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                  l   o  n  g  d  a  r  k  t  u  n  n  e  l
                                productions


#050 - [ Falling in Love Without Being in Love ]
       [ netspread ]


Sometimes when a relationship is fresh and new, it feels like love.  And it
can go on to feel like love for a long time.  After awhile once everything
becomes habitual and secure and you seem to enjoy the feeling of security and
safety more than you do being aroud the person, is that still love?  Or is it
setteling?  I mean how many married couples do you see that appear to be
content as opposed to in love.  Rather how many do you see that are in
discontent than in love.  Would it be better to be alone with no one, content
with someone, discontent with someone, or hold out your whole life waiting for
that "real love"?

Im not saying that you can't be content and be inlove.  But I believe there
is a fine line between the two that we walk.  

Myself for instance.  When I first met the girl I am with now, I was totally
enthralled in her and her existance.  I did anything and everything in my
power to impress her and make her happy.  Now time has taken its toll.  By far
she is the best female I have ever met.  Despite her lack of self thoughts.
She would do anything and everything in her power for me.  I could go to jail
for years and get out knowing she was faithfull and true to me.  I do care for
her and love her alot.  But her intellect doesnt stimulate me.

Im just giving my example of a situation.  You could have a female the
completly, mentally, stimulated you.  While being a total cunt.  In my
situation my girl is the nicest, sweetest, most kind hearted person I know.
I choose to get my mental stimulation else where.  

I have the fullest intention of marrying my girl (chanel) and spending the
rest of my life with her.  I KNOW THAT I WILL NEVER FIND ANOTHER FEMALE as
competent as her.  She can deal with anything I throw her way.  Whether it be
my infidelity, enebriation on drugs, drunken rants, etc.  She with all her
heart loves me.  And I have never had that before.  Some of my mates say I am
setteling and that I deserve a girl with more of her own thoughts and
opinions.  But, why should I loose the best thing that has ever happend to me
on the gamble that I may one day find something better.

I dont believe that for the average person there is "true love".  There never
has been, there probably never will be.  I cant imagine living my life without
someone by my side.

Is it natural to live your life thinking the grass greener on the other side.
Or settle for something that meets up to any standards you could ever set for
yourself without being arrogantly fickle?  There is no such thing as
perfection.  You can reach for it your whole life.  Dont fuck up something
good hopeing for something better............My girl is everything that I am
not.  All the qualities I lack she makes up for.  Its a perfect blend of good
and evil, right and wrong.  And vice versa for me.  Everything she lacks, I
possess.  I dont feel that a person could deal with a clone of themselves.
To me it realy is being in love.  I could not function without her.  I couldnt
imagine my days without her.  I need her opposite end of the spectrum opinion
to help myself make better choices.  I would be a worthless being without her.

netspread/RJ
netspread@linuxgods.com arehay@aol.com

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