=============================================================================== =============================================================================== /-----+ /--|---+ +----+------\!JEz ...xX | |/ | | +---|. | \ | .. . . ..xX | . . | | | | | |___/ x.. .. .. . ...xX | \ : | | | |. | . | Xx: ... . .. .xX | | | | |/ |:. | | Xx.. .. . .. .xX |____|__/\___|_____/---|___/\___/ Xx.. .. . .. . % modern life is rubbish % This zine contains the following: Flatulance Adult Themes Tossing Nerds (and plenty of them) Ecstasy Rape Drug Usage Sexual References =============================================================================== =============================================================================== contents of mlir issue seven 01 - editorial ............................ dan abnormal 02 - the mlir designer drug: the passout .. dan abnormal & julez 03 - the mlir hinker ...................... dan abnormal 04 - irc snippets ......................... dan abnormal 05 - the mlir guide to eating pussy ....... baron 06 - the mlir ball in a jar[TM] ........... baron 07 - capture file #1 ...................... baron 08 - the trip ............................. baron 09 - funny stuff .......................... baron 10 - wanna be like us? .................... baron 11 - the eyebrows reveal all .............. baron =============================================================================== =============================================================================== editorial [dan abnormal] Coven 96. Well its been and gone fairly quickly and erm yer wot else can I say? I went for a while with cryptic. We watched phorte work his magic in fast tracker two and watched other people do stuff. Hmm, I didn't think that it was too exciting, infact I thought it was rather boring. Then again that's my opinion. While on the other hand griffin said he had a great time when he was there see? just depends on what you doing there and whether you like interacting with people like that. Oh well, if you think that Coven 96 was good and I'm wrong, then write to me and we'll include it in mlir. No matter what it says we'll include it just for fun. Now that's over, time for the stuff that matters. This issue we have some rather amusing capture files courtesy of baron. While myself has got net access back for a while so I can bring you some more irc logs. There's also some other interesting stuff which I don't know about yet because I'm writing this while the zine is only half finished :) Oh yeah, late breaking news - the mlir web site is up!! yes! we have a web page up now and you can download all the releases plus go to a few other links that we have chosen. It's under pretty heavy construction at the moment so it will be updated and improved constantly over the next month. And the address is Http://www.gist.net.au/~inkog/mlir/ or if that doesn't work then go to http://www.gist.net.au/~inkog and then click on the mlir part of my home page :) That's cos sometimes it doesn't work erm don't ask me why but yer go there anyway. =============================================================================== =============================================================================== the mlir designer drug: the passout [dan abnormal & julez] ingredients ----------- 1 wholesome piece of dog shit 1 litre of pussy juice 5 pubic hairs a glass and a half of full cream milk 1 2L bottle of Castrol Oil 12 ml of cyanide 12 barbeque shapes 42 kegs of beer method ------ 1) mix ingredients together in the toilet 2) boil up for eight days 3) place on strips then sell for five cents a trip at raves effects of the passout ---------------------- The effects can range from mild hysteria to a full passout, rendering you unconscious for up to 45 days. So far, no one has died but we tried it on JuLeZ and all he can say now is "magnificently sensational". Hallucinations are common DaN reportedly sighting Elvis, Marilyn Monroe and Teddy from Murder One at the same time. BaRoN came for 49 days and 48 nights covering his whole family and friends. Cryptic constantly made trips to the bathroom and was on the can for three days straight. JEz keeps on insisting that he is "Lord Of The Diz". Raver... well lets just say we're not backing him up if he goes to court on 69 rape charges :) where to score -------------- Passout can be bought at any rave you go to, just ask for it and the dealer will know what you are talking about. Note: this is not the same drug that was found up in Queensland . =============================================================================== =============================================================================== the mlir hinker [dan abnormal] Today, while baron and I were looking at some fishing equipment we noticed that you could buy sinkers, and hooks, but not sinkers WITH hooks. So we have decided to make the mlir hinker. What it basically is, is a combination of the fishing