____ ______ __/ _/_ \ _/__ ________ _________ ________ ________ \ ____)__/ __ )_/ ______/_ \ __ )_/ ______/_/ _____/\ / \) / (/ / ________/ / (/ / ________/ \) / \___ \ /____/ /____ / /____/ /____ /_________/ \____/ \____/ \____/ \____/ \____/ ____ /___/ ____ ________ ________ _________ ___ ______ __/ _/_ ________ ______ ______ / _____/_ _____/\ __ __ )_ \ __ )\ ____)_ ____/_/ ) __ )_ / \) / \) / (/ (/ / / (/ / \) / ______/ /___/ (/ / /____ \ /________/___/__/ /__/___/ /\___ \ /___ /___/ /___/ / \____/ \___/ \___/ \___/ \___/ \___/ ::::::::.:::..::...:.... ... .. . . .. ... ....:...::..:::.:::::::: t h e n e o - c o m i n t e r n i n s t a l l m e n t 3 1 WE ARE THE 5th INTERNATIONAL September 10th, 1998 editor: BMC writers: Cog BMC ::::::::.:::..::...:.... ... .. . . .. ... ....:...::..:::.:::::::: . featured in this installment: . Two Paths To Atlantis- BMC . Lifestyles Of The Rich In Spirit- Cog . Do You Remember Where You Were on Janus 3, 2430?- BMC . : . . . . . . .. ...................................; EDITOR'S NOTE Well, now that we're laying blueprints for the Communist Global Empire, you may be interested in knowing how we will implement our Atlantean allies as well as you, the home unemployment recipient. Well journey on, or go forth and fuck 'em. ::::::::.:::..::...:.... ... .. . . .. ... ....:...::..:::.:::::::: . TWO PATHS TO ATLANTIS . by BMC . : . . . . . . .. ...................................; Atlantis is the ancient continent which was advanced far beyond our current understanding. The continent has never been seen by modern man. Correction- sightings have never been reported. There are two ways to gain entry to Atlantis, and both are through the earning of club Z points. Yes, before old King Poseidon went down he founded the Zellers corporation. According to the Dead Sea Scrolls, the king left the legacy of Zellers to be tended by land dwelling mortals in North America. The history of Zellers is as mysterious as Atlantis itself. Most people get a television or microwave when the gain a certain amount of club Z points. They do not realize that instead of 5 or 10 microwaves they could be acquiring the Club Z double platinum card. This card not only enables the bearer to unlimited free goods from Zellers, but also permits entry to Atlantis. You still have to get to Atlantis by your own means, but the door is open. Also, the double platinum card is not listed in the catalogue, so don't call me a liar. The second path to Atlantis is less expensive, but much more treacherous. Somewhere within the Ural Mountains is a volcano which is frothing with magma. Within this volcano are several magic diamonds which enable the bearer to perform one of two spells, depending on whether his alliances are with good or evil. The first spell requires an apprenticeship in alchemy. The diamond holder must first grind the diamond into powder. After step one, he must wrap the powder in three bay leaves. When fed to a foe this creates the very useful spell of sleep. I have been told that depending on how fine the powder is ground, the spell can last anywhere from 30 seconds to 15 minutes. The second possible use for the diamond requires that you obtain the staff of Z which looks like this: Z I I I After you get the rod, place the diamond atop the great Z and permission to enter Atlantis will instantly be granted. The rod and diamond can also be purchased from Zellers with a certain amount of club Z points. What mysteries lie within Atlantis? Only my father and I have spoken of what goes on inside, and neither of us have lived to speak a word since. Let me just say that the last time I was there, there was a special encore performance by music star Christopher Cross. ::::::::.:::..::...:.... ... .. . . .. ... ....:...::..:::.:::::::: . LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH IN SPIRIT . By Cog . : . . . . . . .. ...................................; I lost my job about a month ago. It's not so much that I miss the paycheques; no, I miss bitching about the place. And I definitely don't miss those assholes I worked for. Fuck you, Ralph Winterhalt, et family. Especially you, Rebecca Winterhalt, you whore of a manageress. I'll bet you were really a man. Sick. They accused me of stealing, once. Stealing what, you ask? Well, cigarettes and lotto tickets, of course. You know, the stupidest things you could possibly steal. I'd rather just steal money out of the till than filch a handful of "Money Doubler"'s. You'd end up with more cash in the end, that's for damn sure. Yeah, I'd give some of the customers who were lotto addicts some bullshit line about which tickets were "hot" or whatever to maybe give them some hope, but trust me; if you're a clerk in one of them inconvenience stores, then you see how many of those things actually come back. Maybe 5% of them win two stinking quid. I mean, hey...only a retard would steal those things, and I don't look like some