_____ _ |_ _| |__ ___ | | | '_ \ / _ \ | | | | | | __/ |_| |_| |_|\___| _____ _____ _____ | | __| _ | _____ | | | __| |_| | |_____| |__|__|_____|_____| ______ __________ / ____ \ _____ |____ ____| ____ _ | / \_|___ |\ /||__ __||\ | || | _ | \ |\ | | | | / \ | \_/ | | | | \ | || |/ _ \ | ~ / | \ | | | | _| O | | |\_/| | _| |_ | |\ \| || | __/ | |\ \ | |\ \| | | \____/ \___/ |_| |_||_____||_| \__||__|\___\ |_| \_\|_| \__| \______/ E-MAG -\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/- The Neo-Comintern Installment 24 We are The 5th International June 18th, 1998 Editor: The BoSS MC Assistant Editor: Komrade B Writers: BMC DJ Gnarly Wayne -\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/- ISSUE NUMERAL DEUX X DOUZE -\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/- Featured in this installment: 70 Digrees- BMC Adventures of Archie And Tha Gang- Gnarly Wayne -\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/- 70 DIGREES By BMC ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- What about the weather? People are always complaining about it. If it's winter, people say it's too cold. In summer it's too hot. If it were always 20 degrees from now till infinity, people would still find something to complain about, probably the fact that the temperature was too constant. So let's talk to the weather traffikers and buy some unreasonably hot weather. 70 degrees celsius sounds good. People would be dying, and the masses would have to convert auditoriums into huge refuge centers for people without air conditioning in their homes (homes which coincidentally would now be like prisons to people who could afford air conditioning). Power lines would sag until they touched the ground, perhaps even cutting off the power supply to the air conditioners. Then more people would die. Ice caps would begin to melt, thereby flooding the earth. People would be burning and drowning in the hot water. The only people not suffering would be high-ranking Communist officials, who would be away for business on other planets, recruiting Moon and Mars monsters. After about a month of this, let's return the earth back to normal. Wait a while, and we'll see how many people complain about a -5 degree day. The ones that do complain will be reminded that we can and will do it again. If they continue to complain, they will be sent to a special labour camp on the sun, where their diet will consist of yellow fire on weekdays, and perhaps some red fire on Sundays if they are well behaved. If they choose to misbehave while being held on the sun, there is little we can do, because there are not many things worse than being forced to live on the sun and eat yellow and red fire. -\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/- ADVENTURES OF ARCHIE AND THA GANG By Gnarly Wayne ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Roll Call: Archie: team leader Jughead: kommunications specialist Reggie: demolition expert Dilton: computer specialist Moose: team tough guy Betty and/or Veronica: team whores and/or fodder This episode: Archie and the Gang infiltrate a Capitalist Stronghold Time: 3:07pm Location: outside a fortress on an island in the Carribean, like me. Mission: infiltrate, assassinate, and detonate Target: "The Bee" The squad quietly approached the small beach where the drop point was located. After gathering their equipment and making a quick check of the perimeter, the unit proceeded to the pre-determined access point. This particular point was a sewer opening leading into the ocean. Moose quickly ripped the rusty gate off its hinges and the squad entered. Archie motioned for everyone to don their masks and kommunication gear that Jughead supplied, and they carefully made their way down the filthy tunnel. As they progressed, Archie thought to himself "Hmmm.. 10 minutes, or a turn, has passed. I wonder if we will encounter any wandering monsters?" The GM replied "No, I rolled a three." Soon, the entry point into the fortress was reached. Reggie placed some silent explosives and rolled percentiles. He made his check and the explosives went with a , but not as loud as the typing may mislead you to believe. In fact, it sounded more like this... . A quick check confirmed that they were, indeed, in a deserted hall no longer used by "The Bee" or any of his cronies. The squad were almost sick to their stomaches as they look at the long forgotten propaganda used in the Cold War. While they were choking down the bile which had begun to rise to their throats, Dilton used his tricorder to determine the location of "The Bee". Betty said, "Is he close?". Jughead silenced her with his nine. Dilton used a complex system of hand signals and body language, which involved him pointing up. The other members, except Veronica, knew that meant "The Bee" was located on the second floor. All of a sudden, the large double doors leading into the hall blasted open, sending shards of wood everywhere. Gun fire sprayed into the room, but the well trained squadron had already dove behind cover. Unfortunetly for Veronica, Archie decided to use her as his cover. As he crouched behind her bullet-riddled body, a sly grin danced across his lips. He was enjoying this too much. Archie got a good look at the enemy, as he always did in such situations. The grin faded from his face as he took in what was before him. A giant robot, humanoid in shape, and the words ETHEL painted across its chest in