{begin} INTEGRAL.FUNCTIONS.011 dd/mm/yy = 15/06/96 {=========================================================================} ~|~ |~| ~|~ |~~ |~~ |~| |~| | | | | | | | . | | | | | | | | | |~ | | |~, |~| | _|_ | | | |__ |_| | | | | |__ |~~ | | |~| |~~ ~|~ ~|~ |~| |~| |~~ | | | | | | | | | | | | | |~ | | | | | | | | | | | `~| | |_| | | |__ | _|_ |_| | | __| {=========================================================================} {get FILE_ID.DIZ} Integral Functions is a bi-weekly electronic 'zine that encourages both stylistic and topical experimentation in all possible forms of literary self-expression. {get NET_SITE.NFO} Issues SHOULD be available on the FTP site approximately one month after their release, but we are VERY behind in getting around to uploading them. Only the first 3-4 issues are available at this time. Please read the instructions on the site to be sure that you download and uncompress the files correctly. FTP: ftp.etext.org /pub/Zines/IntegralFunctions Gopher: gopher.etext.org Zines/IntegralFunctions If you are having trouble connecting, this site also has two alternate addresses: etext.archive.umich.edu OR locust.cic.net {=========================================================================} {get CONTENTS.LST} 00000001 scatter-works: june 1996 00000010 Censorship 00000011 (juxtaposition) (fixation) 00000100 HER PLASTIC WAY 00000101 technology you can scoff at 00000110 *LitModel39-Series: Psych* 00000111 AnywhichwaytoD0it. 00001000 Selected Poems: June 01, 1996 - June 15, 1996 00001001 The Product Of 00001010 'wristwatch tangerine' 00001011 Dream - May 31, 1996 00001100 "Times have changed since the violence..." 00001101 an incoherent scribble in shari's yearbook 00001110 Copyright Information {=========================================================================} "scatter-works: june 1996" (anonymous) [1] from my outpost in the organism i observe the processes and components collide in a mundane collection of features and functions peering view internal, from out (involvement) world apart and unattached organisms feeding upon organisms forming organisms a cycle of needs and end [2] "thrall" life inconfined miserable replica of my natural place my meat lays cold without competition forth and back pace track (playing typical) they watch my days of deadness gnawing the strain chain (always forever again) wishing -- away i'm bored [3] the groove plummets downward progression sounding wave riplets outwards -- all ways vibration and infection stimulating -- feeling surrounding tissue [4] "gogomo" mechanisms thrown in motion back and forth -- up, down -- ground around destructive cyclic slice attacking with metal malice announcing it's operation a system high in decibel releasing gasses of organry as free revolution tamed and once products torn [5] "DST-ryp" i am BOTen box(r) boy skitterbug mechdables like insex creep crick crack search about find a paRATus find newborn way out needs program struct pushes search muzzt have, aquire the requirements why NO response to inputory proceed for not no purpose destryp ordeRED fragmentaries it's move cease, onward go [6] get in with the tones -- box a constricted compartment quick flows through cement vein circling the site spots aquiring your taste where to mister parasitey? {=========================================================================} Censorship Ryan Lavallee "It is better to debate a question without settling it than to settle a question without debating it."[1] By this statement, Joseph Joubert (1754-1824) demonstrated his recognition of the importance of deliberation on a topic of controversy, even if a conclusive solution resolving the problems associated with the issue is never reached. The process of disputing questionable issues of society has been in existence far longer than Joubert's observation, however. Thousands of years ago, the institution of authoritative bodies in society precipitated the questioning of the degree of control those who are in power should have over those who are not. Although people may not have recognized it as such in this time period, they were no less concerned about a concept that has outlived any code of law or set of morals - censorship, commonly interpreted as any supervision or control exercised by anybody in authority over public communication, conduct or morals[2]. Early censorship in the Greek city-states outlawed conduct insulting to the gods or dangerous to the public order; the English term "censorship" itself is derived from the Roman official who dictated public morality known as the censor. After having been debated for millenniae, censorship and its restriction on freedom is still a volatile issue that is continually being scrutinized. One of the founding principles of western countries is freedom. Many people who originally settled here fled from societies that did not allow them the freedom to practice or even to express their religious, political, and social beliefs. The people who came here and turned this land into countries were determined to preserve all possible freedom for the inhabitants. The very