MLiR iSSue 2 A New Way Of Looking At Life -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- [-= CoNTeNTS =-] #1 - Editorial uS #2 - A Kid Called Jonas DaN aBNoRMaL #3 - Tips For Break-Ins BaroN #4 - Racism BaroN #5 - #10-19 Year Olds DaN aBNoRMaL #6 - who wants op?????? DaN aBNoRMaL #7 - Stupid People DaN aBNoRMaL #8 - SnOoP DaN aBNoRMaL #9 - Funny Stuff DaN aBNoRMaL #10 - More Things To Do When You Are Bored BaroN -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- [-= Editorial =-] Welcome, This is now the second editon of MLiR, we got a fairly good reaction from people about the first issue, most people seemed to like the article about the pissing on the school floors.... I guess that says something about all you sick bastards :) Most of the articles in this issue are from some funny things that have happened on irc lately, we'll prolly have them as a regular feature from now on... -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- [-=-] A Kid Called Jonas [-=-] DATE: around 1988 LOCATION: somewhere in australia Its late at night and jonas is as usual, playing on his commodore 64 with his friend, Mark. "Hey Mark, i got a new game!!" says jonas enthusiatiscally. "Cool!" says mark in return. 30 minutes later, the game has loaded... "wow what does that mean?" says mark while pointing at the words "0 d4j w4r32!!", "oh that means something in russian" says jonas not really knowing what the weird assortment of numbers and letters mean. Little does he know that this become a very common language to him in the next 10 years... * * * * * * * Its now 1990 and Jonas is in year 6, he's a big man, but not as big as he will be in 1996! Jonas has grown up a bit now, and is slowly becoming to find out what his true destiny in life is... "Jonas, Jonas is a big big loner!" shouts the girls at the now very pissed off Jonas . Jonas gets angry and runs off to the toilets, as soon as he gets in the door he rips his pants down to the ground and starts to jump around blindly as he screams at the top of his head "3y3 4m 31337 $0 p|-|33r m3!!!" as soon as the cry is heard a teacher runs into the boys toilet and smacks Jonas on the bottom making him shut up his rantings... Meanwhile at an undisclosed place somewhere under the nevada desert.... "Sir, we have picked up 313370 messages" says a yound soldier to his superior "So the legends are true!!" says the superior officer in amazement, "Send the copters for the boy" he says quickly as he reaches for the weird looking gun in his holster with a BIG smile on his face... * * * * * * * 2 days later when Jonas is walking home from school... "Stop! put your hands up and don't move!" says 3 heavily armed US army soldiers. Jonas, not knowing what to do drops his dacks and starts screaming those same words as before "3y3 4m 31337 $0 p|-|33r m3!". Suddenly a voice on one of the soldier's radios screams "Get out of there now!, he's gonna kill you!!", "He can't kill us sir, he's only a little kid", ten seconds later the 3 officers are lying on the ground with weird radiation burns all over them.. * * * * * * * It is now 1996, and Jonas is still with us and is walking the streets with a slight limp in his leg..., Jonas walks into the doctors and says "doc, whats wrong with my leg?" pulling up his pants to reveal markings of some sort... "Oh my god!!" says the doctor!, "you are elite!" he says in amazement at the markings. "And you my friend, are a lamer!" replies Jonas as he strangles the doctor to death... To Be Continued... By DaN aBNoRMaL -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- [-=-] Tips For Break-Ins [-=-] well i've made it through another day of pointless and boring school. yay the only problem being it is only monday . A proffesional DJ came to the school now that was exciting. I'm not sure how many people actually listened though. Playing shitty coolio songs and assorted crap. Well that was my lunch time anyway. Got another test back yet another fail 38% for a maths test, hey thats almost the higgest this year. Not to worry though cause i got a five day weekend comming up to study for exams. Think i'll