- - - - -- -------===========================------- -- - - - - cccccc, ccccc, cccccccccccc, ?$$$$$$$$$$, ,ccc, ,cc :`$$$$$$bc :`$$$$c ::`$$$$$$$$$$$$c`:"$$$$????$$b "$$$$c, `$$h `:`$$$$$$$$c,:`$$$$h `:: ?$$$b :::;$$h`:`?$$$,::`$$b `$$$$$$c, ?$$$c ``:`$$$$$$$$$$,`$$$$c ..,,,:"$$$b `:::` `:"$$$b :`?$B,:"$$$$$$$$$$?$b `::`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$h:"$$$$c:`$$$b `:`?$$$c`:`$$b:`?$$b."?$$:`?$. `::`$$$$$$P?$$$$$$$$c:`????":`?$$b. ,?$$.`:?$$$h.;,?$$;:"$$$,`:"`:`$$ `::`$$$$$$.`"$$$$$$$h::`` :::"$$$, .,:d$$b`:`?$$$$$$$$$;``?$Fb `:` `::`$$$$$$.` "?$$$$$c, `:::"$$$$$$$$$$$$$.:.?????""";` `:::` `::`$$$$$$ `::"?$$$h. `:::`?@$$$000P?"' : :::::''` `::`$$$$$b `::`?$$c, ::: ""'''';,,:` `::`$$$$$b `::`;" ` ;;;:''' t h e `::,????), `::' n e o - c o m i n t e r n `::::::` e l e c t r o n i c m a g a z i n e n e o - c o m i n t e r n . c o m - - - - -- -------===========================------- -- - - - - s u b v e r s i v e l i t e r a t u r e f o r s u b v e r t e d p e o p l e n o v e m b e r 4 t h , 2 0 0 1 e d i t o r - b m c - - - - ----==={ I N S T A L L M E N T 1 7 6 }===---- - - - - w r i t e r s : s p i t e m a r g a r i n a c a t a c l y s m a c o g b m c - - - - ----==={ F E A T U R E S }===---- - - - - Guest editor's note by Cog The Dirty Streets of Saskatoon by BMC Cats by Spite Margarina Cataclysma's Advice Column by Margarina Cataclysma - - - - -- -------===========================------- -- - - - - e d i t o r ' s n o t e - - - - ---===={guest editor's note by Cog}===--- -- - - - - How's this for tricks, hey? Look at this smooth new ride -- our own dot-com address on a real server! I think that's some pretty big news, possibly the biggest since we started (even taking into account the death of Komrade B). I mean, what's the death of a Komrade compared to a slick new website address? Old news, that's what. And while we're on the subject of old news, I think that this is an especially fitting time to take a look back at what has happened in the history of the early days of this whole controlled mess. Originally launched as a BBS-based magazine, the original "Comintern" (as it was called then) started as a fairly straight-laced periodical focusing on serious political thought. A few issues into the run, Komrade B came on board and his incomprehensible writing style destroyed all hope of a serious attempt at anything. I mean, you can't really have an in-depth essay about Lenin's activities in 1919 next to an article about Street Rod 2, can you? "The Comintern" began its run on May 24, 1995, and eventually ceased publication on October 29th, 1995. Thankfully it didn't stop production until after my favourite article from that era was published (My Trip To Alberta, Land of the Fascist, by The BoSS MC - originally published in "The Comintern" #9, reprinted in "The Neo-Comintern" installment 13). Then, in early 1998 (Holy shit! Almost four years ago!), BMC decided to start the clockwork up again. You see, he was working in a mill, and probably needed some sort of creative outlet other than edgebanding. The Comintern was re-launched as The Neo-Comintern, now an internet-based magazine. The original website was very similar to what you see today, except for the fact that it looked horrible -- just yellow text on a red background. Actually, the only similarity is that you could read the magazine online. Things continued that way until I volunteered my visual talents to the project. BMC and I designed a page on a coffee napkin that gave The Neo-Comintern the treatment that was needed. It must have impressed the 4 people per week that saw it, because they kept coming back. Later we found out that it was just hits resulting from BMC, Komrade B, Wayne and myself viewing the page. Soon we decided to publish a print version of the magazine. The magazine wasn't for the purpose of making money, but was envisioned as a promotional tool for the website. How's that for different, hey? Making people pay for the advertising to a free website? Love it! (And, once again I was drafted to re-design the website) Now, there's an ironic twist to this bit. At that time, we were using a URL-redirection service to bring people to the page. You would type in "http://ncom.base.org" rather than the nasty "http://www.sfn.saskatoon.sk.ca/~ad357" and the service would slide you over to our page. Good idea, right? We thought so, too. That's why we emblazoned the shorter address on the bottom of every page of the print magazine. Ha ha -- guess what happened the day we printed 200 copies? Monolith, the redirection company, went bankrupt. The address we paid to have advertised in 200 copies of a magazine we busted our asses on for a couple months had vanished, and visitors got a blank page. Funny as fuck, what do you say? Still, the hits to the website slowly started to rise, thanks in no small part to the ads that BMC and I posted all around the local university. As a matter of fact, we haven't done that for awhile... we should -- it's kinda fun. At first. The page was now being redirected from an address on another magazine's page for a short time (http://www.yip.org/ncom), until in early 1999 we moved to the space provided by mega-giant high-speed internet provider @Home. Of course, the site was re-designed yet again. At this point in The Neo-Comintern's history, we started seeing articles by writers who weren't us under pseudonyms or STUYA. Junior Haagis (with whom I watched a bunch of Father Ted episodes last night) joined during this era, and he's still here. Margarina Cataclysma came onboard about a year later. We've also been picking up strays along the way. And we lost one, too. Komrade B sadly passed away on November 5, 1999 (exactly 44 years since Doc Brown discovered time travel), and we and we did in his death something we never would have considered during his life. We dedicated a very special issue to him. I'm told that's it's always tough losing someone, but after a couple of weeks we didn't even notice he was gone. Even now, I'm not the least bit depressed writing about his tragic end. To tell you