____ ______ __/ _/_ \ _/__ ________ _________ ________ ________ \ ____)__/ __ )_/ ______/_ \ __ )_/ ______/_/ _____/\ / \) / (/ / ________/ / (/ / ________/ \) / \___ \ /____/ /____ / /____/ /____ /_________/ \____/ \____/ \____/ \____/ \____/ ____ /___/ ____ ________ ________ _________ ___ ______ __/ _/_ ________ ______ ______ / _____/_ _____/\ __ __ )_ \ __ )\ ____)_ ____/_/ ) __ )_ / \) / \) / (/ (/ / / (/ / \) / ______/ /___/ (/ / /____ \ /________/___/__/ /__/___/ /\___ \ /___ /___/ /___/ / \____/ \___/ \___/ \___/ \___/ \___/ ::::::::.:::..::...:.... ... .. . . .. ... ....:...::..:::.:::::::: t h e n e o - c o m i n t e r n i n s t a l l m e n t 4 1 WE ARE THE 5th INTERNATIONAL November 17th, 1998 editor: BMC writers: Cog BMC ::::::::.:::..::...:.... ... .. . . .. ... ....:...::..:::.:::::::: . featured in this installment: . If I Reveiwed Movies, And If I Was Also Stupid- Cog . Plain and Simple Book Reviews. Yep. Plain and Simple- BMC . : . . . . . . .. ...................................; RAP N' ROLL? Nope, that was last issue. In case you missed it, be sure to check it out, not that it was particularly good, or anything. Anyway, If you still care, the current issue is about re/view/s. It is my pleasure to present two individual articles served with a low grade filler at the end. Paix! ::::::::.:::..::...:.... ... .. . . .. ... ....:...::..:::.:::::::: . IF I REVIEWED MOVIES, AND IF I WAS ALSO STUPID . By Cog : . . . . . . .. ...................................; "I'm no plagarist like certain other (BMC) people who write for neo-communist publications." -Cog THE NEO-COMINTERN RATINGS SYSTEM: * = For smarty pantz * * = Rarely comprehendable * * * = Good * * * * = One of the best * * * * * = Should win an Emmy * * * * * * = Jim Carrey FORREST GUMP I like to watch the retard. I also like how they used the budget to bring famous people back to life. Other than that, I don't know what's going on in this movie. Didn't that guy have legs at the beginning or something? --RATING: * * BLUES BROTHERS 2000 Now THIS is finally a movie that surpasses it's prequel. I like the 20 minute car crash scene, and how that guy flies into the air with light all over him when James Brown is around. Another good part is when the Blues Brothers turn undead and sing calypso music! Not only was it a good move to cast John Goodman into that stupid John Belushi's role, but I really liked the little kid they cast. I think it was also a good idea to have the ghosts in the sky when they sang "Ghost Riders in the Sky". I'm glad that part was just like the "Rawhide" part in the first movie! --RATING: * * * * * BATMAN FOREVER Some people thought Jim Carrey was really gay after seeing him running around in those tights, but I thought it was AWESOME! This was WAY better than the first one, second one, and fourth one. They should have had Jim Carrey play the Joker...Or, better yet, he could play Batman in Part Five! --RATING: * * * * * * INDEPENDANCE DAY I like the explosions! What more can I say?! I'm glad that after Earth blew up, Will Smith started searching all over North America and found his wife after searching for only 5 minutes. I think it was really awesome that he also found the president's wife at the same time (I was getting worried!). Jeff Goldblum must be really smart, because he figured out the alien computer system on his laptop. I'm sad that Randy Quaid had to die. :( --RATING: * * * * SGT. BILKO Who says Steve Martin isn't funny anymore? This is the best movie since Police Academy 3: Back in Training! ..."MAHONEY!!!" :) --RATING: * * * * TITANIC I like how every single thing in this movie happened in real life. I wonder where the real Rose lived? I think Leonardo should have lived at the end though. That would have been awesome if the movie ended with their wedding! --RATING: * * * (And my heart!) :) THE TRUMAN SHOW I thought Jim Carrey was going to make funny faces, and fart and stuff. :( --RATING: * * (Sorry Jim!!) .::::Preview Reviews::::. MAN IN THE MOON (Upcoming) I think it was a good move to have Jim Carrey starring as that Andy Kaufman guy. I liked Andy's "Mighty Mouse" sketch because the Mighty Mouse song is old. I didn't understand much of anything else Andy Kaufman did, though. --RATING: * * * * * (Would have been 6 [for Jim], but Andy Kaufman was confusing; and he was mean to Jerry Lawlor [THE KING!]) SOUTH PARK: THE MOVIE (Upcoming) YES! I wonder how Kenny will die..? I hope he dies 4 times! I hope they can say "fuck" since it's a movie, because that would be funny! --RATING: * * * * * THE GRINCH WHO STOLE CHRISTMAS (Remake, Upcoming) AWESOME! Jim Carrey as the Grinch! This will be way better than that crappy cartoon made by Chuck Jones, the so-called "Animation Legend". He's not as funny as Jim Carrey, that's for sure! They should have a scene in the remake where Chuck Jones