just smoke some cones instead. boo hoo goo yep more pointless crap Hmm what other things can i suggest to you readers out there ummmm how bout lying under the o bahn tracks when the busses are running. Thats pretty dull tho suppose its ok the first time. Graffiti nah thats boring and not worth getting in trouble over. Getting caught there's an issue in itself. DON'T GET CAUGHT duh really you say. Here are some handy hints to avoid being caught doing anything bad. 1. Make sure it is late at night or really early in the morning when everyone else is in bed. 2. Don't be too eager this can fuck you up. 3. Trust your gut, if you have a bad feeling then don't do it till it has passed. If it doesn't then don't do it. Gut feelings can be life savers. 4. Try to stay in small groups 2, 3, 4 not many more. Too many people fuck things up. 5. Make sure you go out with co-ordinated people. Unco's are not only useless but annoying. 6. If you drive park the car away from the scene if it going to take a while. 7. Paranoia isn't a bad thing it keeps you on your toes. You get to lazy you get caught. DaN thought he would add some.... 8. If ya gonna do a break in then, only stay in there for like, umm 5-10 mins as cops usually take about 15 mins (usually) anyway you just dont want cops to catch u inside the house/builiding whatever now do you? 9. If the cops do come and they start running after you then start running like you've never run before :) I can't run fast i hear you say? don't worry, you soon will when you see a cop running after you or a car, i know this from experience so trust me :) There probably are others but i'll leave em to you to figger out. BaroN -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- [-=-] Racism [-=-] BaroN again, geez think we need some memberz eh? Yeah prolly, hmmmmmm yep yup yup guyguguggu woop woop poop. I think i have finally lost the plot. Enough fucking databases geezzzzz racism assembly BAH boo hiss spit. This issue seems intersting................got somewhere to go? well why the fuck arn't u there? Hmm a racism assembly? interesting concept. By having an assembly we will elimainate racism(maybe not). Maybe i'm not the crazy one. Probably has something to do with the way the school treats the gooks. GOOKS=ASIANS for those ill informed of u!!!!!!!!!! neway Today me and DaN where chatting away during class as we usually do trying our best to speed time up and we began talking about gays on IRC. Now Me and DaN don't mind to cause a bit of an upset and abuse these poofs. It seems that they can't handle the abuse and are trying to get DaN kicked off the server which we are located on. Why do these IRC cops pity these fags? Are they also Fags? Or do they phear the fags, thiNking thaT if they do not help them they will be rammed up the arse. Sure we abuse them but if they abuse us (or nebody does) we do not run to the IRC cops. We sort it out ourselves. Well i'll let DaN tackle that one some other day. i'm out of ideas already. Almost time to go on IRC. Arrghgghhhhh the modem will be stolen back by its real owner soon. BOO HISS ...... well i'm off to do some Homework harhahrahrhahrrha very funny BaroN -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- [-=-] #10-19 Year Olds [-=-] > hi? <|Stoni|> hmm where are my ops? > i think they are playing us <|Stoni|> me too i aint going down like that <|Stoni|> sad *** |Stoni| (e1878344@watt.lab.eese.bee.qut.edu.au) has left #10-19 > werd > * -------------- SLaP Me SuMMa DaT PLuS oH! ------------------- > * <<<< +o+o+o+o+o+ o+o+o+o+o+o+ o+o+o+o+o+o > * <<<< o+o o+o +o+ o+o +o+ > * <<<< +o+ +o+ o+o +o+ o+o > * <<<<================= o+o o+o +o+ o+o +o+o+o+o+o+ > * <<<<================= +o+ +o+ o+o+o+o+o+o+ o+o+o+o+o+o > * <<<< o+o o+o +o+ +o+ > * <<<< +o+ +o+ o+o o+o > * <<<< o+o+o+o+o+o +o+ +o+o+o+o+o+ > * -------------- SLaP Me SuMMa DaT PLuS oH! ------------------- gimme ops *** {stash} (stash@ppp46.ldn2.execulink.com) has joined #10-19 *** {stash} (stash@ppp46.ldn2.execulink.com) has left #10-19 > come on > im only 12 years old > ive never had ops b4 i'm 4 *** You were kicked by hound2222 (hound2222) *** Attempting to rejoin... *** Rejoined channel #10-19 Or BAned what am i waitin for? hound2222 Ok people should be coming soon Yes . Ok * Added hound2222 (*!