_______ _______ __ ___ _ _______ __ __ | ____| | ____| | | | \ | | | _____| \ \ / / | |____ | |____ | | | \ \ | | | |____ \ \ / | ____| | ____| | | | |\ \| | | _____| / / | | | |____ | |___ | | \ \ | | |____ / / |_| |______| |_____| |_| \__| |______| /_/ ____________________________________________________ |ISSUE 3 MAGAZINE DECEMBER 2004| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ================ ||****INTRO****|| ================ ****************************************************** Welcome to the third issue! XD. Once again i have missed a few months worth of them, but there is an excuse this time, the computer keeps crashing and losing all my stuff because i have to format it, i lost the entire website, though have now recovered the files. I'm starting to write this issue on Christmas Day, after the 6th format in about 2 months. Hopefully my new Antivirus and use of my USB Pen drive to create a "Rescue disk" will fix that, so i can replace the file that goes missing rather than having to format and start again. Hopefully XD. Anyway as i was saying, because i'm making this issue on christmas day, it will be very short, oh well, enjoy XD -DEATHBRINEGR (as it is typed on straightacting.com) ****************************************************** CONTENTS 1-In the news 1.1-Blunkett 1.2-ID Cards 1.3-Foxhunting 2-Sexuality 2.2-Swiped story 3-Fun Files 3.1-How to totally FUCK your friends PC 4-Chat 5-Readers (lack of) Letters 6-Cool Lyrics 6.1-Band Aid 7-Links 8-Wrap-up ****************************************************** ________ ________ |daily v sport | |truth |========| |========|========| |===IN THE NEWS===| |========|========| |========|========| |________|________| BLUNKETT: Not really too much to comment on XD, other than saying this has been a pretty boring scandal hasnt it? i mean come on.. Papers: Did you have an affair with that woman Blunkett: Yes Papers: Ok, here is £20,000 BORING!. Then there was something else about him getting a free bus pass or something and he was sacked, unfortunatley his mad plan for ID cards didnt go with him ID CARDS: Police: Hey, sez 'ere you are a bloke Transexual: Yeah, i couldnt change my birth certificate Police: You really are then, you poof!, time we taught your kind a lesson they will never forget *Insert tape-recorded kicking to death here* It WILL happen in 2020, mark my words FOX HUNTING: I dont really give a shit about the foxes, but Sabs tend to be cute and hunters tend to be not, and hunters kill sabs, so they must be 'dealt with' with such brutality the worst SS officer would lose his lunch if he saw it. Now there's a videogame concept! ****************************************************** _______ / ____/ / /___ \____ \EXUALITY ____/ /..yer laws do not apply to me! /______/ Because of the computer fuckups, the sexy story i was writing got lost, and i wasnt paticularly inspired to write another XD. So anyway, i stole one from a mates Livejournal instead, hehe. Visit it yourself at: http://www.livejournal.com/users/narcissus_scorn/ Cheers Adrian..XD I awoke to the sound of the shower Saturday morning, I got up and went to ask him if he was nearly finished, I stopped to look how amazing his delicate body looked wet in the steamy room, he did not hear me come in so I opened the shower door and greeted him with my kisses on his left shoulder “My darling is up earlier than I today, is everything ok?” I asked, “Yes of course, I was going to make you breakfast to be honest” he laughed, how incredibly sweet I thought, watching him wash his hair. I soaped my hands up still standing behind him I rubbed his chest, stomach and naval bar, he turned and kissed my lips which make me want him instantly. I caressed his cock which stiffened to my touch, our smooth wet skin against each other excited me more than I expected. He kissed my neck and collar bones to drive me mad, working down my chest to my eager cock, putting just the end in his mouth and looking up at me with those piercing green eyes, I gasped as he devoured me with his hot mouth. “My aren't we the naughty boy today” I said trying to play it cool, he stood up smiling and whispered “I want you here…fuck me, Principe” I blushed a little at his forwardness, stroking his hard cock and kissing his delicious coral lips “You kill me you know, you dirty little boy” I said biting his shoulder to muffle my moan as he sped up caressing my cock, I turned him around kissing his shoulder blades loving how they move beneath his warm skin. I entered him excruciatingly slow teasing myself more than him, I had his cock in my right hand and the other on the wall, I fucked him, my mind in total bliss hearing his loud bursts of excitement as he orgasmed made me come with force seconds later, I brushed the wet hair from his face, he turned and kissed me tenderly, my God, I have an angel here in my arms….. forgive me for my corruption. (Aplogies for how well this is written, i promise to bring you something really shit next time XD) ****************************************************** _________ _\ \____________ |_ FUN FILES____________///:::==- /________/ HOW TO TOTALLY FUCK YOUR FRIEND'S COMPUTER! Install Windows XP on it..better