going ape shit press #64 by a few good souls "john tesh lyrics" ======================================================================(+)=- what is this? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!@ gasp?!@ back?!@ GASP?!@ BACK?!@ yeah baby! nothing but buttah!@ i would start in with that back in black crap, but it's already been done (gaspmega.001)... i could end gasp right here and now... but i've just started, and it's been done before (gasp.059 gaspmega.006)... i could bitch about life, but that's already been done also... (gasp*.*)... so guess what i'm going to do... i'm going to write some poetry and a story!@ yay!@ ======================================================================(+)=- ode to an odiferous oddball by pip the angry youth oh my left testicle why are you so discolored? what are those things that are hatching out of you? they look like maggots but they have teeth and what's that black puss could something be wrong? could it possibly be the barrels in the lake or the d-con in my milk who could be out there ======================================================================(+)=- CONSPIRACY!$#%()*! ( mother fucker =) ) a poem of love, angst, and life in the new millenium by pezmonkey okay, this is going to suck. i quit writing for e'zines, but uh, pip sir told me to write for gasp, and i said sure, because gasp is pretty cool, and i want to get in pip's pants. the topic he gave me to write about is conspiracy. i don't actually have anything to say, but since this is gasp, i don't think it matters. basically, uh, conspiracy. . . let's see. well, everything's a conspiracy. h0e, b0mb, mog3l's existence. . . and, of course, college. college is the biggest conspiracy. i am having an existential crisis about college, because i don't want to be here, and everything is fake. it's a conspiracy because no one really cares about what you do, or write. they're just sort of making you do it because it's always been the rules, and you don't really want to write the papers or take the tests, and whatever you actually write down (in/on either of those) doesn't really make any difference ultimately. it just helps to keep the smoking man in business in brazil. or something. so, yeah, that was dumb. pretty incoherent, out of order, etc., other things. i like spaghetti. and ramen. ramen is the biggest college conspiracy. it is made out of leftover grain pieces and cow parts that no one wants, and is sold for 10 cents a packet (though on good days, i can find it for 5). but man is it yummy. spice up your life. you pinko, left-wing, communist bed-wetter conspiracist. ======================================================================(+)=- the girl i'm going to marry by pip the angry youth is she just the most wonderful girl in the whole wide world? i'm in LO0o00O00o0O0o0Oo0o0O0O0oVE!@ so neat!@ she wants to get into my pants... she wants to be mine!@ she hates writing papers and wonders why the hell she's forced to!@ it's PEZMONKEY... that chick who goes to school in southern california who makes writing for zines sound oh-so-dirty!@... our wedding will be tragically simple, and wonderful, and elegant... we'll start it off with circus midgets... dancing their little dances, feasting on each other's flesh... it will be oh so sensual, we shall watch them bathing in each other's blood... consuming all until there is nothing left to consume... then the wedding guests shall join in on the frenzy by rolling around in the pools of blood, rubbing it all over each other... stripping the clothes off of the person closest to themselves, hips and entire bodies gyrating with extreme pleasure... tasting each other... trusting miscelanious body parts inside of other miscelanious body parts... "ooh"ing and "aaahhh"ing... feeling the blood clot on their skin... breaking open on their joints... lavishing in the pure decadence of the act... loving every single moment of it... and then we release the two dozen dobermans that we've been starving for the past four days... they shall lunge upon the guests with great abandon, tearing flesh from bone... gnaw on their facial features... ripping off an ear here, a nose there... genitals coveted for the delicious giblets that they are... we shall watch people fruitlessly try to escape the feeding frenzy, just to get dragged back in ankles first... kicking and screaming... once the last breath has been taken, after the last vision of starving dogs gnawing on their flesh has been enjoyed... we shall retire to the romp room talking giddily to each other... wonderout out loud if the guests truely enjoyed themselves, or if it was just an act to be polite... we'll then go through the wedding gifts, laughing at how idiotic the choices people made were... "who would ever want a frying pan??? do *i* cook???", "great, a juicer... i need this like i need a hole in the head...", "oh, honey! look! two tickets to see cats on broadway!"... oh, we'll enjoy ourselves... but then the real fun begins... but that is another story... in a future gasp... ================================================( gasp )==================== well, so much for our resurgance... keep your eyelids peeled back and wrapped around your head for the next issue of gasp... one of the oldest text file lines in existance!@# (if you don't count uxu, cdc, hoe, or whatever... but we're still old and shit!@#) 03jan95 - birth of gasp 12dec98 - this issue is released our four year anniversary is coming up!@... phear!@ notpip@hotmail.com http://www.alfheim.net/~duncan/gasp