERNED CITIZENS. 
This is mostly a grass-roots version of the more professional military, 
political, academic and sacred Orders. 
      5. The Sacred Order of THE DEFAMATION LEAGUE. Not much is known about 
the D.L., but they are very ancient and quite possibly were founded by 
Greyface himself. It is known that they now have absolute domination over
all organized churches in the world. It is also believed that they have 
been costuming cabbages and passing them off as human beings. 
     
  Joining Discordia is a simply 5 step process. Make five copies of your 
application form stating you full personal details, any sexual fetishes and 
your intentions within the sacred temple of Eris. Place one copy under your
post box. Burn one copy and scatter the ashes throughout the parish you wish
to rule. Flush one copy down your toilet to show that you can be humble and
remain the true Discordian. Finely chop one copy and mix it into a Hashish
cake. Eat the Hashish cake to prove your devotion to the cause, if you are
unable to obtain Hashish for the baking of your cake common garden dirt is
the best substitute. Then finally give your last copy to someone who doesn't
care to show that you are willing to indoctrinate others.

  Cronus (AKA Saint Cronus the Sex-Offender of Discordia) and Rue-the-Day 
(AKA Pope Rue the Blonded One of Discordia) are happy to answer questions 
about Discordianism As if this file has cleared it all up for you. 
[discordia@rue-the-day.net]

        ! All Hail Discordia !
       cronus (at) iol (dot) ie
  ___________  ____   ____  __ __  ______
_/ ___\_  __ \/  _ \ /    \|  |  \/  ___/
\  \___|  | \(  <_> )   |  \  |  /\___ \ 
 \___  >__|   \____/|___|  /____//____  >
     \/                  \/           \/ 
   http://www.rue-the-day.net/discordia
      http://homepages.iol.ie/~cronus