_ _ _ ____. _ _ ____. ____ FJ_ FJ L] F___ J F L L] F ___J F __ ] J _| J |__| L '-__| L J \| L J |___: J |--| L ______ | |-' | __ | |__ ( | |\ | | _____| | | | | |______| F |__-. F L__J J .-____] J F L\\ J F L____: F L__J J L______J \_____/J__L J__LJ\______/F J__L \\__LJ________LJ\______/F J_____F|__L J__| J______F |__L J__||________| J______F ___ ____ __ __ __ _ _ ____ ____. _ _ ,"___". F _ ] F \/ ] / J F L L] F___ ] F___ J _ ___ F L L] FJ---L] J |/ | L J |\__/| L LFJ J \| L'--7 / '-__| L J '__ ",J \| L J | LJ | | /| | | |'--'| | J L | |\ | / // |__ ( | |__|-J| |\ | | \___--. F /_J J F L J J J L F L\\ J J L.-____] J F L '-'F L\\ J J\_____/FJ\______/FJ__L J__LJ__LJ__L \\__LJ__LJ\______/FJ__L J__L \\__L J_____F J______F |__L J__||__||__L J__||__| J______F |__L |__L J__| -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- t h e n e o - c o m i n t e r n e l e c t r o n i c m a g z i n e I n s t a l l m e n t N u m b e r 1 7 5 We Are the New International October 29th, 2001 Editor: BMC Writers: Reuban O'Neill d""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""b. ;P Featured in this installment .b $ $ $ The Reuban O'Neill Process - Reuban O'Neill $ `q p' `nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn' EDITOR'S NOTE (please do not read the following) The following article is transcribed from a small book that was discovered in my Grandmother's attic. The book had no publisher name or publishing date on it, but I am very interested in learning more about it. The Reuban O'Neill Process does not seem to be mentioned anyplace on the Internet, in any critical journals, or in any microfilm directories. If anyone knows anything further about this book, please let me know - I am very interested in doing further research on O'Neill and his extremely bizarre notions. d""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""b. ;P THE REUBAN O'NEILL PROCESS .b `q by Reuban O'Neill p' `nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn' Author's Solicitation By Reuban O'Neill Human Beings are socialized to conceptualize The World as being stratified in one way or another, with Themselves and Their Group on One Side (1) and The Others on the Opposing Side (2). With Situation severe and distance between Factions growing rapidly, the ideal of Global Community appears to be a Lost Cause. In a Last Ditch attempt to save The World, a Young Brave steps forth with a Pamphlet aptly entitled The Reuban O'Neill Process. This Tract explicitly states that, if The World cannot abide to be Moral, The World should follow the current Trend of Immorality until a Circular Path is traveled and Humankind ends up in an Original Moral Position as existed in Eden. Can the Solution be Implemented? Foreword Upon reading the scriptures of Reuban O'Neill, I must say I was completely and totally fascinated with the concepts detailed within. This was quickly followed by a feeling of intense nausea. Nausea is caused when parts of your body, both exterior and interior, are exposed to something vile and poisonous. The said body part sends a little impulse of a message to the cranium, where the brain resides and hangs out. The brain processes this message and then commands other areas of the body to react in a just and appropriate manner. For me, this was vomiting continuously for no less than three hours. One kidney and two livers later, I had expelled all that had been infected. Knowing full well that reading past the second paragraph would spell certain doom for me, I took it upon myself to let others read it parts of it and give me feedback on it. Here are some of the things they had to say: "Yeah, right." - Robert Pizzanio "It's just the stupidest thing ever." - Morley Hoek "You've stolen my soul." - Jonathon Caine I could not glean any more useful information from them, but I knew what I had was something terrible and quite possibly the bringer of Armageddon. I can only hope that it is never released in a small, easy-to-read booklet of some type, for surely it will mean the end of civilization as we know it. -Sir Charles Monteray Dedication By Reuban O'Neill This manual is humbly dedicated to the critics, whom I beg not to flay me alive for not being as talented a writer as themselves. My most sincere hope is that they will share their divine wisdom with me to provide proper guidance for my work. Secondarily, I would like to dedicate this manual to all human beings and their collective cause. The Reuban O'Neill Process: It has oft been said that there is a distance between certain types of human beings - a lack of understanding, if you will. Due to this ignorance, the human cause becomes susceptible to certain stratifications including (but not limited to) warring political factions, antagonism between families, religious persecution, segregation of ethnicities, high school football rivalries, the economic and social class system, sexual and sexuality-based descrimination, the predetermination of caste as determined by birthline, &C. Now far be me from one who proffers to support either side of any of these aforementioned disputes, so I beg, if you belong to any specific culture, social or economic class, school, club, job, religion, gender, or