First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, added in 1791, pledged that "Congress should make no law abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press". Canadians have also been trying to keep their country as free as possible, from its birth to modern day society; the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms, brought into effect in 1982, stated that everyone has the "freedom of thought, belief, opinion and expression, including freedom of the press and other media of communication". In spite of these seemingly clear prohibitions against obstructing freedom of expression, censorship is a [1] Joseph Joubert (1754-1824), Censorship - Opposing Viewpoints, p. 9 [2] CENSORSHIP, The New American Desk Encyclopedia, p. 241 controversial issue throughout Canadian and American society. Debates continue to the present day over exactly what forms of speech will be in accordance with the Canadian and American Constitutions. In areas such as speech, national security, and education, people are still divided over whether the government has the right to restrict individual expression to protect its citizens. Some people believe that even in a nation whose chief value is freedom, certain things should not be tolerated, while others believe that freedom should be preserved at all costs. Freedom of speech is one of the basic priveleges guaranteed to all Canadians and Americans by their countries' respective constitutions. Traditionally, no form of speech should be censored unless it poses a direct harm to others. Shouting "fire" in a crowded theater (if no fire exists) is the most familiar example of harmful and outlawed speech. However, this seemingly straightforward view of freedom of speech raises the question of whether some speech should be considered so harmful that its censorship is justified. Many believe that those people who support white supremacy and racial hatred do not deserve freedom of speech protections, while others argue that preventing a white supremacist from speaking is one step toward censoring other unpopular kinds of speech as well. If a country does not believe in racism though, it should not protect racist speech. The concept of "free speech" is quite abstract when compared to the real and documented historical violence of the Ku Klux Klan and its allies. The Klan has murdered and organized for over 120 years - does that not demonstrate a direct threat of harm being posed by the Klan to others? According to U.S. law, it doesn't. In a 1969 case involving a KKK leader at a rally in Hamilton County, Ohio, the U.S. Supreme Court unanimously established the principle that speech may not be restrained or punished unless it "is directed to inciting or producing imminent lawless action and is likely to incite or produce such action."[3] In this case, the Supreme Court made it clear that before a speaker can be suppressed there must be a "clear and present danger that the audience will act illegally and do what the speaker urges - not just believe in what is advocated"[4]. In addition, speech can only be restrained if it is in an individual face-to-face encounter, and is not nonverbal symbols displayed before a general audience. Evidently, it is quite difficult for speech to be considered harmful, and consequently, illegal. What the Supreme C established [3] Brandenburg v. Ohio, Censorship - Opposing Viewpoints, p.23 [4] Censorship - Opposing Viewpoints, p.23 removes so many restrictions on speech that it is difficult to legally restrain speech until harm is already done. Is there much sense in setting these conditions for free speech if it cannot be dealt with until after it has caused harm? Clearly, the censorship of such speech is justified and necessary for the protection of society as a whole. Legal philosopher Edmond Cahn argued that prohibition against group defamation would be detrimental to society at the Hebrew University in Jerusalem in 1962.[5] He said that if group defamation was prohibited, anyone who distributed the Christian Gospels could be prosecuted, as they contain defamatory statements about Jews and Christians, and Greek literature could be banned for calling the rest of the world barbarians. However, it is apparent that Cahn failed to recognize that there is a great difference between the Ku Klux Klan and church officials, or historians. How often does a church official or historian rally to incite listeners to murder individuals from an entire race or group? Clearly, the racist speech of the Ku Klux Klan is more harmful than the distribution of the Holy Bible. The need to protect people from racist speech far outweighs the right of freedom of expression; the defeat of racism is a greater priority to society than is the right to unrestricted free speech. Undeniably, the censorship of certain forms of harmful speech is justified. In the interests of national security, public access to military information is regularly restricted by the government. However, many journalists oppose these restrictions, considering them a form of unnecessary censorship. Most journalists would agree that there