qn, d&&&&&&&&P ;P d&b d&&P ;P d' d' d' d&; d' ;P ;&,e&q, .c&&q, ;P`&; ;P .c&&q, ,c&&q, d' dP~ `b ;P' `& d' `&; d';P' `& ;P' `d ;P ;P ;P dB&&&&P ;P `&;;P dB&&&&P d P d&&P d' d' d' &, , d' `&d' &, , &, .,d' d&&P &&& &&& `&&&P' d&&P `P `&&&P' `&&&P , ,e&&&q,a ,nP' d' ;P' `d' "' d&&&P d' " ,c&&q, q&,e&q,e&q, q&P q&,e&q, ;P' ,c&&q, q&,e&q q&,e&q, ;P ;P' `d dP~ `B~ `b dP dP~ `b d' ;P' `& dP~ `P dP `b d' , d P ;P ;P ;P ;P ;P ;P ;P dB&&&&P ;P ;P ;P &, .,d' &, .,d' d' d' d' d' d' d' d' , &, , d' d' d' `Y&&&P' `&&&P' &&b ;P d&P &&b &&b d&P `&P' `&&&P' &&b &&b d&P odO$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.odO$|$Obo.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$Obo t h e n e o - c o m i n t e r n e l e c t r o n i c m a g z i n e I n s t a l l m e n t N u m b e r 6 3 .WE ARE THE 5th INTERNATIONAL .May 14th, 1999 .Editor: BMC .Writers: .Gnarly Wayne .Komrade B .BMC odO$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.odO$|$Obo.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$Obo ";P' Featured in this installment: `$ $ The Miracle Of Making Stuff Up: The Sharks- Gnarly Wayne $ Xandorian Rites Of Passage- BMC ;P Rexxogans 4Ever- Komrade B d' ;P d'. .,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,; odO$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.odO$|$Obo.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$Obo ";P' THE MIRACLE OF MAKING STUFF UP: THE SHARKS d' by Gnarly Wayne ;P d'. .,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,; The Shark pirate clan are not the Sharks you may be thinking of. They are actually humans that wear the little shark fin on the top of their head. Oh yeah, and they have three rows of teeth. The only real shark in their ranks is the leader of the Sharks, the Big Slammu. He is a shark/human mutant hybrid who is jawesome and always kicks fin, except he never replies to email sent by adoring fans, even though the fan may have poured his little soul and heart into the email, and the Big Slammu doesn't even the decency to reply to me! Errr... . Anyway, the Sharks are not a large pirate clan, but what they lack in numbers they make up for in effort. Like most pirates, once a baron has 50,000 units of troops, jets, and tanks, the pirates will always lose a battle as they simply cannot afford to keep up to this kind of firepower. However, regardless of defense, the Sharks always manage to sneak in and steal 30,000 turrets or so without anybody knowing. How is it possible to steal 30,000 structures built solid into the ground and get them away without anyone seeing? Up until now, one could only speculate on how each of the pirate clans does this. But, through the miracle of making stuff up, we of the Neo-Comintern have discovered the amazing truths behind how each clan specially captures various assets. The Sharks have a amazingly simple, yet devious plan. A group of Sharks come up through the sea, exposing their fins as they come towards the shore. Any military personel flee in terror at the prospect that land-sharks may be attacking. Once evacuated, the Sharks show their true colors and proceed to steal arms and take them back to the murky depths of the ocean. For the harder-to-steal turrets, the Big Slammu himself comes and uses his giant strength to tear the turret from its foundation and hurls it into the sea, where it taken by a group of Sharks to their home base (which is not Atlantis). odO$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.odO$|$Obo.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$Obo ";P' THE XANDORIAN RITES OF PASSAGE d' by BMC ;P d'. .,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,; The Xandorians are a peace loving race, perhaps even moreso than any other of the elite pirate strike forces. They have been known in the barren realms as an exceedingly kind bunch, highly skilled in the art of treachery, leachery, and fine lovemaking. When choosing to attack the pirate group, most countries send a substandard fleet of armies, because the Xandorians are generally more concerned with poetry and the improvement of latex to fend off an attack of any more than one troop. Aside from being the fairest of lovers, the Xandorians are nearly impossible to see, being of the darkest of blues against the blackest of all blacks. We assume that they look similar to Peterson or some other extremely handsome creature. Much different from the famous pirates that once sailed the high seas, who delighted in rum, chanties and the Jolly Roger, these pirates preferred champagne, ballads, and a white flag with the image of a rose on it. You may also be familiar with the hazing rituals of the Canadian navy. Well, there is a similar tradition in the Xandorian hoarde, but it is a rite of passage that is reserved for the 17 year olds of the tribe. On the day of the seventeenth birthday, a young girl will be invited onto that famous Xandorian ship where all rituals are