TH HTEEHER HAVE BEEEN TWWEEENTY OOONEE ISSUESS OF THIS EMAIL ZINE DEDICATED AND WRITTEN ESPECIALLY FOR ANJEE AND TASHA, THIS IS NUMBER TWEENDTYY TWOO, AND IT'S A TOILET::: WANNA DONUT?? THEY SELL THEm!! THEY SELL THEM AT THE SHOP THAT REQUIRES YOU MUST LOOK AT THE FLODIS FILE WITH A MONOSPACE FONT OTHER WISE THE DIAGRAMS JUST DON'T WORK OUT, FOOLDIS! _________________________________________________________________________ _/~~~~~~~~~\_/~~~\______/~~~~~~~~~\_/~~~~~~\____/~~~~~~~~~\_/~~~~~~~~~\__ _/~~~~~~~~~\_/~~~\______/~~~~~~~~~\_/~~~~~~~~\__/~~~~~~~~~\_/~~~~~~~~~\__ _/~~~\_______/~~~\______/~~~\_/~~~\_/~~~\_/~~~\____/~~~\____/~~~\________ _/~~~~~\_____/~~~\______/~~~\_/~~~\_/~~~\_/~~~\____/~~~\____/~~~~~~~~~\__ _/~~~~~\_____/~~~\______/~~~\_/~~~\_/~~~\_/~~~\____/~~~\____/~~~~~~~~~\__ _/~~~\_______/~~~\______/~~~\_/~~~\_/~~~\_/~~~\____/~~~\__________/~~~\__ _/~~~\_______/~~~~~~~~~\/~~~~~~~~~\_/~~~~~~~~~\_/~~~~~~~~~\_/~~~~~~~~~\__ _/~~~\_______/~~~~~~~~~\/~~~~~~~~~\_/~~~~~~~\___/~~~~~~~~~\_/~~~~~~~~~\__ _________________________________________________________________________ flowers of disruption #22 -- 10.09.99 -- by trilobyte == the zine for tasha & anjee == LIKE A YEAR AGO I FOUND THIS NEAT SPIRAL NOTEBOOK AND I STARTED CARRYING IT WITH ME BECAUSE IT WAS PRETTY NEAT AND I BROUGHT IT TO UNIVERSITY WITH ME AND ONE NIGHT I WAS IN A COFFEE SHOP AND I WROTE THIS LITTLE DINGY In the town, there was a man who lived under the street and a man who lived in a nearby tree. A big subject to debate in the town was deciding which of these men is more of a victim of distraction. Cars travelling on the road, of loud, could distract Tree-man from the delicate art of maintaining perfect balance. Should a loud hot-rod of a car blast by as he is sleeping on alimb, Tree-man could awaken with a start and lose enough control to fall off the limb and plummet to the ground. ---==-=- That was all I wrote. That was in Champaign, Illinois. I didn't like that town very much. Ever. -=-=-=-= Tonight, I wrote another few things in the notebook. Consider this the Flowers of Harvesting My Garden in the Evening under Heavy Flourescent Light as a Giant Face of an Ex-Girlfriend Stares At Me from the Sky While Partially Obscured By Dissipating Clouds. There are a few things. -==-=------==-- Summer <- / \ Autumn <- Spring / \ / -> Winter --- This is the cycle of the Seasons. I realized the importance of each season in the grand scale of How Things Work. Then Art added his opinions. Summer is the time to act without thought of consequence. It's the time to be radical. [Art: "Fuck everything but what makes me happy!"] Autumn is the time to work out your Summertime acts in your head. Think and rationalize. [Art: "Damn, school's fucking starting! (School generally invovles becoming a *bit* more rational)"] Winter is the time to rest on the thoughts of fall, just live with what you have experienced. A conservative dormancy. [Art: "Sit inside and take comfort from the fact that you're inside and totally warm while all the jackasses in America are outside, miserable from the cold, and _pretending_ to have fun."] Spring is the time to SPRING from the thoughts of Autumn, and prepare to go wild in the summer. You have your rest from Winter and your thoughts from Autumn. [Art: "School's almost over, be a carefree motherfucker."] O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0 If you have a building with a two-door corridor for an entrance -- to conserve electricity by keeping the climate under control -- there is an easy way to alert any employees that a customer is entering the premises. +--| |--+ | O | | \ | | \ | | \ | | \ | | \ | | O | +--| |--+---------+ | | | (building ) | | | | | +-------------------+ the two Os are laser modules, and the line between them is a laser light. if someone walks through the beam coming INTO the building, due to the angle of the laser beam, the module closest to the outside door would first