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.-;+$HX%;   . HM##@$;-.      Driving Like a Moron
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NOTE: DO NOT MODIFY THIS DOCUMENT IN ANY FORM
NOTE: PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THIS GUIDE SERIOUS, THIS GUIDE (OBVIOUSLY) WILL
      GET YOU IN DEEP TROUBLE WITH THE LAW! THIS IS SOLEY FOR 
      ENTERTAINMENT
=======================================================================

----------------------
-[General Moron Tips]-
----------------------

~ Drive 10-20 mph lower than the limit when traffic is behind you
~ Have children sit on your lap while driving
~ Remember, you always have the right of way.
~ Slow down for every bump (hey it could damage your car!)
~ Drive 2 MPH in residentual zones
~ Pretend you are talking on the cell phone if you have one
~ Express yourself by flipping every driver off
~ Have food and read a book while driving
~ At midnight Honk wildly through neighborhoods
~ Pick your nose while driving
~ Cut off a vehicle and give a "Thanks" Wave
~ When driving fast act like an airplane sticking your hands out the 
  window
~ Always drive on the rightside of the road
~ At night, use your brights to other cars even if they don't have their
  brights on.
~ 

-----------------
-[INTERSECTIONS]-
-----------------

~ On lefthand turns do it from the right lane
~ On righthand turns do it from the left lane
~ Pull out in front of someone on a right turn and slam on your breaks
~ Backup in the middle of a wrong turn
~ Make very slow turns

----------------------------------
-[WHAT TRAFFIC SIGNS REALLY MEAN]-
----------------------------------

STOP : Speed up and pull in front of cars
SLIPPERY SIGN : Drive fast
SLOW MOVING VEHICLE SIGN : Pull aside the vehicle and drive as fast
                           as the slow vehicle
4-WAY STOP : Everyone stops, but you aren't "everyone" so you can go.


-------------
-[ACCIDENTS]-
-------------

~ Act like you have a serious injury in a minor car accident
~ It is never your fault, it is the other driver's fault
~ Act like you can't speak english
~ Blame an animal 

-----------
-[PASSING]-
-----------

~ Drive into the car when passing
~ Get as close to bicyclists as possible