going ape shit press #7 by hammerhead here's the second of three parts of the trashman trilogy... we welcome maniac as gasp writer #6 (considering that i have elected to drop bloody mess since he is a fucking psycho and scares the shit out of me)... welcome... =============================================================================== TRASHMAN'S VENGENCE When the Trashman left the dump, he thought he might sweep some of the living garbage of Lanfil off the streets before going to dispose of his arch nemisis, Spred Refuse. He headed through the back allies towards his former friend, Folce Facade's current residence. On his way to Folce's domicile however, he was forced by his growwing intolerance of littering to stop a few times to deprogram several of the towns recently brainwashed converts of the LITTER cult. Trashman accomplished this by, when catching an offender in the act, taking the object of flotsam that they were improperly disposing of and cramming it into any convenient orifice on their person (and even in a couple of cases into orfices that weren't so convenient). His point gotten across, trashman would then dump his new student into the nearest suitible refuse recepticle and proceed upon his mission. Word soon began to spread across Lanfil that LITTER was losing its grip on the town, but unfortunately for one Folce Facade, the word didn't spread any where near quickly enough. When Folce heard the doorbell ring, he put on his best Howdy Neighbor smile and trotted out of the kitchen to answer the door. His smile turned almost instantly to a sneer of disgust and distain when he opened the door and was met by a gargantuan evil smelling creature, shaped crudely in human form, but somehow strongly resembled his Rubbermaid garbage can. Folce grew steadily nervous as the huge foul smelling thing on his doorstep gathered small bits of debris from around his front step while keeping a baleful eye on him and rumbbling pointed questions about the location of Spred Refuse's home. Folce didn't know what this strange nightmarish brute wanted with Spred, but he figured if he gave it what it wanted, then maybe it would leave him alone and quit stinking up his neighborhood with its' alien aroma. This turned out not to be the case however. As soon as Folce had divulged the information trashman had asked for, he knew he had made a really really big mistake. The Trashman had expected to get the information he had sought, but he had hoped that he would have to beat it out of Folce to teach him a lesson about selling out the people close to him. Trashman realized that selling out his best friend hadn't even made Folce look uncomfortable. He decided not to teach any lessons after all, but to expell Folce from his miserable little existance. Trashman reared up to his full height of nine feet eleven inches ,grabbed Folce by his ears and lifted him up to his own eyelevel and roared " YOU SCHEMING LITTLE TWOFACED UNMANLY LITTLE WEASLE, FIRST YOU SELL ME OUT TO SPRED REFUSE AND NOW, NOW YOU SELL HIM OUT TO ME. I CONSIDERED TEACHING YOU A LESSON THAT YOU WOULD NEVER FORGET, AND POSSIBLY CHANGE YOUR LIFE, BUT I DONT BELEIVE THAT YOU COULD BENEFIT FROM ANY LESSON TAUGHT TO YOU. Folce realized that this horrendous figure before him was his former friend Hiam Garbitchman. Folce began to gibber and cry "Hiam, geez I never realized, ppppppllllllllleeeeeeeaaaaaassssseeeee have mercy ......". At this moment, his wimpering was cut off by the mighty shaking that the Trashman gave him, while still holding him by his ears several feet off the ground. Once Folce was silenced, Trashman growled "Any mercy i could show to you would be wasted, scum lik you doesn't deserve another chance, it would only provide you with another opportunity to betray another trust. No, i think it would be better for everyone if I were to end your dismal existance now. After all, you are the reason toxic wastes flow through my veins, a large portion of my bodily mass is composed of compost, not to mention the unholy aroma I exude . With this said, Trashman drug Folce through his house and back into his kitchen. Flipping a switch upon entering the room, he looked around the room where he had shared many meals with this backstabbing little man. With a small smile, as if recalling a fond memory, Trashman carried Folce to the sink and began cramming him down the garbage disposal which had been activated by the switch he had just thrown. Folce began to struggle and grabbed a large bottle of bleach from the edge of the sink and smashed it against Trashman's face, filling his eyes, nose, and mouth with the powerful cleaning agent. Well, Trashman just lost his temper completely with this latest affront and with a mighty heave, forced Folce the rest of the way down the disposal in a gyser of blood and bone fragments. As he stood there afterwards, he felt a twinge of remorse, he didn't like to throw away old friends like that, but it soon passed, after all, he was just doing what a trashman did, taking out the garbage. As Trashman left Folces former residence, he began to feel a little light headed, and he was rapidly developing a powerful case of the munchies. He sat down on the curb a feww blocks from Folces' place and picked a few cigarrette butts out of the gutter to munch on. It dawned on him that this feeling was some how familiar, it was if he had a really good beer buzz going. With his severly diminished, but still vastly superior compared to the ordinary man's intellect, he deduced that while the bleach that Folce had thrown at him might be toxic to him in large quantities, much like alcohol in normal people, in limited doses, it produced a nice little brain relaxer. Trashman decided that he didnt want to go after Spred Refuse in an altered state and risk not being able to savor his vengence, or worse, showing him mercy and thus lose any advantage over him he might have. He decided to hide in a dumpster and sleep it off. Trashman, as he dozed off, that he wouldn't have to bad of a hangover when he woke. He drifted off quickly, dreaming of revenge. TO BE CONCLUDED....... ============================================================================== well, now wasn't that just as nifty as it can possibly get? in about a week or 2 you will be seeing the conclusion of the wild and wacky world of trashman...