qn, d&&&&&&&&P ;P d&b d&&P ;P d' d' d' d&; d' ;P ;&,e&q, .c&&q, ;P`&; ;P .c&&q, ,c&&q, d' dP~ `b ;P' `& d' `&; d';P' `& ;P' `d ;P ;P ;P dB&&&&P ;P `&;;P dB&&&&P d P d&&P d' d' d' &, , d' `&d' &, , &, .,d' d&&P &&& &&& `&&&P' d&&P `P `&&&P' `&&&P , ,e&&&q,a ,nP' d' ;P' `d' "' d&&&P d' " ,c&&q, q&,e&q,e&q, q&P q&,e&q, ;P' ,c&&q, q&,e&q q&,e&q, ;P ;P' `d dP~ `B~ `b dP dP~ `b d' ;P' `& dP~ `P dP `b d' , d P ;P ;P ;P ;P ;P ;P ;P dB&&&&P ;P ;P ;P &, .,d' &, .,d' d' d' d' d' d' d' d' , &, , d' d' d' `Y&&&P' `&&&P' &&b ;P d&P &&b &&b d&P `&P' `&&&P' &&b &&b d&P odO$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.odO$|$Obo.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$Obo t h e n e o - c o m i n t e r n e l e c t r o n i c m a g z i n e I n s t a l l m e n t N u m b e r 5 4 .WE ARE THE 5th INTERNATIONAL .February 28th, 1999 .Editor: BMC .Writers: .BMC odO$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.odO$|$Obo.odO$.odO $.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$Obo ";P' Featured in this installment: `$ ;P The Communist Global Empire's Top 10 Revolutions- BMC d' ;P d'. .,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,; EDITOR'S NOTE Our books teach us that the winners of the wars are the virtuous ones. The winners write the history books, and unsuccessful revolutions are taught to have been less "noble". The revolution is similar to the rebellion, the only popular difference being that one was successful, and one was not. When a rebel succeeds, he is a revolutionary. Through the reading of this, the "true history of the world", I hope that each of you will begin to harbour dreams of your own violent and superficial revolutions wherever and whenever possible. odO$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.odO$|$Obo.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$Obo ";P' THE TOP TEN REVOLUTIONS IN HISTORY d' by BMC ;P d'. .,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,; TIMELINE 1678 The Atlantean Revolution 1688 The Glorious Revolution 1885 The Riel Rebellion 1917 The Russian Revolution 1968 Revolution Number Nine 2101 The Glorious Revolution part deux 2240 The Uunited Statian Rebellion 2430 The Australian Rebellion 3601 THE MOOn MONSTAR REBELLION =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- The Atlantean Revolution of 1678 The civil war that resulted in the first socialist society was headed by Poseidon, who kept the title of "king". The definition of socialism at this time was exactly the same as monarchy, but the king held much more power, and the serfs had fewer rights. This was achieved through years of civilian bloodshed. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- The Glorious Revolution of 1688 This was the first "cool" revolution, and it was probably best known for spawning the invention which later was referred to as the "glory hole". The glorious revolution, though, was more than innovation. This was a group of guys overthrowing the monarchy before it was the fashion. They made revolution a household name throughout the world. Although their idea of "glorious revolution merchandise" was not very profitable, they did continue to have effect as a world power. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- The Riel Rebellion of 1885 This is the war that Louis Riel lost because of his foolishness. A few weeks ago, we fired up the old time machine and went back to 1884 and supplied Riel with heavy artillery and long range missles. Then we sat around and watched as Louis Riel confidently prepared for war. Heh, what he didn't realize was that we had armed the government with nuclear weapons. Ha, then we watched as John A. launched the missle that destroyed all of Saskatchewan, except for a small child in the far north who was promptly killed with the butt end of an RCMP's shotgun. Oh, did I mention that this explosion also killed all of us who were too hung over to get out of the way? Yeah, we died, so we had to go back in time again and tell ourselves not to give the world of 1884 the gifts of nuclear science and conscription. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- The Russian Revolution of 1917 Way back when things were corrupt in royal Russia, a brave young man named Lenin shaved the mold from the ice, then formed the Russian cube into one of the finest ice sculptures ever witnessed. What was once a frozen land soon became a love inspired figure of power through peace. This true image was never shown on our television sets, but neither was Saturday Night Live '80, and that also constituted reality, though it was reality in the most horrific sense of the word. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Revolution Number Nine of 1968 You say you want a revolution? Well, you know John Lennon said that in Revolution Number One, but it was when John Lennon got high on LsD and started screwing around with some sound effects that something much bigger happened. It was Revolution Number Nine, and from the introduction of this experimental masterpiece a series of thirty-three and a third revolutions per minute took place for the next five minutes. If you add this to the nine revolutions that John already started it comes close to 200 revolutions! So after he started and finished all of these revolutions, was he happy? Obviously not, because he was murdered in 1980. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- The Glorious Revolution part deux of 2101 This was the revolution to end all revolutions. The founding of the "Beautiful Communist Family" (which later became the Communist Global Empire) meant simply that Canada would change it's flag and gain soverignty from Quebec, where the majority of the nation's power was held. It came about when the rest of Canada had been begging for 100 years, and Quebec held like the fiftieth refferendum for our freedom, and we lost again. Oh well, we finally realized how we outnumbered them by something like 4 to one, and then we murdered them all with branches of trees and broken pop bottles. Anyway, the land bridge was close to done, and we were ready to finally get some heroic leadership and go imperialist on the world and coerce them into a communist lyfestyle. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- The Uunited Statian Rebellion of 2240 As the EU put up one last protest against joining The Land Bridge Country (Canada and Eurasia), the Zakkor, an ancient race of immortals, started performing terrorist acts against The Land Bridge Country. This resulted in World War 3, also known as "Secret Wars 3". The fight ended with Iron Fist catching The Beyonder (god) with a surprise shot to the pouch. The result was a universe ending explosion which destroyed everything within the EU. After that entire country was slaughtered, we were finally free to live in peace with their dead bodies. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- The Australian Rebellion of 2430 When we, the Communist Global Empire decided to physically move the geographic location of Australia, they considered it to be an act of war. OK, well maybe it was done in a very hostile manner, but that still didn't give them a reason to defend themselves. In 1530 the Australians, defeated through a televised boxing match, decided to peaceably join the CGE, thereby ending the conquest to create the largest empire possible. This last puzzle peace made the earth the greatest tourism planet in the entire solar realm. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- THE MOOn MONSTAR REBELLION OF 3601 When humans found the moon of earth to be inhabitable, the mOon monStars attempted to destroy us by offering to live in harmony with us. Since we were fully aware that any unmurdered mooN monsTar would eventually turn on a human being, we waged war most bloody until all of the monstars were slain. As we feasted on their flesh, we gained a higher consciousness of the cosmos, to the point of realizing the moOn monstarS may actually have intended no harm to us. Years later, we constructed the first wonder of the moon; a huge monument to peace constructed from the soft bones of our special friends, the MooN MonstaRs. odO$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.odO$|$Obo.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$Obo ___________________________________________________ |THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S | |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| | BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 | | CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 | | THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 | |___________________________________________________| | Website at: http://members.home.com/comintern | | Email BMC at: thebmc@home.com | |___________________________________________________| odO$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.odO$|$Obo.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$Obo Copyright 1999 by The Neo-Comintern #54-02/28/99 All content is property of The Neo-Comintern. You may redistribute this document, although no fee can be charged and the content must not be altered or modified in any way. Unauthorized use of any part of this document is prohibited. All rights reserved. Made in Canada.