____ ______ __/ _/_ \ _/__ ________ _________ ________ ________ \ ____)__/ __ )_/ ______/_ \ __ )_/ ______/_/ _____/\ / \) / (/ / ________/ / (/ / ________/ \) / \___ \ /____/ /____ / /____/ /____ /_________/ \____/ \____/ \____/ \____/ \____/ ____ /___/ ____ ________ ________ _________ ___ ______ __/ _/_ ________ ______ ______ / _____/_ _____/\ __ __ )_ \ __ )\ ____)_ ____/_/ ) __ )_ / \) / \) / (/ (/ / / (/ / \) / ______/ /___/ (/ / /____ \ /________/___/__/ /__/___/ /\___ \ /___ /___/ /___/ / \____/ \___/ \___/ \___/ \___/ \___/ ::::::::.:::..::...:.... ... .. . . .. ... ....:...::..:::.:::::::: t h e n e o - c o m i n t e r n i n s t a l l m e n t 4 6 WE ARE THE 5th INTERNATIONAL December 27th, 1998 editor: BMC writers: Gnarly Wayne Street Fighter BMC ::::::::.:::..::...:.... ... .. . . .. ... ....:...::..:::.:::::::: . featured in this installment: . A Typical Day In Hell- Gnarly Wayne . Life And Death: The True Story Of Animal: Street Fighter . Chris Otsig, The Animal- BMC . : . . . . . . .. ...................................; AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR And we venture forth into the 9o's (more specifically, the '99). So, paix be upon you and joyeux noel to the country of France. We're also working on our New Year's Resoultions, so maybe we'll reveal them in a future installment. I guess that's all there is to say for now, so as snuop doggie ddog says, "Happy Hizaunakah!" ::::::::.:::..::...:.... ... .. . . .. ... ....:...::..:::.:::::::: . A TYPICAL DAY IN HELL . By Gnarly Wayne . : . . . . . . .. ...................................; 6:00am - Awakened by bucket of magma poured on skull. 6:01am - Scrap hardening magma from skull while screaming. 6:05am - Shower consisting of shards of broken glass and old toe nail clippings. 6:15am - Breakfast consisting of nothing. 6:30am - Worship Satan for a spell. 6:45am - Head to work in frankfurter car (uncooked). 10:00am - Arrive at work in the mines. 10:05am - Put on work clothes (cement boots, steel-wool underwear, spandex pants, and iron bucket helmet with eye holes punched out). 10:15am - Mined rocks. 1:15pm - Thirty second lunch break. Today's menu: nothing. 1:15.30pm - Daily motivational torture. Today's torture: Multiple kidney punches. 2:00pm - Mine more rocks. Occasionally lucky enough to find a large rock. 5:00pm - Frog call signals end of days work. 5:05pm - Pick up paycheck. Total pay: $187.00. 5:05.01pm - Die again. 5:10pm - Try to cash cheque, forgetting no banks exist in hell. 5:15pm - Head home. 10:00pm - Arrive home and eat supper consisting of cabbage rolls, brimstone, and lava gravy. 10:30pm - Finally stop writhing about after burning out innards. Watch TV. 11:00pm - Only thing on is Super Harlem Globetrotters, so listen to music. 12:00pm - All tapes are Yella: This 1's fa tha E, and all tracks are acapella, so do daily breakdown and cry routine. 4:00pm - Commit suicide. 4:01pm - Wake up in hell. 4:02pm - Cry again. 5:59pm - Go to sleep on bed of nails, glass, magma, and snapping turtles. Authors note: An alternate title could also be A Typical Day in the life of a Capitialist. ::::::::.:::..::...:.... ... .. . . .. ... ....:...::..:::.:::::::: . LIFE AND DEATH: THE TRUE STORY OF ANIMAL . By Street Fighter . : . . . . . . .. ...................................; Animal as defined by the Neo-Comintern dictionary: A hideous abomination, created through the UnHolY alliance of 60's acid, shitty weed (200% weaker compared to today's high quality), morphine and cough medicine (yay for the good times the good ol' boys in Nam had on this one). This spawn was conceived by 16 and 18 year old substance abusers who were steeped in twisted, arcane rites of pagan worship. This heinous act created ANIMAL a.k.a MANIMAL!!!!!! This would-be anti-Christ figure can create anything from his vast repertoire of surplus antique equipment; from breaking into the most high tech facilities in North America to disproving that a government exists. In all actuality HE can do all. Even the Prince of Darkness cannot hold a candle (a Hell candle of course made from the flesh of Monster Labour Camp guests) to him. The atrocities perpetuated and endorsed by this being of Original Sin put the Nazi's to shame. The Holocaust is Sunday brunch to Animal. How should mankind view this man\creature\Beast\devil\abomination\etc etc etc? With only the understanding a grub has in the fingers of a gorilla. No amount of logic, truth and beatings can change his UnHoLY opinions. Only his Laws of Physics could make a car run on urine, only he can one up the Son of God by dying and rising twice. Hell, twice in one night. So wake up! The time of Revelations and Apocalypse are upon us. No, not in the form of year 2000 but in the misbegotten life-span of ANIMAL!!!! AAHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. NONONONONNONNO NON NO NO NO IN TYPING THIS DEFINITION I HAVE OPENED MY MIND TO HIS PRESENCE I AM NOW HIS TOY TO DO WITH AS HE PLEASES. no no PLEASE ANIMAL DO NOT INTRODUCE ME TO YOUR FRIENDS NO NO NO AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ::::::::.:::..::...:.... ... .. . . .. ... ....:...::..:::.:::::::: . CHRIS OTSIG, THE ANIMAL . By BMC . : . . . . . . .. ...................................; Some said that the Animal would never last, and although he has'nt been spotted by the authorities in recent years, he still lurks in the seedy underbelly of the city of night. A local legend, Animal has been known to defy the laws of thermodynamics and reason. The life of Animal is by no means normal. From his abitity to drink thirty beers without getting drunk to proving that he can sustain life by eating nothing but his own excrement, Animal has amazed the science community from dae 1, and is otherwise known as "The Modern Dae Copernicus." Of course, all of his feats are fabrications of his poor, twisted mind. Animal's co existance with the human race is equal to a man living among gods. Animal, however, would consider himself a god among men. Maybe he's closer to feces among celetial bodies. Animal's humble beginning was as a grade 9 hacker elite. Everybody in my school was familiar with his hacking/phreaking "skills," although he could never offer proof that he could operate a computer or even a telephone. One of his exploits involves hacking into the bank computer, then asking me if he could borrow five dollars. Of course I said no. He claimed to be leader of a large Saskatoon gang. He claimed to have built a satellite dish out of cardboard and tin foil. It got ALL of the satellite stations, especially the top secret government transmissions. Perfect reception, too! In closing, if you ever see this human dartboard (AKA genetic experiment failure #187) don't ask him to drive over the median. ::::::::.:::..::...:.... ... .. . . .. ... ....:...::..:::.:::::::: ___________________________________________________ |THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S | |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| | BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 | | CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 | | THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 | |___________________________________________________| | Website http://www.sfn.saskatoon.sk.ca/~ad357 | | Email BMC at manta1@hotmail.com | |___________________________________________________| ::::::::.:::..::...:.... ... .. . . .. ... ....:...::..:::.:::::::: #46-12/27/98 Copyright 1998 N-Com All content is property of The Neo-Comintern. Unauthorized use of any part of document is prohibited. All Rights Reserved.