are some legitimate reasons for government secrecy, but problems arise with the issue of distinguishing between those times when secrecy is legitimate and those times it is not. Many feel that the person with access to the information may make uninformed decisions concerning secrecy that may not be in the public interest. The public's interest in knowing about its government is guaranteed by the freedom of the press, but there have been cases in which the release of sensitive information has had an adverse effect, and the lives of many government employees and the security of a country as a whole are reasons to restrict media access to confidential information. The CIA in the United States indicates this in the occasion of the assassination of a CIA agent in Athens, Greece in 1975.[6] A newspaper had published his name and the fact that he worked for the CIA, and the agent was killed less than a month later. [5] Censorship - Opposing Viewpoints, p. 25 [6] Censorship - Opposing Viewpoints, p.96 The CIA came to the conclusion that the agent's death was attributed to the publication of his name and title. This case and many others like it shows that in some cases freedom of the press should be restricted. Often, though, the valid argument is presented that the press should serve the governed and not the governors; restricting the press gives the government the opportunity to deceive its people. A common belief is held that no reporter would deliberately publish information hurtful to national security. Unfortunately, there is always the possiblity of error in judgement of what could be harmful to national security. The debate over national security and the public's right to know addresses two important concerns of the governed people in a nation - the security of the country and the right of free speech and a free press that is guaranteed in the Constitution. There is no perfect solution to the issue, but it would be senseless to feign indifference - only through continued examination will the best possible decision be reached on when the government should be allowed to use national security as a reason to justify censorship. For as long as schools and libraries have existed, it has probably been debated whether schoolchildren and the general public should be protected from offensive and subversive materials, or if such materials should be available in public schools and libraries. The opposing argument to the censorship of questionable materials in libraries is that in a democracy, where all ideas are debated by tradition, a wide range of materials from all points of view should be available to the public. Since selection has to be made anyways, teachers and librarians choose only the most educational and uplifting materials to be purchased. If people wish to read books with graphic illustrations of sodomoy and bestiality, they may do so in the private sector. There should be no restrictions on the publication of such materials, but they are not appropriate for a place designed for intellectual pursuits, such as a library or school. Of course, anything with any intellectual value should not be restricted from a library, no matter how controversial. People should not be denied the opportunity to know about another's ideas. If they feel they are being exposed to material they disagree with or find offensive, there is nothing preventing them from ceasing to explore that material. Books are written to entertain, to make people think, to excite them, and to expose them to new ideas. If libraries were stripped down, many people would be incapable of thinking and understanding parts of themselves, other human beings, or the world. Schools, where young people are under the intellectual guidance of responsible adults, are the perfect place to give students the opportunity to choose which ideas they wish to be exposed to. Students cannot learn to make independent judgements unless they are exposed to numerous ideas, no matter how controversial. The censoring of public or school libraries is detrimental to society as it threatens the quality of education and availability of knowledge. Disagreements between people occasionally causes dislike or hatred between the opposing parties. Under controlled situations, however, it strengthens the individuals involved by increasing their awareness and allowing them to add to their own knowledge. Censorship is a sensitive topic for many people in a variety of situations. The desire for freedom is inherent in all human beings, and is one of the founding principles of our nation. As shown in the harm caused by permitting the expression of racist thoughts, there are some cases in which control must be placed over public expression in order to protect society as a whole. In other situations, though, such as the restriction of certain materials in libraries, censorship can affect people adversely. Problems can arise in the deciding of who should have the authority to place restrictions on freedom. Benjamin Franklin addressed this issue in the 18th century: "Abuses of the freedom of speech ought to be repressed, but to whom are we to commit the power of doing it?"