TCAHR - Better Living Through Memetics

Issue 24
A Short Talk                                        03/27/01
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Many years ago in my oh-so-Goth days, I wrote a short story
I named 'A Short Talk'.  Back then, I thought it was pretty
good.  Then I chanced upon the great Neil Gaiman and
realized what an absolute hack I was!

Anyway, I believe the memes contained in the story are as
sound today as when I wrote them.  Although I could have
gone ahead and retouched this story with whatever writing
talent I've gathered over the years, I decided to upload the
unaltered version instead rather than risk the destruction
of my fledging angst-filled philosophies...
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She kisses me softly on the back of the neck.  I quiver and
sigh contentedly as she wraps her pale arms around me.
Content, because I'm not alone.  Her arms are cold as
corpses, but what else would you expect from Death?

"I love you in this aspect.  Lovely and caring.  I want to
be with you forever."

"Do you?"  She laughs lightly.  "Do you really believe
that?"

Death uncoils her arms as she blesses my neck with another
kiss.  As my love walks away, she touches each headstone she
passes.  Some headstones are so aged, the engraved words on
them have eroded away.  But Death can read them.  More
importantly, she remembers the life of everyone buried here.
She hesitates at one.  She's pensive, I realize from the way
she rubs her arms and the tension in the air.  Coming
toward, I see Death's tears glinting in the moonlight. I sit
at her feet, because I understand that Death sometimes needs
someone to talk to and that few are willing to listen.

"This is where Daniel Kim is buried," she begins as she
wipes her eyes. "He, too, wished to be with me.  With the
beatings after severe beatings he endured, all he wanted was
release.  All he wanted was me.  Every night he prayed that
I would come to him in his slumber.  That I would snatch him
away on dark wings.  Sometimes, as he laid in pain, he'd
fold his arms on his chest and fantasize of being dead.

"At 15, Daniel met Sue.  With Sue, he learned of mortal
love.  She was there to convert his anger and frustration
into passion.  She taught him life and Daniel began to fear
me.  He began to fear the darkness from which he just
stumbled out of.  When his father sent him to me, he cursed
me for separating him from the love of Sue."

Death sits down next to me.  Looking in my eyes she says,
"He left me the same way I imagine you will."

"How dare you accuse me of disloyalty!" I tremble as I roar.
"How dare you!  I love and worship you and all the time you
believe I'd leave you.  How fucking dare you!"

She silences me with a vicious glance and for a minute I
think tonight I'll join the dead buried here.  My fears and
desires are vanquished with that abrupt, madding, little
laugh of hers.

"How little you understand yourself.  Don't you think after
watching you for so long, I'd know of the seed of disloyalty
within you.  Please don't be angry and listen to me.

"I know of your inner thoughts.  Yes, I do know you love me,
but I also know you would leave the embrace of Death for the
embrace of a mortal woman.  You flirt with me, woo me, while
all the while fantasizing of warm flesh.

"Every time you meet a woman for which you develop a
fondness, I can feel the duality in you.  One part of you
wants to be in my realm all the more.  It wants to grasp me
and never let go.  It always takes the fear of loving a
woman to bring out your most feverish devotion."

"And what of the other part?"  I ask, regretful, but still
curious.

"That part wants to live at the woman's feet.  To bask in
the radiance of her life.  To revel in the scraps of
kindness she throws at you.  Always in fear of returning to
the darkness."

I sit there, unable to disagree.

"You have nothing to say because I tell the truth.  Maybe
someday you'll find a woman to love, maybe not, but someday
you will die.  You will be mine.

"You'll wake soon, but I must leave you now.  Another lover
awaits."

"You're wrong, my love.  I'll be yours forever."

"We'll see."

And with a kiss, she's gone.
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tcahr@hotmail.com                             Copyright 2001