____ ______ __/ _/_ \ _/__ ________ _________ ________ ________ \ ____)__/ __ )_/ ______/_ \ __ )_/ ______/_/ _____/\ / \) / (/ / ________/ / (/ / ________/ \) / \___ \ /____/ /____ / /____/ /____ /_________/ \____/ \____/ \____/ \____/ \____/ ____ /___/ ____ ________ ________ _________ ___ ______ __/ _/_ ________ ______ ______ / _____/_ _____/\ __ __ )_ \ __ )\ ____)_ ____/_/ ) __ )_ / \) / \) / (/ (/ / / (/ / \) / ______/ /___/ (/ / /____ \ /________/___/__/ /__/___/ /\___ \ /___ /___/ /___/ / \____/ \___/ \___/ \___/ \___/ \___/ ::::::::.:::..::...:.... ... .. . . .. ... ....:...::..:::.:::::::: t h e n e o - c o m i n t e r n i n s t a l l m e n t 3 9 WE ARE THE 5th INTERNATIONAL November 5th, 1998 editor: BMC ::::::::.:::..::...:.... ... .. . . .. ... ....:...::..:::.:::::::: . featured in this installment: . 100 Articles=100 Lessons Learned . : . . . . . . .. ...................................; EDITORS NOTE "Take the case of your "auto-mobiles". Greatest invention since man discovered wheels. Hydromatic overdrive, four on the floor, push-button windows, push-button doors, double-barrel carburetors rush you any place. BUT, you never can find a parking space!" -Spock ::::::::.:::..::...:.... ... .. . . .. ... ....:...::..:::.:::::::: . 100 ARTICLES=100 LESSONS LEARNED . : . . . . . . .. ...................................; Self Explanitory 1) Bug-Bears and Orcs really exist. 2) One of the first mandates will be to abolish the 9 to 5 work day. 3) Gin is to communists what snifters of brandy are to the bastard capatalists. 4) Only one to biloeda is yo piggy piggy Pa. 5) The Comintern is the champagne of literature. 6) In the sequel to "Gal's Panic" there should be more girls, and an option to print those sexy pictures. 7) Bubbles come not from the sack, but from the heart. 8) The MAVO organization is fast growing. 9) Communism. 10) Over 64.9% of all customers at convenience stores are pedophiles. 11) I here and you whereever, live in parallel. 12) We can say that Eazy was not just an idol to most of us, but in fact an actual living, breathing, god to some others. 13) Spiral fries represent the plummeting economy. 14) If you type "JENNIE", you get 3 extra forest fights. 15) Ben makes the sky light up pink when it's not pink. 16) I love you more than a man that's two feet tall. 17) Fascism may look good on the outside to some. 18) Uno is simply not a game for the masses. 19) In the Middle Ages, I wouldn't have to go to school, because my dad would teach me how to make swords or cast foul sorcery. 20) Everyone will be in a state of blissful utopia, thanks to the land bridge. 21) Kids use computers for not only work and school, but for something called "video games". 22) If you buy a car, and it breaks down, does that mean that every car in the world will be exactly the same? 23) Don't write e-mail to BMC. 24) Life in L.A. ain't no cup of tea. 25) I hape 0PZ! 26) The contributors in Bosnia and the former Yugoslavia send their heartfelt contributions by morse code for lack of a computer. 27) There is no way around the water. 28) My vision shall create what is in most circles known as the MONSTER LABOUR CAMP. 29) When my toddlers begin misbehaving I will lock them in the cold cement basement. 30) Imagine if the world was more like Street Rod II. 31) Sausage enhances the mind to a higher state but it's bad for the heart. 32) Upon my crossing of the Saskatchewan-Alberta border, my car was searched by four 6'1" centurions in brown uniforms. 33) Let your potential employer know that you are an active socialist radical. 34) When we are in control we are opting for more pleasant sunny days instead of this pricey cold weather. 35) Who told you that Shock G and Humpty Hump are the same person back in '91? 36) The only good thing about "Wassup Wit Da Love" is that they say "Boo-Yakka!" 37) The Police damn'd my family to hell for something about administering a substance call'd L.S.D. to a minor constantly since birth. 38) BMC is a plagarist. 39) Bottom eyelids don't get enough credit. 40) With the Communist overthrow of Canada, hangovers will be outlawed. 41) Sleep with one eye open! I'm not schizophrenic! 42) We will kill or die for paprika to earn it the name it deserves. 43) Yes, Jean Chretien and Preston Manning are synonymous. 44) I heard potato chips aren't even 25% sugar. 45) A.G. leads us to believe he grew up in "the inner city", but being from a race of giants, how is that possible? 46) A Giant in the mental is worth two in the fern. 47) One never know. 48) "Onics" is the best application ever made. 49) Don't do the Eurovideo contest under ANY circumstances. 50) Of all of the shitty cities and towns I have seen, our shitty town is my favorite. 51) I can always return to those great times, and right which has gone so terribly wrong. 52) In cases of shoplifting, the KGB would mount a nation wide manhunt with the help of the monsters to bring the offender to justice. 