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The Most Fun I've Had In Years
by Timmy O'Finney

Once I went to the local library, indeed.  I have a tremendous love for
literature, but all the books I found in my room are about philosophy and
art theory and are these very strange stories that don't make very much
sense!  I'm not a fan of this confusing literature, no sir.  I like
stories that take you places.  Places I've never dreamed of before!  I
want to be *in* the story!

So, I headed to the library, but it was closed!  Drats!  Was this a
holiday?  I think it was.  I don't remember very much these days.  This
made me incredibly sad, so I moped for a while, walking down the streets.
I started to wander, and I saw this delightful place with a lot of books
in it!  Hundreds -- no, THOUSANDS of books!  And they served coffee there!
It was a book store--but the people in there were sitting, reading the
books!  It was too good to be true!

So, I went inside, and ordered a cup of Joe.  When I asked for a cup of
Joe, the very attractive young lady with purple hair and metal on her nose
told me that they did not serve cups of Joe.  I thought that was strange,
so I said "gimme the best stuff you got".  That's a safe answer!

She gave me a very large cup with very frothy liquid in it.  I was a bit
frightened, but I curled up in the corner with this "drink" and I read
Flowers for Algernon!  Poor Charlie!  I then read Super Chunk!  My
goodness, that silly boy!  I then read A Tale of Two Cities!  I *WAS*
Sydney Carton!

I looked at the watch on the wall and, my goodness, it was already 8:30PM!
I had been at this place all day, and nobody seemed to have noticed.  I
decided to go home.

On my way hope, a very cute bird landed on my shoulder and I pet its head.
It was a sparrow.  I danced a funny dance, and a small child laughed at
me.  I didn't mind, though.  I read some damn fine literature today.