__ / \ /____\ .________/][][][\_______. \___________ __________/ ! / /!/ //!\ \! __!_\ ! / /_/ // \\ \ \_____ / __ // /\ \\ \_____ \ / / / // ____ \\ \____\ \ /_/ /_//_/ \_\\_\______\ T-File_7______February_2_2005 The Capacitor Trick By The HATS Crew DLo was a black metal punk, an anarchist, and most importantly a Dominican. He was proud of his latino heritage, and rebellious light brown locks. He wore a Guess leather jacket and a slightly different plaid shirt every day. One day, while sticking it to the man with a Monty Python t-shirt, he opened up a birthday card from his aunt that arrived earlier that day in the mail. Inside the envelope that had been raped and abused and forced through the beurocracy of the pony express, was a Best Buy gift certificate. "Oh no," he thought, "how the fuck am I going to remain a true anarchist if I conform to the man by purchasing a fascist product from the even more fascist store known as Best Buy?" Finally a plan came to him after moments of not having a plan. Later that week he was in Best Buy. He pulled a Type O Negative album off the shelf, their fake live one, and proceeded to the cash register. The clerk rang him up, and as he was about to hand over the card and his soul, he rethought his decision. "No," he said to the offensively caucasian voice in his head, then ran to the back of the store and picked up a TV. He brought it to the front and completed the transaction. He went outside and ripped opened the nearest lamp post, and spliced the wires with the power cord on the boob tube. Minutes later, he ripped opened the monitor, and carried it into the store and discharged the giant capacitor on the Nazi clerk, who had a fascist pacemaker, and was killed instantly. DLo then picked up the Type O Negative album, still sitting on the counter and walked out. It was cool, and now thats the capacitor trick.