going ape shit press #6 by eagle 22

  it's my guesss that you have all seen uhf...  if not, then you're
missing a modern day masterpiece... now it's also my guess that you're a
little bit familiar with shakespear... if not, then don't read gasp...
you are an illiterate bastion...  with that, let's introduce eagle 22 as
one of our newest members....

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shakespearian wheel of fish

Cuni:   All standing here and there
        shall be blessed with his
        or her weight in fish.  Welcome
        my noble people of the audience,
        to the wheel o fish show game.
        Now we must set forth and begin
        We shalt start with Miss Phillis Weaver
        'Tis true that this nobel woman
        Hath been the winning of days past.
        Yes, t'was just Yesterday.  Now, Ho!
        Weaver dost thou be ready or no?

Weaver: Dear Sir Cuni, of great honor
        I am here set forth ready, my lord.

Cuni:   Fine then, be it now and
        Get thyself to the Wheel.
        For it hath many types of such
        Fish for my lady, may you with
        All of your strength and will,
        Give thou wheel a big spin.

[Weaver spins wheel]

Weaver: Oh gods above!!  With
        All your glorious pow'r
        Let thou blessing of big fish
        Come hither, oh big fish!

Cuni:   Hah!  It hath landed on the
        Great Red Shapper.  A very tasty
        Fish indeed.  Thou hast been blessed
        My lady, thou hast now a very nice seafood.
        Thou has been blessed.  Now Weaver
        Listen with careful ears.  That thou
        Not miss a word I shalt speak.
        You, my lady Weaver, shalt be faced
        With a question, a most important decision.
        Thou hast the way to hold your Snapper,
        Or thou may choose to Give up the Fish
        And instead receive all that dwells
        In the Box, that Lord Heroson hath
        Brought forth down yonder steps,
        At the time I speak now, Ho!
        I pray you speak decisively Weaver.
        The decision, my lady, with speed!

[After great hesitation]

Weaver: I hath chosen the box, my lord.
        I beg you to show what liest in the box.
        Give to me, what be it within that box
        Yonder, most curious box.

Cuni:   My lady hath chosen the box
        All here hath witnessed the decision.
        So let it be, so now we shalt see
        What lies beneath the box.
        Heroson, what be'eth in yonder box?

[Herson lifts box]

Cuni:   Nothing, Ho!  My ignorant lady.
        Absolutely nothing, as you hath seen
        Stupid, my foolish lady, sooo stupid.
        You had Red Snapper, Now
        Dows thou have something?
        Methinks you so stupid.

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  gasp is nifty... read gasp...