$$
     s$ $$
        $$           impulse lameality press no. 001 - at war with iR.
 [-- $$ $$     -- ------------------------------------------------------ --]
     $$ $$                  "SCREW THAT! Angstmonster forever!"
     $$ $$                           written by gir
     $$ $$                          released 04/10/03
 [-- $$ $$ ------ ------------------------------------------------------ --]


Some of you might be thinking and then again some of you my be braindead.  
Either way, what's angstmonster doing starting a war with Impulse Reality?  
Why do we gotta playa hate like that?  Well if anyone is playa hatin', it's 
certainly not the thuggish brutes and original hamsters of the angstmonster 
crew.  IT IS IN FACT LINEAR HIMSELF! DON'T BELIEVE ME?  TRY THESE 0DAY INSTANT
MESSANGER LOGS ON FOR SIZE!

	its linear: yo, i haven't finished reading all of 24, but i have read 
	enough to let you know that in the next iR batch release (coming soon),
	we shall be declaring war on you.

        i am not gir: on what grounds?

	its linear: On the grounds that you attempt to call for peace within 
	the textfile scene. We see peace as a direct threat to the iR /anada 
	war. And as we feel we have neutralized _anada_ for the time being, it 
	is within our scope to venture elsewhere for war and ascii bloodshed!

        i am not gir: man fuck that
	
	i am not gir: make ascii not war
       
        its linear: lines such as "IT'S NEVER TOO LATE PEOPLE!  HOW MANY MORE 
	LIVES ARE WE GOING TO LOSE TO TEXTFILE RIVALRY!?! "  and  "IT STOPS 
	HERE!  JOIN WITH ME IN A BAN ON VIOLENCE IN TEXTFILES AND TOGETHER WE 
	MIGHT FORGE A MIGHTY PEACEFUL WORLD WHERE LOVERS OF THE ASCII YOUNG 
	AND OLD MAY GET DOWN IN ALL SORTS OF FUNKY WAYS..." have greatly 
	offended us iRians!

Presented to us in the preceeding conversation is a very violent and confused
linear.  Our sources show that linear has long since stopped taking his 
medication and is now considered a very dangerous individual!  DO NOT TRY TO
FEED HIM WHATEVER YOU DO!

That said, let's talk about this "war" which will change the entire face of the
current textscene.

Rather than devote all of its resources to the effort, angstmonster has formed
impulse lameality which will draw on the resources of angstmonster, Cheese 'N 
Crackers, TURD, and anyone else who may wish to join us in keeping peace among
the Textfile Community.


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           the clever thing to do here would be to take it like a man.  
                             (in the poop shoot, that is)
                         http://www.angstmonster.org/txt/il
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