_______ _______ ___ | _ || ____||___| writer(s): haliphax | | ||____ | ___ editor: haliphax __| ____|| | || |__ publisher: haliphax (get it yet?) %%| |%%%%| | || |%% packager: haliphax ~~|___|~~~~|_______||___|~~ courier: haliphax psikotik issue number 4 %--- -- - a little info fuck contributions. i'm doing this shit on my own. you see, unless you've been writing for stuff like cDc or y0lk for a year, everyone could care less about anything you do. fuck contributions, fuck the system. i could really care less about when i release, so there. nyah. thbbbth. yes, my board went down. but i put it back up. yeah, i'm crazy. piss off. this time, there's an nup, and it's all hpavc/zines. no pd shit, no pd users. yadda yadda yadda. oh, and a new name. i dub thee, "constipation of the mind". catchy, huh. i have also changed my alias in tune with the dying of the only group i have ever been a part of, being punc. will i ever join another? i seriously doubt it. wait, i just contradicted myself.. i'm in grape. shit. at least, i think i am.. they haven't released on time either. bah. well, i hope you like the 'zine. you probably won't, but, like i stated before, i don't give a rat's patootie. it's my 'zine. haha... %--- -- - the debt clock ok.. i was piddling around on the internet (gasp! you can use the internet? you must be a HACKER! .. [don't you just hate magazines like wired that say everyone who can do this or that is 'cool' or whatever? me too.]) and i found a site named "the debt clock". well, damn, let's fire that sucker up! can you guess what it was? our national debt. cute. yes, it's 'bout 5 trillion something now, and all the government gives a shit about is smothering electronic freedom. teehee. smart. anyhoo, it was actually a very informative site.. it had links as to why our debt is so big, and stuff like that. i checked canada's debt.. 'bout 500 million. so, we're smaller than canada, but our debt is 10 times as big. ok, NOW i'm an anar- chist. heh.. our country is really sad. you know that? yes. we're always rushing off to stop two countries from fighting, and when we kick the bad guy's ass, what do we do? we give him financial fucking support for the next 50 years. it's a crock, i tell you. we need to restructure everything, and stay out of other countries' business. what the fuck is the u.n. for?! well, let reverend haliphax lay it all out for you. america sucks. all the foreigners come over here with their visions of gold streets and free cable, but when they get here, they're mugged and beaten three fourths to death. they don't even speak english. "look, gook, gimme all your money!" "how dee doo-dee!" ((crunch smack crash)) "gimme your fuckin' wallet!" "how dee doo-dee!" ((punch crush BANG!)) "hah.. that oughtta teach you." i hate it. i'm moving to canada. heh. %--- -- - a little something personal ok.. so, like, i have a big-time crush on a girl, right? i try calling her a lot this summer, but she only picks up once, and that's right before i leave for michigan for two weeks. she thinks it's "cute". i try calling her a few weeks after i get back, no answer. i try the next day, and her brother answers. "jeah?" "um.. is there?" "who is this?" "" "a'ight. look, . you don't need to be callin' any more, 'cuz she can't get any phone calls fo' the rest o' her life." "'k. bye." (in background) "who the fuck is ?" [CLICK!] yowza. see what you get for trying to be nice? i'll probably grow up and rape some old lady. you see, i've never been "popular", or the epitome of my peers, but i've never really been a "nerd" or a "geek", either. but that phone call really pissed me off. her brother's always an asshole, but that time, it just totally fucked my entire "relationship" with her. i'll prolly never talk to her again, and avoid her in school. why? i don't know. i'll probably never know. oh well. se la vi. life sucks dick. %--- -- - galaga rules! yes, galaga. galaga rules. it just does. i love all the nostalgic shit. i guess you could say i'm "old school". i like galaga, space invaders, and just about everything from the 80s. sure, i wasn't that old in the 80s, considering i'm only 14 now, but fuck it. i love the 80s. sure, the hair sucked, but the rest was pretty darn kšhl. i never really realized i loved galaga so much until i was at the mall with polygon breasts (my cosysop), and we waltzed into the arcade. he went for some newfangled game, "time crisis", and i just really craved something old and clunky. he revealed he loved galaga too once he finished time crisis by beating me to the game, but it still made me think. 