going ape shit press #41 by pip the angry youth

  well, it has been a while since i have written for my own mag... so i
  decided to get off of my lazy ass and write a story...

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  as most stories of this type begin, it was a typical day in a modern
  suburbia...  and our particular hero didn't see anything wrong with
  the day, so he took it easy for once...

  what they failed to realize is that there was an underground uprising
  of the midgits that used to be employed by the duncan doughnuts
  commercials, and all of a sudden their contract had run out so they
  were forced to live underground...

  "my people, as your ruler, mindaro, i command you to attack the
  surface world once again, and this time we'll make him look like the
  laughing stock of the entire company."

  and with that, they decided to attack the upper world and get rid of
  the guy with the mushtache on all of the duncan doughnuts
  commercials... armed with only lighters and crowbars they began their
  attack on the surface world.

  sam... sam i am, i am so tired sitting here with the keyboard in front
  of me and touch typing geverything that i have to say to everyone, i
  havn't slept in like allmost twenty hours... and if i wanted to i
  could just get right now... but i'm not goign to, i 'm et mother
  fucker, i know that i did such a typing mistake right there but i'm
  not going to fix ity... i'm just going to rattle off words and more
  words and different combonations of the same words, and maybe even the
  importation of new words like antidisestablishmentarianism...

  this is what sleep deprivation does to someone when they havn't slept
  more than 3 hrs in the past 20 hours... i'm so tired, but i can't
  sleep, i'm just laying here on my bed with my face buried directly
  into the pillow in front of me... the only way that i know the
  computer is stillworking is that i can hear the fan of it above the
  constant klack klack of the keyboard as i pound the keys at an
  alarming rate...

  i'm soiled, soil me, soil all of me...

  oh my god... the only thing that's keeping me awake, i realize, is
  the annoying beeping noise my computer does when i start to pass out
  and my fingers rest on the keyboard, and then it overloads the
  buffers... i'm working on a tandy-1000 with a whopping 384k of
  memory... it's the sx model... so there's a model that's lower than
  this... this computer sucks hardcore, i have a 386 downstairs, with
  thirty three megahertz of processing power, but i'm too lazy to go
  downstairs... beep beep beep... fucking computer doesn't stop beeping
  me, like i'm its only companion in life or something... i have to get
  out more... it's like the computer's my only companion... i need to
  hang out with my friends...

  why am i telling you this?  will this text file ever get released?  is
  this all you want to hear from me?  a constant stream of
  consiousness???  have you actually read this t-file this far?  i don't
  know why anyone would even want to read this shitbag of a t-file
  group... even though we're better than hoe will ever be...

  i'm going now...

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  crazy world, crazy mother fucking world...