[7] A conclusive decision is difficult to reach when considering censorship in matters such as national security. The best interests of both the government and its people must be taken into account in order to preserve national unity. As a result, in many cases no definite conclusion can be reached regarding what justifies the restriction of speech. Although there may never be a perfect solution to what forms of expression should be restricted, continued debating will bring society closer to having as much freedom as possible while still keeping the protection rewarded by the constructive use of censorship. [7] Benjamin Franklin, Censorship - Opposing Viewpoints, pg. 12 Bibliography The New American Desk Encyclopedia, Concord Reference Books, Inc., 1993 Censorship - Opposing Viewpoints, Greenhaven Press, Inc., 1990 "We all Believe in Censorship", Los Angeles Times, April 29, 1990, Krauthammer, Charles "New Freedom--and New Threats", World Press Review, February 1990 {=========================================================================} (juxtaposition) (fixation) By Curtis Yateman The rodent took it upon himself to follow the man. Not because he looked particularly interesting, just...because. The rodent worked that way. The man walked into a drugstore and purchased some Tylenol, then as he walked out, the rodent observed him dump the pills into a sewer grate. Ah hah! The rodent exclaimed, then rushed down the grate and found the pills, now wet from the rushing toxic water. The rodent quickly collected the pills and put them in a safe place. They would be useful to him later, perhaps on the black rodent market. When the rodent returned to the surface, the man had disappeared. The rodent was not disgruntled, but rather pleased. Victory was his. Suddenly the rodent heard a rushing sound, a loud squeal and then no more. The rodent's brains were squashed out over the road as tire rubber rushed over his head. His limp body would stay there for three days, and then wash out with a rainfall. The Tylenol pills ( about 20 ) would be broken apart and rendered useless by the water. The man took the empty bottle and tossed it aside, went home, looked at a picture of his grandmother for awhile, then put his pyjamas on and settled on top of his TV for a good night's rest, staring at the bed on the floor. He awoke to his phone ringing the next morning. He got up and answered. " Goodbye? " " Goodbye. Mr. Smith John? " " No. That is me. " " Well sir, I am informing you that you don't have to be at the interview by 8:30 AM. " " You thank. You thank very much. " " No problem. Hello. " " Hello. " Smith got dressed and went to the interview. In the car on the way there, the Smith laughed at a woman who was being mugged. He laughed even harder when the man mugging her stabbed her. Her white dress soon became blood soaked as she fell limp to the ground. Smith laughed so hard that he was forced to stop the car. He suddenly had no initiative. Smith turned the car around and looked at the picture of his grandmother for the rest of the day. Much more pleasing. FIN {=========================================================================} HER PLASTIC WAY (june 9, 1996) her plastic way to ancient secret evolved by computer assembly line adventure let's begin hate remedies of mass production... she avoid hands of want taste learning of digital prostitution and nuclear hormones! her weapons are apathy and grace her plastic way that laughter erupts from her sub-routine bowels causes dermal hair hyper gasps her body a blasphemous instrument while dirt of world keeps interest she builds rigid laws that offend the television universe her mirrorshades windows to the future communism. her plastic way of remedy vibration collapse new order fall in love with atrophy a sub-routine of impossible composure. she was what the world was. she became self-contradiction and inactivity a global fate even machines helpless, her plastic way cannot save us. end. (c) copyright, 1996 gh {=========================================================================} "technology you can scoff at" (no know) on television, i came across a program talking of monitoring a penis erection with some glorious gadgetry. (i don't know whether or not the entire program was dedicated to this. the portion that i took in took up a few mere minutes). a man was laying on a tableÄ-a typical doctor's office type-tableÄ-and a doctor was allowing him to listen to the blood rushing (loudly) in his own penis, as it firmed up stiff. the man expressed amazement. then, an x-ray image was shown of the penis firming and rising from dangley limp meat, and I giggled helplessly. afterwardsÄ-after thoughtÄ-i wondered what was done to arouse the man. {=========================================================================} `*LitModel39ÄÄSeries:Psych*' (Angela Dreamblur) the following is poetry -- manufactured with experimental production technique (which does not involved computers) `painting' starting putting principles along retain occurs time device colour achieved sensitive objection