*POOH@*.iaccess.com.au) to user list -> -hound2222- HaRHaRHaR - You aRe oN THe MLiR '96 SHiTeLiST u lied to me i've been betrayed I went to a couple other channels and told people to come here * BaRoN goes and crys in the corner * [DaN] consoles him You are going to be one. ok thank you very much in advance * BaRoN gives DaN a kiss where the hell are they??? *** hound2222 sets mode: +b [DaN]!*inkog@pppE5.gist.com.au * [DaN] spits Session Close: Fri Jul 12 12:41:15 1996 The above is just the example of what can happen on those crappy boring teen channels, this one was for 10-19 year olds... the topic was "first 4 people in get ops" so me and baron thought we'd get ops and takeover cos we were bored, but instead i got kicked and banned for flooding the op :) DaN aBNoRMaL -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- [-=-] who wants op?????? [-=-] Ah those great words "who wants ops" anyone smart enough can see this as an opportunity to have some fun... who wants op?????? *** AXL (~hisco@203.14.173.33) has left #basketball hiya axl > ill have ops me have any of u spoken to jordan 23 today? ill give it to dan cos i see him in here often nope *** Domino sets mode: +o DaN *** DFB sets mode: -o DaN thats okay i understand heheheheeheh Domino why did you do that man? can some one leave and come bak so i can test sumthin??? y not?? *** DFB sets mode: +ooo angel DaN JO-MEG y did ya do that?? thanks No prob everyone! > MLiR '96 Mass Takeover Completed! MLiR '96 can some one leave and come bak pls!!! *** DaN sets mode: -oooo angel DFB Domino JO-MEG -Z- ### MASSDEOP PROTECTION ACTIVATED ### *** You were kicked by Z (### MASSDEOP PROTECTION ###) *** Attempting to rejoin... *** Rejoined channel #basketball hehe it was funny for a while, if u cant understand what happened, well they gave me ops and i de-opped everyone except Z - the servers bot woops so he kicked me and banned me i think :) DaN aBNoRMaL -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- [-=-] Stupid People [-=-] The following log gives an example of how STUPID some people can really be... * DFB slaps angel around a bit with a large trout can some one leave and come bak pls!!! PLS!!!!! ok here we see that DFB slaps angel... *** angel (mpl@grunge109.nv.iinet.net.au) has left #basketball *** DFB (~asaf@pppC22.nectar.com.au) has left #basketball *** Domino (~howe@jazz73.nv.iinet.net.au) has left #basketball *** angel (mpl@grunge109.nv.iinet.net.au) has joined #basketball hey dan u slapped me!!!!!! yet here she thinks i did, but theres more... *** Domino (~howe@jazz73.nv.iinet.net.au) has joined #basketball > no i didnt u lamer *** Domino (~howe@jazz73.nv.iinet.net.au) has left #basketball hey, where r u from? > that was DFB u idiot here i try to explain to her that it wasn't me, but no, she wont listen... dan it said, dan slaps angel around with a large trout what??!??!?!, this one is REALLY stupid, yeesh some people..., but theres more! > * DFB slaps angel around a bit with a large trout jordan got to go but i will speak to u soon i will miss u babes > gee did i slap you did i? > yeeesh > STUPID angel: i wont be on later....gotta study! dan why me!!!! well next week maybe > STUPID > STUPID > STUPID > STUPID > STUPID *** You were kicked by Jordan_23 (Jordan_23 boots dan outa da channel) *** Attempting to rejoin... *** Rejoined channel #basketball i try once again to explain but nope, good ol dumbo angel refuses to accept dan why do u slap me > i didnt fucken slap you > bloody hell bye guys, luv u jordan * DaN slaps angel round with Ms Habel's loose ass > now i slapped u > yeesh now i finally slap her hopefully that will shut her up.. DaN aBNoRMaL -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- [-=-] SnOoP [-=-] And now for a funny character called SnOoP, apparently he's a black, 14 year old, who can't spell very well and thinks i'm a "natzi". This guy has problems... *** SnOoP2 (~aha@slsyd10p31.ozemail.com.au) has joined #basketball > gday snoop > yo G do you play Growly ? > hey ya dumb nigger kik dan off someone kik off this fool DAN IS A NATZI MOTHA FUCKER! DAN IS A NATZI MOTHA FUCKER! DAN IS A NATZI MOTHA FUCKER! DAN IS A NATZI MOTHA FUCKER! hold on! > how about those shit Heat > how about those shit Heat > how about those shit Heat > how about those shit Heat > how about those shit Heat > how about those shit Heat > how about those shit Heat > hey ya dumb nigger > hey ya dumb nigger > hey ya dumb nigger > zo sux > zo sux > zo sux > zo sux > zo sux Thats just the usual treatment that SnOoP gets from me if I ever see him :) Session Start: Fri Jun 14 18:07:29 1996 *** Now talking in #basketball ohh Yep man1 Hey DAN! *** SnOoP sets mode: +b *!*@pppE7.gist.net.au > hey *** Retrieving #basketball channel info... *** You were kicked by SnOoP (SnOoP) *** Attempting to rejoin... Session Close: Fri Jun 14 18:08:03 1996 ...And if I don't get a chance to say anything then the above is what usually happens :) He also like to threaten me now and again... dan: i swear! YOU DO KNOW THAT IF I SAW YA I WOULD BASH YOUR HEAD IN WITH A BRICK AND THEN CUT YOUR COCK OFF AND THEN KILL YOU SLOWLY! > hahahahhahahahhahahha > u r 14 yrs old > u couldnt beat up a dog > eg a chihwuaha dan: YEAH BUT I KNOW PEOPLE WHO COULD BEAT THE AUSTRALIAN ARMY! beat the australian army??!! heheehheheh dan: YOU ARE NOTHING! YOU GET IT? NOTHING! what a load of shit DAN: NOTHING! YOU ARE LOW LIFE NATZI! > yeah sure beat the Australian Army....hehehhehe spree_15: eva heard of the DFB??? > i know ppl who could destroy the world Australian Army will kick those rappers > harharhahrarhhar yeah Yeh well they are gonna come after you real bad Dan so be warned the french president > i have an ATOMIC BOMB!!!!! > dont mess with me!! Well i do... Session Start: Sat Jun 22 13:59:21 1996 *** Now talking in #basketball -Z- *** Sorry. You are on my banlist *** *** Z sets mode: +b *!*@*.gist.net.au *** You were kicked by Z (Z) *** Attempting to rejoin... Session Close: Sat Jun 22 13:59:27 1996 And at one stage Z was sitting there banning me :) DaN aBNoRMaL -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- [-=- Funny Stuff -=-] There's always some funny stuff that happens on irc, heres on example of when BaroN went into #dizzy before me and started paying out ppl, then later on I came in with the following... > anyone seen baron? yes... yup * marvy kicked him :) :) > you dickhead > hes an irc cop * Red did more then see him and..... :) * marvy doesn't care he was being a disk > u will when u r k-lined dick even :) > owell cya later :) Just a simple little joke, but there's more. You ca always just do the normal make fun of what the channel is about... *** Now talking in #kungfu *** old (~Hey@202.190.129.60) has joined #kungfu > where is danielson > mr miagi? dan hot *** DaN is now known as Mr_Miagi hi old what kinda kung fu u guys learn? nothing > i teach karate You can also be really mean and pretend to be a girl and have "netsex" with some poor sod and then after tell him that you are a guy... > hey sammy did i tell you i was a guy? WUSSSES > hahahhahahahhahahhhahahhahahahhhha > sucked in HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCK OFF FUNGIRL > hahahhahahahhahahhhahahhahahahhhha > hahahhahahahhahahhhahahhahahahhhha > hahahhahahahhahahhhahahhahahahhhha hahahahaha IN YO FACE SAMMY. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA > hahahhahahahhahahhhahahhahahahhhha > hahahhahahahhahahhhahahhahahahhhha NICE FUNGIRL HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCK OFF DEAN U STUPID KUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! METALBABE IS NOV9 HI *** You were kicked by Sammy (Sammy) hheheeeheehe I don't think he liked the idea of that because according to him he had wanked himself twice while i was talking to him. ewwwwwwwwww. Hmmm, what else is there?, oh yeah good 'ol fun on the #gothic channel... :) *** Now talking in #gothic someones at the door someones at the door someones at the door someones at the door someones at the door someones at the door someones at the door > someones at