___________ __ _______ \__ ___/| |__ ____ \ \ ____ ____ | | | | \_/ __ \ / | \_/ __ \/ _ \ ______ | | | Y \ ___/ / | \ ___( <_> ) /_____/ |____| |___| /\___ > \____|__ /\___ >____/ \/ \/ \/ \/ _________ __ __ \_ ___ \ ____ _____ |__| _____/ |_ ___________ ____ / \ \/ / _ \ / \| |/ \ __\/ __ \_ __ \/ \ \ \___( <_> ) Y Y \ | | \ | \ ___/| | \/ | \ \______ /\____/|__|_| /__|___| /__| \___ >__| |___| / \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ .......... ......... ........ ....... ...... ..... .... ... .. . . . . . . . . .. ... .... ..... ...... ....... ........ ......... .......... t h e n e o - c o m i n t e r n e l e c t r o n i c m a g z i n e I n s t a l l m e n t N u m b e r 1 4 9 We Are the New International April 8th, 2001 Editor: BMC Writers: xWillx Heckat Junior Haagis Cog Gnarly Wayne BMC d""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""b. ;P Featured in this installment .b $ $ $ The N.A.P.A.L.M Manifesto - xWillx $ $ Hello? - Heckat $ $ A Vignette - Junior Haagis $ $ Does No Words Count? - Cog $ $ What Can Be Said? - Gnarly Wayne $ $ Tha Appl uv 'Iz Eye - BMC $ `q p' `nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn' EDITOR'S NOTE (please do not read the following) Welcome to yet another Neo-Comintern official theme issue. This week's articles are all 0000000 000000000 000000000 0::::::0 00:::::::::00 00:::::::::00 0:::::::0 00:::::::::::::00 00:::::::::::::00 000:::::0 0:::::::000:::::::00:::::::000:::::::0 0::::0 0::::::0 0::::::00::::::0 0::::::0 0::::0 0:::::0 0:::::00:::::0 0:::::0 0::::0 0:::::0 0:::::00:::::0 0:::::0 0::::0 0:::::0 000 0:::::00:::::0 000 0:::::0 0::::0 0:::::0 000 0:::::00:::::0 000 0:::::0 0::::0 0:::::0 0:::::00:::::0 0:::::0 0::::0 0:::::0 0:::::00:::::0 0:::::0 0::::0 0::::::0 0::::::00::::::0 0::::::0 000::::::0000:::::::000:::::::00:::::::000:::::::0 0::::::::::0 00:::::::::::::00 00:::::::::::::00 0::::::::::0 00:::::::::00 00:::::::::00 000000000000 000000000 000000000 words or less as a late celebration of our 100th spectacular Neo-Comintern issue. Enjoy! d""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""b. ;P THE N.A.P.A.L.M. MANIFESTO .b `q by xWillx p' `nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn' North American People's Anthropophagous Liberation Militia (N.A.P.A.L.M) is essentially all about cannibalism... and of course... tha Kidz. Being into psychic warfare and misinformation I must spread my seed far and wide, across this great beauty known as the Internet. Unlike that toothless mistress, the outside world! NAPALM's manifesto includes these dastardly deeds: 1. The destruction of all Rotarians (Elk's Club, Masons..) 2. John Smith's legacy destroyed, and his church of Mormon. 3. Assassination of World Dictator Fred Phelps 4. The subsequent digging of a shallow grave Which Fred Phelps will be buried in, head down. So his soul cannot escape. d""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""b. ;P HELLO? .b `q by Heckat p' `nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn' This is your infinite address speaking and I mean to tell you that something profound is about to happen to you. . . *here insert the sound of two hearts beating* molecules whizz by your snoring intellect while you wait to answer the call of destiny two eggs are lying hard-boiled under the running tap time's up look under the bed to see what you've won (no valentine card can make up for this, son, nothing can help you now) *notice: your cat seems pleasantly surprised by your lack of initiative and offers to share her supper with you* -click- d""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""b. ;P A VIGNETTE - MIGRATION PATTERNS OF THE MYOPIA TURTLE .b `q by Junior Haagis p' `nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn' A speckled, soft-shelled frolicker of the Pacific coast, the Myopious Tortoirisius migrates to more questionable climates almost every other year in search of shelter from the harsher elements of the Southern California beaches. It's peculiar erect running style can gain the average Myopia speeds up to 23 mph. But it is its erratic behavior coupled with its speed and agility that make it difficult to ascertain if the creature is in fact migrating or whether it's reached a state of dementia brought on by parachatilianitus; a brain disorder common amongst most adult Myopia Tortoises. d""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""b. ;P DOES NO WORDS COUNT? .b `q by Cog p' `nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn' d""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""b. ;P WHAT CAN BE SAID? .b `q by Gnarly Wayne p' `nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn' What can be said about articles that are less than 100 words? Well, they are a testimony to the greatness of the writer, that is for sure. Where normal authors may require an entire novel to get a single idea or concept across, we of the less than 100 words clan must make our profound statement in much less space. You maybe thinking "Pfft, ya right, Waaaaayne, nothing you written has ever been profound or even enjoyable." Maybe so, but I have never written an article under 100 words either. Here goes What's the future of Neo-Comintern? Neo-Comintern gotta d""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""b. ;P THA APPL UV 'IZ EYE .b `q by BMC p' `nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn' a un act play in two seens Unce a'pon a tym thar wuz this guy whut wanded a big red apple cuz he wuz hungry. Cuddnt 'ave one tho he cuddnt, no madder 'ow 'e tride. Tha End .d&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&b. ___________________________________________________ |THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S | |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| | TWILIGHT ZONE (905) 432-7667 | | BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 | | CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 | | THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 | |___________________________________________________| | Website at: http://members.home.com/comintern | | Email BMC at: thebmc@home.com | |___________________________________________________| .d&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&b. Copyright 2001 by The Neo-Comintern #149-04/08/01 All content is property of The Neo-Comintern. You may redistribute this document, although no fee can be charged and the content must not be altered or modified in any way. Unauthorized use of any part of this document is prohibited. All rights reserved. Made in Canada.