mongoloid (although some may beg to differ). As for stealing cigarettes...I didn't do that either. We kept such tight inventory on those things that I'd not only have to be a retard, but a retarded Thalidomide baby with no head to be dumb enough to steal 'em. All in all, it was a good place to work. Weird old people would come in and ask if I could change "a tooo-dollar-coin", or "a fiiive-dollar-beel". This loser named JOHN BLACK would come in and hang out there, wasting his life, and thinking that you were listening to him talk. Little kids would steal candy and cans of sody pop. Oh, and of course there were the rude customers, the stinky people, and those disgusting pizzas we were forced to make with rotten meat. You know, I think I may have been wrong. I do miss something... I miss the paycheques. I worked there for six months. In that time, I fixed things up, and organized things that were terrible. I did my job well, and didn't bitch about it while I working. I put up with the losers who came in and kept a smile on my face while they rambled incoherently, and I talked with the decent townsfolk who were like nuggets of gold in a heap of wolfshit. Some of the customers said I should get a medal of some sort, because I was so good with the crowds of kids who would come in after school. I guess you could pretty much compare me to, well, Santa Claus -- always giving. But I forgot that Santa never gets anything back. Imagine this: you work at an inconvenience store. One day you have a job amid rumours (and the eventual fact) of the place being sold. You ask if the new owners (a national chain, by the way) will be re-hiring the existing employees or hiring a completely new staff. They say it's almost gospel that you'll be there after the nice little inconvenience store is swallowed up by the big, slutty corporation. You don't feel the need to look for another job as you feel fairly secure where you are... Then one day you come for your shift, and there's new people working there. And I'm not just talking about a couple new staff members or some other thing. No, I mean like different "uniforms", new cash registers, a new manager, and other stuff. What a pisser, right? So what do you do..? TO BE CONTINUED... ::::::::.:::..::...:.... ... .. . . .. ... ....:...::..:::.::::::: . DO YOU REMEMBER WHERE YOU WERE ON JANUS 3, 2430? . By BMC . : . . . . . . .. ...................................; The year is 2430, and blue jeans are the hottest trend. The world is shaken when the continent of Australia declares war on the Communist Global Empire. The Australians are fighting with sticks and boomerangs, and the CGE has recently developed the "bow and arrow" for military purposes. It is known that although the commoners fear these new military advances, they still have every confidence in our armed forces. The CGE is also working hard to develop a "boat", an item with which we will have opportunity to get closer to the enemy before launching attacks. At present, our militia are standing on tall platforms at the edges of India and South America, firing arrows into the ocean in case of enemy swimmers. As of yet there have been no official deaths in the war, except for the hundreds of civilian casualties due to returning boomerangs. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Doctor Reuban O'Neill has introduced the revolutionary "boat" to the CGE. Within the first few months covert sea vessels have penetrated Australian defenses and stolen the designs for the "boomerangs". Land Mass civilian casualties have now begun to accumulate due to boomerang misuse. No attempt at negotiation has been made yet. The year is now 1530 and philosophers have decided to solve World War 3 by holding a boxing match which will place a kangaroo with boxing gloves against the resurrected body of Karl Marx. The year is still 1530, and Karl Marx has emerged victorious. Australian negotiations have began, and Australia has agreed to attach an outboard motor to their coast and sail north! When Australia joins the Communist Global Empire, the world will be a better place to live. ::::::::.:::..::...:.... ... .. . . .. ... ....:...::..:::.:::::::: ___________________________________________________ |THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S | |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| | BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 | | CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 | | THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 | |___________________________________________________| | Website http://www.sfn.saskatoon.sk.ca/~ad357 | | Email BMC at manta1@hotmail.com | |___________________________________________________| ::::::::.:::..::...:.... ... .. . . .. ... ....:...::..:::.:::::::: #31-09/10/98 Copyright 1998 N-Com All content is property of The Neo-Comintern. Unauthorized use of any part of document is prohibited. All Rights Reserved.