than any virus! ****************************************************** ___ __ __ _____ / __| | | | | /\ |_ _| | | | |_| | / \ | | | | | _ | / /\ \ | | | |__ | | | | / ____ \ | | \___| |_| |_| /_/ \_\ |_| Rich bloke from top gear: Well some people wear Ferrari clothes, like that bloke over there Bloke: *Laughs* R: What do you actually drive? Bloke: Er, a Volkswagen Jetta Everyone: *Laughs* R: Honestly, how many Ferrari drivers go around with Volkswagen Jetta t-shirts on? -Top Gear (Note: the VW Jetta was not a 'big' car in britian, though there was a car with that name a long time ago, it looks to me like the also-disliked Polo Saloon from the same age, with square lights. Later versions of the Jetta resembled a smaller Passat, with Square lights, and this was sold in the UK as the VW Bora, which also didnt sell that well, though somebody at work has one XD) Clarkson: Now, if you had chosen the "Clockwork orange" Probe as our car to restore, you would have bankrupted Europes richest broadcasting company!, as it is you chose the Mini, so we'll pocket the £40 we made from phone calls and restore it ourselves one weekend -"Restoration Ripoff" comes to its kind-of predictable close (Note: The "Probe" was an ultra-rare sports car from the 60's of which like 9 where made, one being featured in the movie of "A Clockwork Orange", the Mini was not just any old Mini, but the Cooper which Paddy Hopkirk drove to WRC glory in the 1960's, destroying heavy, sluggish monstrosities like the Ford Zephyr with ease) Bloke: Wanna buy an Audi? Me: What, like my dad's one that broke down and caused a 5-mile tailback that was on the news? -Er, the pub one night Bloke: Have a merry christmas Other bloke: I'm drinking for five, i should do Me: But will you remember it? ****************************************************** ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ || ____ | \ | __| //\ | \ | __| | \ / __/ | _ / | __| //_\\ | | | __| | _ / \__ \ || \\ |___| // \\ |___/ |___| || \\ /___/ _ ___ ____ ____ ___ ___ ____ | | | __| |_ _| |_ _| | __| | \ / __/ | |_ | __| || || | __| | _ / \__ \ |___| |___| || || |___| || \\ /___/ There havent been any, but the logo for this section is cool XD. When i eventually put these up on textfiles.com they might be read by more than one person XD. as always send stuff to: m_deathbringer@hotmail.com ****************************************************** _______ ___/ / _______ / __________________/ \ | ||=================================|| / | ||=================================||/ | THIS MONTHS COOL SONG LYRICS \_____ \_______\ DO THEY KNOW IT'S CHRISTMAS-BAND AID It's Christmas time There's no need to be afraid At Christmas time, we let in light and we banish shade And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy Throw your arms around the world at Christmas time But say a prayer Pray for the other ones At Christmas time it's hard, but when you're having fun There's a world outside your window And it's a world of dread and fear Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears And the Christmas bells that ring there Are the clanging chimes of doom Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time The greatest gift they'll get this year is life (Oooh) Where nothing ever grows No rain nor rivers flow Do they know it's Christmas time at all (Here's to you) raise a glass for everyone (Here's to them) underneath that burning sun Do they know it's Christmas time at all Feed the world, feed the world, feed the world Let them know it's Christmas time again Feed the world Let them know it's Christmas time again Feed the world Let them know it's Christmas time again Feed the world Let them know it's Christmas time again Feed the world Let them know it's Christmas time again ****************************************************** ______ ______ __/______\_____/______\__ ___|____|_LINKS_|____|___ \______/ \______/ http://www.create-games.com I have recently gotten back into creating games using things like Multimedia Fusion and The Games Factory (modern versions of the more-famous Klik n play), anyway, this site is the hub for all of that stuff on the internet. It even has its own in-jokes and community spirit, though not as much as Doomworld, obviously XD http://www.doomworld.com Doomworld!, the home of doom on the internet, here you can check out the latest .wad files, and get your questions answered, along with other stuff ****************************************************** _ _ ___ ___ _ _ ___ \\ // | \ //\ | \ || || | \ \\/\// | _ / //_\\ | __/ == || || | __/ \/\/ || \\ // \\ || \\__// || Well, this issue has been pretty crap..XD, hopefully, if i have no more computer fuckups, or my idea to fix them without formatting actually works, the next issue should be much better. Have a good 2005 anyway, with or without (probably without) Felney stuff XD Contact info: E-mail and MSN: m_deathbringer@hotmail.com AIM: crazyanarkist Felney webpage: http://felneycomic.keenspace.com Also i will try and upload it to textfiles.com Disclaimer: Building items from the "garden shed" section of the mag is dangerous ..er, that section wasnt even in this issue! // O==o:::::::::::::::::::> Deathbringer \\