NORWEGIAN
                                U N D E R G R O U N D

                               aN eLECTRONIC nEWSPAPER
                               Issue 6, 22. May 2002

                              Brought to you by Acidous


                      *** DISCLAIMER ***
I, Acidous, take no responsibility for actions
caused by this paper. If you get caught doing something, it's your
own damn fault. Sorry, it's just I can't allow myself to get
in trouble for your actions.


How To Be Mentally Retarded:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Being mentally retarded can help you out of many different
situations. If you are caught doing a little crime at a
mall, theme park, etc. you may act like you are mentally
retarded to get out of your little situation.

People may think pretending to be mentally retarded is easy,
but then they are wrong. Acting good enough to get out
of any situation takes time and practice. With enough
practice, you might be able to convince even the most
speciallized experts.

Anyway, here's how it is done.
If you see a mentally retarded person on the television,
on the streets, or anywhere else, do NOT try to copy their
moves. Almost every mentally retarded person has his own
way of acting, so therefore, taking someone you see on the
television is a rather bad idea.

LOCKED AGE
Being locked in an specific age is a real hit. Little kids
often doesn't understand why they are not allowed to do
certain things. Check out how 6-8 year olds act.
Study what makes them go mad and what they say.
Practice and show it to a friend and see what he thinks.
IF you think you are good enough, go out on the street and
walk over to a randomly picked woman(above 22 years old).
Pretend that you are mentally retarded with a locked age.
Ask where your mommy is, and start to cry if she does
not want to help you. Hold her jacket if she tries to walk
away from you.

DUMBASS
People with very low IQ get stampled mentally retarded.
This is also very good to use. If you can't read, then
you can't read "AUTHORIZED PERSONEL ONLY"  signs.
You may not be able to get what other people tell you,
and you may have bursts of hatred and fighting against people
who pick on you, or make fun of you.
Try talking sloppy. Using words as "mommy", "poo", and so
on. Be very easily disturbed by other objects and people in
a room, especially when someone is trying to tell you
something(eg. if you spot a fly in the room, try to follow the
fly with your eyes, but also let your whole head follow).
Start playing with stuff in the room.
Easily start to cry. Talk to randomized selected strangers
on the street. Have big problems choosing between two simple
things. Also have big problems solving puzzles normal people
would be able to do in a couple of seconds. Make it seem
like you get very easily attached to strangers that you
meet.


Self-Defence:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Self-defence could in many situations prove very useful.
Since many courses costs a shitload of money, and you
don't have the time to go to them, here's an easy
guide on how to defend yourself in an emergency.
I may add that all these methods may not work against
all opponents in all situations. You must have to judge
from the situation and what you know about your opponent.
I do not know the names of all the moves I have in these
instructions, but I have put some names that fit on them.
Also note that this section does NOT explain how to kill
someone.


THE BASIC POSITION
The Basic Position is the position you will most often stand
in when being attacked. It is with the left foot pointing away
from your body, and the right foot pointing upwards.
Also bend the knees a bit.

[Illustration](or at least an attempt to make an illustration)

                   Ooooo
                   \   /
   <====            )  |
                    \__/

Explanation:
The Arrow is your left foot. And it is supposed to point
the the same direction as the arrow does.
That other thing to the right is your right foot.
And it is supposed to point that way.

EASY METHODS:
BACKWARDS ELBOW BLOW
While standing in the Basic Position, bend your arm
so that it makes a pointing end at the elbow.
Then thrust your arm backwards agains the attacker.
Try try to hit his/hers nose, which is a very voulnerable
area in the face.

FAKE FACE
Use your left arm and hit against your attackers face, he
will probably try to protect his face. While he has his guard
in his upper parts of the body, hit him as hard as you can
in the middle of the stomach. This will make him crouch together
and you will have time to escape.