the truth, I'm laughing -- because I'm here and he's not, and I get to see this next phase in the magazine and he doesn't. Also, I get to live, and he doesn't (because he died). That brings us to the year 2000 -- a little closer to the present, and a little fresher in the minds of most of you. In fact, I would imagine that most of you reading this were with us in that period. I wasn't, really. It would seem I wasn't too active during that period. But I have popped up every 20 installments or so with a real corker! So, what's happened recently? Well, @Home went bankrupt and prompted us to move to our own domain and server. We picked up Heckat and others, and continue to bring you the finest in literature. And issue 5 of the print magazine is nearing completion. Also, we now have literally hundreds of people reading our new releases every week! So do yourself a favour and read over the first 175 installments if you haven't already; it's writing from the simpler days of The Neo-Comintern -- starting with four guys who would get drunk n' high and write (sometimes all at once) about video games, alcohol, politics, and work (sometimes all at once), and ending with Reuban O'Neill bidding a fond Adieu. Also, make sure you pay special attention to my work and familiarize yourself with it, as I feel like I should be writing again. So it looks like we'll all see alot more of each other in the times ahead. We definitely appreciate your readership, and hope that it continues as long as we do. 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The N-Com stole our logo!" -Beast - - - - -- -------===========================------- -- - - - - THE DIRTY STREETS OF SASKATOON - - - - -- -------========={by BMC}==========------- -- - - - - Walking down our famous streets of 8th, 20th, 22nd, and 33rd, one sees an inch-thick layer of filthy gravel covering selected parts of the sidewalk system. This is a wonderful addition to daily life, especially for the gourmet pedestrian who considers firm footing a nuisance, and cannot stand having clean shoes. I have been told of visitors from other towns who are unable to adapt to this superior method of travel, but I think they should all leave and go far away to some uncomfortably clean and vegetation-infested ecosystem. Saskatoon winter lasts about 14 months. If you stumble and bumble into our nice, dirty town at the wrong time of year, you will be met with a blend of scowls and general disinterest. You may think this is because you're an outsider and the locals consider you to be inferior, ugly, and in poor taste. Although it is true that as a non-Saskatoonian you'll never be accepted here, you're not the cause of their anger - not today, anyway. They're just mad because their beautiful, dirty city is covered by a ghastly layer of snow that disguises it in a veil of innocence. Goodbye, filth. Goodbye, dirt. Goodbye for another lonely, dirtless winter. We'll all miss you. Even me. After waiting patiently through what seems to be years of winter into the next global melting age, Saskatoon people are again blessed by the appearance of their city as the snow melts, creating a muddy, slimy, familiar Saskatoon City that we all know and love. The diseased gravel and insect-infested dust mingle with the wet - and this foreign fluid splashes cars, the saltdirt corroding some poorly-scheduled new paint job within minutes. The lawnsnow evaporates in time with the erosion of the ice-riverbed which crumbles in shards and is carried down the human-waste-polluted river. And we love our city as a cockroach loves its shell - no matter how filthy and unsightly, it is home. We're here and that means we are strong. We can survive the less-than-ideal and that makes us proud. We can put up with living conditions that most people would sacrifice their lives in order not to endure. We do it. We live in hell because it feels good to be a shining example of natural selection. But at the same time, we look at our city's ghettoes and say, "I'd never live in a rat-fucking-shit-hole like that," and a sad discrepancy in ideals peers at us with its ignorant eyes. During the "spring" melt, when the polluted mud is waist high and unwadeable except for those with SUVs, there's nothing for the rest of us to do but wait for the city to dry out so we can enjoy our rightful share of it. As we wait for the chinook that will bring winds of favour and prosperity, television is officially declared god, and beer is the prescription for poverty-related illness. Suddenly - one day there is a line-up at the Co-op car wash, and that means that summer - our time to REALLY live - has finally come. The months of dreaming about living the good life have finally come to a close and for the next thirty days we are going to try to enjoy the hell out of this season, not realizing until later that the summer is never quite as hot as you expect it to be, not as calm or free, careless, lazy or productive. After sitting in front of the television for six sweat soaking hours, it is time to take your love on a fine summer date. It shall consist of a walk to the local seven eleven to buy two large slurpees. And as you walk you reach into your pocket. 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I'd recommend it to both my dope dealer and my teenaged daughter." -Wolverine - - - - -- -------===========================------- -- - - - - The Neo-Comintern Magazine / Online Magazine is seeking submissions. Unpublished stories and articles of an unusual, experimental, or anti-capitalist nature are wanted. Contributors are encouraged to submit works incorporating any or all of the following: Musings, Delvings into Philosophy, Flights of Fancy, Freefall Selections, and Tales of General Mirth. The more creative and astray from the norm, the better. For examples of typical Neo-Comintern writing, see our website at . Submissions of 25-4000 words are wanted; the average article length is approximately 200-1000 words. Send submissions via email attachment to , or through ICQ to #29981964. 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