going ape shit press #47 by pip the angry youth

  oi... i'm bloody angry...

  *O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*
                           this is just too much

  i walk out to the mailbox in front of my house as i do every day, and
  i look through the mail as i do every day.  i see a publication by a
  company named underground image, noticing that it's addressed to my 13
  year old brother i choose to further investigate.

  i sit down and pan through the pages... first page has a little comic
  that tries to seem 'underground' that contains a story about a
  weakling named 'meeks' who gets sand kicked in his face.  he gets
  overenraged by this and picks up a catalog with print t-shirts and he
  orders himself some... the next time he goes to the beach, he kicks
  the crap out of the original ruffian...  this glorifies the t-shirts
  just a little too much...

  throughout the catalog there are assorted letters scattered
  everywhere, with little quips of an answer from the editor that seem
  to be written by a narrow minded simpleton who refuses to see the
  world in any other angle than his own.  letters from irate mothers are
  answered with little more than a 'fuck you bitch', and letters from
  endorsers of the catalog are greeted with 'let our message be heard!  i
  am glad to hear something from someone who feels the same way i do!"

  this catalog has no political standings, but it portrays itself as
  having strong political values.  there isn't a single message in this
  entire farce of a publication, save the one 'capitolizing on early
  teenage angst and this whole alternative swing' that screams out to me
  in every single page.

  t-shirts that have messages such as 'anger is a gift' and 'fuck you'
  with a beautiful picture of a middle finger.  eightball holding and
  pot smoking rastafarian creatures with a enormous smile on their
  face...

  and my brother bought into it...

  i can't beleive this, i thought he had a brain in that undersized
  cranium of his.  i guess i was wrong, completely wrong.  he's wearing
  anarchy shirts from that company, a flimsy t-shirt with cheap
  silk-screening on it for 20 dollars.  underground my ass, more like
  capitolistic bastards.  but i'm not one to complain, so you didn't
  hear it from me...

  *O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

  hmph... grrr... anger is a gift... even my handle is to poke fun at
  teenage angst =]