any other form of organization that partakes in any sort of socialization (and therefore biasing of a latent or manifest type, but let us not bicker on the topic of which), that you should not read the following message, for in the wrong hands it could be used for the purposes of effecting a greater sort of brainwashing rather than I have intended: for it to be read and implemented by the pure of heart in order to achieve a higher understanding of our fellow animals and the bizarre situations that condition us to understate, misunderstand, distrust, and tease one another. Far be it for me to moralize, but I am speaking unselfishly and of a matter that will benefit humankind (in fact, all wonderful animals and not specifically or preferentially the human animals). So listen carefully to my instructions, follow my words, and I promise you a solution to all of the problems of the world's animals (and, in fact, plants as well). The significance of this message's effect on all animals and plants (and within the group of "animals and plants" I intend to include creatures composed of prokaryotic OR eukaryotic cells (yes, even molds and bacterium)), as I have stated previously, is that we will gain a full understanding of the world through this process that I, with all due humbleness, feel must be entitled The Reuban O'Neill Process. Now, like The Pretenders, don't get me wrong about this, but I think The Reuban O'Neill Process is an aptly suited name. Wonder, for a moment, how irresponsible it would be for me to create a process with no name! It would be impossible for the masses to differentiate it from other processes. On top of that, if you learned and loved this process it would be impossible for you to discuss it with others because it would be a generic process and it would be impossible to call it by name! Imagine what it would be like if an apple had no name! If you hungered for an apple you would be unable to request one, rather you would turn to the grocer and ask them (it could be a female grocer or a male one) whether they had any fruit. They would respond by telling you that they had three hundred kinds of fruit and ask you to be more specific. You would say that it is a fruit with seeds, and although this would narrow it down considerably, you would be left with three hundreds of kinds to choose from and your grocer would still have no clue as to what you wanted. Then you would say that it has a peel and this would help the grocer no more. Then you would tell the grocer that the fruit has a skin and this would also help no more. You would say that it crunches when you bite it and, although this would help narrow it down a little bit, you would still have three hundred fruits to choose from. After several hours of doing this, your grocer would become extremely angry with you and lead you down every aisle until you spotted the apple of your eye. Then the grocer would say, "This is called an apple, you stupid fool," and you would feel silly for not having known such a simple thing in the first place. I believe that the world will feel the same way upon the realization of the simplicity of, and the potential to execute, The Reuban O'Neill Process! Now, for the thoughtful reader, I must fer back to the previous argument, or, in other words, I shall refer to the prior description of the circumstances of the difficulty of having things exist without names. Firstly, if there were no names for factions, people of certain groups would have no way to define themselves. Males would no longer imagine themselves Men, children would no longer be Kids, religious people would lack the ability to name their Gods, and countries at war would have no idea whom to Attack. It is clear to me that such names are useful tools and must exist for all time for the betterment of all living (and possibly certain non-living) things, and this rational reasonability brings us to the core of my argument, for the limited use of names in society is what I feel is the core of all problems in all countries, uncharted territories, and bodies of water of the Earth and other planets with living and non-living creatures. The problem with various stratificationism is that we, the stratified, lack an in-depth understanding about the lives of other commons of opposing factions. So here and now, in my hour of lust and sorrow, I plan to give to you the seed to sew in others to create a forest of peace and understanding. Brace thyself. [hiatus in manuscript, two pages] ..and as such, I have begun our collective uphill climb to enlightenment. I have initiated this process by boldly writing the first story of the series, the which shall be published upon a time in the near future. Story one, as all stories in this collection, will consist of a first person, in-depth description of a typical day (in this case, of mine), written in exquisite detail, naming all sights captured by the eye, all sounds heard by the ear, all scents, sensations, &C. Although this may seem a simple task, I assure you that it is no simple matter. Observe here an excerpt from my story that details a brief moment at the dinner table. * * * My mind was elsewhere as I masticated