the door? > someones at the door? > someones at the door? > someones at the door? > someones at the door? someones at the door someones at the door someones at the door > someones at the door? someones at the door someones at the door someones at the door someones at the door someones at the door > someones at the door? > someones at the door? > someones at the door? someones at the door > someones at the door? > someones at the door? > someones at the door? > someones at the door? > someones at the door? > someones at the door? > someones at the door? someones at the door someones at the door someones at the door someones at the door someones at the door > kaleb someones at the door someones at the door > sherrif buck someones at the door someones at the door someones at the door someones at the door someones at the door BaroN & DaN fuck each other someones at the door someone is at the door!!! someone is at the door!!! > kaleb > kaleb > kaleb > kaleb > kaleb > kaleb > kaleb someone is at the door!!! someone is at the door!!! BaroN & DaN fuck each other someone is at the door!!! BaroN & DaN fuck each other *** buzz (~ganey@a13.peninsula.starway.net.au) has joined #Gothic > who are they? *** buzz (~ganey@a13.peninsula.starway.net.au) has left #Gothic all the time wanna join in?? someone is at the door!!! someone is at the door!!! someone is at the door!!! someone is at the door!!! someone is at the door!!! > someones at the door? > someones at the door? someone is at the door!!! someone is at the door!!! someone is at the door!!! > someones at the door? > someones at the door? > someones at the door? > someones at the door? > someones at the door? someone is at the door!!! someone is at the door!!! someone is at the door!!! *** Pokey (~gumby101@205.243.76.220) has joined #Gothic someone is at the door!!! no ones at the door > someones at the door? > someones at the door? > someones at the door? > someones at the door? > someones at the door? someone is at the door!!! > someones at the door? > someones at the door? > someones at the door? Thats just some pure annoyance for them, and they couldn't kick us cos no one had ops on there. DaN aBNoRMaL -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- [-=- More Things To Do When You Are Bored -=-] Ok if this article goes no where then don't blame cause i'm not sure what i am writing about. This is for the second edition of MLiR and not much has changed. I'm still broke and i can't afford a new modem . I'm sure you all know how a stupid idea can become something to do when all is boring and time is at a stand still. These things are not always beneficial to your health but why worry about things such as that. So here are some stupid things for you to do when u are bored. 1. Chat up the girls in the drive through fast food services 2. Find a police radar hide behind some bushes and see who is first to hit or knock it over with some rocks. 3. Put on a cyclists jacket and stand next to a motorbike with a hairdryer possing as a policeman with a radar gun. 4. Get a C.B radio and arange to meet people who u later beat up for money or drugs, cigarettes etc. (not advised) 5. Take a crap on someones front porch who u don't like or bring some pre packaged cak with you (eewwwww) 6. Ring up a really cag bbs and write abusive messages to all of the regular users or sysop. 7. Ring up an asian embassy and ask if u can talk to a gook. 8. See how many times you can appear in your local newspaper for funny reasons. 9. Ring your school with a bomb threat. 10. ummmm think of your own Well this is pretty crappy eh? o well what do u expect its late .... i wonder if DaN has written ne articles yet? Till next time cya BaroN -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Stay tuned for the next issue of MLiR, where we reveal the true meaning of the word "lamer" and trace its origins back to old hackers in the seventies. We also have a funny chat log with someone who had just seen "hackers" and wanted to be a hacker... also, more things to do on buses perhaps or maybe even things to do to annoy those pesky transit police... [DaN]