perceptiveness communication consciousness every which effectiveness responses not eventually several group dream replied deviance who problems according situations featured intelligence sound `industrial' forming governed person's confusing laboratory health impairing daily research subjecting roll response attribution others common consumption agression anxiety putting child rearing therapist personal depression come they additive variations stream evolution senses state dependant study dynamics one look developement process low imagery violated `cannibas' complex heredity awake first sleep have verbal minimize material negative readability breakthrough revision emotion effects disorder fear complex modest misleading professional playing attitudes among about medical sought constructive hard estimates years parents stimulus defect judges insanity {=========================================================================} AnywhichwaytoD0it. -> Curtis Yateman ----===== Fist Clenched =====---- Fist clenched he strolls into the room with a pride that was scooped out of the air, his fist (the left one) is clenched unconsciously, he knows that maybe, no, FOR CERTAIN, he will succeed, the new-found pride he has grasped has allowed him to open up to the world and get himself out of the reclusive cycle he has thrown himself into. \/\/\/\/\ Others \/\/\/\/\/\ Others have told him the way he should walk, that he could do it, with the initiative that he now held, the path he walked now was one of glory, so he strolls into the room with a certain sense of pride. He is living off of what he has been told. ---------> Looking <--------- Looking into the stern face, he could feel all that he had built up fall, and the next words he heard destroyed him completely. " Get it through your thick fucking skull, you are NOT a woman, thus you CANNOT be a runway model, I've told you this a hundred times, now get the FUCK out and never come back again. " Plan Two. He shoots the man, runs out in a frenzy, is found in his apartment two days later, goes through a lengthly trial, pleads insanity, and ends up in an insane asylum, wearing a straight-jacket. And he feels beautiful. FIN {=========================================================================} Selected Poems: June 01, 1996 - June 15, 1996 (by Gideon Hartwell) ONE. the dead own this land pale regret watches over it taking notes an archive of errors can we take a few steps back rather than just looking and shaking our heads i want to be an apocalypse of joy i want rivers to inundate the cites i want trees to sprout from the rubble like feathers on a head dress can we worship the rivers and the trees they have hands but we do not see them they reach deep into the earth reaching pointing we do not see them looking to the sky as if it held answers this is called denial to err is human we must look to the animals for guidance they are perfect because we did not make them they made themselves we must rebuild ourselves the tools are here ----- TWO. do the trees feel me in their arms do they hear me sending my love does the wind translate i don't understand the language of leaves but as far as i know love is universal ----- THREE. river water of infinite tears my body breaks you ----- FOUR. humid taste touch grit smell harbour labour urine river rancid haste launch bell ----- FIVE. balance soul outward body representation springs architecture stress faults blame eruptions and official declarations of states of emergency boots laced to the top articulation of collapse no kidding laugh at pain leather hesitation ----- SIX. can any conceptual container hold my without overflowing ----- SEVEN. nightmares of michigan: i am lost in a wholesale isle; bathing in metallic; a perpetual motion sickness; distance creates strangers; men with bloodshot noses smile at me; i am hitch hiking back to canada no one picks me up so i have to walk how can i avoid detroit ----- EIGHT. suspenders are innovative weapons ----- NINE. conformity of facial feature of chrome skin jungle of newspaper clipping hedges stop end fence frontal assault of artificial smiles are gleaming car bumpers ----- TEN. screamdance decadence deluxe shipments supply material desired suburbo-industrio zoning sites for conversion complex link reinforced concrete city animals try to cope ----- ELEVEN. unsymmetrical lips i taste your distortion love deformity caress genetic err carcass affection ----- TWELVE. rocks tell stories of their fragmentation beach grave ----- THIRTEEN. when i collapse does love forgive ----- FOURTEEN. if my body could re- present the emotion that inundates me in your presence i would shatter into a thousand mon- archs ----- FIFTEEN. drag me through your pollution i even worship your feces this horror must be love ----- SIXTEEN. even the horizon hates me animaltrees wilt before i think of killing them ----- SEVENTEEN. machines help me write they suggest words that my mind would otherwise replace with spaces sometimes it feels good to be empty do you understand machine let me concentrate on being let me experience the atrophy of my body rather than of