number nine number nine number nine number nine number nine number nine [[[[]]] F LLOoO WEErS ooOooOOOOOO f DissSTruTCCTiIOON ][[[[[[f FlloooWWweeeeeeeeRSR FOFO DiS)S))S)TU)U) [[[]][] fFflooOoOOowoEWwEWerS FOoJF DISUTRUCUTUCUTION ]][][[] fF ll OWOowoO WO SEWERS FOOFO FO OO OoFOO SDfoET!#%! ][]][[]FF fFl L W Ii iw WEeSdr F FOFO DDDD SISITRUCUCUCUTIONONW [[[]][] FF Fll l WIwiw i W WWWweerrrrSS #%!!!!!!!!!!############ MOTHER GOD TO THE DAMN IT CAN'T POSSIBLY BE THE FLOWERS OF DESTRUCTION GET ME OUT OF HERE, I DON'T WANT TO BE LOCKED IN A ROOM WITH THESE POTTED PLANTS WHILE THEY TRY TO ATTACK ME THEY ARE UPROOTING FROM THEIR DIRT THEY'RE GRABBING AT MY SHIRT I SHOULD NEVER HAVE LET THEM LOOSE, THE GARDEN SHOP DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT THIS SPECIAL SIDE EFFECT!! I WILL NEVER BUY FLOWERS OF DESTRUCTION aaaaaAAAAAAAggggGGGGGGGGGGGGGaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAiiiiiIiiiInnnnn did you repair your car? did it make you go far? did you travel down the road, not knowing where to go, til you stopped at a shop, and bought a lollipop? did you suck on its tip? when i dip, you dip, we dip? did your tire spring a leak? your suspension need a tweak? AM I REALLY SUCH A FREAK? WILL YOU KEEP ME FOR A WEEK?? DO YOU HATE ME ALL THAT MUCH? c'mere give me a hug QUICK TRANSITION TO A REALLLLY TRUE STORY!!! [setting: scientific laboratory, late at night. i am obviously waiting for something big to happen. my only job is to wait for something big to happen. i drink lots of beer. i have problems. a cute little fuzzy thing walks up to me] oh you're so sweet! look at your cute little nose and those brown eyes. i always liked brown eyes, you know. "i come bearing a message." oh! and what is that message, cutie pie? "the tranciever is getting antsy. they suppose there is an incoming message." oh lordy lordy, you cute little BUTTON! wanna be my pet? "no, not right now. work at solving the mysterious message." oh, i'll do what ever you say, cutesy pie! "yes. bye." bye bye snuffle-luvvle! ohhh, let's see. transceiver! yeah it's over there. [movement, i walk over there] yes, yes yes uhh huh [i look at thing, point at buttons, press one] electronic speaker says : "THERE IS A SUBMISSION FROM NEKO. INSERT IT NOW, INTO YOUR FLOWER OF DESTRUCTION." yes, yes i will do that, peter-pie! ==================== ======================= =========================== THIS IS LIFE AS I KNOW IT transmission from NEKO ================ ========== ======= So I am on irc, right? And I keep typing /msg tbyted, because my typing skills over a modem telnet connection tend to kind of suck, and in IRC, it's not like I'm noticing it anyway. And then I switch windows and I'm like, "Shit, Tim never got that message, so I have to retype it." What a pain in the ass. So right now I've basically decided to take the route of asking every girl I talk to for sex. Well, online anyway. It hasn't worked yet, but I am keeping my options open. I haven't had sex since labor day. It was interesting sex. For about a month and a half I had sex regularly with this exchange student. I never wanted to progress beyond sex, even though she wasn't all that great in bed. I just didn't like her in a "personality" way. You know how it is. Anyhow, at one point I basically just ignored her for awhile to get her to go away. And then I'd get horny and be all over her again. And we'd have sex. And then we didn't have sex for a long time. Then came labor day. We were sitting outside smoking cigarettes and then we went inside and drakn some alcoholic concoction and then we went for a walk along the bike trail. After about 5 minutes or so there was a bench on our left. We sat down and I immediately started making out with her. She was wearing a tight halter top and a short skirt, so I pulled off her underwear and bra, and we had sex on the bench. I am not making this up. Then we went back to the dorm and she went to bed and I flirted with this other girl who has the same name as this girl I went to elementary school with and made fun of all the time and then suddenly surprised me last spring and told me she had a huge crush on me. So I went out with her and we made out, but I didn't really feel anything for her. I felt things on her, sure, but you know how it is. Anyhow, the first person I mentioned with this name isn't really named this name. It's her middle name, so she's a liar. And she always calls me back, well, sometimes, not often, and she'll always be like too tired to come hang out orr whatever. This other girl, I didn't talk to for like a year and then yesterday I emailed her. Wackiness will no doubt ensue. Unfortunately, she lives in POrtland. That's pretty silly, I think, but maybe if I flirt with her over email she will come have sex with me. Yeah, that'll probably happen. Just in case it doesn't, though, I posted an ad on www.classifieds2000.com today. At the beginning of the summer, this psychic I met outside the AVAIL (fuck you caitlin) show told me I would meet a girl and fall in love this summer. So far all the prospects have been falling by the wayside, so I need to figure out a way to get new prospects. I've been up for 20 hours now, and if I stay up all night, I'll be up for 15-20 more. THAT IS MY LIFE. love, john. ================================== =========================== ===================== end submission]] well, see, this is tim here. that was some serious stuff from john. i talked about some serious stuff in flodis. but right now, stuff is just so weird, i can't really document it down. or maybe it's all just so boring that i don't feel it's worth expending energy on. i have a girlfriend. but we don't see each other much because she sleeps a lot and she's a person who likes to be alone and stuff. that's not what love is about. not in my opinion. love is about wanting to spend time with the person you love. ok, not ALL your time, but still, TIME. and love is about sacrificing some part of your life for that person. however miniscule that portion of your life is, it's something. the whole idea is that then the person you love will also sacrifice a part of their life for you, so it's like a trade. an even trade of life- chunks is what makes a good love-relationship, and that's not what i'm in right now. but i had burgers and fries from beef-a-roo, so that makes life a hell of a lot better. no, not burgers, chicken. ----------------------------------- end flodis #009 this was a zine for tasha & anjee this is the first distribution cycle of flodis #009 soon there will be a second distribution cycle in which it will go out to more readers. more readers can find out about just exactly how much sex neko really gets, which is a lot more sex than every one else in #ezines combined. especially more than i get. but man, last summer at this time, i remember how much mad sex i got. there was a hell of a lot of it and i really do miss it, but someday i will get a lot of sex again. ------------------------------------- flodis contact: tim@adkg.com trilobyte@hoe.nu neko contact: john@adkg.com anjee contact: anjee@synthetic-dreams.com tasha contact: nabner@hotmail.com mogel contact: mogel@hoe.nu 3-2-1 contact flowers of destruction :: flodis :: tell your friends to week their ends with flodis