talks with his ass like Jim did in Ace Ventura! --RATING: * * * * * * ::::::::.:::..::...:.... ... .. . . .. ... ....:...::..:::.:::::::: . PLAIN AND SIMPLE BOOK REVIEWS. YEP. PLAIN AND SIMPLE. . By BMC . : . . . . . . .. ...................................; Every day people come up to me and say "Hey, we love the Comintern, and we're ready for the sudden violent revolution, but in the mean time we need something else to do, other than than reading the Neo-Comintern, or back issues of The Comintern. I mean, it can sometimes seem very bleak." Although that brings a tear to my large, all-overseeing eye, I have thought long and hard, and I have decided to give you a "re/views" section of literature's greats. This way you will be able to go out and read selected readings which have been authorized by the Communist Global Empire. Also, as the sum of you might know, I have never personally read any of these great works, but I have been told that they are good, and for the masses I have wrought to screen my list of the communist classics based on their covers alone. Note that I have one random cover for each one, and if anyone happens to have the same print, just let me know what the publishing date was. A Clockwork Orange- Anthony Burgess There's just this guy with a sprocket for an eye, and no other facial features. So this is probably a really boring book, cause this guy can't see or smell or talk, so why bother? But you should read it anyway, cause some people told me that you ought to read it. King Solomon's Mines- H. Rider Haggard This book is bound in green and black leather, so it's probably written quite well. On the other hand, there aren't any pictures on the cover so it can't possibly be about anything THAT important. The Theban Plays- Sophocles From what I can tell, it's a touching story about a guy who sits on a rock and how he meets up with another guy who has wings and a tail. They hang out on a dinner plate until one of them gets bored and decides to leave. What will happen next? Read for yourself, and witness the adventure unfolding. The Prince- Machiavelli This really big hand grows out of the ground and a bunch of people stand in it. Witness real life accounts of their short, sad lives, and hear the tragic tale of the day the hand scrubbed itself with soap and water. Black Like Me- John Howard Griffin Well, my copy is the 44th "big" printing, so if anyone wants to see the back of some guy walking between some pillars, look for this amazing cover. Also, be sure to read the first line of text on tha cover, "What is it like, really like, to be a negro in the deep south today?" But make sure you get in your time machine and go back to 1960 before you read that line. Gulliver's Travels- Jonathan Swift This one had a bunch of people sitting in a guy's hand again, so it's probably the same as that Makavelli or whatever the hell it was. Alice's Adventures In Wonderland- Lewis Carroll This one rules because a red queen points at stuff and a bunch of card-kings and jacks and stuff are getting yelled at by her. Ok, maybe it dosen't look funny, but at least it promises to be a dramatic great. P.S. What the hell is a "jack" anyway? Animal Farm- George Orwell Answer: A windmill, a gun, a cool looking flag and a black bird. Question: What elements are necesary for any literary great? It looks like a good one, because there's a penguin in a circle at the bottom of the page. 1984- George Orwell There's that penguin that rules again. Anyway, I liked the year 1984, so I imagine that this book will be pretty good too. Plus there's a really cool picture of god on the front cover. I love him. Soul On Ice- Eldridge Cleaver It's just some guy sitting there being unamusing! I'd probably never read this one cause it looks so boring, but I exhort you to read it anyway. AND BLord of the Flies- William Golding This one looks kinda really gross, so forget about that one. They say that you can judge a book by its cover, and it's true! I urge you to do it sometime. P * A * I * X * ! ::::::::.:::..::...:.... ... .. . . .. ... ....:...::..:::.:::::::: ___________________________________________________ |THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S | |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| | BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 | | CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 | | THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 | |___________________________________________________| | Website http://www.sfn.saskatoon.sk.ca/~ad357 | | Email BMC at manta1@hotmail.com | |___________________________________________________| ::::::::.:::..::...:.... ... .. . . .. ... ....:...::..:::.:::::::: #41-11/17/98 Copyright 1998 N-Com All content is property of The Neo-Comintern. Unauthorized use of any part of document is prohibited. All Rights Reserved.