my culture ----- EIGHTEEN. its when superman rewinds the earth that we experience deja vu ----- NINETEEN. dear friend my tiny pills can cure your upside-down smile ----- TWENTY. this old man sucks food particles from his teeth as if tender memories ----- TWENTY-ONE. i was spending my time with dan letting him talk his life sorrows into me, made to feel like my tragedies are quiet and suburban (we are in a bakery that has a bar). i am wearing a wedding ring to remind me of my marriage to myself, to prevent myself from being taken from my body. a detour for yesterday's regret. my pain is feeble and diluted. i am soluble within myself. ----- TWENTY-TWO. i am super saturated with poetry even writing poems in my dreams can't tell dreams from reality poems everywhere inundate me ----- TWENTY-THREE. in the dreams i don't try to fix broken people, i try to comfort them, i am not a human mechanic. sad. ----- TWENTY-FOUR. even the walls have feelings ----- TWENTY-FIVE. there must be more coathangers on the earth than people. ----- TWENTY-SIX. i even want to kiss your one day stubble ----- TWENTY-SEVEN. clockwork universe can you give me the time ----- TWENTY-EIGHT. escape fertile pods bouncing genetic landscape three thousand cycles suffer sweet chromosome conformity more constants than variables uterus of ashes new forest bloom brightly as if the sun were a meteorite all life ablaze and suitable suffer sweet congenial universe until forever is delayed ----- TWENTY-NINE. steel bisociation all memories bleed then clot mesh of yesterday hold me become my body landscape of scabs i can't move ----- THIRTY. accidents = happiness like poetry ----- THIRTY-ONE. for years machines have been down on bended knee in proposal so hard to refuse machines wear wedding gowns entice us and if in the future we were to divorce them they would take everything everything ----- THIRTY-TWO. dear bird dead in my hands (dead by our hands) your body becomes weightless as confusion pain misery dissipate spirit enter me tonight i will dream of flying i will consume beauty i will become light ----- THIRTY-THREE. i collect my words as if they are stamps that become worthless with age what did i mean so long ago or yesterday did i think i was happy or something ----- {=========================================================================} The Product Of (by Meadowlark) My wardrobe is largely neutral. Not only neutral in colour, but in style. Most of my clothes are very plain and physically unobtrusive upon others. No company logo is displayed anywhere on them, and the shirts have no collars, buttons, or pockets. The pants in my wardrobe are either standard blue jeans, or grey/brown pants. My hair is cut short. Too short to be styled in any way, yet not so short as to be intimidating. My voice is soft - when I use it - which isn't very often. Only when I am spoken too, or if I feel obligated to say "Hello," or "How are you?". I try to determine this through observing the body language of the potential interacting figure. My eyes rest upon the void of the landscape, not seeing. I do not stare, as I am unable to focus upon anything. I fill the void of numbers. I am the face that you don't notice in crowds. If you do happen to notice me, I am not memorable. You will not stare, as there is nothing to stare at. I am not beautiful, nor am I ugly. I have no odd features. I just am. I am the the product of demographics. I am normal. I am accepted. I am. {=========================================================================} "wristwatch tangerine" (moe loko) 'what you brats up to eh?'. there was me and my three droogs who were peter and paul and teddy. sometimes we would call teddy dim because he was real dim like. not bright that is and he didn't usually pony quite what was happening and what everyone was doing everywhere. 'what you brats up to eh?. we were at our desks gavoreeting about what to do with our recess when the starry veck teacher of ours interupted us but a flash of the britvka and he shut his fat rot real skorry like. peter suggested said that maybe we should try to see pretty polly's panties again and paul suggested we pay billy a visit and teddy just smecked and smecked and smecked like always. we couldn't all agree to one vesch so we all just went to the playground to viddy what would turn up. and then {=========================================================================} Dream - May 31, 1996 (spelling and grammer unedited) I am home in the summer. Family has been gone a long time Vacation? We just got back. Dad and I are in the upstairs bathroom, and we find a mourning dove living there. Dad takes it out and releases it in the front yard. Then I am in my room singing, and I find another mourning dove in my window curtains and I release it in the front porch - my dad is shouting from the kitchen to be careful when handling the bird, and I feel patronized. Then I am talking to mom, asking her if I can watch TV, because she watches TV during all her waking hours - there is a show that is going to have an interview with Tori Amos - she let me watch my show. They had a