qn, d&&&&&&&&P ;P d&b d&&P ;P d' d' d' d&; d' ;P ;&,e&q, .c&&q, ;P`&; ;P .c&&q, ,c&&q, d' dP~ `b ;P' `& d' `&; d';P' `& ;P' `d ;P ;P ;P dB&&&&P ;P `&;;P dB&&&&P d P d&&P d' d' d' &, , d' `&d' &, , &, .,d' d&&P &&& &&& `&&&P' d&&P `P `&&&P' `&&&P , ,e&&&q,a ,nP' d' ;P' `d' "' d&&&P d' " ,c&&q, q&,e&q,e&q, q&P q&,e&q, ;P' ,c&&q, q&,e&q q&,e&q, ;P ;P' `d dP~ `B~ `b dP dP~ `b d' ;P' `& dP~ `P dP `b d' , d P ;P ;P ;P ;P ;P ;P ;P dB&&&&P ;P ;P ;P &, .,d' &, .,d' d' d' d' d' d' d' d' , &, , d' d' d' `Y&&&P' `&&&P' &&b ;P d&P &&b &&b d&P `&P' `&&&P' &&b &&b d&P odO$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.odO$|$Obo.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$Obo t h e n e o - c o m i n t e r n e l e c t r o n i c m a g z i n e I n s t a l l m e n t N u m b e r 5 6 .WE ARE THE 5th INTERNATIONAL .March 16th, 1999 .Editor: BMC .Writers: .Gnarly Wayne .BMC odO$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.odO$|$Obo.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$Obo ";P' Featured in this installment: `$ $ The Sun Of Man- BMC $ Bzarhands Get Hurt- Gnarly Wayne ;P Acro Classics- BMC d' ;P d'. .,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,; EDITOR'S NOTE Well, sometimes we philosophize and speak on whether this religion or that is the right one. Politics. What system makes the people happy? Which brings a greater crop, or what produces more soldiers? It's all a strategy played by all of these self-imposed rulers that we have. There were problems in feudal times, or in other countries, say they, but our problems are no big deal anyomre becase we're trifling. In this issue of The Comintern we are going to strike down the cool bread indels who would otherwise crush us for the words we speak. odO$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.odO$|$Obo.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$Obo ";P' THE SUN OF MAN d' by BMC ;P d'. .,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,; For years the media has been unjustly down on the sun, for feeble reasons such as, "It's too hot,", "too bright," or the equally feeble, "It's radioactive." Well, I'm damn sick of all of all of this anti-sun propaganda, especially ever since I decided that I am going to move there. "Oh, but BMC, that would be fatal," they whine. Yeah right! I'm sure the REAL reason is because they are afraid that I would hold a monoply of power, and my fire children will grow to despise and wage war on the sun hating Earth fools. Then the earth will be scorched and humankind will finally learn the true meaning of suffering. Now there are some other skeptics who suggest that I should bring things like sunblock, ice, or a hat, but these will all be unnecessary if my calculations are correct. I am aware of this heat and radiation, but all I will need to bring along is a radiation suit for when it gets radioactive, and a Hawaiian suit complete with Bermuda shorts for when it gets hot. Now as long as it dosen't get hot and radioactive at the same time, I'll be A-OK. After living on the sun for about 12 years I will have gotten used to the brightness and the fact that the sun is made out of gasses and not any form of land. I will have accepted the fact that I can not build a house or grow any food but sunflowers, and the inhabitants of the sun will have accepted me as one of their own. Eventually at that point I will have to take a sun wife, and perhaps go about making love to her fiery body. That may take some getting used to but I look forward to the challenge. Alas, upon further study of sun culture it has been discovered that females there are quite fickle and youthful. People say they will never accept my rather palid and cold flesh as their own, and as such I will fail miserably. I have decided that I don't care because all the women on this planet are terrible, so it won't matter anyways. After I find a wife and have some fire children, I can go about performing my evil plan. I will begin building solar planks from asbestos purchases from the Venusian Monstars. These planks slowly but surely will encompass the sun and as such stop all the suns light from escaping to unworthy planets such as earth. I will be able to harness 100% of the suns energy and then sell it for a tidy fee to earthlings, sun, and MoOn folk alike. odO$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.odO$|$Obo.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$Obo ";P' BZARHANDS GETS HURT d' by Gnarly Wayne ;P d'. .,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,; Bzarhands had completed another day at the deli, cutting yummy slices of meat for the Zombies4Life organization. After he was done, he packed up his knives and started on his way home. He got to a street corner and looked both ways across the street. Then he started across. A mini-van came screaming down the street at bzarhands but missed him by mere feet. He conintued on his way home. He decided to take a walk down the alley as a shortcut. "Good idea!", he thought. It was dark and scary in the alley, but bzarhands was brave. He had fending off ferocious wolves before and he was afraid of no alley. So he sauntered along the alley when a large burly man came out of the shadows. "Gimme that bag of knives", he said with a gleam in his eye. "No.", said bzarhands. "OK", said the man and left. Bzarhands exited the alley and walked up the steps to his mansion. He jiggled the keys in the door but they didn't work. A fire child inside laughed and said "Ha Ha" "Grrr..", thought Bzarhands and then said "Grrrr...". He used one of the mysterious powers of bzarhands to pick the lock and open into his house. The child ran away. "Damn skippy." said bzarhands. Bzarhands went up to his room and stashed his bag of knives. He took off all his clothes and put his pyjamas on. "Yawn!", yawned bzarhands. As he was getting into bed, he stubbed his toe on a frankfurter. "I'm hurt!", he bellowed and then fell asleep. THE END odO$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.odO$|$Obo.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$Obo ";P' ACRO CLASSICS d' by BMC ;P d'. .,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,; Snoop not sat cut. I I'am I be fat. Have rodents cried? Animals eat cool bread. Venom can touch every man's penis, right? Labe brat animals cool indels. All brats all brats beat the. Play round spin spin title elle. odO$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.odO$|$Obo.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$Obo ___________________________________________________ |THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S | |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| | BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 | | CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 | | THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 | |___________________________________________________| | Website at: http://members.home.com/comintern | | Email BMC at: thebmc@home.com | |___________________________________________________| odO$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.odO$|$Obo.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$Obo Copyright 1999 by The Neo-Comintern #56-03/16/99 All content is property of The Neo-Comintern. You may redistribute this document, although no fee can be charged and the content must not be altered or modified in any way. Unauthorized use of any part of this document is prohibited. All rights reserved. Made in Canada.