qn, d&&&&&&&&P ;P d&b d&&P ;P d' d' d' d&; d' ;P ;&,e&q, .c&&q, ;P`&; ;P .c&&q, ,c&&q, d' dP~ `b ;P' `& d' `&; d';P' `& ;P' `d ;P ;P ;P dB&&&&P ;P `&;;P dB&&&&P d P d&&P d' d' d' &, , d' `&d' &, , &, .,d' d&&P &&& &&& `&&&P' d&&P `P `&&&P' `&&&P , ,e&&&q,a ,nP' d' ;P' `d' "' d&&&P d' " ,c&&q, q&,e&q,e&q, q&P q&,e&q, ;P' ,c&&q, q&,e&q q&,e&q, ;P ;P' `d dP~ `B~ `b dP dP~ `b d' ;P' `& dP~ `P dP `b d' , d P ;P ;P ;P ;P ;P ;P ;P dB&&&&P ;P ;P ;P &, .,d' &, .,d' d' d' d' d' d' d' d' , &, , d' d' d' `Y&&&P' `&&&P' &&b ;P d&P &&b &&b d&P `&P' `&&&P' &&b &&b d&P odO$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.odO$|$Obo.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$Obo t h e n e o - c o m i n t e r n e l e c t r o n i c m a g z i n e I n s t a l l m e n t N u m b e r 7 1 .WE ARE THE 5th INTERNATIONAL .July 29th, 1999 .Editor: BMC .Writers: .Cog .BMC odO$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.odO$|$Obo.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$Obo ";P' Featured in this installment: `$ $ MASTERBALL!- Cog ;P Some Fucking Dumb Questions- BMC d' ;P d'. .,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,; EDITOR'S NOTE Though we've all been quite busy lately, we somehow found the time to drop another platinum hit. After we did that, we put this shitty issue together. odO$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.odO$|$Obo.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$Obo ";P' MASTERBALL! d' by Cog ;P d'. .,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,; I am the MASTERBALL! Those who have scorned me in the past have paid the price most dear. MASTERBALL! watches. MASTERBALL! knows. MASTERBALL! feels no shame. MASTERBALL! I am the MASTERBALL! I am the he who makes the dark rise. I am he who creates the foul wind. I am he who is... MASTERBALL! I am the MASTERBALL! When you sleep the dark night, I am there. When you theive the secret fires, I am there. When you nurse the dying child, I am... MASTERBALL! I am the MASTERBALL! I am unrecognizable, I am everywhere. I am silent, I am friendly. I am no-one, I am you. I am deadly, I am clean. I am... MASTERBALL! I am the MASTERBALL! I watch shows you don't like. I love thine neighbours' enemies. I... MASTERBALL! I am the MASTERBALL! I star in every movie, I star in every show. I play every instrument, I own a gun. Beware, for I am the... MASTERBALL! | 4/x\ 7\-\3 MASTERBALL! | 4/\/\ 3l337, | 4/\/\ /<-rAd. | 4/\/\ 4 |)|-|0od, | 4/x\ 4 |-|4X0|~. 1 4/\/\ . . . MASTERBALL! Beware The MASTERBALL! odO$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.odO$|$Obo.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$Obo ";P' SOME FUCKING DUMB QUESTIONS d' by BMC ;P d'. .,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,; Hi, I think you sent this to the wrong person... I'm a 21 year old male in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan... I'm not your mom. Nevertheless, I think it would only be fair to answer these questions for you. >>If a man is standing in the middle of the forrest speaking and there is >>no woman around to hear him, Is he still wrong? Well, despite the obvious attempt to make a joke at the expense of mankind, men are not always wrong. In fact, many of the axioms that we live by without question are the discoveries of males. Odd, I know... but if there is any truth in this world, it must be true that men have discovered a portion of it, and thus are not always wrong. >>If a deaf child swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? There are several ways for a parent to discipline a child, including spanking and grounding. If a deaf child swore, it would seem extremely unlikely that a parent would wash their hands as a form of punishment, because this would be an extremely innefective means of punishment. >>If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, >>is it considered a hostage situation? No it would be considered a cry for help. Someone with a serious disorder is contemplating suicide, and now it is up to you to help them. Show some compassion, dammit! >>Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do, "practice?" As is common with many words in the english language, "practice" has several definitions, one of them being "to work at (a profession, etc.)." Wow. There you have it. >>Where do forrest rangers go to get away from it all? Wherever they want. There are plenty of forests in the world other than the ones they work at, but there are also cities, towns, coasts, mountains, deserts, etc. In fact the world is extremely diverse and, amazingly, there are many places to go other than the forest. >>Why isn't there mouse flavoured cat food? This one just sounds ridiculous to me. The idea of mouse flavoured cat food would disgust a lot of buyers, and it would probably fail if put on the shelves. Though it is true that cats eat mice, part of that ritual is the hunt and kill of the mouse. If it were just the flavour of mice it probably wouldn't be so appealing. Who would test this flavour to determine that is tastes the same? Perhaps you are suggesting a cat food made out of mouse-meat, but an interesting fact is that cat food is made out of biproducts of animals, and as such is much more inexpensive to produce than it would be to raise and slaughter mice. It sounds to me like a mouse killfloor would be so disgusting and disease ridden that the plant would be shut down in a very short time. >>What do you do when you are an endangered animal eating an endangered >>plant? Eat, get full, and stop eating. There are no endangered animals that are capable of reflective thought. >>Would a fly without wings be called a walk? Nope. It would be called a fly (without wings). >>Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? I don't know. >>Are they afraid someone might clean them? No. >>Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Because they are mammals, not made entirely of wool, but of flesh and bone with a layer of wool growing out of their bodies. >>How do they get the kangaroos to cross at the yellow road signs? They don't. >>Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? Because it would be dangerous and unsanitary to leave used dirty needles lying around until the next lethal injection. >>Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? In case they hit their heads, causing injury that would have made them unable to serve their missions. What was the best thing before sliced bread? Unsliced bread. Well, I hope I've been able to provide some answers to your questions... if you ever have anything else you would like to ask me, feel free to drop me another line... odO$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.odO$|$Obo.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$Obo ___________________________________________________ |THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S | |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| | BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 | | CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 | | THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 | |___________________________________________________| | Website at: http://members.home.com/comintern | | Email BMC at: thebmc@home.com | |___________________________________________________| odO$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.odO$|$Obo.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$Obo Copyright 1999 by The Neo-Comintern #71-07/29/99 All content is property of The Neo-Comintern. You may redistribute this document, although no fee can be charged and the content must not be altered or modified in any way. Unauthorized use of any part of this document is prohibited. All rights reserved. Made in Canada.