recent interview with Tori Amos, then showed an older one, looked like from the early eighties - she had frizzed short hair and fake tatoos all over her chest, arms, and face - heavy red lipstick - a sort of post-punk look and attitude to her gestures. The interview was filmed in the back of a limo, so the camera work is slightly shaky, and the camera is too close. Then I am in control of the sound system, and I am playing bad music. (Wired, speakers all over house implanted in walls) Justine and Meghan are there too. Mom is asking Mike before he leaves to go back to Michigan what food to cook for the wedding. The wedding is only a few days away. Then I am suddenly in Michigan outside a church after Sunday service. The priest has a store (a variety store) in the back of his church. But it is not the priest who is selling. I am with Brian and he is telling how he and his girlfriend made up - his girlfriend realized that she over-reacted - they had some fight about a newspaper article they had read together. How stupid. I buy a book in the store written by a female poet (Jong? Atwood?) about how to write poetry. I am paying for it and I ask if I can come back to buy something later - I suddenly realize what a stupid question that is and I say "of course I can...you always like to get money!" to the person behind the counter. Then Brian and I leave. We are in the church, which is his house. I am alone now - his house is old and whimsical. A cross between the old Simpson farm and Judith & Viktor Tinkl's house. Upstairs there is a glass - painted, and a wire sculpture hanging over the kitchen table. I really like it. I leave and come back later to visit the priest and see the wire sculpture again. He isn't home so I go in - it is getting dark outside - I choose the wrong door to get to the kitchen and instead go downstairs where the priest has a hidden son locked away in a room marked as: "QUEER CAGE". The son is bouncing around with sheets wrapped around him. I panic and run back upstairs - the house is complex - trying to find my way to the upstairs kitchen with the sculpture - I finally find it - it is nighttime and the house has lost its whimsy and become frightening. I know that I won't be able to find my way out of the house, and I realize I will be caught and locked up or something. I realize I am dreaming and that my dream has become a nightmare, but I don't wake up. I try to figure out a way to wake myself up. I see the large full wall window painted in the kitchen - run and jump through it - shatters and I fall, hoping to wake up - I fall and am close to hitting the ground but I don't want to - I want to wake up first - and I do - I wake up saying "ahhh...!" in a soft voice - I must have been screaming in the dream. I make a wierd/obvious association when in the bathroom taking a needed pee: (window) pane = (physical) pain. {=========================================================================} Times have changed since the violence of things in the electronic age. Here, in the english-speaking countries that remain, we grow rice in our minds. A savage age, running from the dogs we have let lose on ourselves, eternal fear. We have discovered that only thought can exceed the speed of light. I tell you, I'm so sick of the smell of wood. At night, I dream of steel concepts, covering the mess of sky. I used to find thought so beautiful, like atoms. The loss of privacy isn't that big of a deal. I vaguely remember what it felt like to be corperal. I remember landscapes, colours, faces, and the sound of voices. A time when the individual had so much control. They thought they could invent a eutopia. They thought machines were the answer. I wish I could bleed. I want it all back: the bullshit politics, the social cliques, everything. Keep your proverbial ears out of my head. Beauty is transparency. {=========================================================================} an incoherent scribble in shari's yearbook yearbook we were never hip (often hardened emotion of not going to cabbage patch kids do you still draw? atari florida swimming pools over the fence in the backyard out into the brush thinking of snakes and things seasame street the tv so high shag carpet harpsichord in my head one year halloween everyone went out as punks insects were interesting reality belonged to adults dr. seuss is god playboy/playgirl (orange rotating chair) back corner "gross!" happy for you and your large clique boogers are evil. brush our teeth together e.t. (the movie) what happened press certain buttons hands come out the devil chase around pole and die neighbour had hammock ("hands come out!") muppets take manhattan you were conditioned not to be afraid of basements i admired that {=========================================================================} {get COPYRITE.NFO} Each work within this volume is copyright 1996, by its respective author. This file may be reproduced and distributed in its current form or as a printed document. {=========================================================================} INTEGRAL.FUNCTIONS.011 dd/mm/yy = 15/06/96 {end}