lose its connection -- by perhaps a fraction of a second, causing the device to know that a person is going IN. a person going out would first trigger the OTHER module, thereby alerting the system a customer was leaving. Use it or lose it, freemason. *************************** POETRY BY ART AND TRILOBYTE Art: Where am I going, what will I do. Eating your mother's vagina gave me the flu But I'm not all that blue I got it from your girlfriend, too. Tim: Outraged organs get out of jail fleeing from oranges that can't be peeled sometimes another wall is painted by your face another pink overcoat to shield the weather. Art: If I was a whale I'd flair my tail eat corn on the cob and play with the incredible Bouncing Bob YOU ARE A COCKSUCKING WATERLOGGED PIRATE Tim: Burn down my roof! Moo as if a cow! Were we stuck in history? The window is brown! IT'S ALL AROUND TOWN! Art: Holy fucking christ, it's another poem. It's not about being raped, This is not Beowulf Motherfucka, this isn't a love sonnet Excalibur was not as mighty as my schlong. *************************** That's the end of the poetry by Art and Tim. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ The lousy drug addict. The lousy drug addict goes to the movie theater and can't afford popcorn. He enters the bathroom and goes to a stall to inject drugs into his body. Once he begins to feel good, and once he is able to walk again, he leaves the bathroom and finds a seat in back of the auditorium. He shoves his hand in his pants and allows it to rest there until the movie starts, at which time he pulls it back out and wipes it on the cloth-backed seat in front of him. He begins to feel faint and can't focus on the opening scenes of the film and by the time the movie hits its climax he has died. After the movie, all other patrons have left and his body is swept out with all the popcorn and candy wrappers. ...&&...&&...&&...*&* my carrot. the tourniquet remains unstable as my carrot dangles restlessly. who is to blame for the misinformed townspeople invited to witness the strangling of my carrot? why a public spectable is made of a humiliating event can be understood in one fell swoop of the swinging bucket of reason: Smorgasbord. slaughter of the innocent produce, mandated by the omnipotent mayor and his illegitimate children. i can back up my claims through evidence of DNA, but this would prove to be an unwise decision. should i disclose my evidence, which is in the form of a leather-bound journal stolen from the desk of "his majesty", i would have a fate far worse than that of my poor carrot. he had the idea he was safe from such maniacal torture -- most carrots are -- yet "His Majesty's" wrath has proven itself to be global. after all, who but such a wry evil villain such as The Mayor would be driven to throw a Buffet Party on this hallow's eve? -------------------------------------------------- Last night I went over to your house with a ladder and set it up against the sunny side underneath your window. I returned today and smoked a cigarette in the heat of the afternoon, then climbed up to find your window jammed shut and the drapes pulled closed. I disappointedly climbed down and my left foot slipped, causing me to fall ten feet to the dirt. I was not hurt. I'm leaving this note to let you know that you can keep the ladder, and for what it's worth, I'm done stalking you. Regrets, Bob Newhart ŠÕÕª .-. Š»ÕÕÕº Šª Š»ÕÕÕÕº ŠÕª ŠŠÕÕÕÕÕÕÕª | | this was an †† †† †† ŠÕª † † †ÕÕ† ††† | | honestly bad †»ÕÕÕº †† †† † † ŠÕÕÕÕ†Õ† † † ††† | | time-waster †† †† †† † † † † † † † †»ÕÕÕÕÕÕÕº | | email-box †† ŠÕÕÕÕÕª †ŠÕÕª † † † † † † »»» | | filler »º »ÕÕÕÕÕº »»ÕÕºÕº »ÕÕÕÕ»Õº »ÕÕº »»ÕÕÕÕÕÕÕº | | from .----------------------------------------------------------| | trilobyte `----------------------------------------------------------`-' flodis / flowers of disruption #22 / 10.09.99 / trilobyte@hoe.nu tell your friends to chop some pine with flodis