red, blue, and white. Gun fire rang out from four different points in the room. Archie could not pinpoint the exact location of the gun fire. "Damn, we're good.", he thought, the grin returning to his face. Rising up, he noticed ETHEL firing in all directions, unsure of what to attack. Archie saw his opening and proceeded to tear a grenade from his chest strap. Archie tossed his grenade into ETHEL, screaming "For the motherland!!". A black guy appeared and said "Yo, Arch, you went to Africa?". Archie kicked him in the chest and dove behind an old dresser. An explosion rocked the room. After the debris had settled, Archie rose from his hiding place, and said loudly "Stat check!". All team members (except for the whores) checked in and they rethought their strategy. They had to move fast before reinforcements showed up. Dilton had scanned the room and found a secret elevator leading upstairs. The elevator was now defunct, so they team broke out the grappling hooks and hemp rope. Halfwayne up the shaft, a noise above them startled the group. A familiar voice sent shivers down their spine as it said "Very ingenious, Mista Archie (& the Gang). But now I'm afraid you are caught like rats in some kind of trap. HA HA HA HA HA HA!". A grating sound above them atested to the long unused elevator car descending down upon them. Moving unthinkablely fast, Moose swung in the floor and allowed the car to pass by. Grabbing onto the elevator cable, he braced himself as the full weight of the elevator car almost ripped his arms out of their sockets. An explosion ripped through the bottom on the car and the rest of the team members swung up and out the elevator shaft. A shot rang out and Moose grunted in pain. "The Bee" was running down a hall, smoking .357 still in hand. Too wounded to move on, Moose was forced to stay behind as the other team members started in hot pursuit of "The Bee". They followed him into a large office where the team stopped and quickly scanned the room for his presence. All of a sudden, a piercing scream tore through the air as two bodies emerged from the shadows atop the roof. It was Miss Beazly and Svenson, "The Bee"'s top agents. Due to element of suprise, Reggie and Dilton were promptly knocked out of commission. Archie and Jughead tried to train their sites on the two targets but they simply moved too fast. Within moments, both brave soldiers had been disarmed and were getting their asses handed to them on a silver platter. After several unsuccessful attempts to retailiate, Archie thought to himself "Hold up, I got skillz." He thought back to the techniques that master Ren had taught, but, not seeing a broom handy, resorted to some moves he saw while playing Puzzle Fighter. Since he would not rest until this small child was happy, he eazily pulled off the huhuhuhwahu move, taking out both Svenson and Miss Beazly in the process. Jughead gave him a hearty meal and they were on their wayne to find the evil "Bee". They found him holed up in his main office, crying in the corner, muttering such nonsense as "I only wanted to crush communism" and "my fascist dream ... gone ". Archie and Jughead stood over him, nines' aimed directly at his head. "See ya around, buddy boy.", Archie said as both he and Jughead squeezed the trigger and unloaded their clips into the capitialistic pig. The whole squad met just outside the castle after Reggie had set up his explosives in key places within the structure. The sound of chopter blades interrupted their post-mission cigars as a large Apache rose out of the forest floor not 200 yards from them. A voice over a loud speaker brought a sinking feeling to the squadrons hearts as they heard, "Ha Ha Ha! Capitialism will never die, fools!". "The Bee"'s copter then proceeded to fly off in the opposite direction. The sullen looks from each team member conveyed a similiar feeling; it wasn't over. With a deep sigh, Reggie pressed the detonation button as they saw the pickup boat approach. The loud explosion followed by the collaspe of the castle lightened their hearts only a little as they bordered the boat. Within 24 hours later, back at the main kommand post, the recently resurrected Lenin approached the group opened armed. He spoke, "Well done, team, well done. Even though "The Bee" still lives, you did an outstanding job nonetheless. Have a Guiness Stout on me." The group started to relize that maybe all wasn't bad as they sucked back their Guiness. Lenin spoke again, and all listened. "We have tracked "The Bee" to another secret hideout. In 48 hours time, you will touchdown there to try another assassination attempt." Archie said, "Where is it this time?". Lenin said, "The moon ...". to be kontinued ... -\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/- ___________________________________________________ |THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S | |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| | BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 | | CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 | | THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 | |___________________________________________________| |Website http://ncom.base.org | |Email The BoSS MC at manta1@hotmail.com | |___________________________________________________| -\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/- Copyright (c) 1998 Comintern Publications and The Boss MC All Rights Reserved. #24-6/18/98