'course, he almost HAD to love it, because that's the kind of game there was in the 80s, and he's 3 years older than i am. eh. i DO hope i'm not alone (besides polygon breasts.. but i mean.. what the fuck is up with his alias?) about the galaga stuff. because i'd feel extremely akward being the only person in the arcade who ever plays the thing. tip: let your first ship get captured, and win it back.. you'll have two ships shooting then. (polygon taught me that one) %--- -- - acid sux, and why uh oh. i'll probably get sued for saying this, since acid is a big "company" or some such garbage, but i think it's about time i did. i need to stand up for all the little groups out there. no one will ever read this, but i've got to do it for myself. when punc died, it just hit me. all the small, good groups are dying, while all the big, monopolistic-bastard-type groups are staying on top. the reason is obvious, but it still makes one mad, such as myself. i LOVED punc. sure, it was my first group, but still.. a lot of people in it had some great old-school flair. there was no new-school in punc. i loved it. you see, new school just looks so sloppy and ran-through to me. maybe not to you, but i don't like it. oldschool will live forever as long as i'm concerned. thanks for reading. %--- -- - it's only been reincarnated a million times is it just me, or do mogel, black francis, or dead cheese, every once in a while, just drop the zine they're working on, declare it dead, and start a new one? i mean.. it's crazy! i LOVED pEz, damnit! now there's rice. argh. before THAT, even, there was "rEd". it's just totally insane. you see, if i ever declared psikotik "dead", if i ever started up another zine, i'd call it.. well.. psikotik! it's just the name of my zine, and that's the way it's gonna stay. and yeah, it's pronounced "psychotic", and i spelled it wrong on purpose. don't ask why. and also, what is this "eye phear mogel" shit? why? why do you phear mogel? what, has he driven by your house with a shot gun and peppered the aluminum siding with slugs or something? just had to get it off my chest. %--- -- - phun with electric toothbrushes something in an old hootie sparked an idea. it was about vibrating pagers. yes, you remember the issue. funnier'n hell. anyhoo, here's my version. you know those electric toothbrushes? they swivel back and forth, etc.. yeah, you already know what i'm getting at. i might as well throw in a dis- claimer right here and now. &#&#&#& WARNING! THIS ARTICLE IS EXTREMELY PROVOCATIVE AND DISGUSTING! &#&#&#& ok. now, down to business. no, you can't stick a toothbrush in your pants and call yourself on it, but, it's the perfect utility for little per- verts like chelsea clinton and that "dexter" kid they talk about all the time on talk soup. "dexter? what are you doing?!" "i'm.. brushing.. my.. teeth.. MOM!" heh.. ok, enough of that. bye. %--- -- - dickhead this article will be even shorter than all the others. it's about a young fuckboy whose perverted messages forced me to change the title of "Local Chat" to "The Weenie Wars". apparently, him and his ex-cosysop weren't exactly on the best of terms, but he had to go and start something. he calls himself "cannabis sativis", after the marijuana leaf. his ex-co is "goober". cannabis: hey goober, i'm back from california. you know the position. it's time to break out the whips and chains again! goober: shut up, you fucking pervert. cannabis: aww, that isn't the way you talk back to your old butt-buddy happy chronic, is it? me: look, stop that paddles and whips shit before i'm forced to lower your access even FURTHER. yeah, he'd been doing the same shit for quite a while. i turned on my screen one day to find him cussing me out and suggesting i do illegal acts on farm animals, so i just nuked him and put him on ye ole black list. apparently, he's gay. %--- -- - end note no, this issue wasn't terribly long, and it was jam-packed with my gripes and problems. well, that's just the way it is. roll of the dice, if you will. hopefully, next issue, i'll be in a better mood, and all of this junk will be out of the way. this issue isn't very long, because i'll be releasing more often now. not this once-every-two-months shit like before. one reason is, i won't be waiting on articles. i'll just write them myself. when they come, they'll be put in the next issue, if the one they were hoping for was already sent out. until then, chickadees, i bid thee farewell. haliphax0rz %--- -- - eof(4)