.x$$$$$$$$x. .d$$$$$$$$$$$$b. .x$$$$$$$$$$$$$$xx. .$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. .$$$$$$$P~~~~4$$$$$$$$x .$$$$$$$P~~ ~~4$$$$$$, .$$$$$$P~ ~~4$$$$$$ $$$$$$$~ `$$$' $$$$$$P $$$$$x $$$$$$P $$$$$$b `$$$$. x$$$$$$$$x $$$$$$b $$$$$$$b. `$$$' x$$$$$P4$$$$$x $$$$$$$b. .. `$$$$$$$$bx. .$$$$$P~ ~4$$$$$. `$$$$$$$$b.. .d$$$ `$$$$$$$$$$$$bxx.. .$$$$$P 4$$$$$. `$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$' `$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$bx. $$$$$P 4$$$$$ `4$$$$$$$$$$$$P' `4$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$bx. $$$$$b d$$$$$ d$$$$$$$P~~~ `4$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ `$$$$$b d$$$$$' d$$$$$$P' `4$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ `$$$$$b. .d$$$$$' d$$$$$$$' `$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ `$$$$$bd$$$$$' $$$$$$$P mu? x$$$$bx `$$$$$$$$$$$$$' `$$$$$$$$' $$$$$$$b d$' `$$$x 4$$$$$$$$$$$' `$$$$$$$$bx.. ``'.xd$$$ . d$$$$$$$$$$' .xxd$$$$$bxx. `$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$' $. d$$$$$$$$$$' .xd$$$$$$$$$$$$$$bx. `4$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$' $$b. .d$$$$$$$$$$' .xd$$$$$$P~~ ~~4$$$$$$$bx. ~~4$$$$$$$$$$P~~ $$$$bx..xd$$$$$$$$$$$' .d$$$$$P' `4$$$$$$$bxx. .x$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$' .$$$$$P' `4$$$$$$$$bxx.. .xd$$$$' ~4$$$$$$$$$$$P~~ $$$P~~ `4$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$P' `4$$$$$$$$P~~ Sloths over Ethiopia #0004 $$ May 20, 1996 Sloths over Ethiopia is a dto [doomed to obscurity] production $$ $$$ $$ $$$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$$$ $$ $$$ $$ $$$$ $$ $$$$ $$ $$$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$$ all spelling mistakes are the property of snufkin, who may be reached by the rest of the world at the mysterious address "visel@fas.harvard.edu". if you don't believe me, that's okay too, because i'm not going to hoist anywhere. $$ $$$ $$ $$$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$$$ $$ $$$ $$ $$$$ $$ $$$$ $$ $$$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$$ Clams and radishes and that sort of thing Der Story o' Das Puzy-Fu The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Chapter one Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, in a faroff kingdom, there was a king. This was far from extraordinary as most kingdoms tend to have a king. Some kingdoms have queens, but these are more properly termed "queendoms", and really have nothing at all to do with this story here. Now, this kingdom was named Tractoronia, and it was a pretty good kingdom as kingdoms go. The King of Tractoronia was named King Puzz, but everyone who liked called him Good King Jimmy. Those who didn't like him called him other things, but we won't go into that. Now King Puzz was a pretty good king as kings go. Tractoronia, as I have said, was a fine kingdom, but it did have its problems. And so every Thursday, King Puzz sat on his royal throne and he had the people bring their problems to him to see if he could help them. Most days he had to mediate disputes over cows or decide what a good price was for bricks or other things like that. One day, however, a man came into the throne room who did not have a problem involving cows or figs or bricks. He was obviously a poor man and his straw hat had many holes. May I help you? asked King Puzz. Yes, said the man, yes you can. My name is Aifu and my clams have all died. What? asked the king, your clams have all died? Yes, sire, said Aifu, I am a clam farmer and my clams have all died. Ah, said Puzz, a clam farmer. That explains the straw hat. Your clams have died, you say? more puzzy-fu shortly... $$ $$$ $$ $$$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$$$ $$ $$$ $$ $$$$ $$ $$$$ $$ $$$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$$ Sloths over Ethiopia #0004 $$ May 20, 1996 Sloths over Ethiopia is a dto [doomed to obscurity] production Sloths over Ethiopia welcomes all submissions under 3k. Any submissions over 3k will be returned because that's just way too damn long. And for that matter, submissions should be limited to approximately 2,200 bytes. All Sloths over Ethiopia releases will be less than 5k, for no reason. You may reach us at Sloths over Ethiopia by mailing doomed@voicenet.com, the official address of dto [doomed to obscurity] productions. Check out other great releases by dto [doomed to obscurity] productions, which are practically guaranteed to be better than anything you may ever see in Sloths over Ethiopia, which is really just pretty fucking stupid. Sloths over Ethiopia is dedicated to the memory of the late Soe Naing. $$ $$$ $$ $$$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$$$ $$ $$$ $$ $$$$ $$ $$$$ $$ $$$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$$