going ape shit press #56 by pip the angry youth yeap, here's another part of the story about your favorite toes... %U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U% we left our five toes and frennie hannibal in their character development stages... "the end is neigh!", the old man crackled at the top of his lungs. "oh geeze, he's at it again, that's all we need.", remarked frennie as he kicked sand in the old man's face, and ran as fast as he could into the savannah with his new operated foot. little did he realize that his toes were allready formulating thier plans for world domination and taking over the cheese industries of the world. "eh heh heh", cackled pinky, "we shall first take over the leading industries in tokyo, starting with the intel factory, and work our way up to the lakehurst mcdonald's." --------------------------------------------------------------------------- "say it asshole, say it loud and proud you punk!" "i'm sorry, i'm sorry that i had ever looked at you biff." swallowing his pride by appologizing to the school's bully, frennie appologized for glancing at biff. walking home he heard a small voice come from below him. "we can make all of your problems disappear, once and forever. never coming back... we can be your all." frantically looking around, frennie tried to locate the origin of the voice. he finally cried out to the mysterious voice: "down here, inside of your shoes. take a look, take off your shoes and let us out." sitting down on the sidewalk he slowly and cautiously he unfastened the velcro that held his shoes closed. his jaw dropped in amazement. "gosh jolly geewilliquors!", shouted frennie. "what 'da fark are you?", cried frennie. from mrs. crosbey's fence frennie suprisingly hears, "well, what did you expect, we are your toes." now frennie was really confused. first he thought his toes were talking to him, now he was receiving voices from all kinds of inanimate objects such as rocks, trees, and benches. "stop it vinnie, we have business to take care of with our buddy here frennie" came a tiny little voice from his pinky toe. "let me introduce myself, i'm pinky... and starting from the toe next to me is uratosokudogitsu, then there's cassandra, then vinnie, and finally our not so bright friend, butch." "now that i know who you are, and you obviously know who i am, what the hell are you doing on my foot?!?!" "we were put here by doctor farkle, the one who operated on your feet. you must warn the world, he wants to conquor the world, for the time is coming of your eminant destruction!" "great, now i'm hallucinating... what could happen next?" sighed frennie. at that moment, frennie felt a sharp pain in the back of his skull and everything went black. this was probably brought about by a short man hitting him in the back of the head with a brick. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- what seemed to be moments later, but was actually several hours later, frennie woke up from his abrubtly brought about sleep by a cup of cold water to his face. "get up." said a dark voice from within the shadows. "what... uh... ow... great i'm bleading... what do you want from me?" "we want to employ you, we need your help with saving the world." "great, i'm hallucinating again, listen buddy, i'm not the world's salvation, i'm not a martyr or anything of the sort, so if you will just let me go..." as frennie started to get up and turn around, a strong hand shoved him right back into his original position. "listen, don't go anywhere, i don't want you to get hurt any more than you want to get hurt. now the mad scientist dr. farkle has implanted the five toes of the armageddon into your left foot. when we kidnapped you the five toes disconnected from your body and joined together to form an entity called captain toe jam!!! we need you to keep them from completing their plans." "let me get this straight, my left foot is going to destroy the world, summon up a character named captain toe jam!!! and the doctor that implanted my artificial toes was actually a mad scientist. next thing you're going to tell me is that you're going to implant fingers into my right hand that are going to fight these five toes of the armageddon or something." "as a matter of fact, yes." "oh great, how could this get any wors... what the fuck?!?!?" a needle was abruptly shoved into frennie's arm and he was injected with a high dosage of a personal concoction of the mystery doctor. "fuck me..." said frennie as he lapsed into his second coma of the day. %U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U%U% strangeness will transpire in the next installment of 'frennie and the five toes of the armageddon'...