[number1] $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$$$&s. $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$^$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$.$$$' $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$.$$$' $$$$$$&s. $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$$$&s. $$$$^$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$^$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$.$$$$ $$$$.$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ `$$$$$$$' `$$$$$$$' $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$' @¬!kLUNK pREZZ pRESENTZ!¬@ `$$$ $$' `$$ $' `$ ` ' -----( welcome to kLUNK number 1 (belial) Welcome to kLUNK number one... This is our premier issue so I hope to have some responce from you... Tell me what you think, any comments or questions, contact me on my board Avalon .908.739.4274. Instead of going all out and having someone code a emag and having to deal with it looking good enough and have enough cool effects, I decided to have kLUNK be just one text file with all the articles and info in it... I hope you enjoy the work that we have done with it and all help would greatly be appreciated... If you would like to contribute to future kLUNK issues, please contact me on my board Avalon... -----( members and sites editor - belial (blade.emerge.cripple) - kLUNK world headquarterz - Avalon .908.739.4274. -----( kLUNK would like to greet edicius, terminal velocity, greyhawk, mindcrime, lucifer, and malloch... -----( Article 1 ) "Our Right to Porn" by, belial How many times have you heard people protesting porn? A lot, right? They tell you things like "Its bad for the children" and blah and blah. Then they want to totally eliminate porn from television and magazines and everywhere else it is. This in my opinion is wrong. I know it is bad for young children to see and hear, but why must it be totally gone for everyone? Isn't it our right to see porn if we wish, why should the government have the power to take porn away from everyone. I am no porno star, and I don't have every issue of Playboy ever made, but I still don't see where the government and all these anti-porn people get the right to take it away from us. Now, I can see if they did things to keep it away from children, but not keep it away from everyone. Maybe individual parents should have porn taken off *their* tv, if they have kids that they don't want seeing the porn, not take it off EVERYONE'S tv. Who said porn is bad in the first place, maybe some people like it, and get turned on by it? Should they then have to go totally out of their way and spend all kinds of money just to get it? Why shouldn't they be able to get it just as easily as someone else gets their Barney or Power Rangers? That is what confuses me, we are supposed to have equal rights, except people who enjoy porn, they have to go way out of their way to get it. I don't know why I wrote this, I guess I just think that porn should be easier to attain for people who want it. I am not saying give it to all the children and stuff, just don't eliminate it from the earth, and make people suffer and have to pay gross amounts of money to get it... bl(blade.emerge.cripple) -----( Article 2 ) "Rage Against the Scene, Sorta?" by, belial Whadup... Don't forget to email the president about the Clean Water Bill, unless of course, if you like going to the beach to swim in shit infested water, but I guess that is a personal choice... Me, I am emailing the president, don't let him or anyone else stop us from having clean water. Oh, yea, this article is called, "Rage against the Scene, sorta?", well it is, sorta... I am not here to say like, "Fuck the scene, you all suck, you power-hungry ambitious bastards." True as it may be ... I just want to vent my rage on a few things, they don't really have to do with the scene itself but close enough... oh, one other thing, I am not going to rage out against eerie either! Did ya ever logon to a board, I won't put any names... I'm sure the people I am talking about know who they are... =) Anyway, did you ever try to apply to a board, its looking pretty k-rad right, some spiffy ansi, a bunch of 3r331 shit everywhere, a lit by edicius... and your filling out your 5th or 6th infoform, you know the ones that all ask the same questions... Then you get to the acronym part of the application... What the hell purpose does this serve? Who the hell carez if someone doesn't know what something like, aljgakjroi, stands for? That is the most useless most redundant thing in the world... The funny part is, that a lot of sysops will not let you on their board because of this, like not knowing them makes you the biggest lamer on earth... I think its retarded, using acronyms as something to judge people by... Judge them by what they have to offer you and your board , not if they know what that shit means... Like anyone sits around and studies the meanings of these things... The only ko0l acronym is 'mop' cuz like, it has no meaning, and it changes everymonth... that is cool... Another thing that pisses me off a little is the mass number of little groups that are made everyday... Here is the short life of someone, we will name him (or it can be a her, to be p.c.), Heywood!... act 1, scene 1 ::: Heywood applies to alderaan... DENIED! once, twice, then mindcrime has pitty on the poor fool and lets him onto his most excellent board... (hehe) ::: Cool Heywood is flabberghasted by what he sees... ::: Heywood logs off of alderaan for the 30th time that day... ::: Heywood loads up TheDraw and starts drawing some fonts... "hm, these are good, I guess, think i will apply for blade now." ::: Heywood applies to Blade... ::: Mindcrime says "Sorry you work is not good enough for blade." ::: Heywood then writes a fucking terrible lit, (not unlike this one =) venting his rage out against everyone, calling mc a asshole and blah blah blah, the scene sux, I hate you all... ::: Then Heywood has a idea, "You know what, fuck this, I am ansi god, I shall make up my own group!" ::: Heywood's group, (some bloody name) Bloody Death is formed, with Heywood as the president/founder/senior/ansi coor./blah. Then Heywood goes out to his local elite warez hangout and gets some of his dork friends to join his group. ::: Heywood whips together the first Bloody Death pak, with a 100 thousand shitty logos by him and his all warez friends, we see corny ass thedraw fonts being used and its all terrible, no one gets the pak and within the hour of the first pak going out Bloody Death dies... Heywood leaves the scene totally and the dorks go back to thier warez that they love so much... ::: The point and moral is ::: Don't go and make a new group if you don't get accepted into one of the bigger groups, don't get pissed off at the earth and kill yourself over a ansi group. If you didn't get accepted into a art group it is because you were not good enough, that means you should try harder, practice more, get better at what you got denied for and when you are better, you try again. Its retarded to go and make a new group that sux the shit on my foot, just because you didn't get accepted into another, this is what is tearing the scene apart, there are toooooo many little shit groups... Draw for fun, its not like your getting paid some hardcore money... Your not getting a full salary for your work... Try to do your best, lose the "i'm a god of ansi" attitude and have a blast doing what you like to do, and if you don't like to draw ansi, why the fuck do you draw it then... Well that is all for now, there are a lot of more little things that piss me off but I won't get into them now... =) I think overall the scene is an excellent thing and I am glad to be a part of it... - Strive for perfection because adequate will only bring you loss! - bl(blade.emerge.cripple) -----( Goodbye! (belial) Well, I hope that you enjoyed the first issue of kLUNK... If you would be interested in becoming a kLUNK distro site contact me at Avalon. Thanx and stay toOned for future issues of kLUNK... bl(blade.emerge.cripple) [end]