hook and the fishing sinker. Sure the hook is a bit heavier, but ... it is now combined and you now no longer need to buy both. Just simply go to any place where fishing equipment is sold and ask for the mlir hinker. They'll know exactly what you mean and produce the hinker. Then just attach it to your line as normal and away you go! diagram of mlir hinker ---------------------- ° ÞÝß²Ý ÜÜܱÛÛÜÛÛÜÜÜ Ü ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ²²ÛÝ ÞÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÝ ÞÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ß ÜÛÛ²ÛÛÛÜÛÛ 4lb hinker Üß ÞÛÛ²±ÛÛ²ÛÜÝ ßÛÜ ÞÜÜÛ²ßÛÛÛÛÛÛßß ßßß ° =============================================================================== =============================================================================== irc snippets [dan abnormal] Hmm, well I've got net access for the month so here's a few snippets from various channels that I've been on. from #circumcision: do you ever try keeping your foreskin back from #security: *** Smokey (~ctb96001@s02p16.ppp.uconn.edu) has joined #security anyone here a female that would like to talk to me <[dan]> smokey: im a guy, but i used to be a girl im like a transvestite wanna chat? h0h0h0h0h0h0h0 dan dan got an addadictomy (say it out loud) wizard sighted on sex channel! /whois wizard wizard is ~wizard@dialup75.senet.com.au * wizard wizard on ###TEEN_XXX wizard using mpx.sydney.oz.org Microplex 02-438-1234 wizard has been idle 9 seconds, signed on Fri Oct 04 21:56:10 End of /WHOIS list. fun on #netsex: <[dan]> so anyone here wana shit in my mouth? hi sweetie * janelle giggles at coz...you're not a pussy licker??? lol Hawk...thank u very much... :) *** You were kicked by Z ((`) Z takes a crap in dans mouth but it seems that dan can't take this shit.) *** Attempting to rejoin... *** Rejoined channel #netsex dan i will shit on your face *** male is now known as hunk sir knight is just about to get another bout of the clap *** hunk is now known as cyberhunk hey superman leave dan alone... <[dan]> ok kewl that makes me orgasam and more fun in #zines: god, I'm pissed how come? cause steve blew me off how come? huh?!# how do you mean?!# <[dan]> i wouldn't be complaining if someone blew me "ha ha" i mean we were supposed to talk tonight and i got no phone call and now it's 3am in ohio blowjobs are the best yuky we *needed* to talk i like them better than sex yessir sick <[dan]> hahrhrharhharhrahrh man, you're such a girl i hope i am that was an INSULT!!!! i swallow personally grr! that's the only way to go, fawn yaayayayay i mean, these girls that spit .. that's just repulsive but theres more: once when i was really fucked up i had this one fat slob gargle!!!!! it was awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! eheh this one's funny: *** Now talking in #pirates im back <[dan]> pirates? who wants to see some tits? <[dan]> r r r d r r anyone got a parrot sitting on their shoulder? <[dan]> r <[dan]> r <[dan]> r Ill be on ICeNet *** Edward has quit IRC (Leaving) <[dan]> r <[dan]> r <[dan]> r <[dan]> r <[dan]> r <[dan]> r <[dan]> r has anyone seen has anyone seen |{0}{0}| ? <[dan]> anyone seen my peg leg? this while in #trax talking to wiggum : in this science tute these people were taking samples of the cells out of their mouths and looking at em under a microscope.. and theres this girl who had these cells that noone could identify.. <[dan]> ehheh oh no :) so they get the proffeseur over and he looks at em and says 'theyre sperm cells' :) <[dan]> hahhahahahhaaha how embarrasing would that be :) =============================================================================== =============================================================================== the great mlir guide to eating pussy [baron] Ok here are a few tips for all of you pussy eaters. This information is 100% authentic as i tried all of these methods on my neighbours cat. Girls love to feel tongue inside of them so go to the butchers and buy some cow tongue. Then while she is moaning slip it in to her ...she'll love it. Make sure you grind your face in her pussy, put your nose in there, your ears. Smother your face in there she'll be begging for more. You love to lick and suck her pussy but she has bad breath? ... that's easily fixed just giver her some P.K. Remember the further the tongue goes in the better so practice your tongue exercises. Here are a few which are guaranteed to work. When you drink do it out of a bowl that way you will get used to pushing your tongue out. This will strengthen it. Before you go to bed each night push your tongue into every direction of your mouth. Do this at least 20 times before you go to sleep. You'll be getting women in no time. Lick her up before you lick her down.. she'll be dripping before you have even really started. Another sure fire way of turning her on is to drool in her pussy. Let your saliva drip into her pussy she'll cum on the spot. Well