NECK AND STOMACH ATTACK
First pretend to hit the attacker in the face, then hit him in
the stomach, as he crouches down, grab his neck, from the front,
and push him into a wall(if there is any), then give multiple
hits to his stomach.

HARD METHODS:
STOMACH THROW
Grab the attacker in both arms alomst up by the shoulders.
Lean swiftly backwards, still holding his arms, put your foot
up so that it hits him/her in the stomach, then use the speed
you got while leaning back to throw him/her off your foot and
onto the ground.

DODGE BREAK
This method may break your attackers arm if done right and
with enough strength.
As he hit for one of the upper parts of your body,
dodge his hand, then grab his arm and hold it between
your arm the side of your body.
Then use your other hand to hit hard on the outside of
his/hers elbow.

DODGE THROW
As your attacker hits for one of the upper parts of your body,
dodge his hand, then grab his arm so that your inner elbow
sits against his inner elbow, then turn swiftly so that you
stand back to back against your attacker. Grab his other arm
so that you have both his arms inside elbow against inside elbow
with your arms. Then bend swiftly forward. As you feel his weight
lightening from your back, let his arms go.
Note: This is a two way attack. If you are not strong and fast
enough, you may be the victim of this attack. But if you obtain
the high speed which is needed for doing this without your opponent
getting to react you will surely hurt him some.


Fun Stuff To Do With Computers:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next issues of Norwegian Underground will contain lots of
cool stuff to do with a computer, both physical and over the
net(both inter(net) and (net)work).

In this issue we will have some fun with the Windows 9x
registry.

CHANGING THE IE TITLE LINE
How to alter the Title line in Internet Explorer is done with a
quick Register visit.
Go to   Start -> Run   and type   regedit   then press [ENTER].
When in the register editor, go to
HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\Software\Microsoft\Internet Explorer\Main
and create a new String called   Window Title   .
Now double-click the new String and type in whatever you would like
to have as a title instead of the dull Microsoft Internet Explorer
text in Internet Explorer.

REMOVING RECENT URLs
IF you have been to an internet area, which you would like
no one else to know you have been at, and you also typed
in the URL in the address bar in Internet Explorer, then
there's only one thing to do.
Go to   Start -> Run   and type in   regedit
then press [ENTER]. Now go to
HKEY_CURRENT_USER\Software\Microsoft\Internet Explorer\TypedURLs
and delete all the strings except the string named   Standard   .


Scaring The Shit Out Of People #6:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm starting to run a little out of ideas on how to
scare the shit out of people. So don't be
surprised if this is the last issue with the scaring
in it, but I'll try to keep it going as long as I
can.

SCRATCHING
Scratching is a cool thing to do. If you know someone
is easily scared, go to their house after dark and bring
something long and thing if their house is tall.
Go to a place where you know they will hear the sound,
then start scratching slowly on their wall, door, window,
whatever. Do it so that it sounds like it does in horror
movies.

DEAD BODY
This one is great! Costs a bit, but is a real killer.
Get a big model-doll, just like the ones they have in
clothes shops. Get some clothes which is a little too long,
and not too tight. Now take an axe, hacksaw, or something
you can use to bash it with and bash the face partly away,
also bash away different body-parts.
Now get something that might seem like a brain, and some
hair. Put blood on the hair, tear it a little apart and
glue it to the head of the doll. Put the "brain" inside
the head(through the hole you bashed). Then spray lots
of fake blood over the whole thing(only where it is
suitable of course). And if you can get a fake plastic
eye, it must look VERY much like a real eye, then make
a hole(if it isn't one already) where the doll-eyes
is, and place the fake eye in the whole, make it hang
a little out so that it seems destroyed.
Now put the doll on the street, in someones car, on
their doorstep, or wherever you feel like, and then
walk away. Make sure it sits in a realistic way.


To Contact Me Send An E-Mail To acidous_@hotmail.com
You can also reach me on Undernet on IRC.

-Acidous of '99 Crack Company