.sd$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$bs. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$' `$ `$ `$) ($ `$ `$$ $$ $$$ss$ $$$$$$ $$$ $$$$$ $$$ $ $$$$$$$ $$ $. $ $$$$ $$' $ $ $$'.$ $$$$$ $$ $$$$ $ $$$$$$ s. $$ $ sss$$ $$$$$$$ $$. .$ $ $$ `$ $ $$$$$ $$ $$$&@%@&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ `$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$' _________ _____ issue #13 --------------------------- 04/97 ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ "We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like "'I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive. . . .'" And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. And a voice was screaming: "'Holy Jesus! What are thse goddamn animals?'" - the opening paragraph of: "Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas" by Hunter S. Thompson -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- (the following was started 11/96 and finished 4/97 shit. early this morning, in the midst of a nicotine fit, i found that my car had been broken into. it wasn't like last time; they didn't just break the window. they were back with a fucking vengeance. what was formerly the nicest thing i owned now appears to be the most expensive item of trash i own. christ. i'm not wholly unrealistic of my expectations of the human race. i'm not a goddamn utopian. the only thing i presume about the future is that humans will always act upon their strongest desire. obviously, the strongest desire in this case was to break into my goddamn car. my desire, not my expection of this situation was that atleast they could have done it in a more polite manner. my completely idealistic case for "polite" burglary: item 1 - stereo theft is lucrative. they don't make small change selling my stereo to some fat pawn broker named Bubba. they can afford a slim jim. item 2 - with that slim jim, they can conceivably break into my car without damaging anything that i have to replace. this is not inclusive of a stereo. that is not a necessity. a window, however, is a necessity. item 3 - the result is more aesthetically pleasing. with a prettier mess having been made, the car owner (myself included) could be less pissed off about the theft. item 4 - the less pissed off that the car owner is, the less he or she is likely to complain. the less he or she complains, the less awareness is made about the issue. the less awareness that there is about an issue, the less likely that stiffer penalties will be enacted against the would-be burglar that gets caught. obviously, this can work to the benefit of the car owner and the burglar. too bad it will never happen this way. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- THE SHORTEST MUSICIAN REVIEW YOU WILL EVER HEAR: joan miro + jackson pollack + a radish = wesley willis -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- a few choice reasons why you should fear the Christian Coalition: * "The feminist agenda...is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft and become lesbians" - Pat Robertson (founder of the Christian Coalition) * they are patently a collective of vehement pro-lifers * Newt Gingrich is a supporter * "You know who's pushing [abortion]. You saw some of those women out there. I mean those women aren't ever going to have a baby by anybody. I mean, these are primarily lesbians, and lesbians don't have babies. And it's the one thing a mother has - that a lesbian can never have - is this femininity, and they can never achieve that. And so, in order to level the field, they say, "Hey, let you abort your baby so you'll be like us, because we don't have them." - Pat Robertson * from my naive perspective, i perceive all christian's as fascists. in all actuality only 98% are fascists. * they believe in writing their "morals" into law. * i got beat up by christians when i was a kid. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- feel free to ask me questions about the issue or otherwise. send me your text. if i like them they will be published. contact me at the distro sites: vip------------------(214)494-1024 our newest distro site -------> high weirdness-------(214)288-6755 our new web page (perpetually under construction)----, ____________________________________________) ( `---> http://rampages.onramp.net/~rick/geripe/index.html (many thanks to id for his generosity) if you would like for your bbs to be a distro site please contact me. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- grp_eot