there are a few tips for all off you wanna be pussy lickers ... =============================================================================== =============================================================================== the mlir ball in a jar [baron] You've all heard of the rubiks cube i'm sure well now MLiR Toys Inc p/l has come up with a new invention. From the mind of baron comes Ball in a Jar[TM] a great new idea and a toy which will keep the kiddies busy for hours and the hospital as well. Ok the concept is simple a new space age tennis ball from the labs of NASA has been placed into a jar. This jar has a small neck with a wider body. The objective - to get the ball out without smashing the jar. The problem the jar is glass :). Unfortunately we might have to resort to plastic jars due to legal issues. But don't worry the product and tennis ball will still remain the same. Where can i get this toy i hear you ask well Ball in a Jar[TM] can be purchased at all good retail shops for $15 and if ya tell them that baron sent you then you can get 15% which is a bargain $2.25 off the original price w0w what a bargain. An ansi by jez has been provided, this should give you an idea of what to look out for when shopping. =============================================================================== =============================================================================== capture file #1 [baron] The following is a capture from a public bbs. DaN and BaroN where both at baron's house and very bored so this is the result. Enjoy !!! Connected at 14400 bps. ANSI detected. Archival Retrievalist BBS Adelaide South Australia What is your first name? mike What is your last name? hunt Looking up "MIKE HUNT". Please wait... Your name "MIKE HUNT" was not found in the user data base. Is your name spelled correctly? [N]Y Please select a password? [ ******* ] Re-enter password to verify? [ ******* ] Where are you from ? (Suburb) ? [ adelaide ] Welcome to Archival Retrievalist BBS running WILDCAT! Version 3.90M. For our BBS records we would like to get some additional information. Please answer as correctly as possible to enable us to provide the best service and support possible. What is your COMPANY name? (leave blank if none) ? [ fish n shit ] Enter your correct No & Street Address (line 1 of 2) ? [ 31337 currie st ] Enter your correct Suburb ? (line 2 of 2) ? [ city ] What is your STATE? ? [ der ] What is your Postcode ? ? [ wtf ] Enter your correct Phone Number to be Verified on ie. (08) 8341-5156 ? [ 8xxx xxxx ] You entered xxxx xxxx, is this correct? [Y] - xxxx xxxx is really my home phone number. [N] - Let me go back and correct it now. Enter choice? [Y] Is the Phone Number you gave in the current Phone Book ? [Y] - This is correct [N] - It's not there Enter choice? [N] Why Not ? ? [ just got put in ... not listed yet ] What is your BBS or data line phone? ie: (08) XXXX-XXXX ? [ xxxxxxxx ] What is your date of birth? DD/MM/YY (for later verification) ? [01/01/01] Is 01/01/01 your correct date of birth? [Y] - 01/01/01 is my DOB. [N] - Let me correct it now. Enter choice? [ ]Y What kind of computer do you have? [1] - PC-XT [2] - PC-AT 286 [3] - PC-AT 386 [4] - PC-AT 486 [5] - PC-AT 586 [6] - Amstrad Enter choice or [R]elist? [1 ] What is your sex? [M]ale [F]emale [N]ot disclosed Enter sex type? [F] Thank u for answering the questionnaire, u will be upgraded as soon as u have been verifyed. Good afternoon, Mike, you are caller number 1,107. < The sysop decided it was time to check up on this new user> < i have put a + in front of the sysop's typing so u won't get confused err> °°°°°°°°°Kym Gotch°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°MIKE HUNT°°°°°°°°° + the number u have enrtered rings out want to try again ?? yeah cause that is my second line + what is the correct number to be verifyed on ?? xxxx xxxx - voice + that number is busy ?? yeah cause i'm on there but i usually use it 4 voice ..OK? + and the age it does not seem correct ?? 1976 - there u go + full d.o.b please 01/07/76 + then why place in 01/01/01/ ?? cause i'm sick of questionare's why is my age important? so u can discrimate against me? + on this system the age is important next u'll wanna know if i'm a nigger + not funny not supposed to be + I will check u voice on this ok its all yours --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Paging Sysop... 1 °°°°°°°°°Kym Gotch°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°MIKE HUNT°°°°°°°°° + yes oioi have u got a nudde files? + why cause i like to look at pussy all day long ....because i like xxx files + no I took them off because they are illegal? + yes bah ...wuss + thats life u got any warez? + have u looked for them they arn't normally listed on public bbs + then I have not got them ooooooo i'm gonna cry now + ok TTFN what does that stand for? + Tut Tar For Now TTFN ooo ok bye °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°