the salad, and to my regret I cannot consciously conceptualize what it was that I was thinking at that time. I stared into space, somewhere between awake and asleep, conscious, but unthinking. Suddenly - the thought leapt into my head that it was time for me to take another forkload of salad from the plate into my mouth and eat it, for this is how human beings acquire energy and I must continue to eat to live, although I admit that sometimes eating seems to be more of a habit, what with the junk foods and the unnecessary snacking. I pushed that thought from my mind, it is a concept that may be better left in the subconscious, or know-how knowledge. The motor-skills area of my brain kicked in as the muscles in my shoulder, bicep, tricep, and forearm all contracted and expanded in the way in which muscles need to bend in order to scoop food from the plate. The muscles in my hand and specifically in my fingers continued their grip on the fork as this happened. Again, note my apology at lack of understanding of the way muscles work. I was not thinking about this at the time, mind you, but I am at present pressed with an uncertainty of which muscles contract and which expand in order to lower a fork to a plate. As this fork-lowering happened, my heart continued to beat and blood circulated through my body at the same rate as usual [note to self: detail is not fine enough. Research muscle contraction and blood circulation and heart rate for next revision] and I felt as I normally do when eating supper with few differences but that I was sitting in a monastery with Judy and the iced tea that I had poured myself a glass of was particularly interesting, not quite like any iced tea I had drank prior or since - not particularly tasting poorer or more well, simply interesting. I scooped up a forkful of salad with my metal fork, never quite conscious of what that particular forkful consisted of, but I believe that it was a just combination of cabbage, sliced almonds, ramen noodles, sunflower seeds, and all of the other ingredients that I had previously noted [Note to reader: although the previous notation of the consistency of the salad is in much greater detail in the full edition of this story that details an entire day of mine from waking to sleeping, for brevity's sake this excerpt does not contain any information additional to what is required to convey a complete sense of understanding of the detail of this story to the regular reader.] Then my neural impulses functioned to shift my eyes down at the fork and its load to see that it was satisfactory. As the light reflected off of the food, my optic nerves signaled the word to my brain, and before you know it, the train of sensory input had run its course and my brain was delighted with the amount of food on the fork. Shortly thereafter, my arm was signaled to lift the fork, and this occurred in much the same way as I had lowered the fork, using shoulder, bicep, tricep and forearm, still clutching the fork with hand, specifically thumb, index, and middle fingers, except this time, all of the muscles operated in the opposite way they previously had, some relaxing and some contracting, but nothing like lowering the arm had been. As I prepared to chew the food I began to salivate wildly. I turned the fork toward myself and released the food into my mouth. Upon its entry into the mouth, I found the food to be tangy and different tastebud groups in my mouth appreciated that in different ways. I closed my mouth, thereby biting the food. There was an interesting sensation. I had bit something crisp - the cabbage. I opened my mouth. I closed my mouth again, a repeated process of opening and closing that we refer to as chewing, and this time I detected something that was crunchy! - the noodles. I was in the process of opening my mouth once again when I suddenly decided that I wanted another glass of iced tea because I had finished my previous glass of iced tea twelve forkfuls of salad prior [Note to reader: this, of course, is explicitly detailed in the full story], so I decided that I would go into the other room to get some. [Note to reader: for the sake of brevity I will omit several hundred more words detailing the chewing process that led up to the swallowing of the food and progress forthwith to the events following that particular stage of digestion] I swallowed the food, feeling it expand my esophagus and go into my stomach. Since I have detailed my digestive process sixty-seven times so far through the course of this story I will, again for the sake of brevity, forego explicit detail of the digestive process in this single instance, as surely we all know well that, as the wise gentleman said, "Brevity is the sole of wit," so I wish no further to distract your honourable readership from examining the... Umm, Ahem. I looked down at the glass on the cafeteria-style oaken table. The glass was made of transparent glass - sand heated at a high temperature - and was able to contain approximately 300ml of liquid. The glass was cylindrical in shape and appeared clean except for the small amount of iced tea I had allowed to settle at the bottom of it. I prepared to stand up, looking