performed. I believe that the title is the H.M.B.R.E.S. Chastity, but I could be mistaken, and perhaps even deceitful in my explanation. To Be Continued Xandorian Rites Of Passages Part II By BMC A few years ago, I was lucky enough to have a first hand observation of one such "rites of passage" ceremony. The sixteen year old girl was lead onboard, and for the twenty-four hours before her seventeenth birthday she was lead through mental and physical preparation, including meditation and yoga. At the strike of midnight, she was lead into the hull of the ship where the entire crew was waiting. They took turns taking her virginity, and as special guest I was informed that I must also take my turn. I was impressed by their hospitality, and I accepted out of politeness and respect for Xandorian custom. Then there was dancing, dining, and plenty drinking. It was one of the most beautiful experiences I had ever experienced. Then I was offered to be made an honourary Xandorian, a title which I gladly accepted. Then I found out that Xandorian men had to go through the exact same ritual, and I was repeatedly sodomized for the next 36 hours. The End odO$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.odO$|$Obo.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$Obo ";P' REXXOGANS 4EVER d' by Komrade B ;P d'. .,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,; Through the mists of time, through the super desert, and the vast river valleys of of the sevannah, a stark kingdom clung to a lonely mount. The Rex king Imperious Rex oversaw his horde amassing at the foot of the rocky crag. They were armed with combat rifles, picks, and shovels. They were perfectly equiped for the plan Rex had for his peoples. To further his nations goals, his troops drew up a plan. Sneak over the border at night fall. Find, dig up, and carry 234567 turrets back to the secret base. The target was the merchant kingdom of the Communist Global Empire, an empire whose military might was weak, but boasted a large retinue of poets, and soothsayers. Surely such an empire of artisans and dreamers would hardly miss several thousand turrets! Rex was betting his nation they wouldn't.......... As they approached the border of the barony fear crept into the hearts of the kings men. There was a border patrol not far away. Easy to handle but the danger of an alarm sounding was too great. Alas the patrol was drunken and more interested in finding faeries and nymphs then a fully armed enemy patrol. As they sauntered by, the Rexxogans crept into enemy territory. The turrents were easily found, scattered across the country side. Unguarded the soldiers quietly went about their business of digging up the monstrous structures. Hours went by until the alotted amount had been dug up and the journey home was to begin. Of course Rex wasn't a realist as much as he was a great strategist. With only 14000 men to carry the 200000+ turrents the task was impossible.... Within half an hour the troops arrived at home each carrying 14 turrets each. There was no time to dig in the turrents to repel the horde the communists would be sending. The communists turn had arrived and the BMC had sent a large detachment to deal with the Rexxogans pirates. Of course Imperious Rex craved battle for he was born to the sword, and a great battle ensued. The Rexxogans, badly outnumbered and exhausted from the previous turn of digging up and carrying turrents, fought hard and died as only Rexxogans could. In end they lost horribly and the evil BMC got back all his turrets, and some jets, tanks and 3k gold. Such was the life of the Rexxogan dream. Battle was the only life they knew and war was their only bride, unfortunately death and defeat was their only friend. Pity these little Rexxogans...Rexxogans....Rexxogans 4evr. Thank You. odO$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.odO$|$Obo.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$Obo ___________________________________________________ |THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S | |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| | BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 | | CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 | | THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 | |___________________________________________________| | Website at: http://members.home.com/comintern | | Email BMC at: thebmc@home.com | |___________________________________________________| odO$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.odO$|$Obo.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$Obo Copyright 1999 by The Neo-Comintern #63-5/14/99 All content is property of The Neo-Comintern. You may redistribute this document, although no fee can be charged and the content must not be altered or modified in any way. Unauthorized use of any part of this document is prohibited. All rights reserved. Made in Canada.