Low Self Esteem Issue 5
                       The Geek: An Endangered Spicies
                            Written By Aphex Twin
                                May 02nd, 1996

                               [*] LSE NEWS [*]

  First Of All,  I'd Like To Say That You  Can Find Issues Of Low Self Esteem
On   The  Following  FTP  Site:  FTP://FTP.EText.Org/pub/Zines/LowSelfEsteem,
Thanks  To  The Operators  Of The  EText  Archives  For  Giving  This  T-File
Collection A Home.   You May Also Request  An Issue By Writing EMail To Me At
The  Following  Address:  PARKER_LEWIS@HOTMAIL.COM,  You  May  Send  Me  Mail
Concerning Comments,  Flames,  Or If You Want To Write Something For Low Self
Esteem.

  This Is Just A Silly Article That I've Decided To Write.  I'll Be Talking
About The Decrease Of Geeks In Society And How Maybe Some Day There May Be No
More Geeks, And Society Will Be Run By Jocks (Oh No!!).  This Is Just A Fun
Article, So Don't Take It Seriously...

  I Based This Article On Charles Darwin's Theory Of Unnatural Selection, I'll
Start Off By Explaining Darwin's Theory.  Let's Take The Giraffe As An
Example, Thousands Of Years Ago There Was A Large Number Of Short Necked
Giraffes And A Small Number Of Long Necked Giraffes (Freaks), It's Known
That A Baby Always Resembles It's Parents, And Inheirates The Parent's
Attributes, So If The Parent Giraffes Have Long Necks, The Babies Are Bound To
Also Have Long Necks, This Is Called 'Heiredity'.  The Short Necked
Giraffes Only Had Access To Plants That Were In Their Ability Of Reach, And
When There Was No More Plants In Their Level Of Reach They Would Die Of
Starvation, While On The Other Hand, The Long Necked Giraffes Had A Larger
Level Of Reach Due To Their Long Necks, And So They Could Access Plants That
Were Located In Higher Places Where The Short Necked Giraffes Couldn't Reach,
And Because Of This, The Long Necked Giraffes Would Survive Longer Then The
Short Necked Giraffes.  Over Time, The Long Necked Giraffes Multiplied Until
Their Number Surpassed The Short Necked Giraffes, And Eventually The Short
Necked Giraffe Disappeared From The Face Of The Planet.

  OK, I Think That By Reading The Above Paragraph You Get A Pretty Good Idea
Of How We Can Adopt This Theory To The Average Nerd.  As We Know The Nerd
Isn't Really Lucky With Members Of The Opposite Sex, And So Without A Mate
There Can Be Be No Production Of A Baby.  If A Baby Was Born It Would
InHeirate The Parent's Attributes, Including Their Geekness.  This Factor Of
Diclining Reproduction Of Nerd Babies Is Just One Factor.  Another Factor Is
Survival.  Your Average Nerd Isn't No John Rambo, He'll Get Beaten Up Preaty
Easely, And It Doesn't Take Much Effort To Kill A Nerd.  The Last Factor Is
That The Nerd Will Sometimes Take His Own Life Away, The Nerd Can't Deal With
Society So He Chooses To Commit Suicide.

  And So More And More Nerds Are Disapearing And Less Nerds Are Being Born,
And So At This Rate The Nerds Might Be Extinct.  Although All Is Not Lost,
Nerds Have Superior Intelligences To The Jocks, But Will This Be Enough To
Keep The Nerds From Disappearing From The Earth In The Future?  I Guess Only
Time Will Tell.

                                                     -- Aphex Twin