around the 20m by 7m room. Suddenly I had the urge to look at all of the art in the room, the which I will now describe in fine detail. * * * As you see, there is a great amount of detail involved in describing the events of five seconds spent at the dinner table. [Note to reader: Please bear in mind that this excerpt is still in its draft stages and will eventually bear more detail such as the ticking of each second, the dimensions of every room, the mass of each object and the spectrum of light that refracted off of every object that was shown unto me. Also, the point where I noted my observance of Judy will be appended with a brief physical and psychological description as well as a detailed biography of that individual.] For the reader's information, I will allow it to be known that the story of this entire day in its full form is approximately fifteen hundred pages long and, as a side note, it is currently being prepared by me for release as a chapbook that will be sent to publishers around the world as a sample of the upcoming collection of stories that I propose be published. Now let me speak at some length about the multi-volumed set of books. The first story details one complete daily account of the life of one person, and this story opens the minds of readers, removing prejudices about this person, &C., and gives the reading audience the feeling of sympathetic realization of the existence of this other passionate, individualistic person. The next step is creating one such story for every human being that lives. If everybody, for instance, writes about what they did on March 28th, 2001, then we will have a full sociological understanding about how our society functions in every way. Sociologists will be obsolete - this will be of benefit to everyone, including the sociologists, who will all retire with full pensions. On top of this, we human beings will attain a higher consciousness by pooling all of the knowledge we can think of in one day. Shortly, one publishing house will pick up on my idea and we can produce the sizeable collection that contains all six billion tales. The next step is for us humans to take up some of the slack we've let go for all of these years since Adam named the animals and write a "day in the life" of every animal, every plant, in fact every rock on Earth. Indeed, it is crucial that every and only every thing containing molecules should be written about, and I see no reason to stop there. Why not write about every molecule too? It may seem a daunting task at current, but if we gear society toward it we will come to a greater sense of the world we live in. But since we'll then have the cornerstone on knowledge, why should we stop there? The simple answer is, "For no reason imaginable." After we have written about a day in the life of every human, animal, mineral, plant, and molecule, we will have knowledge of a day from morning to night of the entire planet and then we can begin to expand to other planets, each of which will require a separate anthology for its own promotion and understanding through communication. It's the perfect, yet strangely hereto unrealized solution! This set of stories could easily replace the current canon of literature, as well as all other subjects, since all of that information must certainly be included in the daily thoughts of someone or something. We will know more about blades of grass and pebbles of sand and molecules of air than we ever thought we could! And where would this bring us to? No less than omniscience, my very good friend! Can you imagine a world without misunderstanding, distrust, or ignorance? This is my vision of a world where We write the books, print the books, and read the books. Through classification we will continue to divide, separate, segregate, and discriminate, but we will do it to such an extent that every person (nay, every molecule) will be discriminated against equally, thereby putting all persons, places, and non-sequitor things on an equal level with each other. And thus, having solved all of the world's problems (and perhaps the problems of other unrecognized worlds), I bid a fond Adieu. .d&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&b. ___________________________________________________ |THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S | |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| | TWILIGHT ZONE (905) 432-7667 | | BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 | | CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 | | THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 | |___________________________________________________| | Website at: http://members.home.com/comintern | | Questions? Comments? Submissions? | | Email BMC at: thebmc@home.com | |___________________________________________________| .d&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&b. Copyright 2001 by The Neo-Comintern #175-10/29/01 All content is property of The Neo-Comintern. You may redistribute this document, although no fee can be charged and the content must not be altered or modified in any way. Unauthorized use of any part of this document is prohibited. All rights reserved. Made in Canada.