53) The ocean in the "Zany Golf" world is not water, but hydrochloric acid. 54) There are lots of things to think about. 55) A tiny BBS could use an attraction like "The Comintern" 56) There are not many things worse than being forced to live on the sun and eat yellow and red fire. 57) Archie comics can be used as an effective tool for communist propaganda. 60) There was an index made in issue #25. 61) Yella having sex. If that sentence disturbed you, skip song 18. 62) Herrings (at least the red ones) are fish, I think. Or birds. 63) It'll be like '91 until the last time you see me. 64) Monstars should be more active in Global Trade, or should I say the halting of Global Trade. 65) If you e-mail me, I will send you 20 dollars. 66) Other than killing people, zombies are quite satisfied with shambling around. 67) White-collar monsters have a more refined taste, and thus prefer caviar and Brittany crackers over human body parts. 68) The purple fire (at least that's what I was told it was) tastes like salmon. 69) STUYA. 70) MOoN MONSTARS may come across as friendly and never once in a thirty year relationship do anything to harm you, but I assure you it would only be a matter of time until they strike. 71) I hope they at Burger King think about how their grease dumpster was sitting in the sun for maybe a week and how someone pissed in it. 72) Ren was a young pup fresh outta high school when superstar recruiter Eazy-E was putting togetha a group called The Rainbow All-Stars. 73) The definition of a ruthless gangsta is, in actuality, villian. 74) "...and did the D.O.C. get his voice back" 75) There are two ways to gain entry to Atlantis, and both are through the earning of club Z points. 76) I'd not only have to be a retard, but a retarded Thalidomide baby with no head to be dumb enough to steal 'em. 77) The Communist Global Empire's top scientists are hard at work developing the "boat". 78) The popular belief is that cats are an ancient race of beings formerly known as extraterrestrials, or Martians, to be exact. 79) "Cog has many eyeballs. He owns Joey JoJo Jeremiah Shabadu, a dog." 80) The loveable planet of red is housebroken and GREAT with children. 81) The world's most beautiful gem- Atlantis. 82) The game of Zolitaire beats you not only mentally, but also emotionally, spiritually and very very physically. 83) Your car is a bit more fixed. It blows no more white smoke, only blue smoke! 84) A third reference to the maps informed us that we were still docked in the port. 85) Why are so called "crazy people" locked up in white padded cells instead of huge halls with disco balls and streamers? 86) Biz Markie is the Cookie Monster of rap; fuzzy, blue, and he has the mentality of a 4 year old. 87) Poseidon, Namor and I feasted on a delecious crayfish and algae platter lightly sprinkled with MoOn dust. 88) "When I am finished schooling you in the Atlantean ways, you shall go forth and found the `Neo-Comintern'." 89) I've got the razor blade ready, and I've mapped out the perfect area of my wrist to slit. 90) The Pyramids of Saskatoon will destroy the outdated notion of "monotheism". 91) They threatened legal action against me unless I quit defrauding people of money and having MoON Monstars as slaves working on my new aquaduct. 92) The mausoleum is cool even if today's version is only a yellow marble bathtub in that guy's yard. 93) Peterson inspired the Statue Of Liberty to come to life for a week or so back in '99. 94) One of the original wonders of the world was so big that it had to be thrown into space. We now call it "Pluto". 95) BRAAAIIIIIIIIIII!!!! 96) One thing the kids still don't understand is when I give them the back of my hand. 97) Damn them fascists! 98) Be nice to zombies or we'll ... I mean, they'll eat you alive! 99) Gobbie Gee seems to intimidate young and old ladies as we walk through the downtown streets of Cincinnati, Nebraska. 100) 100 articles have been published in the Neo-Comintern (if you include this one) ::::::::.:::..::...:.... ... .. . . .. ... ....:...::..:::.:::::::: ___________________________________________________ |THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S | |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| | BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 | | CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 | | THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 | |___________________________________________________| | Website http://www.sfn.saskatoon.sk.ca/~ad357 | | Email BMC at manta1@hotmail.com | |___________________________________________________| ::::::::.:::..::...:.... ... .. . . .. ... ....:...::..:::.:::::::: #39-11/05/98 Copyright 1998 N-Com All content is property of The Neo-Comintern. Unauthorized use of any part of document is prohibited. All Rights Reserved.